110+ Eoin Colfer Quotes On Education, Order And Anor Thing

Eoin Colfer is an Irish author best known for his children's fantasy series, Artemis Fowl. He has also written several other books for children and young adults, as well as a number of adult novels. He is also a playwright, and has written several plays for both adults and children. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Eoin Colfer on education, life, love.

Top 10 Eoin Colfer Quotes

1. I don't like lollipops.
2. Artemis Fowl will never be secondary." "I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?" said Holly.
3. Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without use of his armoury. Though I'm sure one would be quite sufficient.
4. Butler was seeing the world as it was, complete with L.E.P retrival team
5. Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told. --Artemis Fowl
6. Either that boy is the sanest creature on Earth, he thought, or he is so disturbed that our tests cannot even begin to scratch the surface.
7. Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?" Artemis blinked. "Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.
8. I hear that you were on a date with Trouble Kelp. Are you two planning on building a bivouac any time soon?
9. I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.
10. It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.

Eoin Colfer Short Quotes

• A CD. How quaint. We have these in museums.
• Together we will be unstoppable.
• Im riding a troll! i was born to do this,and steal stuff, and EAT LOADS!
• Hit that back-stabber where it hurts, right in the ambition.
• A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old.
• The Theory of Evolution has more holes in it than a dam made out of Swiss cheese.
• Remember the pain?' thought Artemis. I hate myself. I really do.
• Other men look up and down, left and right; but men like us are different. We are visionaries.
• Radomosity, thought Artemis. And he felt like weeping.
• But even though there were plenty of teeth in the grin, there was no heart.

Eoin Colfer Quotes About Life

There is no such thing as a happy ending. Every culture has a maxim that makes this point, while nowhere in the Universe is there a single gravestone that reads 'He Loved Everything About His Life, Especially the Dying Bit at the End'. — Eoin Colfer

(to Foaly) Captain Short's life is in danger, so push the button before I climb that tower and push it with your face! — Eoin Colfer

Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist, and that I am not a gibbering moron. — Eoin Colfer

'Insanity... I like it." — Eoin Colfer

Genius inspires resentment. A sad fact of life. — Eoin Colfer

Sometimes plans don't translate smoothly from paper to real life. — Eoin Colfer

When you've come face-to-face with the dark side of the school yard, life doesn't hold many surprises. — Eoin Colfer

Hey, if you can't remember, don't worry about it. I'm having a few memory problems myself in this place. Little things like how long I've been here, what my purpose in life is, which feet to put my shoes on. Stuff like that. — Eoin Colfer

Eoin Colfer Quotes About Order

No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the children's menu. I have no doubt that the children's menu itself tastes better than the meals on it. I would like to order à la carte. Or don't you serve fish to minors? — Eoin Colfer

That's the last order I'll ever give you Captain. Don't you dare ignore it. — Eoin Colfer

Quickly, Holly," said Artemis urgently. "Follow those bubbles." Holly opened the throttle. "Now there's an order I never thought I'd hear from you. — Eoin Colfer

I'm LEP. A captain. No rent-a-cop gnome is going to stand in the way of my orders. — Eoin Colfer

Eoin Colfer Quotes About Holly-short

Ah, my princess. Noble steed. How does the morning find you both? — Eoin Colfer

I'm the crazy girly captain, Remember? — Eoin Colfer

Holly frowned at her. "Glad to see you've forgiven yourself so quickly." "Harboring feelings of guilt can have a negative affect on mental health." "Child geniuses," growled Holly. "Genii," said Minerva. — Eoin Colfer

Friendship isn't a science mudboy. Just do what you think is right. — Eoin Colfer

HOLLY: Are you suggesting I occasionally stray from the rule book? FOALY: No. I'm suggesting you do not own a copy of the rule book, and if you do, you have certainly never opened it. — Eoin Colfer

I'm not threatening you. I'm just informing you of police procedure. If you continue to obstruct me, I remove the obstruction, in this case you, and proceed to the next command. — Eoin Colfer

Eoin Colfer Quotes About Artemis-fowl

If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm crazy. That's the way history is written. — Eoin Colfer

Stay back, human. You don't know what you're dealing with. — Eoin Colfer

Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know. — Eoin Colfer

Shut up, Julius! I mean, quiet a moment, Commander. — Eoin Colfer

Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't. — Eoin Colfer

Foaly: Anyone see you come in here? Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB. Foaly: The EIB? Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building. — Eoin Colfer

Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares! — Eoin Colfer

Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on. — Eoin Colfer

Certainly, Doctor. Let's talk about your chair. Victorian? — Eoin Colfer

I'm right there with you, darlin'. Unless you step on a landmine, in which case I'm way back in the Operations Room. — Eoin Colfer

