Adam Sandler Quotes That Are funny, charismatic and versatile

Doing Saturday Night Live definitely affects my relationship with my girlfriend and with my family, because you feel so much pressure to do well that night. But I think everyone's grown to accept that and so they give me my space at the show.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing.

Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah, drink your gin and tonica.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I'm getting a little older.

I see now that I'm taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Well I have a microphone and you don't so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!

We just bought this house. It's too big. It's like 400,000 square feet, or something. We got an indoor lake and ski slope in the house! It's just too big.

I'm not great at bedtime stories. Bedtime stories are supposed to put the kid to sleep. My kid gets riled up and then my wife has to come in and go, 'All right! Get out of the room.'

My buddies, we've always just tried to make each other laugh.

I mean, just like all friends hanging out - that's the goal.

Mama says that, happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you're feeling blue.

I do love the films I've done in the past.

I work hard in my movies and my friends work hard and we're trying to make people laugh and I'm very proud of that.

The Canteen Boy, the reason you feel bad for him and you can laugh is because he, and I guess a lot of my characters, they don't notice they're getting made fun of. So they'll say something back that's not that great a quip, but in their mind they won the argument.

I sang a song at my sister's wedding.

My mother forced me into that, too. But that one felt all right.

I had my moments of being humiliated, and then I had moments of doing something humiliating. I'm glad I lived out both roles.

Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.

It definitely has learning a lesson about the way you're living your life.

I wouldn't compare our movie to that, but it has a structure where it's about a man who doesn't appreciate all that he has and finds out at the end that life has been great and he has to enjoy that.

I'm in a mood, Dave. A bad mood, a very bad mood! I was fired from my ice cream truck job today! No more Fudgicles!

I was just a young guy who was excited to become a comedian and an actor and I just wanted to get to do what I got to do.

When I was younger and did a stand-up gig, it would take me two weeks to recover. Sometimes I'd get so panicked that I would stutter.

Never seen my friends do more push-ups, trying to challenge Cruises' manhood.

It was like, I can be strong, too!

My name is Adam. My father's name is Adam. Having the same name as your father, it's alright until your voice changes. My friends would always call up, 'Is Adam there?' My father would say, 'This is Adam.' My friends would say, 'Adam, you were so wasted last night.'

I finished a big book the other day. 421 pages. That's a lot of coloring when you think about it.

I say things, like every other parent, that reminds you of your own parents. One thing I do know about being a parent, you understand why your father was in a bad mood a lot.

I'm a big fan of money. I like it, I use it, I have a little. I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator. I'd like to put more in that jar. That's where you come in.

Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire!

I mean, I look at my dad. He was twenty when he started having a family, and he was always the coolest dad. He did everything for his kids, and he never made us feel like he was pressured. I know that it must be a great feeling to be a guy like that.

I don't know what drives me to succeed. I know I want to always do the best I can.I guess I was maybe in little league baseball as far as I wanted to be good at that. But school, I certainly wasn't the best at that.

I think the reason I don't read is because, when I'm reading, I feel like I'm missing out on something else. You know, What are my friends doing? Where's my girlfriend?

I don't like being out in public too much. I don't like going to bars. I don't like doing celebrity stuff.

Well, we're living in a material world, and I'm a material girl... or boy.

I don't like being on a horse. That's the only negative of doing a Western. I like the whole get up, and I look great in a hat. But I get tense around horses. So, if they could make a fake horse, then I'd do a Western.

Having a kid is great... as long as his eyes are closed and he's not moving or speaking.

Now that I'm a parent, I understand why my father was in a bad mood a lot.

I've always just had troubles with my family because I'm psychotic. It had nothing to do with that.

I shouldn't be near Vegas and have money in my pocket.

This character feels so much like my brother. He has two children. He has a wife. He works with me. He chooses to stay in New Hampshire because he wants his kids to grow up in the school they started with. He doesn't want them to lose friends. He is his family's hero.

You know, when you don't go on TV and talk about how many women you sleep with, some people in Hollywood, that are supposedly 'in the know,' start whispering that you're gay. If I were gay, I wouldn't be ashamed to admit it, but I'm not.

I wasn't a kid growing up thinking, 'One day I'll get an Oscar and make a speech.' That wasn't on my mind.

He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?

Wrap the turkey up In aluminum foil My brother likes to masturbate With baby oil.

How do I speak Spanish? Not too well. Paz taught me a few words that, if people weren't nice to me, I could tell them a few things. I got to study with [chef] Thomas Keller, who we all love as a guy and Jim had a relationship with him at [his restaurant] the French Laundry.

My kids don't have a trust fund, they have a debt fund. And when I die, they're $4 million in the hole.

Comedy, such a lovely lady, she'll pick you up, you your feeling blue.

I don't think about that. I wasn't a kid growing up saying one day I'll get an Oscar and make a speech. That wasn't on my mind. So what I do is the best work I can do.

I don't laugh at me. I used to. I used to get the giggles when I'd see myself. But now, I see myself onscreen, and I sure don't laugh.

I'm pretty hot, right? Very hot, if I may say so myself. Don't you feel the sex I'm radiating?

Bedtime stories were definitely a big part of my life because I was just so excited my father was talking to me.

I prefer musicals, because I am the best dancer who ever lived. The best plies, the best sashays, and by far the best-smelling Capezios.