110+ Janet Evanovich Quotes On Education, Writing And Books

Janet Evanovich is an American writer best known for her Stephanie Plum series of mystery novels. She has also written romance novels, non-fiction books, and children's books. Her books have been published in over 30 languages and have sold over 75 million copies worldwide. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Janet Evanovich on education, writing, love.

Top 10 Janet Evanovich Quotes

1. I shot that sucker right in the gumpy." Grandma Mazur
2. Last time you called me late at night you were naked and chained to your shower curtain rod. I hope this isn't going to be disappointing.
3. The 'Barnaby' books were always intended to be graphic novels.
4. When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.
5. My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco.
6. Calories don’t count if they’re connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.
7. -You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-
8. Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.
9. Personally, I'm a lazy kind of guy, and leaving the door open on the mystical saves me work. I don't have to stress my brain trying to explain the unexplainable. It's magic. End of discussion.
10. If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.

Janet Evanovich Short Quotes

• We don't appreciate the value of humor sometimes.
• Happens to me all the time...People are always underestimating my dumbness.
• I was going to go to church, but I decided to get doughnuts instead.
• My professional aspirations were simple - I wanted to be an intergalactic princess.
• Thinking very often resembles napping, but the intent is different. --Stephanie Plum
• Maybe your pregnant. Oops, hold on, you're not pregnant, on account of you're not gettin any.
• Were really screwed up, aren't we?" "In a very large way.
• He's a good man," Ranger said. "And you?" "I'm better.
• I think money isn't any good sitting around, so I spend some time in the shoe department at Saks.
• I'd kiss you, but you smell like a gym bag.

Janet Evanovich Quotes About Writing

Since I can barely write two books a year the best solution seems to be co-author projects. My goal isn't to get another writer to clone me... it's more to produce a book that shares my vision of positive, fun entertainment. — Janet Evanovich

Somewhere along the line, I realized that I liked telling stories, and I decided that I would try writing. Ten years later, I finally got a book published. It was hard. I had no skills. I knew nothing about the business of getting published. So I had to keep working at it. — Janet Evanovich

By about the sixth romance I knew I wasn't in exactly the right place. I liked writing action. And I wanted to write a book with a little more edge than I was allowed in romance. — Janet Evanovich

Respect and love your readers. Write for the reader. — Janet Evanovich

When you get ready to write your novel, outline it first. There's nothing worse than getting halfway through and realizing you've painted yourself in a plot corner. — Janet Evanovich

I write to entertain. When people read one of my books I want them to finish with a smile on their faces, feeling a little bit better about themselves and the people in their lives. — Janet Evanovich

We don't usually write up accidents involving rabbits. - Joe Morelli — Janet Evanovich

Since I write in first person and have no idea what goes on in men's heads. — Janet Evanovich

Lots of times I'm not crazy about the writing, but I keep moving ahead and somehow it gets better. The important thing is to move forward. — Janet Evanovich

I'm so busy writing and editing two books a year that I don't have time for painting anymore. — Janet Evanovich

Janet Evanovich Quotes About Love

Oh good. I love being bait for a homicidal mutilator." Stephanie Plum — Janet Evanovich

Cupcake , you've been breaking my heart for as long as I've known you — Janet Evanovich

[Stephanie Plum]Jeez. No True Love" [Grandma Mazur] There's always been true love, but in my day, you either talked yourself into thinking you had it, or you talked yourself into thinking you didn't need it. — Janet Evanovich

You never want to look in a mirror," Lula said. "Men love mirrors. They look at themselves doing the deed and they see Rex the Wonder Horse. Women look at themselves and think they need to renew their membership at the gym. — Janet Evanovich

Are you telling me your brain and your lady parts decided on a love fest bake-off winner? — Janet Evanovich

I think that some books are more successful than others to certain readers. People who read my books for the humor, they're going to love one book. People who read my books for the mystery, they might not like that book quite as much. — Janet Evanovich

I looked over at him. "Is that a proposal?" There was total silence for a couple beats. "I'm not sure. It just popped out." "Let me know when you're sure." "Would you say yes?" Morelli asked. "I'm not sure. — Janet Evanovich

I wasn’t sure anymore what made a good marriage. There had to be love, of course, but there were so many different kinds of love. And clearly, some love was more enduring than others. — Janet Evanovich

Sometimes it's hard to tell what's love and what's only indigestion — Janet Evanovich

