If there are no spots on a sugar cube then I’ve just put a dice in my tea.

— Robert Rankin

The most jittery Robert Rankin quotes that will add value to your life

It was joy, joy, happy joy. Happy, happy joy. A big fat smiley sun rose above the rooftops and beamed down its blessings onto the borough known as Brentford.


I know that if I have been working on one paragraph and I have written it three times, it goes in the bin. Unless it comes straight out, it is wrong, it is awkward, it does not fit.


As real as,' said Eddie. 'As real as what?' said Jack. 'Wish I knew,' said Eddie. 'But I can't do corroborative nouns. None of us are perfect, are we? I can get started. As big as, as obscene as, as foul as. But I can't get any further. But that's life for you again. As unfair as...


Because I'm a special gatekeeper. I'm the head gatekeeper. Because, although, as you can see, I'm only a head, I'm also the gatekeeper. Which makes me the head gatekeeper. Which makes me very special, don't you agree?


Science,' said Mr Anders Anders. 'Science, not magic. I told you before: when things are not as they appear to be, it's because they're actually simpler than you think them to be. Things are never as difficult and complicated as folk believe. You'd be surprised just how straightforward and obvious things really are. The secret is in knowing how to look at them the right way.


Oh dear,' said Eddie. 'We'd better hurry. Tinto, call me a cab.' All right,' said Tinto. 'You're a cab.


Everyone misbehaves,' said Eddie. 'That's nature. Everyone gets away with as much as they can get away with. And the more they can get away with, the more they will.


What is believed to be a fact is only a fact until another fact supersedes it.

Science is only a fashion. Nothing more.


Jack, get a grip of yourself.' I have a grip of myself.' Jack took a grip of himself. It was a most intimate grip; not the kind of grip that you usually take of yourself in public.


Have you ever head this theory about drinking yourself sober?' Eddie asked.

'It's a very popular theory. Amongst drunks, anyway.


Now, it's a fact well known to those who know it well that prophets of doom only attain popularity when they get the drinks in all around.


Only if I am going to die, I should prefer to die as I have lived, drunkenly.


About Robert Rankin

Quotes 13 sayings
Profession Novelist
Birthday July 27, 1949