Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses.

— Quentin Crisp

The most fantastic Quentin Crisp quotes that are easy to memorize and remember

Love is the extra effort we make in our dealings with those whom we do not like and once you understand that, you understand all. This idea that love overtakes you is nonsense. This is but a polite manifestation of sex. To love another you have to undertake some fragment of their destiny.

80

I simply haven't the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits and then suddenly stops in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds.

73

Posing was the first job I did in which I understood what I was doing.

68

In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast.

65

Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are.

59

My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.

54

If Mr. Vincent Price were to be co-starred with Miss Bette Davis in a story by Mr. Edgar Allan Poe directed by Mr. Roger Corman, it could not fully express the pent-up violence and depravity of a single day in the life of the average family.

49

Vice is its own reward.

49

Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

46

If you describe things as better than they are, you are considered to be a romantic; if you describe things as worse than they are, you will be called a realist; and if you describe things exactly as they are, you will be thought of as a satirist.

43

The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.

42

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.

33

About Quentin Crisp

Quotes 248 sayings
Nationality English
Profession Writer
Birthday October 16

It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take.

This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn't give enough.

32

Nearly always when actors are approached by the beauticians, they try to avoid the dabs that the beauticians put on their faces. They dodge them.

31

You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave.

29

The curiosity of the neighbors about you, is a tribute to your individuality, and you should encourage it

28

The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.

26

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.

23

Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.

22

Euphemisms are not, as many young people think, useless verbiage for that which can and should be said bluntly; they are like secret agents on a delicate mission, they must airily pass by a stinking mess with barely so much as a nod of the head, make their point of constructive criticism and continue on in calm forbearance. Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.

22

The law is simply expediency wearing a long white dress.

20

In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast.

Those who once inhabited the suburbs of human contempt find that without changing their address they eventually live in the metropolis.

20

The British do not expect happiness. I had the impression, all the time that I lived there, that they do not want to be happy; they want to be right.

17

It may be true that artists adopt a flamboyant appearance, but it's also true that people who look funny get stuck with the arts.

15

For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook.

15

The continued propinquity of another human being cramps the style after a time unless that person is somebody you think you love. Then the burden becomes intolerable at once.

14

Living en famille provides the strongest motives for rudeness combined with the maximum opportunity for displaying it.

14

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.

14

For an introvert his environment is himself and can never be subject to startling or unforeseen change.

13

What would you be like if you were the only person in the world? If you want to be truly happy you must be that person.

13

To my disappointment I now realized that to know all is not to forgive all.

It is to despise everybody.

13

Manners are a way of getting what you want without appearing to be an absolute swine.

13

However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police.

12

All liaisons between homosexuals are conducted as though they were between a chorus girl and a bishop. In some cases both parties think they are bishops.

12

The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.

12

To love another person you have to undertake some fragment of their destiny.

11

The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.

11

The flagrantly gay Quentin Crisp dealt with homophobic bullying by refusing to bow to its onslaught. His number listed in the phone directory, he responded to derogatory remarks accompanied with a stated intent to kill him by asking, "Would you like to make an appointment?"

9

It's been agony but I couldn't have done it any other way.

8

I take it to be axiomatic that people are revolted by witnessing the shameless gratification of an appetite they do not share.

8

Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone - but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding.

8

Men get laid, but women get screwed.

8

The proprietor had hair so red that pigmentation had flowed out into every visible inch of his skin and even into the pinks of his eyes, as the colour of flowering cherry trees stains their leaves.

8

The happiest moments in any affair take place after the loved one has learned to accommodate the lover and before the maddening personality of either party has emerged like a jagged rock from the receding tides of lust and curiosity.

7

Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.

7

I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum. This may seem too stoical a position in these madly passionate times, but madly passionate people rarely make good on their madly passionate promises.

7

It is not the simple statement of facts that ushers in freedom;

it is the constant repetition of them that has this liberating effect. Tolerance is the result not of enlightenment, but of boredom.

7

Our clothes are too much a part of us for most of us ever to be entirely indifferent to their condition: it is as though the fabric were indeed a natural extension of the body, or even of the soul.

7

The war between the sexes is the only one in which both sides regularly sleep with the enemy.

6
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