24+ Julie Klausner Quotes On Friendship, Education And World

Julie Klausner is an American author, comedian, podcaster, and television writer. She is best known for her memoir I Don't Care About Your Band and her podcast How Was Your Week. She is also the creator and star of the Hulu show Difficult People. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Julie Klausner on love, friendship, education.

Top 10 Julie Klausner Quotes

1. Cabaret is a great format. All you have to do is sing and be funny sporadically.
2. When I first started on Twitter, a relative asked, 'Aren't you concerned with giving away your jokes?' I don't think of it that way. That's my content, and that's what I do.
3. Podcasts themselves cannot exist without the Internet - in a way they are a microcosm of the Internet.
4. I’m really afraid of spiders and my own feelings.
5. Do you think trees are the new birds? Don’t answer that right away.
6. We don’t use phones anymore in this day and age, yet she still phones things in.
7. It’s important to remember that Mark David Chapman really set a lot of trends: such as the trend of celebrities having bodyguards.
8. If the Cowardly Lion were on RuPaul’s Drag Race, so much of my childhood would be less nightmarish.
9. What else don’t women like besides the Three Stooges? Tom Waits. Being hurt physically or emotionally.
10. Is it a different New York since Lou Reed died? It’s been a different New York since I saw him in his sweatpants at the Cozy Soup ‘n’ Burger.

Julie Klausner Short Quotes

• I consider Greeks the Jews of the sea.
• Fear can be the result of admiration, or it can be a symptom of contempt.
• The only riot I’m okay with is a zoot suit riot.
• Shirley MacLaine: what an asshole.

Julie Klausner Famous Quotes And Sayings

Only sad sacks and conformists need things like no kiss on New Year's Eve to remind them to feel lonely. They're as bad as the people who need St. Patty's Day as an excuse to get drunk or Halloween to wear slutty outfits. You can feel sorry for yourself and dress like a hooker all year round: Hallmark never needs to know. — Julie Klausner

A relationship book I once read told women to use the word fun whenever possible. The author claimed it had a subliminal aphrodisiac effect on men, who want a relaxed girl attached only to good times - the human equivalent of Diet Coke. This is not me. — Julie Klausner

All I know is it’s silly to chase fun when all you need is the ground underneath you to be solid. And I don’t expect to be one of those people that does cartwheels in yogurt commercials. I wanna be the cartoon character in that antidepressant ad who has, like, little lines under her eyes, and the divot in the middle of the pill is the pill’s mouth... have you seen this ad? It’s very good. It’s for Abilify, which is not a word. — Julie Klausner

I'm not big on regret - until time travel actually exists, it seems like a waste of making yourself feel bad — Julie Klausner

The kind of true-life writing that is fun to read - that makes an ally of the reader - is the kind that you are so nervous about putting down on paper that you lock the Word file with a secret password and encrypt it - and all of it. — Julie Klausner

Women who work for escort agencies that assign them out to prostitution dates at sushi restaurants know how to eat with chopsticks, and beyond that they are in every other way identical to other prostitutes. They’re not better looking; they’re not smarter; they’re not classier; they’re not more charming. They probably give more blowjobs than any reasonable woman, right? And they are empty inside, but it’s also society’s fault. — Julie Klausner

Having one of your like dumb sort of stream of consciousness tweets used against you on a right wing website is the ultimate compliment. — Julie Klausner

I just feel like I understand Cameron Diaz better than I ever have before, and I don’t like it. I don’t like to see everything I see. It’s like a magnifying mirror only soulful, and I’m not looking at her, I’m looking at us, you know? And our pores are huge. — Julie Klausner

Any woman I know can smell a boyfriend a mile away. Women are intuitive, they know when a guy is interested but he’s not going to be there for her in that boyfriend-y way. — Julie Klausner

There are good intentions behind many peoples conversion to veganism, including an admirable devotion to the well-being of animals and a justified skepticism about the crap the USDA allows manufacturers to put in our food. But its hard to ignore the often sanctimonious nature of what some nutritionists view as an extremist way of eating. — Julie Klausner

Life Lessons by Julie Klausner

1. Julie Klausner's work emphasizes the importance of being true to yourself and not allowing others to define who you are.
2. She encourages readers to embrace their unique qualities and to never be ashamed of who they are.
3. Through her writing, she encourages readers to take risks and to never be afraid to pursue their dreams.