110+ Jeff Lindsay Quotes On Education, Comedic And Satirical

Jeff Lindsay is an American playwright and novelist. He is best known for creating the character of Dexter Morgan, the eponymous protagonist of the Showtime television series Dexter. Lindsay has also written several novels featuring Dexter, as well as a play and a comic book series. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Jeff Lindsay on leadership, education, love.

Top 10 Jeff Lindsay Quotes

1. I know family comes first, but shouldn't that mean after breakfast?
2. Nothing in life is fair. Fair is a dirty word and I'll thank you not to use that language around me.
3. But as I have noticed on more than one occaision, life itself is unfair, and there is no complaint department, so we might as well accept things the way they happen, clean up the mess, and move on.
4. Our universe is ruled by random whim, inhabited by people who laugh at logic.
5. And I was having too much fun to stop now.
6. It's always me, isn't it? I'm not really a very nice person, but for some reason it's always me that they come to with their problems.
7. It happens; incompetence is rewarded more often than not.
8. Life teaches us that human thought almost never walks hand in hand with logic, and it is usually counterproductive to raise the point.
9. I'm a very neat monster.
10. What a terrible thing life can be.

Jeff Lindsay Short Quotes

• I mean, really: what kind of person could possibly dislike me?
• A man can take only so much. Even a phony man like me.
• Was insanity really easier to accept than unconsciousness?
• ...my conscience has the same hard reality as a unicorn.
• It’s like, everything really is two ways, the way we all pretend it is and the way it really is
• Life's only obligation, afterall, was to be interesting.
• Feeling - what authentic human fun!
• It's terrible to have to depend on someone else.
• Could this be the Apocalypse ?
• been there done that, bought the t-shirt" Chapter 2

Jeff Lindsay Quotes About Love

I am unlovable...I have tried to involve myself in other people, in relationships, and even - in my sillier moments - in love. But it doesn't work. Something in me is broken or missing and sooner or later the other person catches me Acting or one of Those Nights comes along. — Jeff Lindsay

Nothing else loves me, or ever will. Not even - especially - me. I know what I am and that is not a thing to love. — Jeff Lindsay

And so as much as I can, I care about her, dear Deborah. It's probably not love, but I would rather she were happy. — Jeff Lindsay

Jeff Lindsay Famous Quotes And Sayings

Anybody can be charming if they don't mind faking it, saying all the stupid, obvious, nauseating things that a conscience keeps most people from saying. Happily, I don't have a conscience. I say them. — Jeff Lindsay

First things first has always been my motto, mostly because it makes absolutely no sense - after all, if first things were second or third, they wouldn't be first things, would they? Still, cliches exist to comfort the feeble minded, not to provide any actual meaning. — Jeff Lindsay

I'm quite sure more people fake an awful lot of everyday human contact. I just fake all of it." --Dexter — Jeff Lindsay

As I've said, freedom is really an illusion. Anytime we think we have a real choice, it just means we haven't seen the shotgun aimed at our navel. — Jeff Lindsay

The key to a happy life is to have accomplishments to be proud of and purpose to look forward to, and at the moment I had both. How wonderful it was to be me. — Jeff Lindsay

And once again I found myself wondering, as I drifted off to stunned and unbelieving sleep:How do these terrible things always happen to me? — Jeff Lindsay

Since I am not actually a real human being, my emotional responses are generally limited to what I have learned to fake. — Jeff Lindsay

I thought about the nice clothes that I always wore. Well of course I did. I took pride in being the best dressed monster in Dade County. — Jeff Lindsay

I had killed our careful relationship by driving my tongue through its heart and pushing it off a cliff. — Jeff Lindsay

A man who discovers his pants are on fire tends to have very little time to worry about somebody else's box of matches — Jeff Lindsay

...being torn apart by far too many loyalties that could not possibly live together in the same brain. — Jeff Lindsay

They like to tell us that it is important to speak the truth, but it has been my experience that real happiness lies in having people tell you what you want to believe, usually not the same thing at all, and if you have to stub your toe on the truth later, so be it. — Jeff Lindsay

I think people understand things different when they get older. It’s not a question of getting soft, or seeing things in the gray areas instead of black and white. I really believe I’m just understanding things different. Better. — Jeff Lindsay

And as always seems to happen when I have reached the point where I am ready to take decisive action, everything began to happen at once. — Jeff Lindsay

I had become a perfect fake human, saying the stupid and pointless things that humans say to each other all day long. — Jeff Lindsay

I rose to my knees, mouth dry and heart pounding, and paused to finger a rip in my beautiful Dacron bowling shirt. I pushed my fingertip through the hole and wiggled it at myself. Hello, Dexter, where are you going? Hello, Mr. Finger. I don't know, but I'm almost there. I hear my friends calling. — Jeff Lindsay

It's that moon again, slung so fat and low in the tropical night, calling out across a curdled sky and into the quivering ears of that dear old voice in the shadows, the Dark Passenger, nestled snug in the backseat of the Dodge K-car of Dexter's hypothetical soul. That rascal moon, that loudmouthed leering Lucifer, calling down across the empty sky to the dark hearts of the night monsters below, calling them away to their joyful playgrounds. — Jeff Lindsay

