Nathaniel Branden was an American psychotherapist and writer known for his work in the psychology of self-esteem. He was a major proponent of Ayn Rand's Objectivism, and wrote several books on the subject. He is best known for his work on the six pillars of self-esteem, which he described in his 1994 book The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Nathaniel Branden on love, education, relationships.
Self esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves.
Self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship to myself.
One of the hardest expressions of self-assertiveness is challenging your limiting beliefs.
Live with integrity, respect the rights of other people, and follow your own bliss.
If you overcome your fear to ask someone for a date, a raise, or help with a project, that is an act of self-assertiveness. You are moving out into life rather than contracting and withdrawing.
Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is more important than the judgment we pass on ourselves.
The greater a child’s terror, and the earlier it is experienced, the harder it becomes to develop a strong and healthy sense of self.
A commitment to lifelong learning is a natural expression of the practice of living consciously.
There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will be to treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity.
Nathaniel Branden inspirational quote
Nathaniel Branden Image Quotes
Self esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves. — Nathaniel Branden
Nathaniel Branden Short Quotes
The stability we cannot find in the world, we must create within our own persons.
A goal without an action plan is a daydream.
Be careful what you say to your children. They may agree with you.
When your principles seem to be demanding suicide, clearly it's time to check your premises
The world belongs to those who persevere.
Freedom is still the most radical idea of all.
Integrity is congruence between what you know, what you profess, and what you do.
It is very difficult to accept in others emotions you cannot accept in yourself.
Sometimes pain is easier to bear alone than happiness.
Integrity means congruence. Words and behavior match.
Nathaniel Branden Quotes About Love
To love is to see myself in you and to wish to celebrate myself with you. What I love is the embodiment of my values in another person. Love is an act of self-assertion, self-expression and a celebration of being alive. — Nathaniel Branden
Romantic love is a passionate spiritual-emotional-sexual attachment between a man and a woman that reflects a high regard for the value of each other's person. — Nathaniel Branden
Even when our life is most difficult, it is important to remember that something within us is keeping us alive- the life force-that lift us, energizes us, pulls us back sometimes from the abyss of despair. True spirituality does not exist without love of life. — Nathaniel Branden
One of the characteristics of love relationships that flower is a relatively high degree of mutual self-disclosure — Nathaniel Branden
The reputation you have with yourself - your self-esteem - is the single most important factor for a fulfilling life. — Nathaniel Branden
Anyone who really loves you wants you to be authentic. And anyone who doesn't want you to be authentic doesn't really love you. — Nathaniel Branden
Fully to surrender to love can be terrifying. But it is the price life asks in exchange for the possibility of ecstasy. — Nathaniel Branden
How do we nurture the soul? By revering our own life. By learning to love it all, not only the joys and the victories, but also the pain and the struggles. — Nathaniel Branden
It is a curious paradox of human history that a doctrine that tells human beings to regard themselves as sacrificial animals has been accepted as a doctrine representing benevolence and love for mankind. — Nathaniel Branden
If you feel inadequate to face challenges, unworthy of love or respect, untitled to happiness, and fear assertive thought, wants, or needs- if you lack basic self trust, self-respect, and self-confidence- your self-esteem deficiency will limit you, no matter what other assets you possess. — Nathaniel Branden
Nathaniel Branden Quotes About Relationships
Where we see self esteem, we see self acceptance. High self esteem individual tend to avoid falling into an adversarial relationship with themselves. — Nathaniel Branden
If you bring five percent more awareness to your work tomorrow, or to your most important relationship, what might you do differently? Are you willing to find out? — Nathaniel Branden
Whether in the workplace or in personal relationships, success belongs to those who are willing to take responsibility for attaining their desires-those who respond to life actively rather than passively. — Nathaniel Branden
Loving consciously does not mean subjecting your relationship to endless analysis. It means something much simpler: paying attention. Noticing. This requires presence. — Nathaniel Branden
The first love affair you must consummate is the love affair with yourself. Only then are you ready for a romantic relationship. — Nathaniel Branden
Nathaniel Branden Quotes About Self
In any culture, subculture, or family in which belief is valued above thought, and self-surrender is valued above self-expression, and conformity is valued above integrity, those who preserve their self-esteem are likely to be heroic exceptions. — Nathaniel Branden
It is naive to think that self-assertiveness is easy. To live self-assertively--which means to live authentically--is an act of high courage. That is why so many people spend the better part of their lives in hiding--from others and also from themselves. — Nathaniel Branden