Why do you give me cars?" "It's fun," Ranger said."And it keeps you safe. Do you want to know why keeping you safe is important to me?" "You love me?" "Yes." A sigh inadvertently escaped. "We're really screwed up, aren't we?" "In a very large way," Ranger said. — Janet Evanovich

Janet Evanovich Quotes About Books

I actually really suck at naming books, so lots of years ago, readers were sending in their ideas for titles, and what we realized is that they were smarter than us. So we thought, Hey, go for it. So now we have a contest every year. — Janet Evanovich

If you want to cry, you're not going to like my books. — Janet Evanovich

I go to bars and restaurants, and I sit and I eavesdrop on people and I watch people in shopping centers and, you know, I read the newspapers and I talk to the Trenton cops, and I just get a lot of information that comes in that somehow turns into a book. — Janet Evanovich

Some people learn from books, some listen to the advice of others, some learn from mistakes. I fit into the last category. So sue me. — Janet Evanovich

I really wouldn't classify the books as mysteries. I prefer to say that they're adventures. — Janet Evanovich

Janet Evanovich Quotes About Readers

Make sure your main characters are likeable. They can be flawed, but your readers need to be able to root for them. — Janet Evanovich

I don't want my readers slowed down by long passages of narrative. — Janet Evanovich

Transitions are critically important. I want the reader to turn the page without thinking she's turning the page. It must flow seamlessly. — Janet Evanovich

Janet Evanovich Quotes About Years

If anything happened to you, I'd be so destroyed they'd have to strap me to a bed and feed me through a tube. After five or six years, I might be capable of taking care of Rex. In the interim, you should assign a guardian. — Janet Evanovich

And the closest I've come to an out-of-body experience was when Joe Morelli took his mouth to me fourteen years ago, behind the eclair case. — Janet Evanovich

I received rejection letters for ten years (one on a napkin, written in crayon.) I had all my rejection notices stored in a box. When the box was finally full I took it to the curb and set it on fire. The next day I went out and got a temp job. — Janet Evanovich

When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: "She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank. — Janet Evanovich

When something needs to be ironed I put it in the ironing basket. If a year goes by and the item is still in the basket I throw the item away. This is a good system since eventually I end up only with clothes that don’t need ironing. — Janet Evanovich

THE NOTE said the first clue was "in the big one." I looked at the jumble of letters that followed, and I saw no pattern. Not such a surprise, since I was missing the puzzle chromosome and couldn't do puzzles designed for nine-year-olds. — Janet Evanovich

No one expected a first year engineering student to build the perfect bridge. — Janet Evanovich

Omygod, I haven’t got years. I’ll have to hide in the Bat Cave.” “Once you go to the Bat Cave it’s forever, babe.” Eeek. — Janet Evanovich

The golden years are for pussies. We went straight to brass. — Janet Evanovich

I struggled to learn basic skills, get a grip on markets, find my own unique voice, create story lines and come up to speed with the industry. I struggled for ten years before having any success. — Janet Evanovich

Janet Evanovich Famous Quotes And Sayings

I mostly eat peanut butter sandwiches. Peanut butter and banana, peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and potato chips, peanut butter and olives, and peanut butter and marshmallow goo. So sue me, I like peanut butter. — Janet Evanovich

Men are like shoes. Some fit better than others. And sometimes you go out shopping and there's nothing you like. And then, as luck would have it, the next week you find two that are perfect, but you don't have the money to buy both."- — Janet Evanovich

I rented Ghostbusters, my all-time favorite inspirational movie. I picked up some microwave, popcorn, a KitKat, a bag of bite-sized Reese's peanut butter cups, and a box of instant hot chocolate with marshmallows. Do I know how to have a good time, or what? — Janet Evanovich

Romance novels are birthday cake and life is often peanut butter and jelly. I think everyone should have lots of delicious romance novels lying around for those times when the peanut butter of life gets stuck to the roof of your mouth. — Janet Evanovich

I'm underrealized," Lula said. "I gotta lot of untapped potential. Yesterday my horoscope said I gotta expand my horizons." "You expand any more in that dress, and you'll get yourself arrested," Connie said. -- Twelve Sharp — Janet Evanovich

We were discussing a grisly double murder and Rodriguez was telling us all this in the same sort of conversational tone a person might use to pass on a favorite lasagna recipe. And I was responding with the same enthusiasm a new cook might show. I was simultaneously horrified and impressed with myself. — Janet Evanovich

