110+ Lily Tomlin Quotes On Forgiveness, Funny And Versatile
Quick Jump To
Top 10 Lily Tomlin Quotes (BEST)
- I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
- The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
- The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
- Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?
- There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
- I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
- For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
- If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
- If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.
- Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest - then we can all die laughing.
Lily Tomlin Image Quotes
For fast-acting relief try slowing down. — Lily Tomlin
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? — Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Short Quotes
- We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
- Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
- We're all in this alone.
- If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
- We are all in this together, by ourselves.
- The formula for water is H2O. Is the formula for an ice cube H2O squared?
- Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
- After all, in private, we're all misfits
- Why is it when we talk to God, we're praying, but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?
- Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
Lily Tomlin Quotes On Funny
If I had known what it would be like to have it all - I might have been willing to settle for less. — Lily Tomlin
You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all. — Lily Tomlin
Even when I'm being funny, I'm deadly serious. — Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes On Specific
I have always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific. — Lily Tomlin
I've always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific. — Lily Tomlin
When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific. — Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes On Reality
Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. — Lily Tomlin
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch. — Lily Tomlin
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. — Lily Tomlin
Reality is nothing more than a collective hunch. — Lily Tomlin
I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it's much too confining. — Lily Tomlin
Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. — Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes On Life
I worry about kids today - because of the sexual revolution, they're going to grow up and never know what "dirty" means. — Lily Tomlin
I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won't. — Lily Tomlin
Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers. — Lily Tomlin
Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest? — Lily Tomlin
If life is so meaningless, then why are we always bringing it up? — Lily Tomlin
There's nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, 'I didn't do it right'. — Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Quotes On Truth
The best mind-altering drug is the truth. — Lily Tomlin
Truth is, I've always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers. — Lily Tomlin
If truth is beauty, then how come no one has their hair done in a library? — Lily Tomlin
If beauty is truth, why don't women go to the library to have their hair done? — Lily Tomlin
Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that's the truth. — Lily Tomlin
Lily Tomlin Famous Quotes And Sayings
For fast-acting relief try slowing down. — Lily Tomlin
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? — Lily Tomlin
Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them. — Lily Tomlin
Success is a ladder that cannot be climbed with your hands in your pocket - The road to success is always under construction — Lily Tomlin
The whole idea of being in captivity in such limited space, especially in a zoo, causes elephants to suffer. They develop all kinds of foot diseases. They die. They get cysts. Not only is it painful, it eventually kills them. — Lily Tomlin
My politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them. — Lily Tomlin
Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed. — Lily Tomlin
The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth. — Lily Tomlin
Nobody is here without a reason. I always had a different sensibility. I like a huge range of comedy - from broad and farcical, the most sensitive, the most understated - but I always wanted my comedy to be more embracing of the species rather than debasing of it. — Lily Tomlin
Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry. — Lily Tomlin
No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up. — Lily Tomlin
When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis! — Lily Tomlin
Remember we're all in this alone. — Lily Tomlin
When we talk to god, it's prayer. When god talks to us, it's schizophrenia. — Lily Tomlin
I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else. — Lily Tomlin
Creating characters is just another way to express a type and put that type to use. — Lily Tomlin
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. — Lily Tomlin
And yet humanity is so not evolved that how can you expect anything absolutely major to happen? Look how long, we move ahead in technology, how much do we move ahead in morality or emotion? We move ahead so minimally, minimally, minimally. — Lily Tomlin
When I've had a meltdown, people will say to me, "Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor." — Lily Tomlin
The thing that most distresses me is whenever I see things over sexualized, I worry about young girls. Some of the fall out of the feminist movement is that it made younger and younger girls more sexually available. It's part of the philosophy, be your own person and be free. But, girls are so over sexualized in this culture. — Lily Tomlin
Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain. — Lily Tomlin
If evolution was worth its salt, it should've evolved something better than 'survival of the fittest.' I think a better idea would be 'survival of the wittiest.' At least, that way, creatures that didn't survive could've died laughing. — Lily Tomlin
I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain. — Lily Tomlin
I'm not a religious person. I don't have any desire. To me it's imitative of a conventional culture. I'm all for it for anybody. I totally have a free and open feeling about how other humans want to live their lives. It's just not something that has any real significance for me. — Lily Tomlin
