110+ Jasper Fforde Quotes On Death, Wye And Grey

Jasper Fforde is an English novelist who is best known for his Thursday Next series of fantasy novels. He is also the author of the Nursery Crime series, the Last Dragonslayer series, and the Shades of Grey series. Fforde's books are known for their unique blend of fantasy, science fiction, and comedy. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Jasper Fforde on love, life, death.

Top 10 Jasper Fforde Quotes

1. I have a very varied taste in music. Everything from rap to classical to Latino to Rat Pack to jazz.
2. Two minds with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.
3. Defiance through compliance.
4. Love is a wonderful thing, my dear, but it leaves you wide open for blackmail.
5. The cucumber and the tomato are both fruit; the avocado is a nut. To assist with the dietary requirements of vegetarians, on the first Tuesday of the month a chicken is officially a vegetable.
6. Books may look like nothing more than words on a page, but they are actually an infinitely complex imaginotransference technology that translates odd, inky squiggles into pictures inside your head.
7. I collect ex-boyfriends -- and more than five, at last count.
8. Have you ever wondered how nostalgia isn"t what it used to be?
9. Failure concentrates the mind wonderfully. If you don't make mistakes, you're not trying hard enough.
10. Marriage, like spinach and opera, was something I had never thought I would like.

Jasper Fforde Short Quotes

• For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert.
• Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled, that's all.
• Without a yardstick sometimes the high points can be taken for granted.
• Don't move," said Sprockett."Mimes don't generally attack unless they are threatened.
• Yes, and imagine a world where there were no hypothetical situations.
• Do I have to talk to insane people?" "You're a librarian now. I'm afraid it's mandatory.
• Religion isn't the cause of wars, it's the excuse.
• Agents and publishers only want one thing - good writing.
• If it's a chimera alert, we just follows the screams.
• He was, after all, the ultimate rebel -- it takes a lot of cojones to stand up to Zeus.

Jasper Fforde Quotes About Love

Love and magic are like oil and water--they just don't mix. — Jasper Fforde

I'll tell you what love is" I said, "It is blind devotion, unquestioning self humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your heart and soul to the smiter. — Jasper Fforde

Love isn't sensible, Red. I think that's the point. — Jasper Fforde

I loved him, officer. More than any woman ever loved an egg. — Jasper Fforde

Jasper Fforde Quotes About Life

The safest course was actually the simplest-do nothing at all and hope everything turned out for the best. It wasn't a great plan, but it had the benefits of simplicity and a long tradition. — Jasper Fforde

Death and the end of one's life are two very different things indeed. — Jasper Fforde

If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction-and ultimately, without a major resolution. — Jasper Fforde

Because there's someone else here in East Carmin. Someone hopelessly unsuitable. It's all a really bad idea and will lead to trouble of the worst sort. But no matter what, every minute in her presence makes my life a minute more complete. — Jasper Fforde

Cats aren't really friendly, they're just cozying up to the dominant life-form as a hedge against extinction. — Jasper Fforde

Everything comes to an end. A good bottle of wine, a summer’s day, a long-running sitcom, one’s life, and eventually our species. The question for many of us is not that everything will come to an end but when. And can we do anything vaguely useful until it does? — Jasper Fforde

He spent his life immersed in books to the cost of everything else, even personal relationships. "Friends," he'd once said, "are probably great, but I have forty thousands friends of my own already, and each of them needs my attention. — Jasper Fforde

If only life were that simple; if one could jump to the good parts and flick through the bad. — Jasper Fforde

A good butler should save his employer's life at least once a day. — Jasper Fforde

Maybe those sorts of yes-or-no life-and-death decisions are easier to make because they are so black and white. I can cope with them because it's easier. Human emotions, well. . .they're just a fathomless collection of grays and I don't do so well on the midtones. — Jasper Fforde

Jasper Fforde Quotes About Death

Death, I had discovered long ago, was available in varying flavors, and none of them particularly palatable. — Jasper Fforde

Death doesn't care about personalities - he's more interested in meeting quotas. — Jasper Fforde

I have the death sentence in seven genres. — Jasper Fforde

Dead. Never been that before. Not even once. — Jasper Fforde

Jasper Fforde Quotes About Reading

How many people want to read about three disreputable pigs and a dopey wolf with a disposition towards house demolition? — Jasper Fforde

