If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.— Earl Wilson
The most captivate Earl Wilson quotes that will transform you to a better person
This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.
Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.
One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.
Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.
Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.
A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.
You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.
A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.
Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone, you don't.
Women's liberation will not be achieved until a woman can become paunchy and bald and still think she's attractive to the opposite sex.
Modern man drives a mortgaged car over a bond-financed highway on credit-card gas.
Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.
Money in the bank is like toothpaste in the tube. Easy to take out, hard to put back.
Poise: the ability to be ill at ease inconspicuously.
If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.
Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.
Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in the air.
Somebody figured it out -- we have 35 million laws trying to enforce Ten Commandments.
Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?
Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call to duty.
No horse can go as fast as the money you put on it.
Many a standing ovation has been caused by someone jumping to his feet in an effort to beat the rest of the audience to the parking lot.
Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women.
They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.
The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.
There's only one kind of tax that would please everybody - one that nobody but the other guy has to pay.
Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back
Saying 'Gesundheit' doesn't really help the common cold - but its about as good as anything the doctors have come up with.
Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
He's so snobbish he has an unlisted zip-code.
Today's accent may be on youth, but the stress is still on the parents.
Success is a matter of luck. If you want proof, ask any failure.
He was so honest you could play craps with him over the phone.
To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible.
An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.
Middle Age - later than you think and sooner than you expect.
A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women - but not far enough to lose his balance.
The man who didn't want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise.
A woman may race to get a man a gift but it always ends in a tie.
This is the age of bargain hunters. If it had been this way in biblical times, we'd probably have been offered another commandment free if we had accepted the first ten.
Nothing is as embarrassing as watching your boss do something you assured him couldn't be done.
If you look like your passport photo, in all probability you need the journey.
Nowadays people can be divided into three classes -- the haves the have-nots and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves
Today, there are three kinds of people: the haves, the have-nots, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves.
For the parents of a Little Leaguer, a baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown into innings.
Mathematics-a wonderful science, but it hasn't yet come up with a way to divide one tricycle between three small boys.