Persons of high self-esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others; they do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is being who they are, not in being better than someone else. — Nathaniel Branden
To preserve an unclouded capacity for the enjoyment of life is an unusual moral and psychological achievement. Contrary to popular belief, it is not the prerogative of mindlessness, but the exact opposite: It is the reward of self-esteem. — Nathaniel Branden
Your choices have psychological consequences. The way you choose to deal with reality, truth, facts - your choice to honor or dishonor your own perceptions - registers in your mind, for good or for bad, and either confirms and strengthens your self-esteem or undermines and weakens it. — Nathaniel Branden
A bully hides his fears with fake bravado. That is the opposite of self-assertiveness. — Nathaniel Branden
To attain "success" without attaining positive self-esteem is to be condemned to feeling like an imposter anxiously awaiting exposure. — Nathaniel Branden
If we do have realistic confidence in our mind and value, if we feel secure within ourselves, we tend to experience the world as open to us and to respond appropriately to challenges and opportunities. — Nathaniel Branden
There is no value-judgment more important to a man--no factor more decisive in his psychological development and motivation--than the estimate he passes on himself. — Nathaniel Branden
Our motive is not to prove our self-worth, but to live up to our possibilities. — Nathaniel Branden
Nathaniel Branden Quotes About Self-esteem
One of the most significant characteristics of healthy self esteem is that it is the state of one who is not at war either with himself or with others. — Nathaniel Branden
As you grow in self-esteem, your face, manner, way of talking and moving will tend naturally to project the pleasure you take in being alive. — Nathaniel Branden
To trust one’s mind and to know that one is worthy of happiness is the essence of self-esteem. — Nathaniel Branden
Of all the judgments you make in life, none is as important as the one you make about yourself. The difference between low self-esteem and high self-esteem is the difference between passivity and action, between failure and success. — Nathaniel Branden
Self-esteem is not a luxury; it is a profound spiritual need. — Nathaniel Branden
If you have high self-esteem, you might still know times of emotional suffering, but less often and with faster recovery-your resilience is greater. — Nathaniel Branden
I have to respect other's opinions even if I don't agree with them. — Nathaniel Branden
Respect starts with ourselves. — Nathaniel Branden
The desire for self-esteem without integrity is like the desire for wealth without effort-a longing for the unearned. — Nathaniel Branden
High self esteem people can surely be knocked down by an excess of troubles, but they are quickerto pick themselves up again. — Nathaniel Branden
Nathaniel Branden Quotes About Respect
The feeling that "I am enough" does not mean that I have nothing to learn, nothing further to achieve, and nowhere to grow to. It means that I accept myself, that I am not on trial in my own eyes, that I value and respect myself. This is not an act of indulgence but of courage. — Nathaniel Branden
Self-respecting men and women think about the consequences of their actions-and are willing to take responsibility for them. — Nathaniel Branden
Some people stand and move as if they have no right to the space they occupy. They wonder why others often fail to treat them with respect-not realizing that they have signaled others that it is not necessary to treat them with respect. — Nathaniel Branden
Self-esteem is a powerful force within each of us... Self-esteem is the experience that we are appropriate to life and to the requirements of life. — Nathaniel Branden
Nathaniel Branden Quotes About Esteem
The lies most devastating to our self-esteem are not so much the lies we tell as the lies we live. — Nathaniel Branden
It would be hard to name a more certain sign of poor self-esteem than the need to perceive some other group as inferior. — Nathaniel Branden
The higher our self-esteem, the stronger the drive to express ourselves, reflecting the sense of richness within. The lower our self-esteem, the more urgent the need to "prove" ourselves or to forget ourselves by living mechanically and unconsciously. — Nathaniel Branden
Your life is important. Fight for it. Honour your highest potentials. — Nathaniel Branden
We tend to feel most comfortable, "most at home", with people whose self esteem level resembles our own. — Nathaniel Branden
Nathaniel Branden Famous Quotes And Sayings
The practice of assertiveness: being authentic in our dealings with others; treating our values and persons with decent respect in social contexts; refusing to fake the reality of who we are or what we esteem in order to avoid disapproval; the willingness to stand up for ourselves and our ideas in appropriate ways in appropriate contexts. — Nathaniel Branden
Self esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves. — Nathaniel Branden
How do we keep our inner fire alive? Two things, at minimum, are needed: an ability to appreciate the positives in our life – and a commitment to action. Every day, it's important to ask and answer these questions: ‘What's good in my life?’ and ‘What needs to be done? — Nathaniel Branden
What a great teacher, a great parent, a great psychotherapist and a great coach have in common is a deep belief in the potential of the person with whom they are concerned. They relate to the person from their vision of his or her worth and value. — Nathaniel Branden
