Mark Twain was an American author and humorist. He is most famous for his novels The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Twain was a master of wit and satire, and his works remain popular more than a century after their initial publication. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Mark Twain on life, travel, love.
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it.
Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot
Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.
Mark Twain Quotes About Life
Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. — Mark Twain
The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one. — Mark Twain
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option. — Mark Twain
Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life. — Mark Twain
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. — Mark Twain
Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile. — Mark Twain
God created war so that Americans would learn geography. — Mark Twain
Good judgement is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgement. — Mark Twain
It's better to be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a pessimist who is always right — Mark Twain
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well. — Mark Twain
Mark Twain Quotes About Travel
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime. — Mark Twain
A little lie can travel half way 'round the world while Truth is still lacing up her boots. — Mark Twain
I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them. — Mark Twain
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness. — Mark Twain
A country without a patent office and good patent laws is just a crab, and can't travel any way but sideways and backways. — Mark Twain
The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation. — Mark Twain
In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel. — Mark Twain
It liberates the vandal to travel-you never saw a bigoted, opinionated, stubborn, narrow-minded, self-conceited, almighty mean man in your life but he had stuck in one place since he was born and thought God made the world and dyspepsia and bile for his especial comfort and satisfaction. — Mark Twain
We love old travelers: we love to hear them prate, drivel and lie; we love them for their asinine vanity, their ability to bore, their luxuriant fertility of imagination, their startling, brilliant, overwhelming mendacity. — Mark Twain
We wish to learn all the curious, outlandish ways of all the different countries, so that we can "show off" and astonish people when we get home. We wish to excite the envy of our untraveled friends with our strange foreign fashions which we can't shake off. — Mark Twain
Mark Twain Quotes About Love
The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's. — Mark Twain
The secret of getting ahead is getting started — Mark Twain
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. — Mark Twain
I simply can´t resist a cat, particularly a purring one. They are the cleanest, cunningest, and most intelligent things I know, outside of the girl you love, of course. — Mark Twain
When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction. — Mark Twain
A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies. — Mark Twain
Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it. — Mark Twain
It's lovely to live on a raft. We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened. — Mark Twain
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century. — Mark Twain
Man is a marvelous curiosity...he thinks he is the Creator's pet...he even believes the Creator loves him; has passion for him; sits up nights to admire him; yes and watch over him and keep him out of trouble. He prays to him and thinks he listens. Isn't it a quaint idea. — Mark Twain
Mark Twain Quotes About Success
Success is a journey, not a destination. It requires constant effort, vigilance and reevaluation. — Mark Twain
Synergy - the bonus that is achieved when things work together harmoniously. — Mark Twain
Make your vocation your vacation. That is the secret to success. — Mark Twain
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambition. — Mark Twain
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. — Mark Twain
Great things can happen when you don't care who gets the credit. — Mark Twain
A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it. — Mark Twain
Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. — Mark Twain
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. — Mark Twain
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. — Mark Twain
New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions. — Mark Twain
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths — Mark Twain
Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever. — Mark Twain
I would rather go to bed with Lillian Russell stark naked than Ulysses S Grant in full military regalia. — Mark Twain
My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess; second, don't drink - to excess; third, don't marry - to excess. — Mark Twain
A marriage. . .will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life. — Mark Twain
Love is an irreresisistible desire to be irresistibily desired. — Mark Twain
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. — Mark Twain
Marriage -- yes, it is the supreme felicity of life. I concede it. And it is also the supreme tragedy of life. The deeper the love the surer the tragedy. And the more disconsolating when it comes. — Mark Twain
Mark Twain Quotes About Writing
I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English - it is the modern way and the best way. Stick to it; don't let fluff and flowers and verbosity creep in. — Mark Twain
Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words. — Mark Twain
To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art, if my position is correct. — Mark Twain
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. — Mark Twain
The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction. By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is you really want to say. — Mark Twain
Don't look at the world with your hands in your pockets. To write about it you have to reach out and touch it. — Mark Twain
To get the right word in the right place is a rare achievement. — Mark Twain
When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them--then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are far apart. — Mark Twain
One should never use exclamation points in writing. It is like laughing at your own joke. — Mark Twain
Mark Twain Quotes About Truth
It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense. — Mark Twain
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't. — Mark Twain
If you tell the truth you do not need a good memory! — Mark Twain
Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth. — Mark Twain
Among other common lies, we have the silent lie - the deception which one conveys by simply keeping still and concealing the truth. Many obstinate truth-mongers indulge in this dissipation, imagining that if they speak no lie, they lie not at all. — Mark Twain
Never let the truth get in the way of a good story. — Mark Twain
The truth hurts, but silence kills. — Mark Twain
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it. — Mark Twain
When in doubt tell the truth. It will confound your enemies and astound your friends. — Mark Twain
Always tell the truth. That way you don't have to remember what you said. — Mark Twain
Mark Twain Quotes About Congress
Our lives, our liberty, and our property are never in greater danger than when Congress is in session. — Mark Twain
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress. — Mark Twain
All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity. — Mark Twain
Congressman is the trivialist distinction for a full grown man. — Mark Twain
I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature, Congressman. — Mark Twain
The lightning there is peculiar; it is so convincing, that when it strikes a thing it doesn't leave enough of that thing behind for you to tell whether-Well, you'd think it was something valuable, and a Congressman had been there. — Mark Twain
Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues. — Mark Twain
When congress is in session no American is safe. — Mark Twain
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. — Mark Twain
Mark Twain Quotes About War
Prohibition only drives drunkenness behind doors and into dark places, and does not cure it or even diminish it. — Mark Twain
A public library is the most enduring of memorials, the trustiest monument for the preservation of an event or a name or an affection; for it, and it only, is respected by wars and revolutions, and survives them. — Mark Twain
Man is the only animal that deals in that atorcity of atrocities, War. He is the only one that gathers his brethren about him and goes forth in cold blood and calm pulse to exterminate his kind. — Mark Twain
Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them. — Mark Twain
All war must be just the killing of strangers against whom you feel no personal animosity; strangers whom, in other circumstances, you would help if you found them in trouble, and who would help you if you needed it. — Mark Twain
I am an anti-imperialist. I am opposed to having the eagle put its talons on any other land. — Mark Twain
