When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.— Prince Philip
The most proven Prince Philip quotes you will be delighted to read
During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual.
How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?
Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.
You're just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don't trust me and I don't trust you.
People think there's a rigid class system here, but dukes have been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans.
If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.
The bastards murdered half my family.
In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, in order to contribute something to solve overpopulation.
So you are the people tearing down the Brazilian rainforest and breeding cattle.
A few years ago, everybody was saying we must have more leisure, everyone's working too much. Now everybody's got more leisure time they're complaining they're unemployed. People don't seem to make up their minds what they want.
If you stay here much longer you'll all be slitty-eyed.
A horse which stops dead just before a jump and thus propels its rider into a graceful arc provides a splendid excuse for general merriment.
Wildlife of the world is disappearing, not because of a malicious and deliberate policy of slaughter and extermination, but simply because of a general and widespread ignorance and neglect.
I would like to go to Russia very much — although the bastards murdered half my family.
Change does not change tradition, it strengthens it.
Change is a challenge and anopportunity, not a threat.
I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing.
I don't care what kind it is, just get me a beer.
A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman.
You can't have been here long, you haven't got a pot belly.
We didn't have counsellors rushing around every time somebody let off a gun.
You just got on with it!
I never see any home cooking - all I get is fancy stuff.
For conservation to be successful it is necessary to take into consideration that it is a characteristic of man that he can only be relied upon to do anything consistently which is in his own interest.
Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed.
Human population growth is probably the single most serious long-term threat to survival. We're in for a major disaster if it isn't curbed...We have no option. If it isn't controlled voluntarily, it will be controlled involuntarily by an increase in disease, starvation and war.
It's no use saying do this, do that, don't do that .
.. it's very easy when children want something to say no immediately. I think it's quite important not to give an unequivocal answer at once. Much better to think it over. Then, if you eventually say no, I think they really accept it.
It's a vast waste of space.
It's difficult to see how it's possible to become immensely valuable by singing what are the most hideous songs.
Can you tell the difference between them?
British women can't cook.
The world population 60 years ago was just over 2 billion and it's now more than 6 billion. This huge increase - an explosion really - has probably done more harm to the environment than anything else.
I therefore suggested that WWF should invite leaders from the major religions to meet together to discuss what - if any - responsibility they felt they had for the natural environment as a "sacred" entity.
I must confess that I am interested in leisure in the same way that a poor man is interested in money.
There's a cord sticking out of the back. Might you tell me where it goes?
That's a nice tie... Do you have any knickers in that material?
The man who invented the red carpet needed his head examined.
You're not wearing mink knickers,are you?
I am full of admiration for the technologists who have developed all sorts of gadgets for the purpose of improving communications. However, I believe that all these fascinating machines are complementary to, and not substitutes for, books and the printed word.
If it doesn't fart or eat hay, she isn't interested.
Do you still throw spears at each other?
If you travel as much as we do, you appreciate the improvements in aircraft design of less noise and more comfort - provided you don't travel in something called economy class, which sounds ghastly.
The conservation of nature, the proper care for the human environment and a general concern for the long-term future of the whole of our planet are absolutely vital if future generations are to have a chance to enjoy their existence on this earth.
If anyone has a new idea in this country, there are twice as many people who keep putting a man with a red flag in front of it.
Deaf? If you're near there, no wonder you are deaf.
You look like you're ready for bed!
You managed not to get eaten then?
The biggest waste of water in the country by far. You spend half a pint and flush two gallons.
It is an old cliche to say that the future is in the hands of the young.
This is no longer true. The quality of life to be enjoyed or the existence to be survived by our children and future generations is in our hands now.