110+ Jessica Valenti Quotes On Education, Her Head And Feminist

Jessica Valenti is a best-selling author and leading voice in the feminist movement. She is the founder of Feministing.com, a popular website and online community for young feminists, and the author of five books on feminism, politics, and culture. Valenti has been writing and speaking about women’s rights for over a decade, and her work has been featured in The New York Times, The Nation, The Guardian, and more. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Jessica Valenti on education, leadership, love.

Top 10 Jessica Valenti Quotes

1. Men take what women make and claim it as their own.Men don’t love childrenThey kill them in a heartbeat to hurt a woman
2. Men in their hearts hate women. It doesn’t matter how much we love them. They hate us”
3. It seems odd that we continue to worry about the reputations of men who are accused of sexual wrong-doings.
4. If your husband is cheating on you, it doesn't mean that you need to get prettier -- it means he's a scumbag.
5. Wedding fever is one of the scariest diseases I have ever seen.
6. Once you get married, women are still implicitly expected to do the majority of the housework and take care of any future children.
7. Child-rearing can be a tedious and thankless undertaking.
8. People aren't comfortable thinking of women as people. Like we're not people, we're women, and that means something completely different, especially when you have power.
9. My informal writing style is a political choice, because I want feminism to be more accessible.
10. I think feminism is taking off. It's just not visible in the way that we would like it to be.

Jessica Valenti Short Quotes

• Life is messy, and it's okay if you are too! We all screw up, that doesn't have to define us.
• As much as I disagree with Sarah Palin, there's no denying that she was the victim of sexism.
• According to the virginity movement, men have no self-control when it comes to anything sexual.
• The only purpose of an engagement ring is to show you 'belong' to someone, and your man makes bank.
• The truth about parenting is that the reality of our lives needs to be enough.
• If you're fighting to limit other women's rights, then you can't really call yourself a feminist.
• I don't get much career advice at all, and I would like some.
• Small blogs are starting up big campaigns.
• I think that blogging and the Internet has completely changed feminism for ever, I think.
• Stress from blogging keeps me up at night.

Jessica Valenti Quotes About Feminist

Bra-burning never happened. It was completely made up by the media. A couple of women protesting a Miss America pageant threw some bras into a garbage can, and somehow that became this longstanding idea of feminists as bra-burners. — Jessica Valenti

If you don't identify as a feminist, you're missing out on this whole community that's out there that could really help you with your work, help you with your personal life, and just give you support. — Jessica Valenti

People seem to think, because of the way that the media has appropriated third-wave feminism or young feminism, that all young feminists are about is like pole dancing and girls gone wild and how empowering it is. Like they'll start calling anything feminist. — Jessica Valenti

Whether people identify as feminists or not, if they're doing work that furthers a feminist cause, I think that's wonderful, like if it works for me, right, it works for the movement. — Jessica Valenti

Obviously Feministing is kind of a women's space in a certain way, even though we have a lot of male readership and people who don't identify as women. — Jessica Valenti

I'm really aware of how feminism and feminist rhetoric has been appropriated by the right. — Jessica Valenti

I think we get into very dangerous territory when we start to define who can and cannot be a feminist. It's such a slippery slope, and I have no interest in being the feminist police! — Jessica Valenti

Something I say a lot when it comes to anti-feminist stereotypes is that they exist for a reason. — Jessica Valenti

I certainly wouldn't be writing books if it hadn't been for the feminist blogosphere, and I think that's a really amazing thing. — Jessica Valenti

I do think that more people are feminists than they realize. — Jessica Valenti

Jessica Valenti Famous Quotes And Sayings

Hearing the Beastie Boys speak out against sexism made me feel like if these men who had once sung about getting girls to 'do the laundry' and 'clean up my room' could understand, maybe the rest of the world would follow suit. It made me hopeful in the best way. — Jessica Valenti

Value yourself for what the media doesn't - your intelligence, your street smarts, your ability to play a kick-ass game of pool, whatever. So long as it's not just valuing yourself for your ability to look hot in a bikini and be available to men, it's an improvement. — Jessica Valenti

Feminism isn't simply about being a woman in a position of power. It's battling systemic inequities; it's a social justice movement that believes sexism, racism and classism exist and interconnect, and that they should be consistently challenged. — Jessica Valenti