I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your thoughts! — Jasper Fforde

I also read about Heathcliff's unexpected three-year career in Hollywood under the name Buck Stallion and his eventual return to the pages of Wuthering Heights. — Jasper Fforde

Take no heed of her.... She reads a lot of books. — Jasper Fforde

Without unscrambled eggs, there was no time travel, no more depredation of the Now, and we could look to a brighter future of long-term thought--and more reading. — Jasper Fforde

People who read my books have an open mind when it comes to new, bizarre, interesting and exciting ideas. — Jasper Fforde

Jasper Fforde Famous Quotes And Sayings

To espresso or to latte, that is the question...whether 'tis tastier on the palate to choose white mocha over plain...or to take a cup to go. Or a mug to stay, or extra cream, or have nothing, and by opposing the endless choice, end one's heartache. — Jasper Fforde

After all, reading is arguably a far more creative and imaginative process than writing; when the reader creates emotion in their head, or the colors of the sky during the setting sun, or the smell of a warm summer's breeze on their face, they should reserve as much praise for themselves as they do for the writer - perhaps more. — Jasper Fforde

How fishy on the fishiness scale? Ten is a stickleback and one is a whale shark." "A whale isn't a fish, Thursday." "A whale shark is--sort of." "All right, it's as fishy as a crayfish." "A crayfish isn't a fish." "A starfish, then." "Still not a fish." "This is a very odd conversation, Thursday. — Jasper Fforde

A missing arm might ruin your symmetry. Personal asymmetry where I come from is a big taboo and brings great shame on the family and sometimes even the whole village." "Do you then have to kill yourself over it or something?" "Goodness me, no! The family and village just have to learn to be ashamed--and nuts to them for being so oversensitive. — Jasper Fforde

Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. And finally, there is no problem on Earth that can't be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea. — Jasper Fforde

Palindrome as well. My sister's name is Hannah. Father liked word games. He was fourteen times World Scrabble Champion. When he died, we buried him at Queenzieburn to make use of the triple word score. — Jasper Fforde

Social mores change with time, like fashion - who knows where it might all end up? I especially like the idea that waste, impoliteness and overpopulation become "abominations," although I'm not sure recycling one's aunt will ever truly catch on. — Jasper Fforde

I didn't set out to discover a truth. I was actually sent to the Outer Fringes to conduct a chair census and learn some humility. But the truth inevitably found me, as important truths often do, like a lost thought in need of a mind. — Jasper Fforde

Don't let anyone tell you the future is already written. The best any prophet can do is to give you the most likely version of future events. It is up to us to accept the future for what it is, or change it. It is easy to go with the flow; it takes a person of singular courage to go against it. — Jasper Fforde

Lesson one in time travel, Thursday. First of all, we are all time travellers. The vast majority of us manage only one day per day. — Jasper Fforde

Sometimes, a word succeeds beyond the wildest dreams of its creators, like a virus sent into the world to infect common speech. — Jasper Fforde

Quarkbeasts, for all their fearsome looks, are obedient to a fault. They are nine-tenths velociraptor and kitchen blender and one-tenth Labrador. It was the Labrador tenth that I valued most. — Jasper Fforde

I've got six months to sort out the hackers, get the Japanese knotweed under control and find an acceptable form of narcissus. — Jasper Fforde

If it weren't for greed, intolerance, hate, passion and murder, you would have no works of art, no great buildings, no medical science, no Mozart, no Van Gough, no Muppets and no Louis Armstrong. — Jasper Fforde

Humans like stories. Humans need stories. Stories are good. Stories work. Story clarifies and captures the essence of the human spirit. Story, in all its forms—of life, of love, of knowledge—has traced the upward surge of mankind. And story, you mark my words, will be with the last human to draw breath. — Jasper Fforde

Sorry, [Hamlet] said, rubbing his temples. I don't know what came over me. All of a sudden I had this overwhelming desire to talk for a very long time without actually doing anything. — Jasper Fforde

We were developing a machine that used egg white, heat and sugar to synthesize methanol when a power surge caused an implosion. Owens was meringued. By the time we chipped him out the poor chap had expired. — Jasper Fforde

