110+ Daniel Handler Quotes On Friendship, Happiness And Order

Daniel Handler is an American author, best known for his series of children's novels, A Series of Unfortunate Events, under the pen name Lemony Snicket. He is also the author of the adult novel, Why We Broke Up, and has written several other novels, short stories, and screenplays. Handler is also a musician and songwriter, performing with the band The Magnetic Fields. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Daniel Handler on love, friendship, happiness.

Top 10 Daniel Handler Quotes

1. Anyone who gives you a cinnamon roll fresh out of the oven is a friend for life.
2. Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.
3. Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.
4. Friends can make you feel that the world is smaller and less sneaky than it really is, because you know people who have similar experiences.
5. I didn't realize this was a sad occasion.
6. They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.
7. Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby - awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.
8. Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.
9. Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.
10. Miracles are like pimples, because once you start looking for them you find more than you ever dreamed you'd see.

Daniel Handler Short Quotes

• Accidents happen all the time.
• If we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives.
• They looked at each other like a pair of parentheses.
• Make sure you have your own mask on, before helping others with theirs.
• I’d ruin any day, all my days, for those long nights with you, and I did.
• He who hesitates is lost
• When do you learn that the world, like any diner worth its salt, is open twenty-four hours a day?
• Sometimes the things you’ve lost can be found again in unexpected places.
• The key to good eavesdropping is not getting caught.
• I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.

Daniel Handler Quotes About Love

They say love's like a bus, and if you wait long enough another one will come along, but not in this place where the buses are slow and most of the cute ones are gay. — Daniel Handler

I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms. — Daniel Handler

I stand entwined in fire on the inextinguishable bonfire of inconceivable love. — Daniel Handler

Every last souvenir of the love we had, the prizes & the debris of this relationship, like the glitter in the gutter when the parade has passed, all the everything & whatnot kicked to the curb. — Daniel Handler

Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them. — Daniel Handler

Love can smack you like a seagull, and pour all over your feet like junk mail. — Daniel Handler

But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby. — Daniel Handler

Instead of the word 'love' there was an enormous heart, a symbol sometimes used by people who have trouble figuring out the difference between words and shapes. — Daniel Handler

I love no one but you, I have discovered, but you are far away and I am here alone. — Daniel Handler

If you have ever lost a loved one, then you know exactly how it feels. And if you have not, then you cannot possibly imagine it. — Daniel Handler

Daniel Handler Quotes About Happiness

One can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways. — Daniel Handler

The idea that the curtain rises on what is often more or less a happy scene, and it will fall just a few hours later, and everyone will be dead or have gone mad... I find that kind of narrative very appealing. — Daniel Handler

I was too jitterbuggy happy to sleep, and the whole day kept playing in my brain's little screening room. — Daniel Handler

If you enjoy books with happy endings than you are better off reading some other book. — Daniel Handler

In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle. — Daniel Handler

I was stupid, the official descriptive phrase for happy. — Daniel Handler

It is almost as if happiness is an acquired taste, like coconut cordial or ceviche, to which you can eventually become accustomed, but despair is something surprising each time you encounter it. — Daniel Handler

If you like books with happy endings then put this book down immediately. — Daniel Handler

Making you happy isn't making me happy. — Daniel Handler

Daniel Handler Quotes About Unfortunate Events

At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey. — Daniel Handler

Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so. — Daniel Handler

Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like. — Daniel Handler

The sad truth is the truth is sad. — Daniel Handler

You know, there's a big world out there filled with desperate orphans who would gladly swim across an ocean of thumbtacks just to be eclipsed by the long shadow that is cast by my accomplishments. — Daniel Handler

Beef. Yes. Roast beef. It's the Swedish term for beef that is roasted. — Daniel Handler

People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict. — Daniel Handler

I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong. — Daniel Handler

and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey. — Daniel Handler

Sooner or later, everyone's story has an unfortunate event or two...The solution, of course, is to stay as far away from the world as possible and lead a safe, simple life. — Daniel Handler

Daniel Handler Famous Quotes And Sayings

People worry more about girls, for a good reason: I don't think my parents thought I was going to be raped by a classmate or attacked when I was walking alone in some neighborhood. So it's not just paranoid parents. — Daniel Handler

It was darker than a pitch-black panther, covered in tar, eating black licorice at the very bottom of the deepest part of the Black Sea. — Daniel Handler

Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have. — Daniel Handler

Here we are at the bottom, almost empty. It's like confetti, these dried remnants you find in the street for a party no one invited you to. But they used to be, I can admit, part of something beautiful. — Daniel Handler

