Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
— Mark Twain
The most provocative Mark Twain quotes that are guaranted to improve your brain
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.
Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.
Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
Try the Top 10 quotes and images by Mark Twain
Or check the curated lists with quotes from Mark Twain:
• Quotes about Humor
• Quotes about Life
• Quotes about People
• Quotes about Truth
• Quotes about Death
The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and [how] hard it is to undo that work again!
You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can't forget. Those are your 'friends

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life.
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it.
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.
Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
The trouble with the world is not that people know too little;
it's that they know so many things that just aren't so.
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Success is a journey, not a destination. It requires constant effort, vigilance and reevaluation.
Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool.
If we would learn what the human race really is at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.
When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.
God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
Focus more on your desire than on your doubt, and the dream will take care of itself.
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you.
This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Good judgement is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgement.
To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot
Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
It's better to be an optimist who is sometimes wrong than a pessimist who is always right
Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.