56+ Kevin Nealon Quotes On Snl, Carson And Johnny Carson

Kevin Nealon is an American actor, comedian and writer. He is best known for his nine-year stint as a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1986 to 1995 and for playing Doug Wilson on the Showtime series Weeds. He has also appeared in films such as Happy Gilmore, Anger Management, Little Nicky and Daddy Day Care. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Kevin Nealon on life, love, snl.

Top 10 Kevin Nealon Quotes

1. A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.
2. I have a wandering eye and a lazy eye so they cancel each other out. It's a push.
3. Breaking News: Winds so strong in NYC The Statue of Liberty's gown just blew off!
4. Every homeless puppy and kitten was born to parents who weren't spayed or neutered. I'm proud to support PETA's work to prevent animal homelessness.
5. If people can't deal with their problems, they numb themselves a little bit.
6. You don't have to swim faster than the shark, just faster than the person you're with.
7. I'm on a strict running program. I started yesterday. I've only missed one day so far.
8. Basically, I'm a people pleaser who has a knack for disappointing.
9. Don't play dead with a vulture. That's exactly what they want.
10. Workers insist that they are not disgruntled. They are very gruntled.

Kevin Nealon Short Quotes

• Curb Your Enthusiasm, is not so much about Hollywood. It's more about Larry's weaknesses.
• I'm Kevin Nealon, and that's news to me.
• I've noticed a surge when I go out somewhere, or if I'm doing stand-up.
• As an actor, you're always reading scripts looking for something good.
• It seems like all the sitcoms on now, the families are kind of dysfunctional.
• I tried to read the Bible, I did, but it always felt like a much less awesome Lord of the Rings.
• When I began doing stand-up, it took me a long time to get an hour's worth of material together.
• It is a great rush to come up with a joke that gets a good response from the audience. It's gold!
• I play a lot of sports. I'm not real good at any of them. I'm above adequate.
• As a comedian, you're kind of like a blues musician; you have to live a little bit.

Kevin Nealon Quotes About Life

I am whelmed, and not overly whelmed, just whelmed about a lot of facets in life - just how fragile life is and the different challenges you have in life, phobias about things. — Kevin Nealon

The ethical argument regarding abortion hinges on the question of when life begins. Some believe life begins at forty. — Kevin Nealon

They say that moving is one of the most stressful things in life. Death in the family is the second most stressful, and moving your dead spouse is the third. — Kevin Nealon

Kevin Nealon Quotes About People

I went to school for marketing and advertising, so I have a special interest in good and funny commercials and why they work and why they're funny - which is one of the reasons I, like many people, like watching the Super Bowl, besides the game. — Kevin Nealon

Any time you do an Adam Sandler film, it's kind of like a boys' club, because you're hanging out and there are guitars around, and basketballs and footballs and electric bikes and scooters and different people dropping by. — Kevin Nealon

It's kind of fun when you're playing characters that aren't quite on the up and up and people still like you. — Kevin Nealon

A new poll showed that if the election was held today, people would be confused because it is normally held in November. — Kevin Nealon

Kevin Nealon Famous Quotes And Sayings

There's so many vegetarian foods now that are available at the market . The same with drive-throughs. Now, a lot of them serve veggie burgers just like the restaurants are doing. So, it's really very easy. — Kevin Nealon

I remember the first date I ever went out on. It was in high school. Her name was Marguerite. She was kind of a heavyset girl... I took her out on one date. We went out for dinner and a movie and a dinner. — Kevin Nealon

What happened was, I always wanted to be a singer/songwriter kind of guy like a James Taylor or Crosby, Stills and Nash type of thing; I went to a lot of coffee houses and used to watch all those guys, but I never had the nerve to get up and do it because singing seems so personal and intimate to me. It was too revealing. — Kevin Nealon

I'd been doing some light-beer commercials for Budweiser and Coors, and I was doing stand-up comedy. I wanted to get into the acting world, and my agent sent me on audition and they liked it. — Kevin Nealon

The hardest thing about moving to California from Connecticut was just missing my family. If I went back, it would be just because I was homesick. — Kevin Nealon