Yes, the more successful you are—or the stronger, the more opinionated—the less you will be generally liked. All of a sudden people will think you’re too braggy, too loud, too something. But the trade-off is undoubtedly worth it. Power and authenticity are worth it. — Jessica Valenti

If there's an article about sexual assault, if there's a video about feminism on YouTube, you're going to get the most horrible, disgusting comments ever. And sometimes the comments are pornographic, and sometimes the comments are really harassing. So I think that it's kind of a difficult place for women to write sometimes. — Jessica Valenti

Present-day American society-whether through pop culture, religion, or institutions-conflates sexuality and morality constantly. Idolizing virginity as a stand-in for women’s morality means that nothing else matters-not what we accomplish, not what we think, not what we care about and work for. Just if/how/whom we have sex with. That’s all. — Jessica Valenti

The stereotypes of feminists as ugly, or man-haters, or hairy, or whatever it is - that's really strategic. That's a really smart way to keep young women away from feminism, is to kind of put out this idea that all feminists hate men, or all feminists are ugly; and that they really come from a place of fear. — Jessica Valenti

Given the reality of unintended parenthood and parental unhappiness, one would think that women and men who make the decision not to have children - who are deliberate and thoughtful about the choice to bring another person into the world - would be seen as less selfish than those who unthinkingly have children. Yet the stigma remains. — Jessica Valenti

Wanting to be liked means being a supporting character in your own life, using the cues of the actors around you to determine your next line rather than your own script. It means that your self-worth will always be tied to what someone else thinks about you, forever out of your control. — Jessica Valenti

The Internet is the new public space. And because women are out in public, people don't like that in much the same way that if you're walking down the street you get harassed. I think the same kind of thing happens online, and I think that's why a lot of women are hesitant to put their voice out there. — Jessica Valenti

My problem with the wedding industry started when I studied in college and liked to have the television on in the background, and 'A Wedding Story' on TLC always came on, and I'd get irritated that the story of two people making a lifelong commitment to each other could be encapsulated in a half-hour show about the party they throw. — Jessica Valenti

I think it is effective when activists work from the margins, and I think that's the best way to go about it. And I do think that it's increasingly being more effective with the work that's being done online, that it is a bit more democratized, that whatever kind of activism is being done, it's not necessarily coming from one centralized place. — Jessica Valenti

I think that almost all traditional institutions are sexist, and they're probably racist and homophobic, and they're all of these things. But a lot of them, like marriage, are too embedded into the culture to give up. — Jessica Valenti

Whether it's repro rights, violence against women, or just plain old vanilla sexism, most issues affecting women have one thing in common - they exist to keep women 'in their place.' To make sure that we're acting 'appropriately,' whatever that means. — Jessica Valenti

Making women the sexual gatekeepers and telling men they just can't help themselves not only drives home the point that women's sexuality is unnatural, but also sets up a disturbing dynamic in which women are expected to be responsible for men's sexual behavior. — Jessica Valenti

And really, how insulting is it that to suggest that the best thing women can do is raise other people to do incredible things? I'm betting some of those women would like to do great things of their own. — Jessica Valenti

I think anyone who wants the social, political and economic equality for women can call themselves a feminist. It does get trickier, of course, when you see anti-woman politicians or pundits claiming the feminist label while working hard to dismantle feminist gains. — Jessica Valenti

My parents have a wonderful marriage, but they have been together since my mother was 12, married when they were just teenagers and are barely ever separated. They even work together. As a result, I have always thought of marriage as involving the loss of a certain amount of autonomy. — Jessica Valenti

I think it's important to let kids be kids and be cautious about accelerated sexuality as pressure to mature too quickly. My hackles go up when I see a teacher making kids feel like they are older, special, mature. Let kids be kids. — Jessica Valenti

I think that online harassment has become so ubiquitous on the Internet that a lot of women do feel safer, whatever that means, in spaces where they know like people are not going to bother them in that kind of way. — Jessica Valenti

Women do not get raped because they weren’t careful enough. Women get raped because someone raped them. — Jessica Valenti

Now, should we treat women as independent agents, responsible for themselves? Of course. But being responsible has nothing to do with being raped. Women don’t get raped because they were drinking or took drugs. Women do not get raped because they weren’t careful enough. Women get raped because someone raped them. — Jessica Valenti

