Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.— Stephen Leacock
The most revolutionary Stephen Leacock quotes that are little-known but priceless
Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so.
I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.
A barber is by nature and inclination a sport.
He can tell you at what exact hour the ball game is to begin, can foretell its issue without losing a stroke of the razor, and can explain the points of inferiority of all the players, as compared with the better men that he has personally seen elsewhere, with the nicety of a professional.
Hockey captures the essence of Canadian experience in the New World.
In a land so inescapably and inhospitably cold, hockey is the chance of life, and an affirmation that despite the deathly chill of winter we are alive.
I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.
It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse.
This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.
Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
It may be those who do most, dream most.
He flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
The Compleat Angler is acknowledged to be one of the world's books.
Only the trouble is that the world doesn't read its books, it borrows a detective story instead.
Modern critics, who refuse to let a plain thing alone, have now started a theory that Cervantes's work is a vast piece of "symbolism." If so, Cervantes didn't know it himself and nobody thought of it for three hundred years. He meant it as a satire upon the silly romances of chivalry.
If I were founding a university I would begin with a smoking room;
next a dormitory; and then a decent reading room and a library. After that, if I still had more money that I couldn't use, I would hire a professor and get some text books.
Success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration.
Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative.
The difference is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive, but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it.
A lone maple leaf resting on sand Have you ever been out for a late autumn walk in the closing part of the afternoon, and suddenly looked up to realize that the leaves have practically all gone? And the sun has set and the day gone before you knew it, and with that a cold wind blows across the landscape? That's retirement.
Astronomy teaches the correct use of the sun and the planets.
Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.
With the Great Detective, to think was to act, and to act was to think.
Frequently he could do both together.
Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
We think of the noble object for which the professor appears tonight, we may be assured that the Lord will forgive any one who will laugh at the professor.
The classics are only primitive literature.
They belong to the same class as primitive machinery and primitive music and primitive medicine.
The Lord said 'let there be wheat' and Saskatchewan was born
It is to be observed that 'angling' is the name given to fishing by people who can't fish.
Writing is not hard. Just get paper and pencil, sit down, and write as it occurs to you. The writing is easy-it's the occurring that's hard.
Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.
Writing is no trouble: you just jot down ideas as they occur to you.
The jotting is simplicity itself - it is the occurring which is difficult.
What we call creative work, ought not to be called work at all, because it isn't. I imagine that Thomas Edison never did a day's work in his last fifty years.
Newspapermen learn to call a murderer "an alleged murderer" and the King of England "the alleged King of England" in order to avoid libel suits.
Each section of the British Isles has its own way of laughing, except Wales, which doesn't.
The attempt to make the consumption of beer criminal is as silly and as futile as if you passed a law to send a man to jail for eating cucumber salad.
If every day in the life of a school could be the last day but one, there would be little fault to find with it.
The great man... walks across his century and leaves the marks of his feet all over it, ripping out the dates on his goloshes as he passes.
Humour is essentially a comforter, reconciling us to things as they are in contrast to things as they might be.
It's called political economy because it is has nothing to do with either politics or economy.
Most people can tire of a lecture in fifteen minutes, clever people can do it in five, and sensible people don't go to lectures at all.
Humor may be defined as the kindly contemplation of the incongruities of life, and the artistic expression thereof.
Life, we learn too late, is in the living, the tissue of every day and hour.
There is an old motto that runs, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
" This is nonsense. It ought to read, "If at first you don't succeed, quit, quit at once."
The tears of childhood fall fast and easily, and evil be to him who makes them flow.
I owe a lot to my teachers and mean to pay them back some day.
You frequently ask, where are the friends of your childhood, and urge that they shall be brought back to you. As far as I am able to learn, those of your friends who are not in jail are still right there in your native village. You point out that they were wont to share your gambols, If so, you are certainly entitled to have theirs now.
The Victorians needed parody. Without it their literature would have been a rank and weedy growth, over-watered with tears.
I've seen lifelong friends drift apart over golf just because one could play better, but the other counted better.
In point of morals, the average woman is, even for business, too crooked.
Too much has been said of the heroes of history-the strong men, the troublesome men; too little of the amiable, the kindly, the tolerant.
The English are terribly lazy about fighting.
They like to get it over and done with and then set up a game of cricket.
To write well it is first necessary to have something to say.
You can never have international peace as long as you have national poverty.