If you want a transcript of tonight's program, get a pen and write down everything I said. — Kevin Nealon

I don't mind seeing two guys kissing, you know, as long as they're clean-shaven. — Kevin Nealon

I learned how to draw from being bored in school. I would doodle on the margins of my paper — Kevin Nealon

I grew up watching stand-ups and thought it was so entertaining and unique - you didn’t see that as a job description anywhere. — Kevin Nealon

I enjoyed living in New York City, I liked the premise of the show [Saturday Night Live], I liked working with a different host every week and different musicians. I always thought, "This is great. I never expected to get this in the first place, so I'm just happy being here." — Kevin Nealon

It is unconscionable for children in our prosperous country, or anywhere for that matter, to go without food. I implore everyone to contact their local and state representatives to encourage action to end hunger. — Kevin Nealon

A novel is too much of a commitment. I tend to peruse Twitter - I check to see if I had any mentions and read the latest messages. — Kevin Nealon

I was never really an impressionist. If there was somebody within my range, maybe I could work on it and do a little exaggeration of them - which I think is really the way to do an impression. — Kevin Nealon

A special validates you as a stand-up by documenting your material. — Kevin Nealon

I have a severe addiction to 'Angry Birds.' I always tell myself, 'One more game...' But then there's always another and another and another. — Kevin Nealon

The funny thing about commercials to me is that many of them now don't even mention the product until the very end. You don't really know what the commercial is all about. They're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and that's why I think they're so entertaining. — Kevin Nealon

I don't smoke pot or cigarettes, so inhaling smoke as a non-smoker - it doesn't matter what it is, it's going to make you lightheaded. — Kevin Nealon

Roxanne came along in '86, when I was doing a lot of stand-up. I auditioned for the movie, and of course I was a huge Steve Martin fan, so I really hoped I would get this part. I don't think there was any part in particular that I auditioned for. I just went in and talked with them. There were so many parts in there, and so many comedians ended up getting in that movie, playing different firemen and townspeople. — Kevin Nealon

I think I sent out some résumés for marketing jobs, and they all came back in the mail because I didn't have enough postage. — Kevin Nealon

"Bruce" was an Eddie Murphy film, so there was a whole different vibe, working on that film, as opposed to working on a [Adam] Sandler film, which I'd done a few of. First of all, there were tons of kids running around. I'm surprised I ever had a kid after doing that film. — Kevin Nealon

The good thing about 'Weeds' now is, I get to play some dramatic parts in that as well. — Kevin Nealon

I played a security guard, and I think it was in the State Department. This was my first acting role, really, and I remember rehearsing it on the couch with my girlfriend at the time. I had a real problem with saying the word "incendiary." Most of my rehearsal was spent on pronouncing the word "incendiary." — Kevin Nealon

'The Outer Limits' was one of those shows I grew up watching - that and The 'Twilight Zone.' — Kevin Nealon

I think Little Nicky was a divergence from the films Adam Sandler was used to doing, and he was taking a risk. I admire him for doing that. — Kevin Nealon

I never really got into marketing. I went to school for it, but never pursued it once I got out. Instead, I went to Europe for about two months, just traveling around in youth hostels and Eurail trains with my friends. — Kevin Nealon

Saturday Night Live was a show that I never thought I would be on, because I didn't do sketch comedy and I didn't do impressions. I was a stand-up. — Kevin Nealon

I like to stuff myself at Thanksgiving, not turkeys. — Kevin Nealon

I'm probably more of a stand-up comedian than an actor. — Kevin Nealon

Marriage is great. It'll calm you down - that and neutering. — Kevin Nealon

Life Lessons by Kevin Nealon

1. Kevin Nealon has taught us to stay humble and be grateful for what we have. He encourages us to take risks and follow our dreams, no matter how difficult they may seem.
2. He also reminds us to stay positive and to focus on the good in life, even when times are tough.
3. Finally, Kevin Nealon has shown us that it's important to be kind and generous to others, and to always find joy in the little things.