110+ Ogden Nash Quotes On Marriage, Humorous And Rhyming

Ogden Nash was an American poet known for his light verse and clever wordplay. He was born in 1902 in Rye, New York and was best known for his humorous poetry. His work often featured puns, rhymes and unexpected turns of phrase, and he wrote more than 500 pieces of light verse during his lifetime. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Ogden Nash on marriage, humorous, rhyming.

Top 10 Ogden Nash Quotes

1. Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.
2. Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
3. The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.
4. Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
5. Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!
6. The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
7. When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.
8. Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
9. There was a young man of Herne Bay who was making some fireworks one day: but he dropped his cigar in the gunpowder jar. There was a young man of Herne Bay.
10. Some debts are fun while you are acquiring them, But none are fun when you set about retiring them.

Ogden Nash Image Quotes

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes! — Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash Short Quotes

• Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.
• Beneath this slab John Brown is stowed. He watched the ads, And not the road.
• Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope.
• Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.
• The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.
• Here lies my past, Goodbye I have kissed it; Thank you kids, I wouldn't have missed it.
• It is the sin of omission, the second kind of sin, That lays eggs under your skin.
• I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine.
• Celery, raw, Develops the jaw
• If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

Ogden Nash Quotes About Marriage

So I hope husbands and wives will continue to debate and combat Over everything debatable and combatable Because I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life Particularly if he has income and she is pattable. — Ogden Nash

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up. — Ogden Nash

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. — Ogden Nash

A little incompatibility is the spice of life, as long as he has income and she is pattable. — Ogden Nash

The reason for much matrimony is patrimony. — Ogden Nash

If you are really Master of your Fate, it shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate. — Ogden Nash

A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus. — Ogden Nash

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. — Ogden Nash

There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is enjoy earning it. — Ogden Nash

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up. — Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash Quotes About Humorous

No man is greater than his respect for sleep. — Ogden Nash

Humor is hope's companion in arms. It is not brash, it is not cheap, it is not heartless. Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit. — Ogden Nash

The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile. — Ogden Nash

I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned. — Ogden Nash

Humor is the best means of surviving in a difficult world. — Ogden Nash

Women would rather be right than reasonable. — Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash Quotes About People

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. — Ogden Nash

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up. — Ogden Nash

Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo. — Ogden Nash

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as legislature.... So people who go to bed to sleep Must count French premiers or sheep, And people who ought to arise from bed Yawn and go back to sleep instead. — Ogden Nash

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin. — Ogden Nash

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it. — Ogden Nash

There are two kinds of people who blow through life like a breeze, And one kind is gossipers, and the other kind is gossipees. — Ogden Nash

Some people's money is merited and other people's is inherited. — Ogden Nash

The codfish is a staple food For which I'm seldom in the mood. This fish is such an utter loss That people eat it with egg sauce. — Ogden Nash

I believe that people believe what they believe they believe. — Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash Quotes About Wrong

There has been a lot of progress during my lifetime, but I'm afraid it's heading in the wrong direction. — Ogden Nash

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. — Ogden Nash

When you're wrong admit it, when you're right, shut up. — Ogden Nash

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons. — Ogden Nash

O misery, misery, mumble and moan!Someone invented the telephone,And interrupted a nation's slumbers,Ringing wrong but similar numbers. — Ogden Nash

Some one invented the telephone, And interrupted a nation's slumbers, Ringing wrong but similar numbers. — Ogden Nash

I think progress began to retrogress when Wilbur and Orville started tinkering around in Dayton and at Kitty Hawk, because I believe that two Wrights made a wrong. — Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash Quotes About Children

Tonight's December thirty-first, something is about to burst. The clock is crouching, dark and small, like a time bomb in the hall. Hark, it's midnight, children dear. Duck! Here comes another year! — Ogden Nash

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. — Ogden Nash

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,And that's what parents were created for. — Ogden Nash

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. — Ogden Nash

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore. — Ogden Nash

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive. — Ogden Nash

But children, hark! Your mother would rather, When you arrived, have been your father. — Ogden Nash

The burnt child, urged by rankling ire, Can hardly wait to get back at the fire. — Ogden Nash

Life has a tendency to obfuscate and bewilder, Such as fating us to spend the first part of our lives being embarrassed by our parents and the last part being embarrassed by our children. — Ogden Nash

No, you never get any fun Out of the things you haven't done. — Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash Quotes About Life

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor. — Ogden Nash

Stuyvesant chats with Kelly and Katz, The professor warms to the broker, And life is good in the brotherhood Of an air-conditioned smoker. — Ogden Nash

The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift. — Ogden Nash

When a lady's erotic life is vexed God knows what God is coming next. — Ogden Nash

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance. — Ogden Nash

Middle-aged life is merry, and I love to lead it. — Ogden Nash

In real life, it takes only one to make a quarrel. — Ogden Nash

Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny- Have you ever tried to buy them without money? — Ogden Nash

It is my duty, gentlemen, to inform you that women are dictators all, and I recommend to you this moral: In real life it takes only one to make a quarrel. — Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash Famous Quotes And Sayings

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes! — Ogden Nash

So I think there is one rule every host and hostess ought to keep with the comb and nail file and bicarbonate and aromatic spirits on a handy shelf, Which is don't spoil the denouement by telling the guests everything is terrible, but let them have the thrill of finding it out for themselves. — Ogden Nash

Winter is the king of showmen, Turning tree stumps into snowmen And houses into birthday cakes And spreading sugar over lakes. Smooth and clean and frosty white, The world looks good enough to bite. That’s the season to be young, Catching snowflakes on your tongue. Snow is snowy when it’s snowing, I’m sorry it’s slushy when it’s going. — Ogden Nash

