The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.— Nathaniel Branden
The most fantastic Nathaniel Branden quotes that are guaranted to improve your brain
The practice of assertiveness: being authentic in our dealings with others;
treating our values and persons with decent respect in social contexts; refusing to fake the reality of who we are or what we esteem in order to avoid disapproval; the willingness to stand up for ourselves and our ideas in appropriate ways in appropriate contexts.
Self esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves.
In any culture, subculture, or family in which belief is valued above thought, and self-surrender is valued above self-expression, and conformity is valued above integrity, those who preserve their self-esteem are likely to be heroic exceptions.
It is naive to think that self-assertiveness is easy.
To live self-assertively--which means to live authentically--is an act of high courage. That is why so many people spend the better part of their lives in hiding--from others and also from themselves.
Self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship to myself.
One of the hardest expressions of self-assertiveness is challenging your limiting beliefs.
Persons of high self-esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others; they do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is being who they are, not in being better than someone else.
To preserve an unclouded capacity for the enjoyment of life is an unusual moral and psychological achievement. Contrary to popular belief, it is not the prerogative of mindlessness, but the exact opposite: It is the reward of self-esteem.
Live with integrity, respect the rights of other people, and follow your own bliss.
If you overcome your fear to ask someone for a date, a raise, or help with a project, that is an act of self-assertiveness. You are moving out into life rather than contracting and withdrawing.
Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is more important than the judgment we pass on ourselves.
How do we keep our inner fire alive? Two things, at minimum, are needed: an ability to appreciate the positives in our life – and a commitment to action. Every day, it's important to ask and answer these questions: ‘What's good in my life?’ and ‘What needs to be done?
The greater a child’s terror, and the earlier it is experienced, the harder it becomes to develop a strong and healthy sense of self.
A commitment to lifelong learning is a natural expression of the practice of living consciously.
Your choices have psychological consequences.
The way you choose to deal with reality, truth, facts - your choice to honor or dishonor your own perceptions - registers in your mind, for good or for bad, and either confirms and strengthens your self-esteem or undermines and weakens it.
There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will be to treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity.
A bully hides his fears with fake bravado. That is the opposite of self-assertiveness.
What a great teacher, a great parent, a great psychotherapist and a great coach have in common is a deep belief in the potential of the person with whom they are concerned. They relate to the person from their vision of his or her worth and value.
It is impressive to see a person who has been battered by life in many ways, who is torn by a variety of unsolved problems, who may be alienated from many aspects of the self-but who is still fighting, still struggling, still striving to find the path to a fulfilling existence, moved by the wisdom of knowing, "I am more than my problems."
The stability we cannot find in the world, we must create within our own persons.
To love is to see myself in you and to wish to celebrate myself with you.
What I love is the embodiment of my values in another person. Love is an act of self-assertion, self-expression and a celebration of being alive.
In the nature of our existence, we must act to achieve values.
And in order to act appropriately, we need to value the beneficiary of our actions. In order to seek values, we must consider ourselves worthy of enjoying them. In order to fight for our happiness, we must consider ourselves worthy of happiness.
To attain "success" without attaining positive self-esteem is to be condemned to feeling like an imposter anxiously awaiting exposure.
If we do have realistic confidence in our mind and value, if we feel secure within ourselves, we tend to experience the world as open to us and to respond appropriately to challenges and opportunities.
Romantic love is a passionate spiritual-emotional-sexual attachment between a man and a woman that reflects a high regard for the value of each other's person.
A depression is a large-scale decline in production and trade.
..there is nothing in the nature of a free-market economy to cause such an event.
If my aim is to prove I am 'enough,' the project goes on to infinity-because the battle was already lost on the day I conceded the issue was debatable.
Most of us are taught from an early age to pay far more attention to signals coming from other people than from within. We are encouraged to ignore our own needs and wants and to concentrate on living up to others expectations.
Even when our life is most difficult, it is important to remember that something within us is keeping us alive- the life force-that lift us, energizes us, pulls us back sometimes from the abyss of despair. True spirituality does not exist without love of life.
Every day, it's important to ask and answer these questions: "What's good in my life?" and "What needs to be done?"
A goal without an action plan is a daydream.
Be careful what you say to your children. They may agree with you.
The real basic power of an individual isn't what he or she knows;
it's the ability to think and learn and face new challenges.
One of the characteristics of love relationships that flower is a relatively high degree of mutual self-disclosure
Anyone who engages in the practice of psychotherapy confronts every day the devastation wrought by the teachings of religion.
We are anxious when there is a dissonance between our "knowledge" and the perceivable facts. Since our "knowledge" is not to be doubted or questioned, it is the facts that have to be altered.
When your principles seem to be demanding suicide, clearly it's time to check your premises
There is no value-judgment more important to a man--no factor more decisive in his psychological development and motivation--than the estimate he passes on himself.
Our motive is not to prove our self-worth, but to live up to our possibilities.
For children mastery entails struggle.
This means they must be permitted to struggle. If parents inappropriately step in to "help"-out of impatience or solicitude-they sabotage important learning. Among other things, the child is unlikely to discover the advantages of perseverance and self-discipline.
Anyone who really loves you wants you to be authentic.
And anyone who doesn't want you to be authentic doesn't really love you.
The feeling that "I am enough" does not mean that I have nothing to learn, nothing further to achieve, and nowhere to grow to. It means that I accept myself, that I am not on trial in my own eyes, that I value and respect myself. This is not an act of indulgence but of courage.
The reputation you have with yourself - your self-esteem - is the single most important factor for a fulfilling life.
If you feel inadequate to face challenges, unworthy of love or respect, untitled to happiness, and fear assertive thought, wants, or needs- if you lack basic self trust, self-respect, and self-confidence- your self-esteem deficiency will limit you, no matter what other assets you possess.
To live consciously means to seek to be aware of everything that bears on our actions, purposes, values, and goals—to the best of our ability, whatever that ability may be—and to behave in accordance with that which we see and know.
A well-developed sense of self is a necessary if not sufficient condition of your well-being. Its presence does not guarantee fulfillment, but its absence guarantees some measure of anxiety, frustration, or despair.
Taking on responsibilities that properly belong to someone else means behaving irresponsibly toward yourself. You need to know where you end and someone else begins. You need to understand boundaries. You need to know what is and is not up to you, what is and is not in your control, what is and is not your responsibility.
As you grow in self-esteem, your face, manner, way of talking and moving will tend naturally to project the pleasure you take in being alive.