I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum — Janet Evanovich

I met a real looker. He picked me up at the two dollar slot machines, so you know he's no cheapskate." Grandma Mazur — Janet Evanovich

I'm sorry about your Porsche." "I can replace the Porsche. I can't replace you. You need to be more careful." I was just sitting in your car!" Babe, you're a magnet for disaster. — Janet Evanovich

It wasn't exactly that Lula was fat. It was more that she was too short for her weight." - Stephanie Plum — Janet Evanovich

I attributed the incidence to temporary insanity, and in my own defense, I'd like to say I haven't run over anyone since. — Janet Evanovich

Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. "I gotta get me a pair if those," she said, eyeballing my shorts. "I've still got pretty good legs, you know." She raised her skirt and looked down at her knees. "What do you think? You think I'd look good in them biker things?" Grandma Mazur had knees like doorknobs. — Janet Evanovich

Ranger declined the butterscotch pudding, not wanting to disrupt the consistency of his blood sugar level. I had two puddings and coffee, choosing to keep my pancreas at peak performance. Use it or lose it is my philosophy. — Janet Evanovich

There’s always tomorrow.” “Exactly,” she said, finishing off her first doughnut, selecting a second. Maybe she wouldn’t starve to death, she decided. Maybe she’d eat herself into obesity and explode. Death by doughnut. — Janet Evanovich

Mooner was walking around laying his hands on the cars, divining karma. "this is it", he said, standing by a small khaki-colored jeep."this car has protective qualities" You mean like a guardian angel?" I mean, like, it has seatbelts — Janet Evanovich

Arson is a respected profession among certain subcultures in Jersey, and the good ones don't get caught. The good ones channel lightning and mysterious acts of spontaneous combustion. — Janet Evanovich

I thought you wanted to date other women?" "I didn't want to date other women. We decided in the heat of the moment that were no longer exclusively attached." "And I could date other men." Morelli was starting to look annoyed. "Have you been dating other men?" "Maybe." "As long as it isn't Ranger," Morelli said. "I don't think Ranger dates. — Janet Evanovich

In spite of all the sparring that went on between us, I sort of liked Morelli. Good judgment told me to stand clear of him, but then I've never been a slave to good judgment. — Janet Evanovich

I’ll be real discreet,” Tank said. As discreet as a six-foot-six, no-neck guy weighing three hundred and fifty pounds, all dressed in black SWAT clothes, with a Glock holstered at his side could be. — Janet Evanovich

You don't even need to go to college no more because you could learn how to do everything on YouTube. — Janet Evanovich

I took all of my rejection letters - there must have been thousands of them in a huge box - and I went out on the curb and burned them all, crying. — Janet Evanovich

God's a busy guy. He don't have time to micromanage. What are the chances he heard that? It's early in the morning. He's probably having breakfast with Mrs. God. — Janet Evanovich

I was watching television and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down." Grandma Mazur — Janet Evanovich

Morelli smiled. "It could have been Jenny Ragucci. That makes much more sense. I had good luck with sluts." I looked over at him. All in the past," Morelli said. "I'm a cupcake man now." Whoa, dude," Mooner said. "That's so, like, cosmic. — Janet Evanovich

Valerie was crying, too. She was laughing and sniffling back sobs. “I’m going to marry my snuggy wuggums,” she said. Morelli paused, his fork halfway to the roast chicken platter. He slid his eyes to me and leaned close. “If you ever call me snuggy wuggums in public I’ll lock you in the cellar and chain you to the furnace. — Janet Evanovich

Who's the best person you know. Of all the people you know personally, is there anyone who has a sense of right and wrong and lives by it? This was a sticky question because it would have to be Ranger ...but I suspected he occasionally killed people. Only bad people, of course, but still... — Janet Evanovich

Opening my door to Dillon Ruddick, my bulding super. I handed him a cup of coffee. "Sorry about the blood." "What was it this time?" No one reported gunfire." "I hit a guy in the face with a hair dryer." "Whoa." Dillon said. "It wasn't my fault," I told him. "Maybe we should lay down some linoleum here. It would make things easier for clean up. — Janet Evanovich

I got out of the elevator and confronted Mr. Wexler. “Killing is wrong.” “We kill chickens,” Mr. Wexler said. “We kill cows. We kill trees. So big deal, we kill some drug dealers.” It was hard to argue with that kind of logic because I like cows and chickens and trees much better than drug dealers. — Janet Evanovich

