For some reason, we are truly convinced that if we criticize ourselves, the criticism will lead to change. If we are harsh, we believe we will end up being kind. If we shame ourselves, we believe we end up loving ourselves. It has never been true, not for a moment, that shame leads to love. Only love leads to love.— Geneen Roth
The most unconventional Geneen Roth quotes that are little-known but priceless
It's never been true, not anywhere at anytime, that the value of a soul, of a human spirit, is dependent on a number on a scale.
Treat yourself as if you already are enough.
Walk as if you are enough. Eat as if you are enough. See, look, listen as if you are enough. Because it's true.
Weight loss does not make people happy.
Or peaceful. Being thin does not address the emptiness that has no shape or weight or name. Even a wildly successful diet is a colossal failure because inside the new body is the same sinking heart.
Most of us spend our lives protecting ourselves from losses that have already happened.
Awareness is learning to keep yourself company
What you pay attention to grows. Pay attention to your loveliness, your magnificent self. Begin now.
If you pay attention to when you are hungry, what your body wants, what you are eating, when you've had enough, you end the obsession because obsession and awareness cannot coexist.
No matter what we weigh, those of us who are compulsive eaters have anorexia of the soul. We refuse to take in what sustains us. We live lives of deprivation. And when we can't stand it any longer, we binge.
The purpose of a spiritual path or religion is to provide a precise and believable way into what seems unbelievable.
Awareness is learning to keep yourself company.
And then learn to be more compassionate company, as if you were somebody you are fond of and wish to encourage.
Meditation is a tool to shake yourself awake.
A way to discover what you love. A practice to return yourself to your body when the mind medleys threaten to usurp your sanity.
If you try to lose weight by shaming, depriving and fearing yourself, you will end up shamed, deprived, and afraid. Kindness comes first. Always.
Imagine not being frightened by any feeling.
Imagine knowing that nothing will destroy you. That you are beyond any feeling, and state. Bigger than. Vaster than. That there is no reason to use drugs because anything a drug could do would pale in comparison to knowing who you are.
You can rescue yourself. No matter how you feel, no matter what you believe about your worth or your capacity to love and be loved, you can change.
Healing is about being awake. Being broken and whole at the same time.
You don't need a scale to tell you whether you're allowed to like yourself today. You are. You belong here. No matter what you weigh, you deserve joy and happiness.
You already have everything you need to be content.
Your real work is to do whatever it takes to realize that.
Real change happens bit by bit. It takes great effort to become effortless at anything. There are no quick fixes.
. . . hell is wanting to be somewhere different from where you are. Being one place and wanting to be somewhere else . . . . Wanting life to be different from what it is. That's also called leaving without leaving. Dying before you die. It's as if there is a part of you that so rails against being shattered by love that you shatter yourself first.
The way you eat is inseparable from your core beliefs about being alive.
Your relationship with food is an exact mirror of your feelings about love, fear, anger, meaning and transformation.
And if you worry that not finishing the food on your plate is a slap in the face of all the hungry people everywhere, you are not living in reality. The truth is that you either throw the food out or you throw it in, but either way it turns to waste. World hunger will not be solved by finishing the garlic mashed potatoes on your plate.
Chocolate ... is not something you can take or leave, something you like only moderately. You dont like chocolate. You dont even love chocolate. Chocolate is something you have an affair with.
It matters whether you see yourself as someone who is capable of effecting change or whether you see yourself as someone whose voice does not count. It matters whether you treat yourself with reverence or with carelessness. Every bit of work you do on yourself matters. Every time you choose love, it matters.
For every diet there's an equal and opposite binge (bulimia which is binging and purging is another way of depriving yourself).
The real work of this life is not what we do every day from 9-5.
..The real work is to be passionate, be holy, be wild, be irreverent, to laugh and cry until you awaken the sleeping spirits, until the ground of your being cleaves and the universe comes flooding in.
The truth is that it’s not about the weight.
It’s never been about the weight. When a pill is discovered that allows people to eat whatever they want and not gain weight, the feelings and situations they turned to food to avoid will still be there and they will find other more inventive ways to numb themselves.
The relentless attempts to be thin take you further and further away from what could actually end your suffering: getting back in touch with who you really are. Your true nature. Your essence.
You are not your past, not your habits, not your compulsions.
When you get to know who you are, anything becomes possible.
Ask: is what I'm doing and thinking right now bringing me closer to myself or farther away? Opening my heart or closing it? You have a choice.
Meditation is a tool to shake yourself awake.
If you decided to reteach yourself your own loveliness today, what would you do? How would you speak to yourself? Can you allow yourself that much?
Love includes vulnerability, surrender, self-valuing, steadiness, and a willingness to face - rather than run from - the worst of ourselves.
Women look at their bodies, and they're never thin enough.
The financial advisors that I've talked to say they ask their clients, "How much money do you need in order to feel secure?" "X amount." Then, as soon as the client got the amount, it would double automatically.
No act of love is ever wasted.
I tell my retreat students that they need to remember two things: to eat what they want when they're hungry and to feel what they feel when they're not.
Freedom from obsession is not about something you do;
it's about knowing who you are. It's about recognizing what sustains you and what exhausts you. What you love and what you think you love because you believe you can't have it.
It's the nature of hearts to break. It's in their job description. When a heart is doing what it's supposed to be doing, it holds nothing back. And sometimes it gets broken.
We eat the way we live.
Change, if it is to be long lasting, must occur on the unseen levels first
When you don't want to be where you are, you create suffering for yourself.
Change happens through acceptance, kindness and relaxation--not resistance, not warfare, not fights.
If LOVE could talk to you about your relationship with food, what would it say?
The problem with fantasy is the greatest benefit of fantasy: it prevents us from living in the present moment.
The process is the goal.
Being hungry is like being in love: if you don't know, you're probably not.
We need to build our friendships on truth and wholeness.
We need friends who can be with us in our loneliness, not people who will cheer us up so that we don’t feel it. We need friends who get furious with us when we are not being real or true to ourselves, not when we don’t do what they want us to do.
Being exaltingly thin was, of course, the foundation for the visibility, the man, the adornments of this life-to-be; it was the prerequisite that made the rest of the dream possible. And since no matter how thin I got, I was frightened that I could wake up tomorrow and be fat again, the rest of the dream was forever ten or twenty pounds away.
You can't be stuck if you're not trying to get anywhere.
Which, to me, means that when you stop fighting with the way things are, magic happens. You relax, open, and any action you take comes from alignment with what's true.
If you think your job is to fix what is broken, you keep finding more broken places to mend.
You will stop turning to food when you start understanding in your body, not just your mind, that there is something better...Truth, not force, does the work of ending compulsive eating.