Eoin Colfer Quotes About Butler

There were only two men on the planet better educated in the various martial arts than Butler, and he was related to one of them. The other lived on an island in the South China Sea, and spent his days meditating and beating up palm trees. You had to feel sorry for the B'wa Kell. — Eoin Colfer

I am unarmed. But Butler here, my ...ah...butler, has a Sig Saucer in his shoulder holster, two shrike-throwing knives in his boots, aderringer two-shot up his sleeve, garrotte wire in his watch, and three stun greanades concealed in variouse pockets. Anything else, Butler? — Eoin Colfer

Anything else, Butler?" "The cosh, sir. — Eoin Colfer

Wait," said Butler. "Just wait, Holly. Artemis has a plan." He squinted through the green dome. "What is your plan, Artemis?" All Artemis could do was smile and shrug. — Eoin Colfer

Butler,” he called, his voice thin and childlike in the wind. “Yes, Artemis, what?” “If something goes wrong, wait for me. No matter how it looks, I will return. I will bring them all back. — Eoin Colfer

I am Butler. Anything I say sounds scary. — Eoin Colfer

...This is the only way. I will not allow humans or fairies to die when I might have prevented it.” Butler would not give up. “Listen to yourself. You sound like a... like a good guy! There’s nothing in this for you. — Eoin Colfer

We lost the crickets," she said. "Even you can't make that sound tough." ..."I am Butler," he said with a straight-face. "Everything I say sounds tough. Now, get out of the lake, fairy. — Eoin Colfer

Eoin Colfer Quotes About Planning

In my experience, boys are predictable. As soon as they think of something, they do it. Girls are smarter—they plan ahead. They think about not getting caught. — Eoin Colfer

I can't imagine what they're planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it, and it won't be legal. — Eoin Colfer

How did that go?’ he asked. ‘Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age?’ ‘Fabulous,’ said Artemis, voice dripping with sarcasm. ‘We’re planning a June wedding. — Eoin Colfer

Chaos reigned, and the survivalists eagerly unwrapped the kidskin from their crossbows. Phase one of Opal's plan was complete. — Eoin Colfer

He took a deep, shuddering breath. "Okay. I said it, it's out there. And I am fine now. So let's move on, shall we? What's the plan? — Eoin Colfer

Holly, do you trust me?” Holly groaned. “Artemis, don’t ask me that. I just know one of your outrageous plans is coming.” “Do you trust me?” “Yes,” Holly sighed. “I do. More than anyone. — Eoin Colfer

Eoin Colfer Famous Quotes And Sayings

And one more thing. About my name — Artemis — you were right. In London, it is generally a female name, after the Greek goddess of archery. But every now and then a male comes along with such a talent for hunting that he earns the right to use the name. I am that male. Artemis the hunter. I hunted you. — Eoin Colfer

Let's save some time here. I grow weary of your clumsy bluffs. In the case of an abduction, the LEP will send a crack Retrieval team to get back what has been lost.. You have done so. Excuse me while I titter. Crack team? Honestly. A Cub-Scout patrol armed with water pistols could have defeated them. — Eoin Colfer

This was a nightmare scenario for any bodyguard: stuck in the middle of a transparent tube, several miles underwater, with a murdering band of fugitives at one end and an enthralled but still highly skilled police officer at the other. — Eoin Colfer

I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal. — Eoin Colfer

Oh, I'm crazy all right. I do have plenty of psychoses. Multiple personality, delusional dementia, OCD. I've got them all, but most of all, I'm crazy about you. — Eoin Colfer

He threw his head back and sang, "'I am a centaur, yes, a centaur is what I am.' It's not like you to wax, Artemis" "Foaly is singing," said Holly. "Surely that's illegal? — Eoin Colfer

Stupid. Stupid. Foaly, we are both imbeciles. I don't expect lateral thinking from the LEP, but from you..." ... "What is it?" [Holly] asked, afraid of the answer, which must surely be terrible. "Yeah," agreed Foaly, who always had time to feel insulted. "Why am I an imbecile? — Eoin Colfer

If Elmore Leonard met Jim Thompson down a dark alley at midnight they might emerge a week later with thick beards, bloodshot eyes and the manuscript for THE BIG O. — Eoin Colfer

Orion brightened. "I have an idea." "Yes?" said Foaly, daring to hope that a spark of Artemis remained. "Why don't we look for some magic stones that can grant wishes? Or, if that doesn't work, you could search my naked body for some mysterious birthmark that means I am actually the prince of somewhere or other. — Eoin Colfer

Don't try to understand me, just be grateful that you felt the warmth of Zaphod Beeblebrox's aura on your wonderstruck face. — Eoin Colfer