I stood up. It was all too much. I could not even meet my own expectations, and to be asked to deal with all theirs too was suffocating. — Jeff Lindsay

And as we should all know by now, anytime you predict failure you have an excellent chance of being right. — Jeff Lindsay

And then more quiet, silence so deep it almost drowned out the roar of the night music that pounded away in my secret self. — Jeff Lindsay

It took me a moment. I blinked, and suddenly it swam into focus and I had to frown very hard to keep myself from giggling out loud like the schoolgirl Deb had accused me of being. Because he had arranged the arms and legs in letters, and the letters spelled out a single small word: BOO. The three torsos were carefully arranged below the BOO in a quarter-circle, making a cute little Halloween smile. What a scamp. — Jeff Lindsay

I really am guilty, of many somethings, all of them lethal and very enjoyable and technically not quite legal. — Jeff Lindsay

I sighed; as comforting as it may be to some of us, sarcasm, like youth, is wasted on the young. — Jeff Lindsay

It was such an unexpected and genuine smile that if I only had a soul I'm sure I would have felt quite guilty. — Jeff Lindsay

Why bother inflicting enormous pain on yourself when sooner or later Life would certainly get around to doing it for you? — Jeff Lindsay

I don't know if you have noticed this, but it is quite possible for two human beings to have a conversation in which one or both parties involved has absolutely no idea what they're talking about. — Jeff Lindsay

you can’t use logic on human behavior. — Jeff Lindsay

No big deal. We all have blood in us, the trick is keeping it inside. — Jeff Lindsay

You're driving me NORMAL! — Jeff Lindsay

I don't do my job to catch the bad guys. Why would I want to do that? No, I do my job to make order out of chaos. — Jeff Lindsay

The whole point of wearing a disguise was to be seen wearing her. — Jeff Lindsay

The mind picks some very bad times to take a walk doesn't it? — Jeff Lindsay

For the first time I could remember, I felt weak, woozy and stupid— like a human-being. Like a very small and helpless human-being. — Jeff Lindsay

Killing makes me feel good. — Jeff Lindsay

What do you want a clock for?” “To find out what time it is,” I said. “I think that’s the usual purpose. — Jeff Lindsay

...she opened the door very slowly and carefully, half hiding behind it, as if badly frightened of what might be waiting for her on the other side. And considering that it was me waiting, this showed rare common sense. — Jeff Lindsay

I was good at being charming, one of my very few vanities. — Jeff Lindsay

In its own way the kiss had been an act of murder. — Jeff Lindsay

Stop the nurse like the monkey. — Jeff Lindsay

It was almost enough to make me feel emotion. — Jeff Lindsay

Of course, having information to use is one thing. Knowing what it means and how to use it is a different story. — Jeff Lindsay

…a cheerful black shadow reared up behind him as he spoke, thundering a happy challenge to my Dark Passenger, which slid forward and bellowed back. — Jeff Lindsay

Of course it was a terrible thing, and the world would be a much better place without someone in it who could do that, but did that mean we had to miss lunch? — Jeff Lindsay

And here I always thought morality was useless. — Jeff Lindsay

I often find myself in situations where it seems to me like everyone else has read the instruction book — Jeff Lindsay

But of course, there's no rest for the wicked, which I certainly am; as I said, no rest for the wicked. — Jeff Lindsay

Dying makes everyone weaker, subject to painful insight, and not always insight into any kind of special truth - it's just the approaching end that makes people want to believe they are seeing something in the line of a great revelation. — Jeff Lindsay

Saturday morning was their unrestricted television time, and they usually took advantage of it to watch a series of cartoon shows that would certainly have been impossible before the discovery of LSD. — Jeff Lindsay

I was filled with dread at the thought my mind had skipped town and left me behind to pay the rent." --Dexter — Jeff Lindsay

It revealed a cruelty that really made one wonder if the universe was such a good idea after all. — Jeff Lindsay

A reasonable being might think that he and I could find some common ground; have a cup of coffee and compare our Passengers, exchange trade talk and chitchat about dismemberment techniques. But no: Doakes wanted me dead. And I found it difficult to share his point of view. — Jeff Lindsay

Have you noticed how difficult it is just to get along in the world? If you're no good at all in your job, people treat you badly and eventually you will be unemployed. And if you're a little better than competent, everyone expects miracles from you, every single time. Like most of life, it's a no-win situation. And if you dare to mention it, no matter how creatively you phrase your complaints, you are shunned as a whiner. — Jeff Lindsay

Weren't we all crazy in our sleep? What was sleep, after all, but the process by which we dumped our insanity into a dark subconscious pit and came out on the other side ready to eat cereal instead of our neighbor's children? — Jeff Lindsay

In that tremendous flash of freedom, on my way to do The Thing for the first time, sanctioned by Almighty Harry, I receded, faded back into the scenery of my own dark self, whole the other me crouched and growled. I would do It at last, do what I had been created to do. And I did. — Jeff Lindsay

Mutilated corpses with a chance of afternoon showers. I got dressed and went to work. — Jeff Lindsay

