Depression is when you have lots of love, but no one's taking.— Doug Coupland
The most pioneering Doug Coupland quotes that are glad to read
Blame is just a lazy person's way of making sense of chaos.
You can't fake creativity, competence, or sexual arousal.
Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.
There's much to be said for feeling numb.
Time passes more quickly. You eat less, and because numbness encourages laziness, you do fewer things, good or bad, and the world's probably a better place for it.
Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without.
Eagles are seagulls with a good hairdo.
Big companies are like marching bands.
Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them.
If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure.
Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code?
When we constantly ask for miracles, we're unraveling the fabric of the world.
A world of continuous miracles would not be a world, it would be a cartoon.
Cloning is great. If God made the original, then making copies should be fine.
One of the cruelest things you can do to another person is pretend you care about them more than you really do.
Brain research tells us that only twenty percent of human beings have a sense of irony, which means that eighty percent of the world takes everything at face value.
Earth was not built for six billion people all running around and being passionate about things. The world was built for about two million people foraging for roots and grubs.
You can't get mad at weather because weather's not about you. Apply that lesson to most other aspects of life.
When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture.
The time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself.
Sometimes the best lighting of all is a power failure.
Royalty is either going to do very well with cloning, or it's going to disappear completely.
Your body isn't just a body. It's an ecosystem.
When Donald Duck traded his wings for arms, was he trading up or trading down?
Try not thinking of peeling an orange.
Try not imagining the juice running down your fingers, the soft inner part of the peel. The smell. Try and you can't. The brain doesn't process negatives.
Adventure without risk is Disneyland.
New York is a theme park for people with IQs over 108.
Human beings are the only animal that thinks they change who they are simply by moving to a different place. Birds migrate, but it's not quite the same thing.
Make your goals big and broad enough so that they never become answered prayers and boomerang to curse you.
Every single moment is a coincidence.
Florida isn't so much a place where one goes to reinvent oneself, as it is a place where one goes if one no longer wished to be found.
You wait for fate to bring about the changes in life which you should be bringing about by yourself.
Figure out what it is in life you don't do well, and then don't do it.
We're rapidly approaching a world comprised entirely of jail and shopping.
Where does personality end and brain damage begin?
Most of us have only two or three genuinely interesting moments in our lives; the rest is filler.
If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween.
Sometimes failure isn't an opportunity in disguise, it's just you.
Good-looking people with strong, fluoridated teeth get things handed to them on platters.
Unhappiness is something we are never taught about;
we are taught to expect happiness, but never a Plan B to use to use when the happiness doesn't arrive.
Salad bars are like a restaurant's lungs.
They soak up the impurities and bacteria in the environment, leaving you with much cleaner air to enjoy.
Forget about being world famous, it's hard enough just getting the automatic doors at the supermarket to acknowledge our existence.
If you're not a tree hugger, then you're a what, a tree hater?
A ring is a halo on your finger.
There's a lot to be said for having a small manageable dream.
You can only fall in love six times in your life. Choose wisely.
The person who needs the other person the least in a relationship is the stronger member.
Being asked what animal you'd like to be is a trick question; you're already an animal.
Nothing very very good and nothing very very bad ever lasts for very very long.
A bland smile is like a green light at an intersection, it feels good when you get one, but you forget it the moment you're past it.
Too much free time is certainly a monkey's paw in disguise.
Most people can't handle a structureless life.
If I think too much about all of those Chinese factories where all the stuff in a Wal-Mart is made, I get that woozy feeling you get when you see ducks covered in crude oil.