I've managed to bring the backlog down to a mere sixty-eight years," she announced with some small sense of achievement. "I hope to be able to start marking the papers of pupils who are still alive by the end of the decade. — Jasper Fforde

Cash is always the deciding factor in such matters of moral politics; nothing ever gets done unless motivated by commerce or greed. — Jasper Fforde

If you expect me to believe that a lawyer wrote A Midsummer Night's Dream, I must be dafter than I look. — Jasper Fforde

the Real-World was a sprawling mess of a book in need of a good editor. — Jasper Fforde

I shouldn't believe anything I say, if I were you-and that includes what I just told you. — Jasper Fforde

The cleanest souls are the easiest to soil. — Jasper Fforde

To a great extent, I still write for myself, write what amuses me. Fortunately, I have a quirky sort of strange sense of humor that appeals to other people and that's good. I still sort of write for myself though there are some areas of the book I feel I have to put in and I feel I have to deliver. — Jasper Fforde

Marriage is an honorable estate and should not be used simply as an excuse for legal intercourse. — Jasper Fforde

It took me ten years and seven books to bag an agent - it took me that long to start writing good. — Jasper Fforde

Literature is claimed to be a mirror of the world,” I said, “but the Outlanders are fooling themselves. The BookWorld is as orderly as people in the RealWorld *hope* their own world to be—it isn’t a mirror, it’s an aspiration. — Jasper Fforde

The Kingdom of Hereford was unique in the Ununited Kingdoms for having driving tests based on maturity, not age, much to the chagrin of a lot of males, some of whom were still failing to make the grade at thirty-two. — Jasper Fforde

I wished I could share my own optimism. — Jasper Fforde

The universe always moves from an ordered state to a disordered one; that a glass may fall to the ground and shatter yet you never see a broken glass reassemble itself and then jump back on the table. — Jasper Fforde

There are a lot of idiots in this country, and they deserve representation as much as the next man. — Jasper Fforde

Governments and fashions come and go but Jane Eyre is for all time. — Jasper Fforde

Ill-fitting grammar are like ill-fitting shoes. You can get used to it for a bit, but then one day your toes fall off and you can't walk to the bathroom. — Jasper Fforde

For a taste that's a bit more distinct, eat a bird before it's extinct. — Jasper Fforde

There is a certain degree of steampunkishness that creeps into my books. — Jasper Fforde

Sometimes choice is a luxury that fate does not afford us. — Jasper Fforde

People don't change just because you know more about them. — Jasper Fforde

Words are like leaves,. . .like people really, fond of their own society. — Jasper Fforde

The government was to raise the duty on cheese to 83 percent, an unpopular move that would doubtless have the more militant citizens picketing cheese shops. — Jasper Fforde

the best lies to tell are the ones people want to believe — Jasper Fforde

I suggest we depict penguins as callous and unfeeling creatures who insist on bringing up their children in what is little more than a large chest freezer. — Jasper Fforde

Almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. — Jasper Fforde

The barriers between reality and fiction are softer than we think; a bit like a frozen lake. Hundreds of people can walk across it, but then one evening a thin spot develops and someone falls through; the hole is frozen over by the following morning. — Jasper Fforde

Were you listening to a word I said ' 'I kind of switched off when you drew breath. — Jasper Fforde

Our notions of self-determination are, on the whole, something of a myth. We are governed almost exclusively by our own peculiar habits, which makes those who rail against them that much more remarkable. — Jasper Fforde

We all make mistakes at some time in our lives, some more than others. It is only when the cost is counted in human lives that people really take notice. — Jasper Fforde

Sometimes I don't know whether I'm thening or nowing. — Jasper Fforde

Fiction wouldn't be much fun without its fair share of scoundrels, and they have to live somewhere. — Jasper Fforde

Personally I have a great deal of fun doing it, which is an inspiration in itself really. It really allows me to daydream, as in "schooldream" which is daydreaming with ink and get paid for it which is something I don't say to schools when I go in and talk to them. — Jasper Fforde

That's the thing about destiny: It can't be predicted, and it's usually pretty odd. — Jasper Fforde

