110+ Noel Coward Quotes (Witty, Sophisticated And Refined)

Noel Coward was an English playwright, composer, director, actor and singer. He was known for his wit, flamboyance and what was seen as the "sophisticated, tragi-comic attitude to life of the British upper classes". He wrote more than 50 plays in his lifetime and was nominated for an Academy Award for his work on the film In Which We Serve.

Top 10 Noel Coward Quotes

1. Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.
2. It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.
3. Mona Lisa looks as if she has just been sick, or is about to be.
4. There's always something fishy about the French.
5. A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.
6. For gin, in cruel sober truth, supplies the fuel for flaming youth.
7. Work hard, do the best you can, don't ever lose faith in yourself and take no notice of what other people say about you.
8. I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.
9. Never trust a man with short legs. His brains are too near his bottom.
10. If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday.

Noel Coward Image Quotes

There's always something fishy about the French. — Noel Coward

Noel Coward Short Quotes

• Television is for appearing on, not looking at.
• The higher the building the lower the morals.
• I've sometimes thought of marrying - and then I've thought again.
• Why do I drink Champagne for breakfast? Doesn't everyone?
• Squash - that's not exercise, it's flagellation.
• Grab it while you can — grab every scrap of happiness while you can
• Familiarity breeds contempt, but without a little familiarity it's impossible to breed anything.
• Just say the lines and don't trip over the furniture.
• Trust your instincts. If you have no instincts, trust your impulses.
• She had much in common with Hitler, only no mustache.

Noel Coward Famous Quotes And Sayings

There's always something fishy about the French. — Noel Coward

Consider the public. Never fear it nor despise it. Coax it, charm it, interest it, stimulate it, shock it now and then if you must, make it laugh, make it cry, but above all never, never, never bore the living hell out of it. — Noel Coward

I have always paid income tax. I object only when it reaches a stage when I am threatened with having nothing left for my old age - which is due to start next Tuesday or Wednesday. — Noel Coward

Thousands of people have talent. I might as well congratulate you for having eyes in your head. The one and only thing that counts is: Do you have staying power? — Noel Coward

I do not intend to let myself down more than I can possibly help, and I find that the fewer illusions I have about myself or the world around me, the better company I am for myself. — Noel Coward

The air is like a draught of wine. The undertaker cleans his sign, The Hull express goes off the line, When it's raspberry time in Runcorn. — Noel Coward

How foolish to think that one can ever slam the door in the face of age. Much wiser to be polite and gracious and ask him to lunch in advance. — Noel Coward

Wit is like caviar - it should be served in small portions and not spread about like marmalade. — Noel Coward

What I adore is supreme professionalism. I’m bored by writers who can write only when it’s raining. — Noel Coward

Having to read footnotes resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love. — Noel Coward

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is. — Noel Coward

People are wrong when they say opera is not what it used to be. It is what it used to be. That is what's wrong with it. — Noel Coward

Certain women should be struck regularly, like gongs. — Noel Coward

Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the mid-day sun; The Japanese don't care to, the Chinese wouldn't dare to; Hindus and Argentines sleep firmly from twelve to one, But Englishmen detest a siesta. — Noel Coward

Everybody was up to something, especially, of course, those who were up to nothing. — Noel Coward

Many years ago I remember a famous actress explaining to me with perfect seriousness that before making an entrance she always stood aside to allow God to go on first. I can also remember that on that particular occasion He gave a singularly uninspired performance. — Noel Coward

Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the mid-day sun. — Noel Coward

At twelve noon, The natives swoon And no further work is doneBut mad dogs and Englishmen, Go out in the midday sun. — Noel Coward

Criticism and Bolshevism have one thing in common. They both seek to pull down that which they could never build. — Noel Coward

Conceit is an outward manifestation of inferiority. — Noel Coward

Acting is not a state of being ... but a state of appearing to be. — Noel Coward

Star quality: I don't know what it is, but I've got it. — Noel Coward

How about slipping out of those wet things and into a dry Martini? — Noel Coward

Wouldn't it be dreadful to live in a country where they didn't have tea? — Noel Coward

That strange feeling we had in the war. Have you found anything in your lives since to equal it in strength? A sort of splendid carelessness it was, holding us together. — Noel Coward