Holly walked rapidly into the cockpit, strapping herself into the pilot's chair. "Seven and a half hours to save the world. Isn’t there some law that says we get at least twenty-four?" Artemis strapped himself into the co-pilot's chair. "I don't think Opal bothers with laws. — Eoin Colfer

I have no time for babbling foolishness.” “Don’t be so hasty,” said Victor. “There’s always time for babbling. — Eoin Colfer

Who are you?" he asked. I am the future queen of this world, at the very least. You may refer to me as Mistress Koboi for the next five minutes. After that you may refer to me as Aaaaarrrrgh, hold your throat, die screaming, and so on. — Eoin Colfer

If Koboi defeats and presumably murders us both then you can consider the debt null and void. — Eoin Colfer

Who or what inspires you?" "I must admit that I often read my own articles in scientific journals and inspire myself. — Eoin Colfer

Hey, look your girlfriend is saying something. Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn't even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl? — Eoin Colfer

Of course. Opal is toying with our emotions for her own gratification. Nothing more. She wishes to place herself in a position of power, emotionally. — Eoin Colfer

I waved my hand in front of my face, obi-wan style. "I am not here." Niall's mucas glands kicked into overdrive. "Eoin's dead! And his ghost is standing right there on the grass!" Donal let out a long suffering sigh. "Eoin is being a writer." Niall calmed down, becuase everyone knows writers are weird and are always doing stupid thingss. — Eoin Colfer

Don't you worry about that, Mr. Adamsson. Why don't you head back to Reykjavik and spend some of that extortionate fee you charged me for a couple of hours' usage of your frankly third-rate restaurant and perhaps find a friendless tree stump to listen to your woes? — Eoin Colfer

(about his terrible attempt at making a sandwich) It's more difficult than it looks. (Artemis Fowl) — Eoin Colfer

Trust me. I haven't been wrong yet. — Eoin Colfer

I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender? — Eoin Colfer

There will be consequences for this, he thought. You can't alter time and not be affected. But whatever the consequences are, I will bear them, because the alternative is too terrible. -Artemis Fowl, The Lost Colony — Eoin Colfer

Play along, the wink said. I'll get you out of this. At least Artemis hoped this was what his wink communicated and not something like 'Any chance of another kiss later? — Eoin Colfer

Control puberty?" snorted the bodyguard."If you manage that, you'll be the first. — Eoin Colfer

The problem is that I know the textbook answers to any question you care to ask. — Eoin Colfer

Sounded like girls. Mixed feelings on that score. He didn't despise them with the same passion he used to. In fact, Benny suspected that there would come a time in the not-too-distant future when he might develop a mysterious interest in them. — Eoin Colfer

I can grow cameras!" she had shrieked at the Brill brothers during one briefing. "Who's to say that despicable centaur Foaly hasn't succeded in splicing surveillance equiptment to plants? So get rid of all the flowers. Rocks, too. I don't trust them. Sullen little blebers. — Eoin Colfer

Waitress: "And to drink?" Artemis: "Spring water. Irish, if you have it. And no ice, please. As your ice is no doubt made from tap water, which rather defeats the purpose of spring water. — Eoin Colfer

...to be injured on this tundra would lead to a quick and painful death—or at the very least abject humiliation before the popping flashes of the tourist season's tail end, which was slightly less painful than a painful death, but lasted longer. — Eoin Colfer

Artemis: I am not buoyed by that. Foaly: You are not supposed to be buoyed by that. You are supposed to be equalized. Mulch: I'm pretty sure that both of you just made really horrible jokes. But I'm not sure because I think you broke my funny bone. — Eoin Colfer

Artemis turned and stared at his friend with the blue eyes. Holly was staring back, and she was smiling. “I remember,” she said aloud. “You saved me.” Artemis smiled back. “It never happened,” he said. — Eoin Colfer

We're being lead by an idiot with a crayon. — Eoin Colfer

I did what all good Iriah dads do when faced with a worthy adversary..I said Ask your mother!! — Eoin Colfer

Artemis: (shocked) Why, Doctor? This is a sensitive area. For all you know I could be suffering from depression. Doctor Po: I suppose you could. Is that the case? Artemis: (head in hands) It's my mother, Doctor. Doctor Po: Yes? Artemis: My mother, she... Doctor Po: Your mother, yes? Artemis: She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy when the school's so-called counsellors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees. — Eoin Colfer

Why can't I solve this problem by killing someone? she though petulantly, then comforted herself with the mantra that had kept her going in prison: "Soon all the humans will be dead," she said, droning in the time-honored fashion of gurus everywhere. "And then Opal will be loved." And even if I'm not loved, she thought, at least all the humans will be dead. — Eoin Colfer

Artemis Fowl grinned right back at him and pointed his index finger to the sky... from the tip of this finger sprang a small blue spark that exploded like a tiny firework. “I know magic can be stolen,” said Artemis. “Because I stole some myself. — Eoin Colfer