My space chums think my unique hookup with humanity could be evolution's awkward attempt to jump-start itself up again. They're thinking just maybe, going crazy could be the evolutionary process trying to hurry up mind expansion. Maybe my mind didn't snap. Maybe it was just trying to stretch itself into a new shape. The cerebral cortex trying to grow a thumb of sorts. — Lily Tomlin
I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They'd eaten each other. — Lily Tomlin
You can't expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it's a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way. — Lily Tomlin
In the depths of the night, fear grips my heart. It paralyzes my mind. But most of all, I feel very, very alone — Lily Tomlin
People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with. — Lily Tomlin
We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles. — Lily Tomlin
There will be sex after death, we just won't be able to feel it. — Lily Tomlin
I was always empathetic with animals. It's a terrible and self-involved point of view that we do something because someone else is exploitable. — Lily Tomlin
Suddenly I burst into song: 'Awe, sweet mystery of life, at last I found thee...' And I felt so good inside and my heart felt so full, I decided I would set time aside each day to do awe-robics. Because at the moment you are most in awe of all there is about life that you don't understand, you are closer to understanding it all than at any other time. — Lily Tomlin
I especially love 'Web Therapy' and I did 'Eastbound and Down' too. I had a lot of fun doing that. — Lily Tomlin
What if it's boring - or if it's not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring. — Lily Tomlin
The start to a better world is the belief that it is possible. — Lily Tomlin
I wonder what it would be like if we all became what we wanted to be when we grew up? I mean, imagine a world filled with nothing but firemen, cowboys, nurses and ballerinas. — Lily Tomlin
To me, "sexual freedom" means freedom from having to have sex. — Lily Tomlin
Infinity is just time on an ego trip. — Lily Tomlin
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet? — Lily Tomlin
What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains. — Lily Tomlin
What goes up must come down. But don't expect it to come down where you can find it. — Lily Tomlin
I wanted to be a stage actress. I wanted to be a New York actress and have a community with other actors. I didn't want to get famous; I always thought getting famous was a drag on you. — Lily Tomlin
No matter how cynical I get, I can't keep up. — Lily Tomlin
I guess if people couldn't profit from war I don't think there would be war. — Lily Tomlin
Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it's imposssible to keep up. — Lily Tomlin
I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody. — Lily Tomlin
If you have a dog or a cat, you know how developed they can be. How sensitive, how aware. They suffer. We all do. — Lily Tomlin
If you can't be direct, why be? — Lily Tomlin
You are what you think ... geez, that's frightening. — Lily Tomlin
The larger picture is really to swing people's awareness of what really is moral. — Lily Tomlin
But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money. — Lily Tomlin
I try to be cynical, but it's so hard to keep up. — Lily Tomlin
I never thought of myself as any kind of a film star, as many films as I've made - and I've made some really fun movies with good people. I've always been paired with someone because I'm not really box office, in that carrying-a-picture sense. I've always been busy, but not in the spotlight. — Lily Tomlin
If trying harder doesn't work, try softer. — Lily Tomlin
Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself. — Lily Tomlin
Thank God kids never mean well — Lily Tomlin
It's a more ridiculing, divisive humor today. — Lily Tomlin
To act out something or take chances in the performance is one thing. But in terms of a camera, whatever's captured is captured so that's a little more daunting. You know you can't go back next week and fix it. Whereas in a live audience you know it's so in the moment and you just go with what's happening. First of all you never have to see it again so you don't know if you were really fulfilling it or not. — Lily Tomlin
Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought. — Lily Tomlin
I mean yes to act out something or take chances in the performance is one thing. But in terms of a camera, whatever's captured is captured so that's a little more daunting. — Lily Tomlin
Does your mind feel more and more like teflon? Nothing sticks to it? — Lily Tomlin
Growing up in Michigan was fine...until I realized where I was. — Lily Tomlin
Sexual freedom and liberation has to be of your own making. I'm stunned when I hear about friends' children, ten or twelve years old giving blow jobs. I just don't like the girls being used or exploited in that way. It's just indiscriminate sexual relating. It's just the isolated things. — Lily Tomlin
I guess that's one of the reasons that you do it - work all the time - because it's sort of a high to find something that really works. — Lily Tomlin
We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company. — Lily Tomlin
9 to 5 made people aware of equal pay for equal work. It hasn't really happened, but it has come closer. — Lily Tomlin
We're giving jobs to people who would otherwise be out of work if we weren't exploiting cheap labor. — Lily Tomlin
I still believe that sex is dirty. It's just that now I wouldn't have it any other way. — Lily Tomlin
Exercise is for people who can't handle drugs or alcohol. — Lily Tomlin
Life Lessons by Lily Tomlin
- Lily Tomlin teaches us to be resilient and stay true to ourselves, no matter how difficult the circumstances. She has faced many obstacles in her career and has always found a way to succeed.
- She encourages us to be creative and take risks, to never be afraid to try something new. She has taken on many challenging roles which have pushed her to explore her creative potential.
- Lily Tomlin also reminds us to stay humble and recognize the importance of giving back. She is an active philanthropist and has used her platform to support many charities and causes.
Which quote resonated with you best? Did you enjoy our collection of Lily Tomlin quotes? Or may be you have a quotation about Lily Tomlin to suggest. Let us know using our contact form.
About the author
This collection is managed by Quotlr Team, with an extensive background in quote curation. They have meticulously gathered, researched, and compiled the quotes featured on this page. Every quote has been diligently cross-verified for its origin, its authenticity, and its potential influence on our readership.
Feel free to cite and use any of the quotes by Lily Tomlin. For popular citation styles (APA, Chicago, MLA), go to citation page.
Embed HTML Link
Copy and paste this HTML code in your webpage