14+ Ian Shoales Quotes On Art, War And World

Ian Shoales is an American actor, comedian, and writer. He is best known for his appearances on Saturday Night Live in the 1980s, as well as for his stand-up comedy and writing for various television shows. He is also the creator of the character "The Critic", a satirical commentator on pop culture. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Ian Shoales on life, art, love.

Football players, like prostitutes, are in the business of ruining their bodies for the pleasure of strangers. — Ian Shoales

I know what love is: Tracy and Hepburn, Bogart and Bacall, Romeo and Juliet, Jackie and John and Marilyn. — Ian Shoales

I don't like people who speak French in public places. This includes the French. — Ian Shoales

Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing. — Ian Shoales

L.A.: where there's never weather, and walking is a crime. L.A.: where the streetlights and palm trees go on forever, where darkness never comes, like a deal that never goes down, a meeting that's never taken. The City of Angels: where every cockroach has a screenplay and even the winos wear roller skates. It's that kind of town. — Ian Shoales

The word relationship best refers to the connection between parasite and host, or shark and remora. It's a biological term. I'd rather be a jerk than a scientist when it comes to love. — Ian Shoales

Everybody's excited about the new service economy, even though there is no actual service as near as I can tell. — Ian Shoales

I read a column by George Will that SCARFACE should be rated X because parents were taking their children to see it. So what? Why should the motion-picture industry be responsible for our morality? Dad says to Mom, `SCARFACE is in town.' `What's it about?' `Human scum who kill each other over cocaine deals.' `Sounds great! Let's take the kids!' — Ian Shoales

Never ask a woman why she's angry at you. She will either get angrier at you for not knowing, or she'll tell you. Both ways, you lose. — Ian Shoales

They don't produce anything. All they do is guide you through the labyrinth of the legal system that they created - and they keep changing it just in case you start to catch on. — Ian Shoales

Sigmund Freud was a half baked Viennese quack. Our literature, culture, and the films of Woody Allen would be better today if Freud had never written a word. — Ian Shoales

Americans will buy anything, as long as it doesn't cross the thin line between cute and demonic. — Ian Shoales

Men want to put their signature at the bottom; women don't want to finish that letter. — Ian Shoales

Favorite color: I hate colors. — Ian Shoales

Life Lessons by Ian Shoales

1. Ian Shoales has taught us that humor can be used to make a point and to challenge the status quo.
2. He has shown us that it is possible to make a career out of being creative and funny.
3. He has demonstrated that it is possible to use comedy to make a difference in the world.