I saw an article where the manager of the Pussycat Dolls, which is kind of this like striptease band, girl band, said, oh well, the girls are totally third-wave feminist. This is what third-wave feminism is about. Like you don't get to use that word. You don't get to say that something is feminist as a way to sell back sexism to women, as a way to further consumerist ideas. — Jessica Valenti

When are we going to realize that hating other women - no matter how much money they have or how far they've fallen - is just as bad for ourselves as it is for anyone else? — Jessica Valenti

I think people resist feminism because they're scared. I think for women, they're scared of being picked on or of being called out. — Jessica Valenti

Sex for pleasure, for fun, or even for building relationships is completely absent from our national conversation. Yet taking the joy out of sexuality is a surefire way to ensure not that young women won't have sex, but rather that they'll have it without pleasure. — Jessica Valenti

Because there's no accountability on line in the same way there is in real life, all of a sudden you can say like, yeah, I hate women; I want to kill women. And you can say that online, and not only will you find a place to say it, but you'll find a place to say it where people are like, yeah, me too. — Jessica Valenti

While falling in love is fun, it's not everything, and it's not the antidote to an unfulfilled life, despite what Reese Witherspoon movies may tell you. — Jessica Valenti

I think day care is terrific. Kids get to be around other kids, and they're playing, and they're teaching each other. When I was in college, my summer job was being a preschool teacher. I loved it, and after that experience, I said I can't wait to put my kid in day care because I could see how much they loved it. — Jessica Valenti

If feminism wasn't powerful, if feminism wasn't influential, people wouldn't spend so much time putting it down. — Jessica Valenti

I don't find the wave model very productive, because I think it kind of serves to fan the flames of generational tension, or make it seem like there's more generational tension than there actually is. — Jessica Valenti

There is something to be said for the power of figureheads. After Hillary Clinton became secretary of state, a record number of countries posted female ambassadors to the U.S. - some of whom have dubbed this 'the Hillary effect.' — Jessica Valenti

There were a WHOLE LOTTA us not having sex at Harvard . . . but none of us thought that that was special enough to start a club about it, for pete’s sake. — Jessica Valenti

I hope that by modeling feminism in my own life, work and relationships that it will haut become an organic part of my daughter's life. But I'm also fully prepared for her to become a Republican as a way to rebel as a teenager - that would be just my luck! — Jessica Valenti

It used to be, if you wanted to have a strong, influential voice in the feminist movement, you really needed to be part of this New York/D.C. elite group of feminists, or part of a mainstream feminist organization. And now it's kind of an amazing thing that you can just start a blog and put your voice out there and build your readership. — Jessica Valenti

I think that it's incredibly important that we're actually paying attention to the feminism that's going on on the ground in different countries and see what we can do to support the work that's already going on, as opposed to kind of assuming that we know best for women in other areas. — Jessica Valenti

There's going to be biological differences between the genders. There's going to be biological differences between two women or two men. There's biological differences between all of us. My concern is, why are we so concerned about it? — Jessica Valenti

Instead of focusing on men and focusing on what we can do to prop them up, people seem really incredibly focused on the fact that women are doing well and maybe that's not such a good thing. — Jessica Valenti

I think the idea that feminism is dead is dangerous because it leads women and men to believe that (1) they don't have to do anything; the work has been done, and that everything is okay now; and (2) it leaves them kind of alone, I think, in a struggle, and that's something I've seen a lot when I go to colleges and I speak to young women. — Jessica Valenti

I always go with the dictionary definition of feminism, which is just social, political and economic equality for women. — Jessica Valenti

When I did get married, and specifically after I got married and the New York Times style section featured my wedding in the vows column, which is really traditionally kind of seen as an elitist column, and it is, but I was happy to be in it. I thought it was good that they were covering a feminist wedding. — Jessica Valenti

I think the biggest obstacle I still have to overcome is myself, and just kind of struggling every day with what to do with the work and where to go next. — Jessica Valenti

Something you hear a lot is that feminism dead. But if feminism is dead, why do people try so hard to kill it? — Jessica Valenti

You have to have your personal life, and at the end of the day I think what people forget, especially when you're online, is that you're a person too, right, and that you're not this ideal of feminism, that everything you do like feminism just like falls in your wake. — Jessica Valenti

I think virginity is fine, just as I think having sex is fine. I don't really care what women do sexually, and neither should you. In fact, that's the point. I believe that a young woman's decision to have sex, or not, shouldn't impact how she's seen as a moral actor. — Jessica Valenti