But they (the infantry) had no use for boys of twelve and thirteen, and before I had a chance in another war, the desire to kill people to whom I had not been introduced had passed away. — Mark Twain
A wanton waste of projectiles. — Mark Twain
The statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is being attacked, and every man will be glad of these conscience-soothing falsities — Mark Twain
Every one knew he could foretell wars and famines, though that was not so hard, for there was always a war, and generally a famine somewhere. — Mark Twain
Mark Twain Quotes About Humorous
No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session. — Mark Twain
Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar. — Mark Twain
April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four. — Mark Twain
Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point. — Mark Twain
One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her; and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques. — Mark Twain
In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language. — Mark Twain
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. — Mark Twain
He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces. — Mark Twain
The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy - give one and take ten — Mark Twain
I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect. — Mark Twain
Mark Twain Quotes About People
How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and [how] hard it is to undo that work again! — Mark Twain
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. — Mark Twain
You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can't forget. Those are your 'friends — Mark Twain
Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest. — Mark Twain
Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity? — Mark Twain
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. — Mark Twain
You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help? — Mark Twain
Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many. — Mark Twain
There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded. — Mark Twain
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. — Mark Twain
Mark Twain Quotes About World
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. — Mark Twain
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare. — Mark Twain
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. — Mark Twain
There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus and upset the convictions and debauch the emotions of an audience not practiced in the tricks and delusions of oratory — Mark Twain
I wonder how much it would take to buy a soap bubble, if there were only one in the world. — Mark Twain
Of all the animals, man is the only one that lies. — Mark Twain
When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else. — Mark Twain
Sane and intelligent human beings are like all other human beings, and carefully and cautiously and diligently conceal their private real opinions from the world and give out fictitious ones in their stead for general consumption. — Mark Twain
The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things that ain't so. — Mark Twain
A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants. — Mark Twain
Mark Twain Quotes About Humor
The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. — Mark Twain
If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go. — Mark Twain
A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime. — Mark Twain
I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces. — Mark Twain
I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time. — Mark Twain
Diligence is a good thing, but taking things easy is much more restful. — Mark Twain
There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that. — Mark Twain
The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow. — Mark Twain
Wagner’s music is better than it sounds. — Mark Twain
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever. — Mark Twain
Mark Twain Famous Quotes And Sayings
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. — Mark Twain
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. — Mark Twain
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. — Mark Twain
Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection. — Mark Twain
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. — Mark Twain
When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years. — Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. — Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. — Mark Twain
Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest. — Mark Twain
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. — Mark Twain
Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life. — Mark Twain
If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times. — Mark Twain
I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it. — Mark Twain
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. — Mark Twain
No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot — Mark Twain
Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe. — Mark Twain
Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you. — Mark Twain
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. — Mark Twain
Focus more on your desire than on your doubt, and the dream will take care of itself. — Mark Twain
To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with. — Mark Twain
Don't let schooling interfere with your education. — Mark Twain
The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for. — Mark Twain
There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy. — Mark Twain
An open mind leaves a chance for someone to drop a worthwhile thought in it. — Mark Twain
Heaven is by favor; if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made (man) is the most detestable. Of the entire brood, he is the only one... that possesses malice. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain. — Mark Twain
Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference. — Mark Twain
The newspaper that obstructs the law on a trivial pretext, for money's sake, is a dangerous enemy to the public weal.That awful power, the public opinion of a nation, is created in America by a horde of ignorant, self-complacent simpletons who failed at ditching and shoemaking and fetched up in journalism on their way to the poorhouse. — Mark Twain
A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation. — Mark Twain
If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it. — Mark Twain
Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today. — Mark Twain
The nation is divided, half patriots and half traitors, and no man can tell which from which. — Mark Twain
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. — Mark Twain
Everyone is like a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. — Mark Twain
We have the best government that money can buy. — Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. — Mark Twain
Don't dream your life, but live your dream — Mark Twain
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. — Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. — Mark Twain
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company. — Mark Twain
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. — Mark Twain
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain. — Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. — Mark Twain
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough. — Mark Twain
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. — Mark Twain
So much blood has been shed by the Church because of an omission from the Gospel: “Ye shall be indifferent as to what your neighbor's religion is.” Not merely tolerant of it, but indifferent to it. Divinity is claimed for many religions; but no religion is great enough or divine enough to add that new law to its code. — Mark Twain
Names are not always what they seem. — Mark Twain
The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are. — Mark Twain
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. — Mark Twain
Put all your eggs in one basket and then watch that basket. — Mark Twain
A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by and by. — Mark Twain
Sacred cows make the best hamburger. — Mark Twain
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. — Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them. — Mark Twain
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. — Mark Twain
The air up there in the clouds is very pure and fine, bracing and delicious. And why shouldn't it be?--it is the same the angels breathe. — Mark Twain
In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot. — Mark Twain
Life Lessons by Mark Twain
Mark Twain taught us to appreciate the small moments in life and to always strive to be the best version of ourselves. He believed that life should be lived to the fullest and that it is important to never take anything for granted.
He also encouraged us to be open minded and to think for ourselves, to question the status quo and to never be afraid to speak up for what we believe in.
Lastly, he taught us to always have a sense of humor and to not take ourselves too seriously, as life is too short to be weighed down by stress and worry.
Citation
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