70+ William Ury Quotes to Empower Negotiation Skills and Find Common Ground

William Ury is a renowned negotiation expert and author, specializing in the field of conflict resolution. With a career spanning several decades, he has dedicated his work to helping individuals and organizations find mutually beneficial solutions to complex disputes. His expertise lies in facilitating peaceful negotiations and fostering understanding between conflicting parties. He is co-founder of the Harvard Program on Negotiation and helped found the International Negotiation Network. Following is our collection on famous quotes by William Ury on education, leadership, life.

Top 10 William Ury Quotes

1. Creativity is our biggest resource in negotiation.
2. The single biggest obstacle to us getting what we really need and want in life is right here. It's ourselves.
3. An open mind is not an empty one.
4. I used to believe that gratitude for life came from being happy, but I have come to realize that the reverse is also true, perhaps even more so: being happy comes from feeling grateful for life.
5. The more attention that is paid to positions, the less attention is devoted to meeting the underlying concerns of the parties.
6. Spend the first half of negotiation not bargaining, but simply building rapport, exploring the problem, & learning from one another.
7. Judgment hinders imagination.
8. Yes is the keyword of peace, no is the keyword of justice. And we need both peace and justice in the world.
9. How can we get what we really want and at the same time deal with the needs of others in our lives? Perhaps no human dilemma is more pervasive or challenging.
10. The more extreme the opening positions and the smaller the concessions, the more time and effort it will take to discover whether or not agreement is possible.

William Ury Short Quotes

• In a mental hospital, we do not want psychotic doctors.
• For every ounce of power you use, you need to add an ounce of conciliation.
• There may be no better gateway to happiness than cultivating our gratitude.
• An effective negotiator cultivates empathy, patience, and creativity.
• Listen before you talk. See if you can hear the other side out before you express yourself.
• Jiddu Krishnamurti: 'To observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.'
• The real opportunity exists when we expand the pie before you divide it up.
• Negotiation is about influence.
• We're having to invent new ways of making decisions together.
• How can we possibly expect to influence someone else if we can't first influence ourselves?

William Ury Quotes About Life

This inner yes is an unconditionally constructive attitude of acceptance and respect – first toward yourself, then toward life, and finally toward others. — William Ury

I have come to the conclusion that the greatest obstacle to getting what we really want in life is not the other party, as difficult as he or she can be. The biggest obstacle is actually ourselves. — William Ury

If there is a single lesson I have learned, it is this: in life, we are destined to lose many things. That is the nature of life. Never mind. Just don't lose the present. Nothing is worth it. — William Ury

To accept our past, it helps to reframe our stories and give a positive meaning to even the most difficult life events. We may have no power to change the past, but we do have the power to change the meaning we assign to it. — William Ury

Taking responsibility for your life means owning your failures and faults as well as your successes and strengths. — William Ury

H. W. Longfellow, 'If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.' — William Ury

William Ury Quotes About Negotiation

Any method of negotiation may be fairly judged by three criteria: It should produce a wise agreement if agreement is possible. It should be efficient. And it should improve or at least not damage the relationship between the parties. — William Ury

Just as champion athletes learn and continuously improve their skills, so do champion negotiators. — William Ury

Be prepared for negotiation by first, knowing what you really want. List your underlying interests in the order of priority. — William Ury

Negotiation jujitsu means breaking the vicious cycle of escalation by refusing to react. — William Ury

A good negotiator is capable of keeping 2 different perspectives in their head at once: that of their own side and that of the other side. — William Ury

If you think of negotiation as a creative challenge, you can see it as an opportunity. — William Ury

Separate the People from the Problem. Focus on Interests, Not Positions. Invent Options for Mutual Gain. Insist on Using Objective Criteria. — William Ury

A mistake is only temporary; the failure to learn is permanent. An openness to learning is what makes a great negotiator. — William Ury

In negotiation, use a mutual gains approach so that all sides can have their needs and interests met. — William Ury

Maybe the greatest power we have in negotiation is the power *not* to react. — William Ury

William Ury Famous Quotes And Sayings

Take Away Their Stick If the other's reaction to our No is to hurt or threaten us, our first instinct may be to hurt them back. A more effective strategy, however, is to neutralize the impact of their behavior. If they are threatening to hit you with a stick, don't hit them back; just take away the stick. In other words, don't attack the other, but simply remove their ability to attack you. — William Ury

You need to suspend your reaction when you feel like striking back, to listen when you feel like talking back, to ask questions when you feel like telling your opponent the answers, to bridge your differences when you feel like pushing for your way, and to educate when you feel like escalating. — William Ury