I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew. — Ogden Nash

One thing that literature would be greatly the better for Would be a more restricted employment by authors of simile and>metaphor. — Ogden Nash

Love is a word that is constantly heard, Hate is a word that is not. Love, I am told, is more precious than gold. Love, I have read, is hot. But hate is the verb that to me is superb, And Love but a drug on the mart. Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, But Hating, my boy, is an Art. — Ogden Nash

Time is so old and love so brief, love is pure gold and time a thief. We're late, darling, we're late, The curtain descends, everything ends, too soon, too soon. — Ogden Nash

The oboe's a horn made of wood. I'd play you a tune if I could, But the reeds are a pain, And the fingering's insane. It's the ill wind that no one blows good. — Ogden Nash

The truth I do not stretch or shove When I state the dog is full of love. I've also proved, by actual test, A wet dog is the lovingest. — Ogden Nash

Authors of all races, be they Greeks, Romans, Teutons, or Celts, Can't seem just to say anything is the thing it is but have to go out of their way to say that it is like something else. — Ogden Nash

I test my bath before I sit, And I'm always moved to wonderment That what chills the finger not a bit Is so frigid upon the fundament. — Ogden Nash

Miranda in Miranda's sight is old, gray and dirty; Twenty-nine she was last night; This morning she is thirty. — Ogden Nash

Here's a toast to the roast that good fellowship lends, with the sparkle of beer and wine; May its sentiment always be deeper, my friends, than the foam at the top of the stein. Then here's to the heartening wassail, wherever good fellows are found; Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around. — Ogden Nash

There once was an umpire whose vision Was cause for abuse and derision He remarked in surprise, 'Why pick on my eyes? It's my heart that dictates my decision.' — Ogden Nash

And you stagger down to break your fast. Greasy bacon and lacquered eggs And coffee composed of frigid dregs. — Ogden Nash

There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin. — Ogden Nash

The more you earn, the less you keep, And now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to take, If the tax-collector hasn't got it before I wake. — Ogden Nash

Bankers are just like anybody else, only richer — Ogden Nash

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat. — Ogden Nash

Candy, is dandy, but Liquor, is quicker. — Ogden Nash

In the world of mules there are no rules. — Ogden Nash

Senescence begins And middle-age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends — Ogden Nash

The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk. — Ogden Nash

But that wasn't fancy enough for Lord Byron, oh dear me no, he had to invent a lot of figures of speech and then interpolate them, With the result that whenever you mention Old Testament soldiers to people they say Oh yes, they're the ones that a lot of wolves dressed up in gold and purple ate them. — Ogden Nash

A dressing is not a compote A dressing is not a custard It consists of pepper and salt, Vinegar, oil and mustard. — Ogden Nash

The camel has a single hump, The dromedary, two; Or else the other way around; I'm never sure. Are you? — Ogden Nash

How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge! — Ogden Nash

The noblest lord is ushered in By the practicing physician, And the humblest lout is ushered out By a certified mortician. And in between, they find their foyers Alive with summonses from lawyers. — Ogden Nash

Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours! — Ogden Nash

Where there is a monster, there is a miracle. — Ogden Nash

God in His wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why. — Ogden Nash

There is one fault that I must find With the twentieth century. And I'll put it in a couple of words; Too adventury. What I'd like would be some nice dull monotony If anyone's gotony. — Ogden Nash

O thrice unhappy home Whose master doesn't know the difference between a watt and an ohm! — Ogden Nash

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it. — Ogden Nash

My garden will never make me famous, I'm a horticultural ignoramus. — Ogden Nash

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence. — Ogden Nash

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers. — Ogden Nash

Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is. — Ogden Nash

Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it. — Ogden Nash

They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball. — Ogden Nash

A bird in the open never looks Like its picture in the birdie books - Or if it once did, it has changed its plumage, And plunges you back into ignorant gloomage. — Ogden Nash

And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo? and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more. — Ogden Nash

Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found; Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around. — Ogden Nash

The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Supplies us sausage, ham, and Bacon. Let others say his heart is big, I think it stupid of the Pig. — Ogden Nash

Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year. — Ogden Nash

Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you. — Ogden Nash

All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart. — Ogden Nash

Why did the Lord give use so much quickness unless it was to avoid responsibility? — Ogden Nash

Smallpox is natural; vaccine ain't. — Ogden Nash

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals? — Ogden Nash

A lady wants to be dressed exactly like everybody else but she gets pretty up- set if she sees anybody else dressed exactly like her. — Ogden Nash

So Columbus said, somebody show me the sunset and somebody did and he set sail for it, And he discovered America and they put him in jail for it, And the fetters gave him welts, And they named America after somebody else. — Ogden Nash

An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he learned how to cope with the tick than she tocks. — Ogden Nash

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as forward as hives or goiters, And where it is least desired, it loiters. — Ogden Nash

I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine. — Ogden Nash

No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud, their heads are heroically unbloody and unbowed. — Ogden Nash

Here's a good rule of thumb; too clever is dumb. — Ogden Nash

The sky is now indelible ink, The branches reft asunder; But you and I we do not shrink; We love the lovely thunder. — Ogden Nash

If some confectioners were willingTo let the shape announce the filling,We'd encounter fewer assorted chocs,Bitten into and returned to the box. — Ogden Nash

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long. — Ogden Nash

I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm. — Ogden Nash

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all. — Ogden Nash

Life Lessons by Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash's poetry often explores the joys and struggles of everyday life, encouraging readers to look for the humor and beauty in the world around them. He also reminds us to be kind and understanding to those around us, no matter how different they may be. Finally, Nash's work encourages us to be brave and take risks in order to live a fulfilling life.