Football players, like prostitutes, are in the business of ruining their bodies for the pleasure of strangers.

— Ian Shoales

The most bumbling Ian Shoales quotes that will activate your inner potential

I know what love is: Tracy and Hepburn, Bogart and Bacall, Romeo and Juliet, Jackie and John and Marilyn.

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I don't like people who speak French in public places. This includes the French.

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Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing.

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L.A.: where there's never weather, and walking is a crime. L.A.: where the streetlights and palm trees go on forever, where darkness never comes, like a deal that never goes down, a meeting that's never taken. The City of Angels: where every cockroach has a screenplay and even the winos wear roller skates. It's that kind of town.

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The word relationship best refers to the connection between parasite and host, or shark and remora. It's a biological term. I'd rather be a jerk than a scientist when it comes to love.

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Everybody's excited about the new service economy, even though there is no actual service as near as I can tell.

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I read a column by George Will that SCARFACE should be rated X because parents were taking their children to see it. So what? Why should the motion-picture industry be responsible for our morality? Dad says to Mom, `SCARFACE is in town.' `What's it about?' `Human scum who kill each other over cocaine deals.' `Sounds great! Let's take the kids!'

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Never ask a woman why she's angry at you.

She will either get angrier at you for not knowing, or she'll tell you. Both ways, you lose.

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They don't produce anything. All they do is guide you through the labyrinth of the legal system that they created - and they keep changing it just in case you start to catch on.

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Sigmund Freud was a half baked Viennese quack.

Our literature, culture, and the films of Woody Allen would be better today if Freud had never written a word.

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Americans will buy anything, as long as it doesn't cross the thin line between cute and demonic.

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Men want to put their signature at the bottom; women don't want to finish that letter.

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About Ian Shoales

Quotes 14 sayings
Profession Actor
Birthday October 1, 1949

Favorite color: I hate colors.

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