You deserved to get run over. And besides, I barely tapped you. The only reason you broke your leg was because you panicked and tripped over your own feet. — Janet Evanovich

Connie drove a silver Camry with rosary beads hanging from her rearview mirror and a Smith& Wesson stuck under the seat. No matter whatwent down, Connie was covered. — Janet Evanovich

Ranger Smiled. 'You want me to be Superman? Spend the night with me. — Janet Evanovich

He had a body like batman — Janet Evanovich

I don't mean to change the subject or anything, but have you tried concealer on that zit?" Cynthia Lotte - Hot Six — Janet Evanovich

I rolled my eyes so far into the top of my head I almost fell over backward. — Janet Evanovich

I did such a gigantic eye roll I almost fell over. — Janet Evanovich

Yeah, I like that idea. Maybe he'll shoot at us again. I was hoping someone would shoot at me today. That was the first thing I said when I got up: Boy, I hope I get shot at today. — Janet Evanovich

These are desparate times." - Stephanie Plum — Janet Evanovich

He [Ranger] peeled my [Stephanie] clothes off and wrangled me into bed. And then suddenly he was inside me. He once told me that time spent with him would ruin me for all other men. When he said it, I thought it was an outrageous threat. I no longer though it outrageous. — Janet Evanovich

You'd tell me if we were getting married, wouldn't you? I mean, you wouldn't just appear on my doorstep one day and say we were due at the church in an hour. — Janet Evanovich

If she wasn't your grandmother I'd shoot her." Ranger — Janet Evanovich

Fine. Let Ranger get someone else. Trust me, you don't want to be out looking for a parking place on Sloane in the middle of the night." I won't have to look for a parking place. Tank's picking me up. Your working with a guy name Tank? He's big. Jesus, Morelli said. I had to fall in love with a woman who works with a guy named Tank. You love me? Of course i love you. I just don't want to marry you. — Janet Evanovich

I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here? — Janet Evanovich

He specializes in virgins! The brush of his fingertips turns virgins into slobbering mush." Mary Lou Molnar — Janet Evanovich

I'd spent a night with Ranger a while ago, and I knew what happened when he was encouraged. Ranger knew how to make a woman want him. Ranger was magic. — Janet Evanovich

I failed math twice, never fully grasping probability theory. I mean, first off, who cares if you pick a black ball or a white ball out of the bag? And second, if you’re bent over about the color, don’t leave it to chance. Look in the damn bag and pick the color you want. — Janet Evanovich

THERE ARE SOME MEN who enter a woman’s life and screw it up forever. Joseph Morelli did this to me—not forever, but periodically. — Janet Evanovich

Oh, for God's sake," I said. "Just give me the stupid thing." I took the panic button and stuck it into my Super Sexy Miracle Bra. "GPS," Ranger said to Morelli. "Probably I can find her breast without it," Morelli said. "But it's good to know there's a navigational system on board if I need it. — Janet Evanovich

The way I see it, life is a jelly doughnut. You don't really know what it's about until you bite into it. And then, just when you decided it's good, you drop a big glob of jelly on your best T-shirt. — Janet Evanovich

You can get through very serious and sometimes horrible and sometimes embarrassing and very awkward situations with humor. It gives us a way out. — Janet Evanovich

The note wasn't signed, but I could tell it was from Morelli by the way my nipples got hard. — Janet Evanovich

Have you eaten?' I asked Diesel. When?' Recently.' No. — Janet Evanovich

Nice dress you're almost wearing. You ever think about changing professions?" -Ranger — Janet Evanovich

Suppose something goes wrong? Suppose you need a big full-figure woman like me to help straighten things out?" Lula — Janet Evanovich

You need teeth like mine!" Grandma said. "You can just mail 'em to the dentist! — Janet Evanovich

You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?” ~ Morelli — Janet Evanovich

Tastykakes are just another of the many advantages of living in Jersey. They’re made in Philly and shipped to Trenton in all their fresh squishiness. I read once that 439,000 Butterscotch Krimpets are baked every day. And not a heck of a lot of them find their way to New Hampshire. All that snow and scenery and what good does it do you without Tastykakes? — Janet Evanovich

You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious."- — Janet Evanovich

About that proposal, cupcake..." Morelli — Janet Evanovich

My mother drove back to the intersection. "Who are you dating?" "Don't ask," I said. I wasn't dating anyone. I was fornicating with Batman. — Janet Evanovich

