Mindfulness is a pause - the space between stimulus and response: that's where choice lies.— Tara Brach
The most irresistibly Tara Brach quotes that are easy to memorize and remember
Stopping the endless pursuit of getting somewhere else is the perhaps most beautiful offering we can make to our spirit.
You can think of spiritual practice as a kind of spiritual re-parenting .
.. You're offering yourself the two qualities that make up good parenting: understanding - seeing yourself for who you truly are - and relating to what you see with unconditional love.
Feeling compassion for ourselves in no way releases us from responsibility for our actions. Rather, it releases us from the self-hatred that prevents us from responding to our life with clarity and balance.
On this sacred path of Radical Acceptance, rather than striving for perfection, we discover how to love ourselves into wholeness.
There are some things we can't choose, but in being present we can choose how we want to relate to them
Sometimes the easiest way to appreciate ourselves is by looking through the eyes of someone who loves us.
Radical Acceptance is the willingness to experience ourselves and our lives as it is.
The most powerful healing arises from the simple intention to love the life within you, unconditionally, with as much tenderness and presence as possible.
Perhaps the biggest tragedy of our lives is that freedom is possible, yet we can pass our years trapped in the same old patterns...We may want to love other people without holding back, to feel authentic, to breathe in the beauty around us, to dance and sing. Yet each day we listen to inner voices that keep our life small.
When someone says to us, as Thich Nhat Hanh suggests, "Darling, I care about your suffering," a deep healing begins.
The renowned seventh-century Zen master Seng-tsan taught that true freedom is being "without anxiety about imperfection.
Nothing is wrong - whatever is happening is just "real life."
By regarding ourselves with kindness, we begin to dissolve the identity of an isolated, deficient self. This creates the grounds for including others in an unconditionally loving heart.
The spiritual path is not a solo endeavor.
In fact, the very notion of a self who is trying to free her/ himself is a delusion. We are in it together and the company of spiritual friends helps us realize our interconnectedness.
Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha.
Fear of being a flawed person lay at the root of my trance, and I had sacrificed many moments over the years in trying to prove my worth. Like the tiger Mohini, I inhabited a self-made prison that stopped me from living fully.
The boundary to what we can accept is the boundary to our freedom.
Imperfection is not our personal problem - it is a natural part of existing.
Paying attention is the most basic and profound expression of love.
If our hearts are ready for anything, we are touched by the beauty and poetry and mystery that fill our world.
We are mindful of desire when we experience it with an embodied awareness, recognizing the sensations and thoughts of wanting as arising and passing phenomena. While this isn't easy, as we cultivate the clear seeing and compassion of Radical Acceptance, we discover we can open fully to this natural force, and remain free in its midst.
The muscles used to make a smile actually send a biochemical message to our nervous system that it is safe to relax the flight of freeze response.
My first book, 'Radical Acceptance', grew out of the suffering of feeling personally deficient and unworthy. Because most of us are so quick to turn against ourselves, the teachings and practices of radical acceptance continue as a strong current in 'True Refuge': nurturing a forgiving, understanding heart is a basic step on the path.
Observing desire without acting on it enlarges our freedom to choose how we live.
Even going through the motions is a way of establishing a new relationship with our inner life that is caring and tender, versus one that is judging, distancing or ignoring. This is the beginning of being capable of intimacy with others.
We, like the Mother of the World, become the compassionate presence that can hold, with tenderness, the rising and passing waves of suffering.
Presence is not some exotic state that we need to search for or manufacture.
In the simplest terms, it is the felt sense of wakefulness, openness, and tenderness that arises when we are fully here and now with our experience.
Pain is not wrong. Reacting to pain as wrong initiates the trance of unworthiness. The moment we believe something is wrong, our world shrinks and we lose ourselves in the effort to combat the pain.
Awakening self-compassion is often the greatest challenge people face on the spiritual path.
Relaxation is the doorway to both wisdom and compassion.
With mindfulness training we are able to recognize when we get lost in our mental dramas, and bring a kind and nonreactive presence to the feelings that accompany them.
Self-judgment continues to arise - it's a strong habit - but the fact that I made a conscious commitment to recognize it has helped me stop feeding the story of being unworthy.
Perhaps the biggest tragedy of our lives is that freedom is possible, yet we can pass our years trapped in the same old patterns.
The way to develop the habit of savoring is to pause when something is beautiful and good and catches our attention - the sound of rain, the look of the night sky - the glow in a child's eyes, or when we witness some kindness. Pause... then totally immerse in the experience of savoring it.
I knew I could hold myself with that absolute love and compassion.
The Buddha never intended to make desire itself the problem.
When he said craving causes suffering, he was referring not to our natural inclination as living beings to have wants and needs, but to our habit of clinging to experience that must, by nature, pass away.
The trance of unworthiness keeps the sweetness of belonging out of reach.
The path to "the sweetness of belonging," is acceptance - acceptance of ourselves and acceptance of others without judgment.
To me, bringing mindfulness-bas ed practices to students, teachers and parents is some of the most important work we can be doing. If we can help the next generation become more self-aware, empathetic and emotionally resilient, they will bring their wisdom to healing the earth and creating a more peaceful world.
If our hearts are ready for anything, we can open to our inevitable losses, and to the depths of our sorrow. We can grieve our lost loves, our lost youth, our lost health, our lost capacities. This is part of our humanness, part of the expression of our love for life.
I think it's possible to have experiences of love without attachment, but I think part of our conditioning is to grasp at times, especially when there are unmet needs. It's part of our nervous system to hold on to where we think those needs will be met.
When desire for a certain person's attention becomes an "I have to have" kind of grasping, then identity gets organized around needing that and it becomes very solid and sticky. That causes suffering because we're not inhabiting the fullness of who we are, we're fixated and contracted on life being a certain way.
Even a few moments of offering lovingkindness can reconnect you with the purity of your loving heart.
What would it be like if, right in the midst of this busyness, we were to consciously take our hands off the controls? What if we were to intentionally stop our mental computations and our rushing around and, for a minute or two, simply pause and notice our inner experience?
You have a unique body and mind, with a particular history and conditioning.
No one can offer you a formula for navigating all situations and all states of mind. Only by listening inwardly in a fresh and open way will you discern at any given time what most serves your healing and freedom.
I think of depression as the mechanism that pushes down the pain of that loss.
It tries to distance us from the loss but it lowers our whole energy level. I think that's a pervasive way we end up responding to loss or the anticipation of loss. Natural but not necessary.
Along with judging myself harshly, I'd also always seen the truth of goodness in me.
My prayer became 'May I find peace... May I love this life no matter what.' I was seeking an inner refuge, an experience of presence and wholeness that could carry me through whatever losses might come.
Most of us grew up with a very damaging story that something is wrong with us.
Gradually - or as in my case, suddenly - we become resolved not to believe this anymore. It takes a dedicated practice to follow up on that resolution, because the conditioning is very strong to keep generating self-demeaning stories.
Meditation helps us to get out of our thoughts about the future and really be in the present moment.