Someone feeling wronged is like someone feeling thirsty. Don’t tell them they aren’t. Sit with them and have a drink. — Daniel Handler

Oftentimes. when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps. — Daniel Handler

If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats. — Daniel Handler

the table of elements does not contain one of the most powerful elements that make up our world, and that is the element of surprise. — Daniel Handler

Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make - bombs, for instance, or strawberry shortcake - if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble. — Daniel Handler

Goodness! Golly! Good God! Blessed Allah! Zeus and Hera! Mary and Joseph! Nathaniel Hawthorne! Don't touch her! Grab her! Move closer! Run away! Don't move! Kill the snake! Leave it alone! Give it some food! Don't let it bite her! Lure the snake away! Here, snakey! Here, snakey snakey! — Daniel Handler

Wishing, like sipping a glass of punch, or pulling aside a bearskin rug in order to access a hidden trapdoor in the floor, is merely a quiet way to spend one's time before the candles are extinguished on one's birthday cake. — Daniel Handler

He looked like the sort of person who would tell you that he did not have an umbrella to lend you when he actually had several and simply wanted to see you get soaked. — Daniel Handler

There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't. — Daniel Handler

There is nothing particularly wrong with salmon, of course, but like caramel candy, strawberry yogurt, or liquid carpet cleaner, if you eat too much of it you are not going to enjoy your meal. — Daniel Handler

There are two good reasons to put your napkin in your lap. One is that food might spill in your lap, and it is better to stain the napkin than your clothing. The other is that it can serve as a perfect hiding place. Practically nobody is nosey enough to take the napkin off a lap to see what is hidden there. — Daniel Handler

My chauffer once told me that I would feel better in the morning, but when I woke up the two of us were still on a tiny island surrounded by man-eating crocodiles, and, as I'm sure you can understand, I didn't feel any better about it. — Daniel Handler

...everyone was right about you- prove them wrong. — Daniel Handler

Besides getting several paper cuts in the same day or receiving the news that someone in your family has betrayed you to your enemies, one of the most unpleasant experiences in life is a job interview. — Daniel Handler

It is useless for me to describe to you how terrible Violet, Klaus, and even Sunny felt in the time that followed. If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels, and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it. — Daniel Handler

It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches. — Daniel Handler

There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself. — Daniel Handler

When you start reading nonfiction books about piracy, you realize that it's actually just a history of desperate people. — Daniel Handler

I often can't remember which scenes are and aren't in the final product, because I saw so many different versions of the Lemony Snicket that I forget which ended up on the cutting-room floor. — Daniel Handler

The miracle is the adverbs, the way things are done. — Daniel Handler

You’re just jealous of me because I’m a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian! — Daniel Handler

Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. Piracy, for example, is a tradition that has been carried on for hundreds of years, but that doesn't mean we should all attack ships and steal their gold. — Daniel Handler

It is very frustrating not to be understood in this world. If you say one thing and keep being told that you mean something else, it can make you want to scream. But somewhere in the world there is a place for all of us, whether you are an electric form of decoration, peppermint-scented sweet, a source of timber, or a potato pancake. — Daniel Handler

Fetching objects for people who are too lazy to fetch them for themselves is never a pleasant task, particularly when the people are insulting you. — Daniel Handler

Of course I'm trying to trick you! That's the way of the world, Baudelaires. Everyone runs around with their secrets and their schemes, trying to outwit everyone else. — Daniel Handler

Announcing your death should be like announcing that you are a lunar moth: It must be done quietly or it will not be believed. — Daniel Handler

It is terribly rude to tell people that their troubles are boring. — Daniel Handler

They were almond cookies, although they could have been made of spinach and shoes for all I cared. I ate eleven of them, right in a row. It is rude to take the last cookie. — Daniel Handler

When you say, "History is written by the winners," you like to think about someone who isn't you. You want to think, "Oh, that's the juggernaut I'm standing against." But you're probably part of it. — Daniel Handler

The world is quiet here. — Daniel Handler

The book was long, and difficult to read, and Klaus became more and more tired as the night wore on. Occasionally his eyes would close. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. — Daniel Handler

Why haven't we fixed sick yet? You scientists there-- put down those starfish and HELP us. I hereby demand that all the people who are good at math make the world free of illness. The rest of us will write you epic poems and staple them together into a booklet. — Daniel Handler

Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. — Daniel Handler

Just because something is typed-whether it is typed on a business card or typed in a newspaper or book-this does not mean that it is true. — Daniel Handler