I hate mornings. They start so early. — Janet Evanovich

Ranger appeared in the bathroom doorway and I was too relieved to be embarrassed. "I appreciate you coming out in the middle of the night," I said. Ranger smiled. "I didn't want to miss seeing you chained up naked. — Janet Evanovich

He reached out, opened the glove compartment, and took out a gun. It was a Smith & Wesson .38 five-shot special. It looked a lot like my gun. "I stopped by your apartment this morning and picked this up for you," Ranger said. "I found it in the cookie jar." "Tough guys always keep their gun in the cookie jar." "Name one." "Rockford." Ranger grinned. "I stand corrected. — Janet Evanovich

Saved by the grandma" Ranger — Janet Evanovich

I almost never shoot people. — Janet Evanovich

It was Lorraine in her nightie and Mo in his cap. They'd just settled their brains for a long winter's nap in front of the television. When out in the lot there arose such a clatter, they sprang from their recliners to see what was the matter. Away to the window they flew like a flash, tore open the blinds and threw up the sash. And what to their wondering eyes should appear, but Stephanie Plum and yet another of her cars burning front to rear. — Janet Evanovich

You're a magnet for mess. I've never seen anything like it. Lula to Stephanie — Janet Evanovich

I want to be there when you get Cubbin. And I don’t want to be left out of the television show either. Little people are sexy now. Have you seen Game of Thrones? We’re hot. — Janet Evanovich

Morelli grabbed the front of my shirt, pulled me to him, and kissed me. It was a great kiss, but I didn't know what the heck it meant. It seemed to me a breaking up kiss would have had less tongue. — Janet Evanovich

Mrs. Zuppa was coming in from bingo just as I was leaving the building. "Looks like you're going to work," she said, leaning heavily on her cane. "What are you packin'?" "A thirty-eight." "I like a nine-millimeter myself." "A nine's good." "Easier to use a semiautomatic after you've had hip replacement and you walk with a cane," she said. One of those useful pieces of information to file away and resurrect when I turn eighty-three. — Janet Evanovich

A uniform cordoned off the area with crime scene tape. The M.E. pulled in and parked. There were two EMT trucks idling at the edge of the lot. I’d stayed close to the back door, and one of the Rangeman guys had taken a position two feet from me, standing at parade rest. No doubt in my mind he’d take a bullet for me rather than face Ranger over a dead Stephanie. — Janet Evanovich

I disconnected and made a mental note not to call Tank unless I was bleeding profusely, and he was the only other person on earth. — Janet Evanovich

Did you take Joyce's engine?' 'My instructions were to disable the car, but one of the men bet Hal a burger he couldn't get the engine out. So Hal removed the engine. — Janet Evanovich

You could be the Mega Mage of wizards. You could rule Minionfire. Do you really think so?' Yeah, but you'd have to make a deal with the wood elves.' I don't like the wood elves.' They're okay. They're misunderstood. — Janet Evanovich

I don't have a lot of domestic instincts," Ranger said to me, his attention fixing on the unidentifiable glob in my hair, "but I have a real strong urge to take you home and hose you down." I went dry mouth. Connie bit into her lower lip, and Lula fanned herself with a file. — Janet Evanovich

you see what I'm saying?" Mooner said. "Something else always comes along. You go to jail, you don't have to worry about anything. No rent to pay. No food bill to sweat. Free dental plan. And that's worth something, dude.You don't wnat to stick your nose up at free dental. — Janet Evanovich

Everyone knew fear. It was the reaction that made the difference. Some people hated fear and avoided the experience. Some people endured it as a necessity. And some people became addicted to the rush. — Janet Evanovich

Kiss those cuffs good-bye." Lula from "Hard Eight" By Janet Evonavich — Janet Evanovich

Aren't you something," Grandma said. "I never saw a midget up close." "Little person," Briggs said. "And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either. — Janet Evanovich

Look at you! You look like Rangeman Barbie. You got a gun and everything. -Lula — Janet Evanovich

Life Lessons by Janet Evanovich

1. Janet Evanovich's work emphasizes the importance of resilience and perseverance, as her characters often face difficult obstacles but never give up.
2. Her stories also show how humor and a positive attitude can help us to overcome challenges and find success.
3. Finally, her works demonstrate the power of friendship and the importance of loyalty, as her characters often rely on the support of their friends and family to get through tough times.