It is so tempting to return rudeness with rudeness!

— Mallory Ortberg

The most promising Mallory Ortberg quotes that will activate your inner potential

To stop challenging someone from using anti-gay language simply because they persist in using anti-gay language strikes me as a defeatist approach.

12

Reconciliation is not possible when one party asks the other to obliterate all signs of their relationship.

11

Bad dental hygiene can lead to respiratory infections and an increased risk for heart disease and strokes.

8

Depression cannot be overcome by listing a series of good things in one's life, any more than a broken foot can be healed by thinking about all the other bones you have that aren't broken.

8

You can care very much about someone without being capable of becoming their primary caregiver in the event of their parents' untimely death.

5

There has to be some kind of personal hygiene bar that a person needs to clear in order for a relationship to be successful.

5

So many people choose silence after the immediate wake of a death out of fear of saying something out of turn or "bringing up bad memories" that bereaved people often feel forgotten.

5

LGBT youth face a much higher risk of violence and homelessness after being rejected by their family of origin.

4

It's one thing to be a high achiever;

it's quite another to privately sneer at your girlfriend's friends after feigning friendliness because they have the "misfortune" to drive a bus for a living.

4

I'm pretty sure there's no sexuality that justifies constant low-level harassment.

3

Addicts sometimes have a penchant for becoming the center of attention at other people's celebrations.

3

If your partner asks you if something bothers you, and something bothers you, the best thing you can do is say, "Yes, it bothers me." Otherwise you create a situation where they think everything is fine, continue with the offending behavior, while you build up a secret reservoir of resentment that will eventually come pouring out, to their shock.

2

About Mallory Ortberg

Quotes 87 sayings
Profession Author
Birthday November 28, 1986

I do not think it is selfish to want to donate a kidney "only" to family members.

1

A woman who repeatedly asks a man she knows to be gay when he's going to get married and have children is not trying to let sleeping dogs lie.

1

Anyone who wants to pretend that your Huntington's disease is an invention is someone who does not have your best interests at heart.

1

If just one person touches you without your permission, stepping back and saying clearly, "Please don't touch me" should get them to stop.

0

We are all going to die, sometimes even in the middle of a lease.

0

It can't hurt to have a backup.

0

I think that it's a great idea to have honest conversations about children before getting married. I also think it's impossible to promise someone, "What I want right now will never change, and as long as I promise you I do - or don't - want a child - or a specific number of children - before we get married, we will never have to experience fear, anxiety, uncertainty, or the pain of not getting what we want, when we want it.

0

You who have suffered so much do not want to be with the kind of person who makes "black widow" jokes to deal with an uncomfortable, painful moment. You should be with a person capable of great compassion and understanding.

0

I'm of the belief that dating "potential" is almost always an exercise in frustration.

0

I don't know of any way to control the subject of one's dreams although I'm fairly certain there are more than a few types of psychoanalysis dedicated to the topic.

0

Not wanting to give everyone in your life one of your kidneys is not the same thing as hoping they die of kidney failure.

0

One of the glorious things about being a person in the world is that you don't have to worry about whether or not someone else is trying to be creepy.

0

Tenancy laws can be so complicated; I want to make sure OP is protected as much as possible.

0

As long as you don't think he's just pretending not to mind for your sake, it sounds like he has truly accepted that blow jobs are too difficult and painful for you to perform, and he's still very satisfied with your sex life. Take him at his word.

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If and when you do decide to share your experience with your husband, it should be because you feel ready to do so, not for any other reason.

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As you feel increasingly comfortable around your friends, I think it's more than fine to share the basic details of your heroin addiction with them. If they seem receptive, you can feel free to talk about it in further detail; if they seem judgmental or uncomfortable, you can move on to other topics.

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Kids know when they're getting yelled at and mocked, I can assure you.

0

I agree that biphobia is real, but I think it's absolutely worth considering that someone who "despises" having sex with her husband - and men in general - may not be interested in men sexually.

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Reciprocating oral sex is, in general, a very good idea!

0

A child is not a bargaining chip or a learning tool.

Your focus, if you adopt a child of a different race, should be on nurturing and protecting your child from bigotry, not deploying him or her as an anti-racist Mr. Fix-It.

0

"Not being virulently and overtly racist against black people" and "treating gay people like human beings" are necessary conditions of greatness.

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Letting events end is not rude. Everything ends.

0

Some struggling marriages can be salvaged with hard work and counseling;

others should be dismantled and stripped for parts.

0

You have a right to be treated professionally at work, and it's your supervisor's job to make sure all their employees can perform their duties comfortably and safely.

0

There are few things more disconcerting than realizing the first date you thought went so well was in fact a dud.

0

If you don't like potlucks, the solution to your problem is "don't go to potlucks," not "insist other people don't have them."

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I'm of the opinion that it is always a kind and appropriate decision to get in touch with someone who's lost a loved one to remind them that you're thinking of them and have fond memories of the deceased.

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Knowledge of death is the beginning of wisdom.

0

Acting politely in front of someone black and/or gay and then making horrible claims about their intelligence or worth as human beings after they leave the room is not kindness - it's hypocrisy.

0

You, too, will someday die, perhaps under inconvenient circumstances, at a time when you do not particularly wish to, and for causes that you cannot yet predict.

0

Don't let a friend make you feel publicly uncomfortable indefinitely just because they're probably a lesbian.

0

If your wife briefly corrects someone with "Actually, I'm bisexual" during conversation, it hardly sounds like attempting to remain an object of desire to me. If she went around saying, "Actually, I'm still very interested in men, particularly you, you massive dose of sexual charisma," you might have a case.

0

Many fathers go their entire lives without announcing how sexy their son's old girlfriends are.

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You don't need to hide the fact that you're in recovery, but you don't have to share your history of addiction with acquaintances at work, either.

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An adult woman should not be so possessive of her own birthday that she begrudges her friends the chance to get married on the same day.

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Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or any better, we just face a different set of challenges than most sexual people.

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I don't think it's a requirement that a happy, fulfilling relationship also provide the best sex of all time.

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