...idea at play here is that of “morality.” When young women are taught about morality, there’s not often talk of compassion, kindness, courage, or integrity. There is, however, a lot of talk about hymens — Jessica Valenti

I grew up definitely a feminist, but I didn't call myself a feminist until I took my first women's studies class in college. — Jessica Valenti

Be as pissed off as you want to be. Don’t hold back because you think it’s unladylike or some such nonsense. We shouldn’t be shamed out of our anger. We should be using it. Using it to make change in our own lives, and using it to make change in the lives around us. (I know, I’m cheesy.) So the next time someone calls you emotional, or asks if you’re PMSing, call them on their bullshit. — Jessica Valenti

Whether people identify as feminists or not, if they're doing work that furthers a feminist cause, I think that's wonderful, like if it works for me, right, it works for the movement. But I do think that personally they're missing out. If you don't identify as a feminist, you're missing out on this whole community that's out there that could really help you with your work, help you with your personal life, and just give you support. — Jessica Valenti

I do think that there is a real crisis of masculinity that's happening in America. I think the problem is - the way it's being framed is that there's a problem with masculinity because women are too powerful, or women are taking up too much space. — Jessica Valenti

I hear from a lot of young women, you know, I don't want to call myself a feminist because I don't want to get in an argument with someone. And it's just not cool; like it's not a cool thing to be associated with. — Jessica Valenti

The biggest thinker that's influenced my feminism is definitely Bell Hooks, who's a feminist cultural critic, because of her accessibility but also just because she's a genius. — Jessica Valenti

The studies about differences between the sexes that you see kind of get propped up in the media are more often than not denigrating women in some way, saying that women really don't have any spatial understanding, and that's why they can't park. — Jessica Valenti

It's time to teach our daughters that their ability to be good people depends on their being good people, not on whether or not they're sexually active. — Jessica Valenti

When it comes to people who are saying really extreme things online, we have the tendency to think that they are just kooks, or that you shouldn't pay attention to them, you shouldn't take them seriously. — Jessica Valenti

In 1986, Gloria Steinem wrote that if men got periods, they 'would brag about how long and how much': that boys would talk about their menstruation as the beginning of their manhood, that there would be 'gifts, religious ceremonies' and sanitary supplies would be 'federally funded and free'. I could live without the menstrual bragging - though mine is particularly impressive - and ceremonial parties, but seriously: Why aren't tampons free? — Jessica Valenti

We've been growing our readership every month, and we're kind of like, where are they all coming from? This is wonderful! And I think one of the best surprises was that you hear so often that young women don't care about feminism, that young women don't identify as feminists. But really, the majority of our readers are young women. So to see so many young people kind of get involved and really take to Feministing.com was a really exciting thing. — Jessica Valenti

I don't think that there's a guy behind the desk at every newspaper saying "No, woman" and sending her on her way, but that's what's systemic about it, right, like that people don't quite realize that maybe they're attracted to a male op-ed more than a female op-ed, or because of networking they know this person from going out to a bar with them. — Jessica Valenti

It's become impossible to enjoy most quality television shows because the hurt or endangered women device is so frequently used. — Jessica Valenti

The cultural insistence that parenting is the 'most important' job in the world is a smart way to satiate unappreciated women without doing a damn thing for them. — Jessica Valenti

claims about what's 'natural' have long been used to reinforce traditional gender roles and values. ... Even the notion that women should have children at all is based on the idea that a woman's inherent and most important role is that of mother. Shockingly, men's 'innate' roles are a lot more fun than the ones bestowed on women. — Jessica Valenti

Social media is not just another way to connect feminist and activist voices - it amplifies our messages as well. — Jessica Valenti

What bothers me the most about the way that people appropriate feminist language is that they are the same people who are - you know, anti-feminists - they're the same people who say that feminism is ruining the family, yet when it behooves them to, they'll say Sara Palin's a feminist - when all of a sudden it works in their favor. — Jessica Valenti

There have been women who stumbled across Feministing randomly, through a bizarre Google search or something, and had no idea what feminism was. They thought it was something older women do, or bought into the hairy bra-burning man-hating stereotype 100 percent. Anything that deviates from that is very exciting for them. — Jessica Valenti