To take a gloomy view of life is not part of my philosophy; to laugh at the idiocies of my fellow creatures is. However, at this particular moment I cannot find so much to laugh at as I would like. — Noel Coward

I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me. — Noel Coward

It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit. — Noel Coward

I'll go through life either first class or third, but never in second. — Noel Coward

My body has certainly wandered a good deal, but I have an uneasy suspicion that my mind has not wandered enough. — Noel Coward

I see her as one great stampede of lips directed at the nearest derriere. — Noel Coward

Someday I suspect, when Jesus has definitely got me for a sunbeam, my works may be adequately assessed. — Noel Coward

I can take any amount of criticism, as long as it is unqualified praise. — Noel Coward

Work is more fun than fun. — Noel Coward

Goodnight, my darlings, I'll see you tomorrow. — Noel Coward

I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again. — Noel Coward

I write at high speed because boredom is bad for my health. — Noel Coward

The Stately Homes of England, How beautiful they stand, To prove the Upper Classes, Have still the Upper Hand. — Noel Coward

AMANDA: I think very few people are completely normal really, deep down in their private lives. — Noel Coward

Bed is the perfect climate. — Noel Coward

Labour leaders lead us all, though we know they bleed us all. Cheer our new Decline and Fall, Gibbon might have dreamed it all. — Noel Coward

Madame Bovary is the sexiest book imaginable. The woman's virtually a nyphomaniac but you won't find a vulgar word in the entire thing. — Noel Coward

Hollywood is a place where some people lie on the beach and look up at the stars, whereas other people lie on the stars and look down at the beach. — Noel Coward

Fifty-four years of love and tenderness and crossness and devotion and unswerving loyalty. Without her I could have achieved a quarter of what I have achieved, not only in terms of success and career, but in terms of personal happiness. — Noel Coward

It's no use to go and take courses in playwriting any more than it's much use taking courses in acting. Better play to a bad matinée in Hull, it will teach you much more than a year of careful instruction. — Noel Coward

It's never too early for a cocktail. — Noel Coward

Here ends the story of a ship, but there will always be other ships, for we are an island race. Through all our centuries, the sea has ruled our destiny. There will always be other ships and men to sail in them. It is these men, in peace or war, to whom we owe so much. Above all victories, beyond all loss, in spite of changing values in a changing world, they give to us, their countrymen, eternal and indomitable pride. — Noel Coward

Of course, the age-old tradition that a star must appear even if he or she is practically dying is an excellent one, but it can be carried too far. I one played a performance of The Knight of the Burning Pestle with a temperature of 103 and gave sixteen members of the company mumps, thereby closing the play and throwing everybody out of work. There may be a moral lurking somewhere in this, but I cannot for the life of me discover what it is. — Noel Coward

Passion in a dromedary doesn't go so deep; a camel when it's mating never sobs itself to sleep. — Noel Coward

My philosophy is as simple as ever - smoking, drinking, moderate sexual intercourse on a diminishing scale, reading and writing (not arithmetic). I have a selfish absorption in the well-being and achievement of Noel Coward. — Noel Coward

I never cared who scored the goal, or which side won the silver cup. I never learned to bat or bowl; but I heard the curtain going up. — Noel Coward

Good heavens, television is something you appear on; you don't watch. — Noel Coward

You kissed me because you were awfully nice and I was awfully nice and we both liked kissing very much. It was inevitable. — Noel Coward

There isn't a particle of you that I don't know, remember, and want. — Noel Coward

It's such a surprise for the Eastern eyes to see, That though the English are effete They're quite impervious to heat. — Noel Coward

Though the fact that they have to be rebuilt And frequently mortgaged to the hilt Is inclined to take the gilt Off the gingerbread, And certainly damps the fun Of the eldest son. — Noel Coward

I don't think pornography is harmful, but it is terribly, terribly boring. — Noel Coward

He must have been an incredibly good shot. — Noel Coward

You will know you're old when you cease to be amazed. — Noel Coward

There are bad times just around the corner, There are dark clouds travelling through the sky, And it's no good whining, About a silver lining, For we know from experience they won't roll by... — Noel Coward

