The first rule of Zombieland: Cardio. When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons ... were the fatties.

— Jesse Eisenberg

The most floundering Jesse Eisenberg quotes that will transform you to a better person

When playing a role, I would feel more comfortable, as you're given a prescribed way of behaving. So, both Facebook and theatre provide contrived settings that provide the illusion of social interaction.

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In those moments where you're not quite sure if the undead are really dead, dead, don't get all stingy with your bullets. I mean, one more clean shot to the head, and this lady could have avoided becoming a human Happy Meal. Woulda... coulda... shoulda.

40

I have one female fan. But she lives with me. I'm not aware of any others.

19

Poor people are gross and they 'smell bad

8

I feel things can always be funny, but that's probably because I have some kind of leftover childhood need to make people laugh. For somebody like me, that's the thing you excel at.

7

I find it very difficult to do normal things without getting approached.

6

I don't watch the movies I'm in - ever.

Sometimes I keep pictures, but that's it. I used to watch my movies, because I didn't want to be rude to the people making them, but I stopped a few years ago. I think it's pretty common among actors. It's like listening to your own voice, but multiplied by a million.

6

I grew up in Queens and New Jersey. I started doing children's theater when I was seven to get out of school because I didn't fit in.

4

The old cliché in theater is, if you’re nervous, pick up a prop, which will immediately take you outside of your mind.

4

I give credence to the worst things somebody writes about me, and if somebody writes something nice, I think they're wrong or false or lying or joking.

4

In acting class, you're trained to express yourself as much as you can.

3

Where I feel something that I had written was misinterpreted in a way that made people feel bad, that is absolutely horrifying to me. I feel so embarrassed and I feel ashamed that I should make people feel bad.

3

About Jesse Eisenberg

Quotes 78 sayings
Nationality American
Profession Actor
Birthday October 16

Acting is a weird profession. It's very disquieting, and at the time it just made me so confused. It's only when you step away from a movie for several weeks or months that you start to put things in perspective.

3

And I'm sure after Facebook it will be the little cameras that we have implanted into the palms of our hands and we'll be debating whether we should get them, and then we'll all get them.

3

I feel like when I was 13 and I had to go to bar mitzvahs every weekend.

This is the same feeling. You have to put on a suit every weekend to go meet with a bunch of Jews.

3

Devils don't come from hell beneath us, they come from the sky.

3

If I get no sleep the night before a show, I feel that performance is the best one.

3

I think I'm an abstinence symbol. If I take my shirt off, people will not have babies.

2

Don't be a hero, live to fight another day.

1

A lot of times the character's experience is not in accordance with the tone of the movie and it's not really my job to account for the tone of the movie. That's the director's job.

0

My feeling is... when you show up to a movie set where there's, like, 50 people standing around and months of preparation gone into it, you want to be as prepared as possible, so you should make a million baguettes. That might not actually help in any explicit way, but it'll make you feel more prepared.

0

I think the most important thing for an actor is reading the script and trying to figure out if you can play that character well. The last thing on my mind is if the director made good movies previously. It's not my job to know if that director's last movie was any good - it's my job to know if I can play the role.

0

I always think the second worst thing in the world is to go on stage at night, and the first worst thing in the world is sitting at home at night. For me, it's scarier to not be doing it than doing it.

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[As an actor] you're looking to crawl into an anonymous fictional person's skin, but then you have the ironic obligation to promoting the movie in such a public way that it almost undermines the initial intention of going under the radar.

0

As an actor, if I show up late somewhere or I say something that's eccentric, it's totally acceptable - not only that, it's lauded in some perverse way.

0

I tend to prefer the smaller movies because they shoot more efficiently and so you're are able to maintain that momentum of the character a little more easily.

0

I purposefully isolate myself from anything that has to do with any press.

I don't read any press about myself.

0

I think there's nothing more wonderful than using fiction to reflect real-world cultural ideas.

0

Society will decide after the technology is created what we will and won't accept.

0

You can tell when you watch a movie, usually, what the actors' experience was on the movie, because even the smallest of roles were interesting.

0

Look, I don't have a Facebook page because I have little interest in hearing myself talk about myself any further than I already do in interviews or putting any more about myself online than there already is. But if I wasn't in this position, I'm sure I would use it every day.

0

It's a really unique acting opportunity to play two roles who are not only interacting with each other, but vastly different.

0

No compliment is ever sufficient and every insult, of course, is true.

0

The only way to be turned off to being famous is to be famous.

And I only have like a tiny, tiny bit of that, and I'm already disgusted by it. But I realize that the only way to be disgusted by fame is to be famous, because otherwise it looks amazing. Then people stop you on the street, and it's like the most annoying thing in the world. The first time it happened it's great, and then the second time you have to shake somebody's hand.

0

The joy of acting for me is to be able to experience emotions in a safe environment. You can't scream and cry in the street because everybody will look. If you do it on a movie set, you get applauded.

0

It's a very strange experience to watch yourself in a movie anyway.

I most frequently don't do it, but if I was going to do it, I would do it in a private way, not at a public screening at a film festival, which is just an overwhelming experience.

0

If you went to Harvard Medical School, chances are you'll be a doctor at some place. There's a career trajectory. Acting, there's nothing. It's constantly trying to procure jobs - it's very disconcerting.

0

Actually, acting in bumper cars is terrible, because the really only way to film it and get a close up is to literally mount the camera - this heavy thing on the car and it's just the worst because you can't act at all with a thing on the car.

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I think I prioritize other people's opinions of me very highly, which is not necessarily a good thing - it's a thing that causes a lot of anxiety.

0

Who walks around proud of things they've done? That's an obnoxious quality.

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I'm kind of shocked any time somebody hires me and even more shocked any time somebody hires me to play a character like Lex Luthor, which I only knew from the public consciousness of him being a bald, brooding villain who is older than me.

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If you're afraid of everything out there, you quit going out there.

0

I view myself in the narrowest possible terms, but I don't watch anything I've been in, and I don't read reviews or analysis of movies I've been in, or my plays.

0

My job when I'm acting in a movie is very limited to playing a role.

I'm not evaluating somebody. I'm only evaluating them insofar as they're interacting with me, but I'm not evaluating their skill set and I don't watch the movies, so I'm not aware of the way they're putting things together.

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I personally don’t feel the need to be radical for its own sake, but I probably couldn’t if I tried anyway.

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In New York, everybody is their own celebrity, so they're not so interested in other people.

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First rule of magic? Always be the smartest guy in the room.

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My hope is to never act again and just do press.

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I think it's a room full of insecure actors, which is ultimately very comforting.

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