How come there's only one Monopolies Commission?

— Nigel Rees

The most massive Nigel Rees quotes that are little-known but priceless

Lord Castlerosse was taken to task by Nancy Astor over the size of his stomach.

'What would you say if that was on a woman?' she asked, pointedly. 'Half an hour ago it was,' he replied.

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I was terribly shy and never said anything in class.

Then I started getting into school plays. When you've got words to say, you've got a sort of armour.

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It is part of politics to make things look better than they really are.

What is a spin doctor but a serial euphemiser?

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Euphemism in the workplace does not end with job descriptions.

It reaches a pusillanimous peak at the other end of the work process - in dismissal.

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My job involves searching for 'lost' quotations - that is, trying to find out who came up with a quotable saying that lingers in someone's mind and which they wish to use for their own purpose and which they cannot find in conventional dictionaries of quotation.

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Rees's First Law of Quotations: When in doubt, ascribe all quotations to George Bernard Shaw.

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I was absolutely a non-starter at games.

My report for rugby said, 'Nigel's chief contribution is his presence on the field.' I used to pray for rain and sometimes it did rain - and we played anyway.

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I was broadcast-struck from an early age;

I had saved up for a tape recorder and started making programmes.

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People will say what they want to say, in the way they want to.

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I got into New College, Oxford. The ethos was that you could work - or not.

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I am only too aware that I am open to Rees's Second Law of Quotation: "However sure you are that you have attributed a quotation correctly, an earlier source will be pointed out to you."

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Democracy is too good to share with just anybody.

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About Nigel Rees

Quotes 13 sayings
Nationality British
Profession Author
Birthday October 16
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