There's no benefit to saying that you're a feminist. But you do kind of get a nice patriarchal pat on the head if you say, oh, I'm not like that, like I'm not one of those crazy feminists, which is something that happens a lot, where young women or young men will express some sort of feminist ideal, will say, you know, I think it's crap that Wal-Mart won't give out emergency contraception, but I'm not one of those crazy feminists. — Jessica Valenti

I think people resist feminism because they're scared. I think for women, they're scared of being picked on or of being called out. I hear from a lot of young women, you know, I don't want to call myself a feminist because I don't want to get in an argument with someone. And it's just not cool; like it's not a cool thing to be associated with. There's no benefit to saying that you're a feminist. — Jessica Valenti

I think feminism has always been global. I think there's feminism everywhere throughout the world. — Jessica Valenti

I think the biggest hurdle American feminists have in terms of taking a more global approach is that too often when you hear American feminists talk about international feminism or women in other countries, it kind of goes along with this condescending point of view like we have to save the women of such-and-such country; we have to help them. — Jessica Valenti

Something you hear a lot is that feminism dead. But if feminism is dead, why do people try so hard to kill it? Something just isn't making sense there. So I think when young women hear like, hey, someone's trying to get something over on me, you know, someone's trying to deliberately keep me away from a movement that could make my life better, I think that really resonates with them. — Jessica Valenti

I've been thinking a lot about Lady Gaga and what she means for feminism. I think - I find her completely fascinating, and I really like what she has to say. — Jessica Valenti

As I grew up and began identifying myself as a feminist, there were plenty of issues that continued to make me question marriage: the father "giving" the bride away, women taking their husband's last name, the white dress, the vows promising to "obey" the groom. And that only covers the wedding. — Jessica Valenti

I revisit old favorites like 'Buffy' and 'Battlestar Galactica' when I'm bored. I am obsessed with 'Scandal.' I love TV. — Jessica Valenti

In 2008, I was one of the young feminist whippersnappers who voted for Barack Obama over Hillary Clinton in the Democratic primaries - or as many of my older counterparts called me at the time, a traitor. — Jessica Valenti

You know, people ask me a lot, well, can you be pro-life and be feminist? Can you be conservative and be feminist? And I think that yeah, maybe personally you can be those things. But I think if you're advocating for legislation, or if you're fighting to limit other women's rights, then you can't really call yourself a feminist. — Jessica Valenti

There's something really terrible about having your BlackBerry next to your bed or having your laptop in the living room when you're talking to someone. The biggest source of stress in my life is the screen, the blogging. — Jessica Valenti

I think that we're our own worst enemies in a lot of ways, especially when it comes to doing work where you're criticized a lot or doing work where there's a lot of hater directed at you; and to not constantly second-guess yourself. — Jessica Valenti

For a lot of women who don't go to college, or for a lot of women who aren't in New York or D.C. or someplace where there's like a large feminist organization they can get involved in, they may be doing feminist work, right, like locally or with a grassroots organization or in their own lives, but if they don't have that support system and if they don't have that availability to feminist language, I think we're missing out on something. — Jessica Valenti

I think motherhood has made issues all feel much more urgent than they did before. So it didn't necessarily change how I feel about certain things - it just fired me up to be even more active on behalf of my daughter. — Jessica Valenti

I think my biggest career mistake has been taking on too much. And I think this is kind of - I think it's related to the Internet world, where you're always multitasking and you have a million windows open and you feel like you can do a lot at the same time. — Jessica Valenti

I think that the ideal of parenting can make people unhappy. It's that this lie that they're being told by society that parenting is one thing - and when parenting is something completely different - that's what makes them unhappy. — Jessica Valenti

If you go to places like YouTube, it's a cesspool, and a lot of the comments are really horrifying and misogynist and harassing. — Jessica Valenti

I do think that we have this incredible opportunity because being on-line - the Internet is a relatively new space - we do have this incredible opportunity to change that dynamic, to make sure that women are present in all sorts of spaces, not just women-only spaces. — Jessica Valenti

[Virginity is] a cultural ideology that conflates passivity - the act of not having sex - with superior morality. — Jessica Valenti

Life Lessons by Jessica Valenti

1. Jessica Valenti's work emphasizes the importance of intersectional feminism and how it can be used to fight against the oppression of all marginalized groups.
2. Her writing also highlights the need to challenge traditional gender roles and dismantle the patriarchy.
3. Lastly, Valenti's work encourages us to use our voices to speak out against injustice and create a more equitable society.