Mark Twain quotes
Introduction
What are the best Mark Twain quotes? Mark Twain quotations on humor, truth, life, death, people are those, which make this author famous. Here you can read the most famous quotes by Mark Twain sorted by user likes.
Best Mark Twain quotes
Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool.
Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Fueling your body is a process... The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
Acknowledging what you don't know is the dawning of wisdom.
Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -- you see, I have friends in both places.
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
History may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme a lot
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
There isn't a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American.
The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain quotes images
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Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.
A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience this is the ideal life.
A man with a new idea is a crank - until the idea succeeds.
Under certaion circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.
Never regret anything that made you smile.
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.
Actions speak louder than words, but not nearly as often.
When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction.
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which they never show to anybody.
A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born... and the day you find out why.
Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds. Explore. Dream. Discover.
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, by the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing.
Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw of the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in you sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
Its easier to fool people than to convince them they have been fooled.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Where is Mark Twain from? Mark Twain is American. A recognized author. The following quotations and images represent the American peculiarities embed in Mark Twain's character.
What Mark Twain was famous for? Mark Twain is famous author with many good quotes. Wise sayings can be accessed and memorized. Mark Twain is well-known and respected in American society.
Mark Twain quotes about humor
What are the best humor quotations by Mark Twain?
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent.
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
Everyone talks about the weather, but no one does anything about it.
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!
What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
To be, or not to be; that is the bare bodkin That makes calamity of so long life;
Wit and Humor -- if any difference, it is in duration -- lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently; but one is vivid, and can do damage -- the other fools along and enjoys elaboration.
The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.
Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
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Mark Twain quotes about truth
What are the best truth quotations by Mark Twain?
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.
Truth is neither alive nor dead; it just aggravates itself all the time.
No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.
I never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.
When in doubt tell the truth.
Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.
Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
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Mark Twain quotes about life
What are the best life quotations by Mark Twain?
Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself. All day long, the mill of his brain is grinding, and his thoughts, not those of other things, are his history. These are his life, and they are not written. Everyday would make a whole book of 80,000 words -- 365 books a year. Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man -- the biography of the man himself cannot be written.
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the storm of thought that is forever flowing through one's head.
To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.
A myriad of men are born; they labor and sweat and struggle; ...they squabble and scold and fight; they scramble for little mean advantages over each other; age creeps upon them; infirmities follow; ...those they love are taken from them, and the joy of life is turned to aching grief. It comes at last--the only unpoisoned gift earth ever had for them--and they vanish from a world where they were of no consequence, ...a world which will lament them a day and forget them forever.
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
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Mark Twain quotes about death
What are the best death quotations by Mark Twain?
I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
All say, How hard it is that we have to die -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live.
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred million years --and I have suffered more in an hour, in this life, than I remember to have suffered in the whole hundred million years put together. There was a peace, a serenity, an absence of all sense of responsibility, an absence of worry, an absence of care, grief, perplexity; and the presence of a deep content and unbroken satisfaction in that hundred million years of holiday which I look back upon with a tender longing and with a grateful desire to resume, when the opportunity comes.
Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.
We owe a deep debt of gratitude to Adam, the first great benefactor of the human race: he brought death into the world.
We never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead -- and not then until we have been dead years and years. People ought to start dead and then they would be honest so much earlier.
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
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Mark Twain quotes about people
What are the best people quotations by Mark Twain?
Acknowledging what you don't know is the dawning of wisdom.
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we."
What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.
Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great.
The more I learn about people, the better I like my dog.
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More quotes by Mark Twain
Want some more good quotations by Mark Twain?
I can live for two months on a good compliment.
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.
Adam was the luckiest man; he had no mother-in-law.
Education is the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
History is strewn thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill, but a lie, well told, is immortal.
Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: The one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered -- either by themselves or by others.
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.
When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around. When I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.
Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
A man cannot be made comfortable without his own approval.
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things that ain't so.
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants.
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of congress; but I repeat myself.
Everyone is like a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it
Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
The human race has but one really affective weapon, and that is laughter.
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
We are all alike, on the inside.
It is easier to stay out than get out.
Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work.
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
We have the best government that money can buy.
Accident is the name of the greatest of all inventors.
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then Success is sure.
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won t.
A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.
I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it.
Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
I was young and foolish then; now I am old and foolisher.
If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.
You cannot depend on your judgments when your imagination is out of focus.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.
Do something every day that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.
Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
Few sinners are saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.
To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know, I've done it a thousand times.
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.
There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends.
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
He liked to like people, therefore people liked him.
To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler and less trouble.
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
A banker is a fellow who lends his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
Never learn to do anything. If you don't learn, you will always find someone else to do it for you.
If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill came always together, who would escape hanging?
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes.
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.
There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can.
He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.
Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
Never let formal education get in the way of your learning.
It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.
My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.
Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use.
I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
It was the schoolboy who said, Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul.
What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing, he knew nobody had said it before.
Principles aren't of much account anyway, except at election time. After that you hang them up to let them season.
Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It's like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won't fatten the dog.
We need not worry so much about what man descends from; it's what he descends to that shames the human race.
If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature Congressman.
Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
I would rather have my ignorance than another man's knowledge, because I have so much of it.
Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
Obscurity and competence: That is the life that is worth living.
Prosperity is the best protector of principle.
In his private heart no man much respects himself.
Never do wrong when people are looking.
If you have nothing to say, say nothing.
We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks, if we agree with him.
Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing, but cabbage with a college education.
Intellectual work is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.
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Conclusion
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When Mark Twain was born? Mark Twain was born on November 30, 1835.
Who is Mark Twain? Mark Twain biography. Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American author and humorist. He is noted for his novels Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1885), called "the Great American Novel", and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876).Twain grew up in Hannibal, Missouri, which would later provide the setting for Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer. He apprenticed with a printer. He also worked as a typesetter and contributed articles to his older brother Orion's newspaper. After toiling as a printer in various cities, he became a master riverboat pilot on the Mississippi River, before heading west to join Orion. He was a failure at gold mining, so he next turned to journalism. While a reporter, he wrote a humorous story, "The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County," which proved to be very popular and brought him nationwide attention. His travelogues were also well-received. Twain had found his calling.He achieved great success as a writer and public speaker. His wit and satire earned praise from critics and peers, and he was a friend to presidents, artists, industrialists, and European royalty.However, he lacked financial acumen. Though he made a great deal of money from his writings and lectures, he squandered it on various ventures, in particular the Paige Compositor, and was forced to declare bankruptcy. With the help of Henry Huttleston Rogers, however, he eventually overcame his financial troubles. Twain worked hard to ensure that all of his creditors were paid in full, even though his bankruptcy had relieved him of the legal responsibility.Born during a visit by Halley's Comet, he died on its return. He was lauded as the "greatest American humorist of his age", and William Faulkner called Twain "the father of American literature".Excerpted from Wikipedia.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Part 1
Introduction
Part 2
Best Mark Twain quotes
Top 10 quotes by Mark Twain
Top 10 picture quotes by Mark Twain
Part 3
Mark Twain quotes images
Part 4
Humor
Truth
Life
Death
People
All quotes
Part 5
Similar Authors
Part 6
Favorite topics
Part 7
Conclusion