It's no good pacing up and down. It won't make the plane arrive any faster. Just sit down and accept that we're delayed. You're just making a fool of yourself. — Noel Coward

Exercise is the most awful illusion. The secret is a lot of aspirin and marrons glaces. — Noel Coward

My importance to the world is relatively small. On the other hand, my importance to myself is tremendous. I am all I have to work with, to play with, to suffer and to enjoy. It is not the eyes of others that I am wary of, but of my own. I do not intend to let myself down more than I can possibly help, and I find that the fewer illusions I have about myself or the world around me, the better company I am for myself. — Noel Coward

I will accept anything in the theatre . . . provided it amuses or moves me. But if it does neither, I want to go home. — Noel Coward

I also avoid green vegetables. They're grossly overrated. — Noel Coward

The pleasures that once were heaven look silly at sixty-seven. — Noel Coward

I'm an enormously talented man, and there's no use pretending that I'm not. — Noel Coward

You always ought to have tom cats arranged, you know - it makes 'em more companionable. — Noel Coward

I'll go and see anything so long as it amuses me, or moves me. If it doesn't do either I want to go home. — Noel Coward

In the first act, you get the audience's attention - once you have it, they will repay you in the second. Play through the laughs if you have to. It will only make the audience believe there are so many of them that they missed a few. — Noel Coward

He's completely unspoiled by failure. — Noel Coward

Any part of the piggy Is quite all right with me Ham from Westphalia, ham from Parma Ham as lean as the Dalai Lama Ham from Virginia, ham from York, Trotters Sausages, hot roast pork. Crackling crisp for my teeth to grind on Bacon with or without the rind on Though humanitarian I'm not a vegetarian. I'm neither crank nor prude nor prig And though it may sound infra dig Any part of the darling pig Is perfectly fine with me. — Noel Coward

A bloody good thing, but too late. — Noel Coward

Everybody worships me, it's nauseating. — Noel Coward

The theatre should be treated with respect. The theatre is a wonderful place, a house of strange enchantment, a temple of illusion. What it most emphatically is not and never will be is a scruffy, ill-lit, fumed-oak drill hall serving as a temporary soap box for political propaganda. — Noel Coward

As one gets older, one discovers everything is going to be exactly the same with different hats on. — Noel Coward

I want a horse and plough, Chickens too, Just one cow, With a wistful moo. — Noel Coward

If he (Peter O'Toole) had been any prettier it would have been Florence of Arabia. — Noel Coward

You ask my advice about acting? Speak clearly, don't bump into the furniture and if you must have motivation, think of your pay packet on Friday. — Noel Coward

She stopped the show - but then the show wasn't traveling very fast. — Noel Coward

Christopher Marlowe or Francis Bacon The author of Lear remains unshaken Willie Herbert or Mary Fitton What does it matter? The Sonnets were written. — Noel Coward

My life really has been one long extravaganza. — Noel Coward

Christmas is at our throats again. — Noel Coward

Dear 338171 (May I call you 338?) — Noel Coward

It is not the eyes of others that I am wary of, but my own. — Noel Coward

Sunburn is very becoming - but only when it is even - one must be careful not to look like a mixed grill. — Noel Coward

An infant prodigy of nine is shoved upon the stage in white. She starts off in a dismal whine about a dark and stormy night, a burglar, whose heart is true, despite his wicked-looking face, who puts the little child in doom, to save her mamma's jewel case. This may bring tears to every eye; it does not set my heart on fire. I'd like to stand serenely by and watch that horrid child expire. — Noel Coward

Work is much more fun than fun. — Noel Coward

Success took me to her bosom like a maternal boa constrictor. — Noel Coward

It's like this, dear boy, the one in front is blind and the kind one behind is pushing him. — Noel Coward

I have always paid income tax. I object only when it reaches a stage when I am threatened with having nothing left for my old age -- which is due to start next Tuesday or Wednesday. — Noel Coward

Life Lessons by Noel Coward

1. Noel Coward teaches us the importance of hard work and dedication in order to achieve success. He also encourages us to take risks and be bold in our pursuits. Lastly, he reminds us to always remain humble and gracious in the face of success and failure.