...you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit. — Daniel Handler

If you have ever slept in a covered casserole dish on the highest peak of a mountain range, then you know that it is an uncomfortable place to lay one's head, even if you find a dish towel inside it that can serve as a blanket. — Daniel Handler

I'm not very good at the accordion. If I played guitar, I wouldn't be on anyone's album. But because I play the accordion and no one else does, I end up doing strange things. — Daniel Handler

The last safe place is safe no more. — Daniel Handler

Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us, and glimpsed the follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would all stay in our mother's wombs, and then there would be nobody in the world but a great number of very fat, very irritated women. — Daniel Handler

Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree, because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch, or you might simply get covered in sap, and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors, where it is harder to get a splinter. — Daniel Handler

It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier. — Daniel Handler

Blank paper has always inspired me. — Daniel Handler

A passport, as I'm sure you know, is a document that one shows to government officials whenever one reaches a border between two countries, so that the official can learn who you are, where you were born, and how you look when photographed unflatteringly. — Daniel Handler

Is it fair for the bears to come down to where humans live, looking for food? Is it fair for the Duke's soldiers to shoot at them? Is it fair for the bears to crush them with giant snowballs? Often, if you point out something that isn't fair, someone will reply, "Life isn't fair." What is to be done with such people? — Daniel Handler

There are two types of panicking: standing still and not saying a word, and leaping all over the place babbling anything that comes into your head. — Daniel Handler

If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed," but most of us would say something more along the lines of, "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!" — Daniel Handler

A newspaper, as I'm sure you know, is a collection of supposedly true stories written down by writers who either saw them happen or talked to people who did. These writers are called journalists, and like telephone operators, butchers, ballerinas, and people who clean up after horses, journalists can sometimes make mistakes. — Daniel Handler

If you are a student you should always get a good nights sleep unless you have come to the good part of your book, and then you should stay up all night and let your schoolwork fall by the wayside, a phrase which means 'flunk'. — Daniel Handler

Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily. — Daniel Handler

Dead women tell no tales. Sad men write them down. — Daniel Handler

I love no one but you, I have discovered, but you are far away and I am here alone. Then this is my life and maybe, however unlikely, I'll find my way back there. Or maybe, one day, I'll settle for second best. And on that same day, hell will freeze over, the sun will burn out and the stars will fall from the sky. — Daniel Handler

I think pirates, like astronauts, particularly for a boy, are always kind of worth thinking about. — Daniel Handler

Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something — Daniel Handler

Unless you have been very, very lucky, you have undoubtedly experienced events in your life that have made you cry. So unless you have been very, very lucky, you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit. — Daniel Handler

For Beatrice, when we first met, I was lonely, and you were pretty. Now I am pretty lonely. — Daniel Handler

Criminals should be punished, not fed pastries. — Daniel Handler

A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking books off the shelves and staying up late reading them. — Daniel Handler

There are those who say that life is like a book, with chapters for each event in your life and a limited number of pages on which you can spend your time. But I prefer to think that a book is like a life, particularly a good one, which is well to worth staying up all night to finish. — Daniel Handler

For Beatrice, summer without you is as cold as winter. Winter without you, is even colder. — Daniel Handler

When I was researching my very first novel, "The Basic Eight," I was calling right-wing political and religious organizations and asking them to mail me their material so that I could mock them in my novels. — Daniel Handler

What happens in a certain place can stain your feelings for that location, just as ink can stain a white sheet. — Daniel Handler

This story is about the Baudelaires. And they are the sort of people who know that there’s always something. Something to invent, something to read, something to bite, and something to do, to make a sanctuary, no matter how small. And for this reason, I am happy to say, the Baudelaires were very fortunate indeed. — Daniel Handler

Twenty-six,” you said. “One for each day we’ve been together, Min.”Somebody oohed. Somebody shushed them. “And I hope that someday I’ll do another something stupid and I’ll have to say it a million times because that’s how long it’ll be, together with you, Min. With you. — Daniel Handler

There are few sights sadder than a ruined book. — Daniel Handler

Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation. — Daniel Handler

Life Lessons by Daniel Handler

1. Daniel Handler's work emphasizes the importance of embracing the quirks and complexities of life in order to find joy and fulfillment.
2. He also encourages readers to take risks and be open to new experiences, as well as to look at the world with a sense of humor and optimism.
3. Finally, Handler's work teaches us to be kind to ourselves and others, and to never give up on our dreams and passions.