I could almost see common sense and denial fighting away at each other within her. In the end, denial won, as it so often does. — Jasper Fforde

The name is Schitt," he replied. "Jack Schitt. — Jasper Fforde

Writing is not something you can do or you can't. It's not even something that 'other people do' or 'for smart people only' or even 'for people who finished school and went to University'. Nonsense. Anyone can do it. But no-one can do it straight off the bat. Like plastering, brain surgery or assembling truck engines, you have to do a bit of training - get your hands dirty - and make some mistakes. — Jasper Fforde

What is there to forgive?. . .Ignore forgive and concentrate on living. Life for you is short; far too short to allow small jealousies to infringe on the happiness which can be yours only for the briefest of times. — Jasper Fforde

The inspiration comes from everywhere, from what I grew up with. There's so much silliness and nonsense in the world that we regard as normal working procedure. The satirical point of the view may be to counterpoint that. The way we look at classics has been hijacked by the intelligentsia - Shakespeare is highbrow and seen as something clever people do, which isn't right at all. I basically pull inspiration from everywhere. — Jasper Fforde

Individual words, sounds, squiggles on paper with no meanings other than those with which our imagination can clothe them. — Jasper Fforde

It wasn’t going to be hard…it was going to be impossible. It wouldn’t deter me. I'd done impossible things several times in the past, and the prospect didn’t scare me as much as it used to. — Jasper Fforde

I was on HPD--Heathcliff Protection Duty--in Wuthering Heights for two years, and believe me, the ProCaths tried everything. I personally saved him from assassination eight times. — Jasper Fforde

True and baseless evil is as rare as the purest good - and we all know how rare that is. — Jasper Fforde

You see? I know where every single book used to be in the library. She pointed to the shelf opposite. Over there was Catch-22, which was a hugely popular fishing book and one of a series, I believe. — Jasper Fforde

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary, O’er a plan to venge myself upon that cursed Thursday Next- This Eyre affair, so surprising, gives my soul such loath despising, Here I plot my temper rising, rising from my jail of text. “Get me out!” I said, advising, “Pluck me from this jail of text- or I swear I’ll wring your neck! — Jasper Fforde

Who do readers expect to see when they pick up this book? Who has won the Most Troubled Romantic Lead at the BookWorld Awards seventy-seven times in a row? Me. All me. — Jasper Fforde

If you enjoyed laughing in the face of death, you might like to have a crack at High Saffron. One hundred merits, and all you have to do is take a look.' 'I understand there's a one hundred percent fatality rate?' 'True. But up until the moment of death there was a one hundred percent survival rate. Really, I shouldn't let anything as meaningless as statistics put you off. — Jasper Fforde

"Edward, Edward," he said with a patronising smile, "there are no unanswered questions of any relevance. Every question that we need to ask has been answered fully. If you can't find the correct answer then you are obviously asking the wrong question." — Jasper Fforde

Growth purely for its own sake is the philosophy of cancer. — Jasper Fforde

Humpty had always sat on walls, it was his way. — Jasper Fforde

The best plans are always the simplest. — Jasper Fforde

Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence. — Jasper Fforde

DCI Horner's advice to Jack Spratt: "Remember, m'boy," his old boss had said, eyes twinkling, "that if anyone tries to get the better of you, stand up straight and say to yourself in an imperious air, 'I am the new Mrs. de Winter now!' You'll find it works wonders. — Jasper Fforde

I've never been averse to a little risk - after all, writing without risk is not really writing at all. Sometimes one has to just let fly with a high concept piece and see where the pieces fall. As it generally turns out, the central story is familiar, but just with different rules of engagement. — Jasper Fforde

Librarying is a harder profession than the public realizes, he said. People think it's all rubber stamps, knowing that Dewey 521 is celestial mechanics and saying 'Try looking under fiction' sixty eight times a day. — Jasper Fforde

To each our own Hamlet. — Jasper Fforde

Life Lessons by Jasper Fforde

1. Jasper Fforde's work emphasizes the importance of imagination, creativity, and humor in storytelling.
2. He also encourages readers to think outside the box and explore alternate realities and possibilities.
3. His stories demonstrate the power of literature to transport readers to new worlds and to create meaningful connections between characters and readers.