Chief of security : They have a tank! How did they get a tank up here? — Eoin Colfer

The miracle of modern science. The LEP pours millions into your department, Foaly, and all you can do is send Mud Boys to the toilet. — Eoin Colfer

Miss me? Bet you did ... so would I. — Eoin Colfer

The humans were protecting their heritage, or so they thought. Strange that Mud Men seem more concerned about the past than the present. — Eoin Colfer

Onscreen, Foaly rubbed his eyelids with his index fingers. "Yeah, yeah. Here we go. Captain Short goes rogue once more. Hands up who's surprised. Anyone? — Eoin Colfer

I am perhaps unusual in that I came to 'Doctor Who' through the numerous novelisations and not through the television show. — Eoin Colfer

People are afraid of you, Arty. Girls are terrified of you. You’re a fifteen-year-old in a bespoke suit, and nobody died. — Eoin Colfer

Yes, Chix, it's between us. Everyone has a right to be temporarily unstable. - Foaly — Eoin Colfer

Inside the mirrored elevator, Mulch used a telescopic pointer to push P for the penthouse. For the first few months he had jumped to reach the button, but that was undignified behavior for a millionaire. And besides, he was certain that Art could hear the thumping from the security desk. — Eoin Colfer

Caballine likes me to be masterful. She calls me her stallion. — Eoin Colfer

Orion nodded, then asked, “Dwarf cheese?” “Cheese made by dwarfs.” “Oh,” said Orion, relieved. “They make it. It’s not actually . . .” “No. What a horrible thought.” “Exactly. — Eoin Colfer

So if you're not Artemis Fowl, then who are you?" The boy extended a dripping hand straight up. "My name is Orion. I am so pleased to meet you at last. I am, of course, your servant." Holly shook the proferred hand, thinking that manners were lovely, but she really needed someone cunning and ruthless right now, and this kid didn't appear to be very cunning. — Eoin Colfer

Too much damned TV. Thinks he's Sherlock Holmes." "That's professor Moriarty," corrected Foaly. "Holmes, Moriarty, they both look the same with the flesh scorched off their skulls. — Eoin Colfer

A cloak of invisibility? This is a highly sensitive piece of field equipment. What does he think? Some warlock pulled it out of his armpit? — Eoin Colfer

Maybe I’ll keep you.” Abbot chuckled and prodded Artemis’s back with his sword. “It’d be nice to have a pet human around. I could teach you tricks.” “I have a trick for you,” said Artemis, and he fired a single blast from the gun. — Eoin Colfer

No alcohol, Riley." She nodded at the screen. "How are you liking the twenty-first century?" Riley burped. "The Take That are most melodic. And God bless Harry Potter is all I can say. If not for him, all of London would have been consumed by the dark arts. — Eoin Colfer

(about Dr. Po) Just another quack spouting psychobabble. — Eoin Colfer

Mulch's tongue lolled out, resting on the centaur's neck. "Mmm," he mumbled around his tongue. "Horse. Tasty" "Let's go," said Foaly nervously. "Let's go right now. — Eoin Colfer

You guys looking for my dad? People are always, like, looking for him, and he's never around. Daddy is so not here. And I mean that literally and spiritually. — Eoin Colfer

The only other scenario that could explain everything, up to and including your own bizarre apperance, is a convoluted conspiracy theory involving the Russian Mafia and a crack team of plastic surgeons. — Eoin Colfer

Grab some caviar from the kitchen. You wouldn't believe the muck they feed us in Bartleby's for ten thousand a term. — Eoin Colfer

Connor Broekhart was born to fly, or more accurately he was born flying. — Eoin Colfer

Is that how you're going to take me? Scare me into voluntarily coming aboard, then steal my Ice Cube?" "It's always cubes with you," noted Foaly, somewhat randomly. "What's wrong with a nice sphere? — Eoin Colfer

What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf? — Eoin Colfer

Holly is alive,' thought Foaly 'My princess lives,'exulted Orion. 'And we're chasing a dragon — Eoin Colfer

As a child, Zaphod had been diagnosed with ADHDDAAADHD (ntm) ABT which stood for Always Dreaming His Dopey Days Away, Also Attention Deficit Hyperflactulance Disorder (not to mention) A Bit Thick. — Eoin Colfer

Life Lessons by Eoin Colfer

1. Eoin Colfer's work emphasizes the importance of imagination and creativity, showing that anything is possible with the right attitude and effort.
2. He also emphasizes the power of friendship and loyalty, teaching readers that it is important to be supportive of those around you.
3. Finally, Colfer's work highlights the importance of standing up for yourself and being brave even when faced with difficult challenges.