The new Haitian baseball can't weigh more than four ounces or less than five.— Jerry Coleman
The most seductive Jerry Coleman quotes that are guaranted to improve your brain
Sometimes big trees grow out of acorns - I think I heard that from a squirrel.
Hats off to drug abusers everywhere.
And Kansas City is at Chicago tonight, or is it Chicago at Kansas City? Well, no matter as Kansas City leads in the eighth 4 to 4.
There is someone warming up in the Giants' bullpen, but he's obscured by his number.
Hector Torrez, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?
Ozzie Smith just made another play that I've never seen anyone else make before, and I've seen him make it more often than anyone else ever has.
You never ask why you've been fired because if you do, they're liable to tell you.
Rich Folkers is throwing 'em up in the bullpen.
Gaylord Perry and Willie McCovey should know each other like a book.
They've been ex-teammates for years now.
It's a cold night out tonight. The Padres better warm up real good because it's stiff out there.
Gonzo leaps like a giraffe and grabs it.
The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field.
No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside.
A day without newspapers is like walking around without your pants on.
Sunday is Senior Citizens' Day. And if you want to become a senior citizen, just call the Padre ticket office.
The ballgame is over...in this inning.
Renko has just about had it. Pretty soon somebody will come out of the dugout with a fork and get him.
The Cards lead the Dodgers 4-2 after one inning and that one hasn't even started.
You didn't have to say it was gone. It was gone before it got outta here. It was going that fast.
Rick Miller hit only one home run last year, and that's like hitting none.
Billy Almon has all of his in-laws and outlaws here this afternoon.
Whenever you get an inflamed tendon, you've got a problem. OK, here's the next pitch to Gene Tendon.
Templeton is as hot as you can be and still walk!
The Phillies beat the Cubs today in a doubleheader. That puts another keg in the Cubs' coffin.
Well, it looks like the all-star balloting is about over, especially in the National and American Leagues.
It's a base hit on the error by Roberts.
At the end, excitement maintained its hysteria.
Tony Taylor was one of the first acquisitions that the Phillies made when they reconstructed their team. They got him from Philadelphia.
The big ballpark can do it all!
Hi folks, I'm Gerry Gross!
If ever an error had "F" written on it, that grounder did.
They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe.
Hi, folks, I'm Jerry Gross. No, I'm not, I'm Jerry Coleman.
There's a hard shot to LeMaster, he throws Madlock into the dugout.
Mike Caldwell, the Padres' right-handed southpaw, will pitch tonight.
That noise in my earphones knocked my nose off and I had to pick it up and find it.
I've made a couple of mistakes I'd like to do over.
With one out in the first, Dave Roberts looks a lot better than the last time he pitched against the Padres!
Larry Moffett is 6' 3". Last year he was 6" 6".
I don't mean he missed him, but he just didn't get him when he put the tag on him.
Reggie Smith of the Dodgers and Gary Matthews of the homers hit Braves in that game.
Hrabosky looks fierce in that Fu Manchu haircut.
We started with 53,000 people. Half are gone, but surprisingly, most are still here!
Eric Show will be 0 for 10 if that pop fly ever comes down.
Many people think the Cards at the end of the wire will cross the finish line first.
There's two heads to every coin.
Over the course of a season, a miscue will cost you more than a good play.
Larry Lintz steals second standing up. He slid, but he didn't have to.
Pete Rose has three thousand hits and three thousand fourteen overall.