Getting yelled at by a furious woman should be treated as a semiformal occasion. — Jeff Lindsay

It was clear to me that it wouldn't matter what I did - they would never truly appreciate me or learn what I had to offer. They were far beyond fickle - they were insensible, like kittens,predatory little things, distracted by the first bit of string or shiny bauble that rolled across the floor, and nothing I could ever say or do could possibly make any kind of dent in their willful ignorance. — Jeff Lindsay

For my part, my interest in Paris had faded away completely long ago when I learned that it was in France. — Jeff Lindsay

Rectory always sounded to me like a place where you would find a proctologist. — Jeff Lindsay

It’s an odd term, 'girlfriend,' particularly for grown persons. And in practice it provides an even odder concept. Generally speaking, in adults it described a woman, not a girl, who was willing to provide sex, not friendship. In fact, from what I had observed it was quite possible for one to actively dislike one’s girlfriend, although of course true hatred is reserved for marriage. — Jeff Lindsay

Because I am an inhuman monster, I tend to be logical. — Jeff Lindsay

Another dream. Another long-distance call on my phantom party line. No wonder i had steadfastly refused to have dreams for most of my life. So stupid; such pointless, obvious symbols. Totally uncontrollable anxiety soup, hateful, blatant nonsense. — Jeff Lindsay

She really did like me, the idiot. — Jeff Lindsay

There is a simple, logical explanation,' I said to myself. And because you never know who else is listening, I added, 'And there is nothing under the bed.'" --Dexter — Jeff Lindsay

I enjoyed watching good-looking idiots looking at each other. A great spectator sport. — Jeff Lindsay

I let it ring. I wanted to breathe for a few minutes, and I could think of nothing that couldn't wait. Besides, I had paid almost $50 for an answering machine. Let it earn its keep. — Jeff Lindsay

IN MY LIFELONG STUDY OF HUMAN BEINGS, I HAVE FOUND that no matter how hard they might try, they have found no way yet to prevent the arrival of Monday morning. And they do try, of course, but Monday always comes, and all the drones have to scuttle back to their dreary workaday lives of meaningless toil and suffering. — Jeff Lindsay

It really is better to be lucky than to be good. — Jeff Lindsay

But what could I do? Be stupid for a while? I wasn't sure I knew how, even after so many years of careful observation. — Jeff Lindsay

Perhaps because I'll never be one, humans are interesting to me. — Jeff Lindsay

The faster it ran away from me. And I found myself reasoning that perhaps one more beer would unlock the doors of perception. — Jeff Lindsay

I was never more alive than when the Dark Passenger was driving. — Jeff Lindsay

Detective, I don't know where the boyfriend is, really," I said. And it was true, considering tide, current, and the habits of marine scavengers. -Dexter — Jeff Lindsay

Money to me had always been merely something the sheep used to show each other how wonderful they were. — Jeff Lindsay

Or was he saying, "Hi! Wanna play?" And I did. Of course I did. — Jeff Lindsay

Whatever made me the way I am left me hollow, empty inside, unable to feel. It doesn't seem like a big deal. I'm quite sure most people fake an awful lot of everyday human contact. I just fake it all. I fake it very well, and the feelings are never there. — Jeff Lindsay

After a long moment I closed the freezer door. I wanted to lie down and press my cheek against the cool linoleum. Instead I reached out with my little finger and flipped the Barbie's head. It went thack thack against the door. I flipped it again. Thack thack. Whee. I had a new hobby. — Jeff Lindsay

Me, feeling. What a concept. — Jeff Lindsay

I did not like this feeling of having feelings. — Jeff Lindsay

I looked around the store and what I saw was not very encouraging. There were rows and rows of violent toys...aisle after aisle of training devices for recreational slaughter. No wonder our world was such a mean and violent place...if we teach children that killing is fun, can we really be surprised if now and then someone is smart enough to learn? — Jeff Lindsay

I think that's nice, and if I could have feelings at all I would have them for Deb. — Jeff Lindsay

And what did you do last night, Dexter? Oh, I played with my dolls while a friend chopped up my sister. — Jeff Lindsay

I waved to everybody. Some of them even waved back. They knew me, had seen me go by before, always cheerful, a big hello for everybody. He was such a nice man. Very friendly. I can’t believe he did those horrible things . . . — Jeff Lindsay

We can't always do what we think we have to do. So when there's nothing else you can do, you wait... No matter what... pressure... you might feel. — Jeff Lindsay

What to wear? I could think of no guidelines on what we were wearing this season to a party forced on you to celebrate an unwanted engagement that might turn into a violent confrontation with a vengeful maniac. Clearly brown shoes were out, but beyond that nothing really seemed de rigueur. — Jeff Lindsay

I nodded with genuine synthetic sympathy. — Jeff Lindsay

Now I know what it is like to feel like a total idiot. — Jeff Lindsay

Life Lessons by Jeff Lindsay

1. Jeff Lindsay's work emphasizes the importance of embracing the unexpected and embracing life's challenges.
2. He also encourages us to be open to new experiences and to appreciate the beauty of the world around us.
3. Through his work, Lindsay teaches us to be resilient in the face of adversity and to never give up on our dreams.