It is impressive to see a person who has been battered by life in many ways, who is torn by a variety of unsolved problems, who may be alienated from many aspects of the self-but who is still fighting, still struggling, still striving to find the path to a fulfilling existence, moved by the wisdom of knowing, "I am more than my problems." — Nathaniel Branden
In the nature of our existence, we must act to achieve values. And in order to act appropriately, we need to value the beneficiary of our actions. In order to seek values, we must consider ourselves worthy of enjoying them. In order to fight for our happiness, we must consider ourselves worthy of happiness. — Nathaniel Branden
If my aim is to prove I am 'enough,' the project goes on to infinity-because the battle was already lost on the day I conceded the issue was debatable. — Nathaniel Branden
A depression is a large-scale decline in production and trade...there is nothing in the nature of a free-market economy to cause such an event. — Nathaniel Branden
Most of us are taught from an early age to pay far more attention to signals coming from other people than from within. We are encouraged to ignore our own needs and wants and to concentrate on living up to others expectations. — Nathaniel Branden
Every day, it's important to ask and answer these questions: "What's good in my life?" and "What needs to be done?" — Nathaniel Branden
The real basic power of an individual isn't what he or she knows; it's the ability to think and learn and face new challenges. — Nathaniel Branden
Anyone who engages in the practice of psychotherapy confronts every day the devastation wrought by the teachings of religion. — Nathaniel Branden
For children mastery entails struggle. This means they must be permitted to struggle. If parents inappropriately step in to "help"-out of impatience or solicitude-they sabotage important learning. Among other things, the child is unlikely to discover the advantages of perseverance and self-discipline. — Nathaniel Branden
We are anxious when there is a dissonance between our "knowledge" and the perceivable facts. Since our "knowledge" is not to be doubted or questioned, it is the facts that have to be altered. — Nathaniel Branden
To live consciously means to seek to be aware of everything that bears on our actions, purposes, values, and goals—to the best of our ability, whatever that ability may be—and to behave in accordance with that which we see and know. — Nathaniel Branden
Suppose you feel you cannot accept some fact about yourself. Then own your refusal to accept. Own the block. Embrace it fully. And watch it begin to disappear. The principal is this: Begin where you are-accept that. Then change and growth become possible. — Nathaniel Branden
A well-developed sense of self is a necessary if not sufficient condition of your well-being. Its presence does not guarantee fulfillment, but its absence guarantees some measure of anxiety, frustration, or despair. — Nathaniel Branden
Taking on responsibilities that properly belong to someone else means behaving irresponsibly toward yourself. You need to know where you end and someone else begins. You need to understand boundaries. You need to know what is and is not up to you, what is and is not in your control, what is and is not your responsibility. — Nathaniel Branden
The greatest barrier to achievement and success is not lack of talent or ability but rather the feeling that achievement and success, above a certain level, are outside our self-concept-our image of who we are and what is appropriate to us. — Nathaniel Branden
One of the characteristics of love relationships that flower is a relatively high degree of mutual self-disclosure - a willingness to let our partner enter into the interior of our private world and a genuine interest in the private world of that partner. Couples in love tend to show more of themselves to each other than to any other person. — Nathaniel Branden
Out of fear, out of the desire for approval, out of the misguided notions of duty, people surrender themselves-their convictions and their aspirations-every day. There is nothing noble about it. It takes far more courage to fight for your values than to relinquish them. — Nathaniel Branden
In a world in which the total of human knowledge is doubling about every ten years, our security can rest only on our ability to learn — Nathaniel Branden
Reason and emotion are not antagonists. What seems like a struggle between two opposing ideas or values, one of which, automatic and unconscious, manifests itself in the form of a feeling. — Nathaniel Branden
The policy of seeking values from human beings by means of force, when practiced by an individual, is called crime. When practiced by a government, it is called statism. — Nathaniel Branden
To exist without purpose is to be at the mercy of the chance encounter, the chance invitation, the chance phone call, the chance event- always being controlled by forces external to oneself. — Nathaniel Branden
Some people have a view of self and of the universe that obliges them to struggle for happiness, to yearn for happiness-"some time in the future"-perhaps next year or the year after that. But not now. Not at this moment. Not here. Here and now is too terrifyingly close, too terrifyingly immediate. They suffer from happiness anxiety. — Nathaniel Branden
Suffering is just about the easiest of all human activities; being happy is just about the hardest. And happiness requires, not surrender to guilt, but emancipation from guilt. — Nathaniel Branden
