43+ Kristen Schaal Quotes On Friendship, Snl And Earth

Kristen Schaal is an American actress, comedian, and writer. She is best known for her roles as Mel on the HBO series Flight of the Conchords and Louise Belcher on the FOX animated comedy Bob's Burgers. She is also known for her appearances on The Daily Show and The Last Man on Earth. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Kristen Schaal on love, life, friendship.

Top 10 Kristen Schaal Quotes

1. Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.
2. Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go.
3. I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome.
4. No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me.
5. Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.
6. I would love for people to know that the label feminist is something that everyone should wear proudly, because it just means that you support women.
7. This is very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm just gonna go ahead and find Amelia Earhart. Every day that goes by, I just fear the worst for her.
8. Mel: Does Bret's girlfriend look anything like me? Murray: A little, around the eyes. Mel: Oh yeah? Big eyes huh? Murray: Well... she's got eyes.
9. Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.
10. I'm just happy our nations are on the same page of keeping shitty reality TV on the air. Small world!

Kristen Schaal Short Quotes

• If you are feeling overly optimistic the Republican Candidates Debate is on.
• Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.
• You know, quite a few species of fish require two or more sexual partners.
• Sarcasm doesn't read sarcastic in print.
• Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.
• Just because I'm married to Doug doesn't mean I can't be here for you.
• All the best movies are the ones that are cut from a more middle ground.
• One good thing about being locked in a cage: No responsibility!
• Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.
• As you can see, I speak many languages, including the language of sex.

Kristen Schaal Quotes About Funny

The first time I was on TV, on "Flight of the Conchords," someone put up a YouTube clip and said, 'You're too ugly to be on TV.' And I was like, 'That is exactly why it's a good thing that I'm on TV.' — Kristen Schaal

1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move. — Kristen Schaal

Some women were talking about how I put out. And that's just not that case. I don't put out - unless I'm asked very, very politely, and that's not putting out, that's just giving in. — Kristen Schaal

The torture that they are coming up with in China is so creative. They have this other method where they'll take a bamboo and they'll plant it in your anus and just let it grow. So patient. Man, watch out for China, I say. They have all the ambition as we do but none of the heart. — Kristen Schaal

I wanted to make sure that my act was family friendly for tonight, but I don't have babies. So I thought that maybe I could pretend that I had babies and that way I could appeal to the people in the audience who have babies and to the people who like to pretend that they have babies. — Kristen Schaal

Another goal that I have is to learn how to play the ukulele - should be fun - and to stop taking my clothes off for money. But I need money. That is a ridiculous goal. I'm gonna cross that one off. That's stupid. — Kristen Schaal

If I'm having a fancy glass of champagne, I'll always mix it with the champagne of beers. Because I deserve all the champagnes. — Kristen Schaal

Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys? — Kristen Schaal

You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome. — Kristen Schaal

At first the kid kicking the back of my airplane seat was enraging. Then I imagined it was a broken massage chair and I kinda liked it. — Kristen Schaal

Kristen Schaal Famous Quotes And Sayings

I think growing up on a farm in a certain amount of isolation, with not a lot of friends nearby, makes you entertain yourself and kind of grows your imagination - being alone is quite good for all that. You make up stories, talk to the animals, let them be an audience, a bunch of cows. — Kristen Schaal

I'm so happy to be around people. I just really like people, and being a freelancer can be lonely during the day, when you're at home trying to write anything you can. — Kristen Schaal

I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe. — Kristen Schaal

The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost. — Kristen Schaal

I prefer writing for myself to perform, I guess. But if I had to choose, I'd rather perform in someone's movie than write a movie for someone else. — Kristen Schaal

I think I've always had a disconnect from what I'm supposed to be like. — Kristen Schaal

I would like to be known as someone who was really sweet but also knowledgeable in all areas of life. — Kristen Schaal

He resisted for a while and there were some legal boundaries, you know, keeping me from being near him or his family, but in the end, love overcame. And I got what I wanted. I always get what I want. — Kristen Schaal

I mean if you two were to make love, that would be gay. Two men touching each other physically and emotionally...erotically caressing each other...on the hood of a car...or the back of a movie theater. — Kristen Schaal

I'd hate to be a writer forever and never perform, and I'd hate to perform and not write. I get sad if time has passed and I haven't written or made anything. I'm an artist. — Kristen Schaal

If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? — Kristen Schaal

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths. — Kristen Schaal

I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm...I'm hungry actually. — Kristen Schaal

Life Lessons by Kristen Schaal

1. Kristen Schaal is an example of how hard work and dedication can pay off, as she has achieved success in both comedic and dramatic roles.
2. She has also shown that it is possible to be both funny and smart, as she has written for and starred in many comedic projects.
3. Finally, she is a testament to the power of staying true to yourself, as she has remained true to her unique style of comedy throughout her career.