Mark Twain Quotes

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.

Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.

Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool.

Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.

Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

Fueling your body is a process... The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -- you see, I have friends in both places.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Acknowledging what you don't know is the dawning of wisdom.

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.

It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.

History may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme a lot

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.

There isn't a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American.

When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

I can live for two months on a good compliment.

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.

Education is the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Adam was the luckiest man; he had no mother-in-law.

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.

Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.

Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: The one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.

I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.

Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.

Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered -- either by themselves or by others.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it

It is easier to stay out than get out.

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around. When I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.

The human race has but one really affective weapon, and that is laughter.

A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants.

Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.