I'm enjoying the opportunity that Parks And Recreation affords me to exploit my own soapbox agenda, which is to try to encourage people to make things with their hands.— Nick Offerman
The most vibrant Nick Offerman quotes that are free to learn and impress others
I have a wonderfully hedonistic appetite, and if I wasn't really strict with myself, I'd weigh 300 pounds. I'm not good with moderation.
If I had more time, I'd watch more woodworking or home-improvement shows, but, not enough hours in the day.
Always maintain the attitude of a student.
If you think you've done learning, bitterness sets in, but if you have more to achieve every day, in any arena, that makes each morning's awakening full of potential and cheery portent.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
Don't teach a man to fish and you feed yourself. He's a grown man, fishing's not that hard.
I have a ridiculously beautiful wife who's super sexy, and as long as she's happy with me, I don't need to look in the mirror and think, "How do I stack up next to Bradley Cooper? Would Cooper rock this shirt?" Doesn't matter. He does not have your wife. You do.
Follow your gut, make a choice, and throw yourself into it.
If you make a mistake, then you have merely afforded yourself a valuable lesson.
If you want to be happy in life, consider yourself a student.
Every day of your life, think: how can I improve?
I have a Kenwood charcoal grill. In our house, if anybody is cooking, it's me. I love making burgers. I love making pork tenderloin. Lamb chops I do on the grill a lot. But you just can't beat brats.
We're cognizant, curious beings, capable of philosophical thought, nuclear physics, repeating Nerf weapons, global consciousness, Glade air fresheners, and sentient automobiles. But we're assholes first.
I think it's fascinating that I receive attention for what people perceive to be a level of manliness or machismo, when amongst my family of farmers and paramedics and regular Americans, I'm kind of the sissy in my family.
And what we've lost sight of is that performing manual labor with your hands is one of the most incredibly satisfying and positive things you can do.
I never went too long without a job. The problem was a lot of the early jobs are almost more demoralizing than unemployment.
I've learned through experience that to trouble celebrities with my handshake doesn't do anybody any good.
Once you have a PhD, every meeting you go to becomes a doctor's appointment.
Marijuana is quite possibly the finest of intoxicants.
It has been scientifically proven, for decades, to be much less harmful to the body than alcohol when used on a regular basis.
Love one another, make something with your hands, and exalt the farmer.
If you're an original thinker, you are going get told 'no' a lot, and you have to be able to hear 'no' many times from the bankers and trust that at some point, someone is going to recognize that you are an artist and not a can of soda.
When it comes to marijuana, I think it's ridiculous to live in a country that espouses freedom, liberty and equality, yet won't follow through on a philosophy that says: "If it's not hurting anybody or their property, you can do any goddamn thing you want."
The ultimate disguise is nothing. Nudity.
Of course smartphones are brilliant inventions, but the nefarious thing about Twitter and other social media is that it starts to fill all the gaps in your day. I quickly become an addict.
I awaken. I consume oxygen, then bacon, eggs and black coffee, then my wife, then bacon.
If you don't look at yourself and evaluate it, you instead see how the world's reacting to it.
I always had a lot of confidence in my work and the unique flavor I like to bring to my characters, but you know I'm not a huge dreamer.
If I had to pick one form of acting, it would be live theater.
That's where I started; that's where I became a man, I think I'm still finishing up that job.
When I use weed creatively, I'm much better at drawing or making something or playing music. But what I do for a living is mostly performing as an actor or writing, and for those things I need to have my faculties sharp.
You know, even working actors can end up having a lot of spare time.
And you can either go sit at the Starbucks and wait for your agent to call you, or you can go learn how to build a Shaker blanket chest with hand-cut dovetails.
I have a corn creamer that I love. It extracts pulp and juice from kernels, and I simmer that down into a creamed corn that has an almost mashed potato-like consistency. I add butter and hit it with chopped fresh chives at the end for an accent of color.
I think that laziness in many ways is the human condition, and that's what has led us to this place where, as we've developed technology.
I think all these great comforts that come from the human condition of trying to make things easier on ourselves also have these pitfalls, where things become so easy that we forget how enjoyable building a fence can be.
I'm a very intermediate sax player, but now that Rob Lowe is on my show, I had to cop to him. Like, 'Dude your ridiculous fake sax playing [in St. Elmo's Fire] inspired me to pick up a horn.'
I've never seen a theater community to rival that of Chicago.
Neither New York nor L.A. has the raw talent or integrity that Chicago theater has, and I think it's because Chicago doesn't have Broadway or the film and TV business to distract it.
Not only do I recommend Wendell Berry to anyone who will talk to me for more than seven seconds, but I buy his books in quantity and send them to people. I bought a few dozen of his newest, "Our Only World."
I learned the word non-conformist in fourth grade and immediately announced that I would grow up to become one.
I was drinking a lot of bourbon. I was miserable. I was starting to get work, but it wasn't remotely satisfying. It was garbage compared to the theater I was doing.
Let's just say I can never be cast again after Ron Swanson.
Then I have a life of theater and woodworking and my wife to look forward to, and that doesn't make me anything but very happy.
It was on a van ride home from the movie set that everything came together.
I realized I had to get off Twitter. It just struck me that I couldn't stop everyone else from doing it, but I could certainly stop myself.
I've had to learn and discipline myself that I'm much happier and much less depressed if I give myself a project. It's just that simple.
My career is inexplicable to me. So far I've just been not getting fired despite being myself.
No one will ever ask me to sing because it's beautiful.
My secret is hiding my musicianship behind humor.
Children are so egocentric - they want to watch their lives, and not yours.
When I arrive in Los Angeles in the entertainment community, and I use implements like a shovel and a hammer, our society has distanced itself so far from working with its hands that those incredibly pedestrian skills are perceived as somehow being extraordinary.
The fact that I have a job that people even watch is an incredible gift.
If you always have something in your life that you're trying to improve upon, then every day you have a reason to get out of bed, and you have a reason to achieve something and feel good.
Actually, I'm not super-kickass at a lot of things.
Shut your damn mouth.
I don't know what it is on an elemental level, but a beard in general evokes hedonism. It's a more lush personal grooming style. It's more comfortable and cozy; it's less sharp and angular and businesslike. I feel like a beard is more Hobbit-like, even though Hobbits themselves are clean-shaven.
I keep having these bros come up to me and say, "I used to watch you when I was a fetus," and I just want to kill them.
I always call performing live "giving the people the medicine," because when you're engaged in it, you can feel the sort of soul magic being exchanged between the performer and the audience.
I first read Wendell Berry's short-story collections, "Fidelity" and then "Watch with Me." They just knocked my socks off. The characters and the fellowship of the small town reminded me of my own small town in Illinois.Then I discovered that, much like J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis, that all of Berry's fiction was centered in this same town.