If we do not believe in ourselves- neither in our efficacy nor in our goodness- the universe is a frightening place. — Nathaniel Branden
The natural inclination of a child is to take pleasure in the use of the mind no less than of the body. The child's primary business is learning. It is also the primary entertainment. To retain that orientation into adulthood, so that consciousness is not a burden but a joy, is the mark of the successfully developed human being. — Nathaniel Branden
If you are terrified of making mistakes, you will be reluctant to acknowledge them when you do make them-and therefore you will not correct them. — Nathaniel Branden
The music that inspires the souls of lovers exists within themselves and the private universe they occupy. They share it with each other; they do not share it with the tribe or with society. The courage to hear that music and to honor it is one of the prerequisites of romantic love. — Nathaniel Branden
In the whole history of capitalism, no one has been able to establish a coercive monopoly by means of competition in a free market...Every single coercive monopoly that exists or ever has existed...was created and made possible only by an act of government...which granted special privileges (not obtainable in a free market) to a man or a group of men, and forbade all others to enter that particular field. — Nathaniel Branden
You are not likely to bring out the best in people or nurture their creativity if every time you hear about their problems you instantly offer a solution Encourage people to look for their own solutions-and project the knowledge that they are capable of doing so. — Nathaniel Branden
If you face life without confidence in your own powers, you succumb too easily to setbacks and adversity; you lack the will to persevere. — Nathaniel Branden
Integrity is the integration of ideals, convictions, standards, beliefs-and behavior. When our behavior is congruent with our professed values, when ideals and practice match up, we have integrity. — Nathaniel Branden
Feel deeply to think clearly. — Nathaniel Branden
When you are frightened, you typically pull energy in to your center, seeing less, hearing less-shrinking consciousness precisely when you need to expand it. — Nathaniel Branden
If you choose not to live self-responsibly, you count on others to make up your default. No one abjures self-responsibility on a desert island. — Nathaniel Branden
A productive purpose to which you give yourself fully and joyfully is one of the great adventures of life. It is a uniquely human source of happiness. — Nathaniel Branden
Faith is the commitment of one's consciousness to beliefs for which one has no sensory evidence or rational proof. When man rejects reason as his standard of judgement, only one alternative standard remains to him: his feelings. A mystic is a man who treats his feelings as tools of cognition. Faith is the equation of feelings with knowledge — Nathaniel Branden
For "I" to become "we" and yet remain "I," is one of the great challenges of marriage. — Nathaniel Branden
It is painful to face the self we know we have never had the integrity to honor and assert. — Nathaniel Branden
What is guilt? It is moral self-reproach-I did wrong when it was possible to have done otherwise. — Nathaniel Branden
Accepting does not necessarily mean liking, enjoying, condoning. I can accept what is-and be determined to evolve from there. It is not acceptance but denial that leaves me stuck. — Nathaniel Branden
A woman in love will do almost anything for a man, except give up the desire to improve him. — Nathaniel Branden
There is only one reality - the reality knowable to reason. And if man does not choose to perceive it, there is nothing else for him to perceive; if it is not of this world that he is conscious, then he is not conscious at all — Nathaniel Branden
Moved by a passion they do not understand for a goal they seldom reach, men and women are haunted by the vision of a distant possibility that refuses to be extinguished. — Nathaniel Branden
The tragedy of too many people is that they cannot allow happiness just to be there; they cannot leave it alone. Their sense of who they are and of what their destiny is cannot accommodate happiness. So they are drive to find ways to sabotage it. — Nathaniel Branden
For the rational, psychologically healthy man, the desire for pleasure is the desire to celebrate his control over reality. For the neurotic, the desire for pleasure is the desire to escape from reality. — Nathaniel Branden
Either you will make your life work, or your life will not work. — Nathaniel Branden
Do not marry the enemy of your excitement. — Nathaniel Branden
We must become what we wish to teach. — Nathaniel Branden
No one is coming to save you. — Nathaniel Branden
The ultimate test of our integrity is not how we deal with those whom we agree but how we deal with those who we do not agree. — Nathaniel Branden
Sometimes the subconscious mind manifests a wisdom several steps or even years ahead of the conscious mind, and has its own way of leading us toward our destiny. — Nathaniel Branden
Life Lessons by Nathaniel Branden
Nathaniel Branden taught the importance of self-esteem and self-responsibility, emphasizing that taking responsibility for one's life is essential to achieving success and happiness.
He believed that individuals should strive to live authentically and take ownership of their thoughts, feelings, and actions.
He also encouraged people to be mindful of their own needs and to practice self-care in order to live a fulfilled and meaningful life.
Citation
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