Respect is essentially a yes to others, not to their demands, but rather to their basic humanity. In this sense, respect is indivisible. When we give respect to others, we are honoring the very same humanity that exists in us. When we acknowledge the dignity of others, we are acknowledging our own dignity. We cannot truly respect others without respecting ourselves at the same time. — William Ury

The balcony is a metaphor for a mental and emotional place of perspective, calm, and self-control. If life is a stage and we are all actors on that stage, then the balcony is a place from which we can see the entire play unfolding with greater clarity. To observe ourselves, it is valuable to go to the balcony at all times, and especially before, during, and after any problematic conversation or negotiation. — William Ury

Our challenge is not to eliminate conflict but to transform it; from coercion to consent and from force to mutual interest. — William Ury

Once the fight-or-flight reaction gets triggered, the blood flows from our brain to our limbs, and our ability to think clearly diminishes. We forget our purpose and often act exactly contrary to our interests. When we react, we give away our power – our power to influence the other person constructively and to change the situation for the better. When we react, we are, in effect, saying no to our interests, no to ourselves. — William Ury

If you can learn how to say No skillfully and wisely, you can create what you want, protect what you value, and change what doesn’t work. — William Ury

Colombia plebiscite result is setback, but process will go on. Time to go to balcony- be creative. Main thing is everyone agrees to end war. — William Ury

The research suggests that, with a few exceptions, major events or traumas that occur even three months earlier have little to no effect on our present happiness. The reason is that we are able to make our own happiness. We change the way we see the world so that we can feel better. — William Ury

By changing our inner game, we can change the outer game to produce mutual satisfaction and healthy relationships. — William Ury

Winston Churchill once quipped, 'The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.' Trust. — William Ury

Become a reflective negotiator - someone who learns everyday from their experiences and applies the art of continuous improvement. — William Ury

Self-judgment may be the greatest barrier to self-understanding. If we want to understand other human beings, there is no better way than to listen to them with empathy like a close friend would. If you wish to understand yourself, the same rule applies: listen with empathy. Instead of talking negatively to yourself, try to listen to yourself with respect and positive attention. Instead of judging yourself, accept yourself just as you are. — William Ury

Self-observation is the foundation for self-mastery. Self-observation if practiced daily can help to keep us from reacting. — William Ury

What sustains this 'win-lose' mindset is a sense of scarcity, the fear that there is just not enough to go around, so we need to look out for ourselves even at the expense of others. — William Ury

How many of us can honestly say that we have plumbed the depths of our minds and hearts? How many of us regularly listen to ourselves with empathy and understanding – in the supportive way that a trusted friend can? — William Ury

Most attackers are looking for easy victims. They're not looking for a fight, not even a verbal one. Saying No makes you a less attractive target. Submitting and being nice to attackers in the hope that they will be nice to you in return is not the safest strategy. — William Ury

Even difficult emotions can be part of good negotiation if you find a way to express them clearly and cleanly without attacking the other. — William Ury

Stay in the Zone. It is so easy in the midst of conflict to get lost in resentment about the past or in anxieties about the future. The challenge is to do the opposite and stay in the present moment, the only place where you have the power to experience true satisfaction as well as to change the situation for the better. — William Ury

In negotiation keep your eyes on the prize so that you don’t get mad and you don’t get even; you get what you want. — William Ury

The other often much prefers a clear answer, even if it is No, than continued indecision and waffling. — William Ury

Conflict is natural and can be healthy if handled in a constructive and positive manner - Soft on the person, hard on the problem. — William Ury

In principled negotiation focus on basic interests, mutually satisfying options, and fair standards to reach a wise agreement. — William Ury

Perhaps the biggest obstacle is an internal resistance or no to life as it is: we regret the past, worry about the future, and reject our present circumstances. The key to staying in the zone is to let go of this internal resistance and accept the past, trust the future, and embrace the present, just as they are. The key, in other words, is to say yes to life. — William Ury

The more you clarify your position and defend it against attack, the more committed you become to it. — William Ury

Systematic tools for getting results, whether in business or international diplomacy, summed up in Beyond Machiavelli and Getting It DONE. — William Ury

The least expensive and most valuable concession you can make in negotiation is to respect the other side's dignity. — William Ury

George Bernard Shaw once observed: 'People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them.' — William Ury

The biggest opportunity in negotiation? Invent options for mutual gain. Some of the best ideas in the world started off as wild ideas. — William Ury

Effective negotiators assert interests strongly while seeking a creative solution that meets both sides’ needs. — William Ury

As useful as looking for objective reality can be, it is ultimately the reality as each side sees it that constitutes the problem in a negotiation and opens the way to a solution. — William Ury

Negotiating based on interests generally produces better agreements & better relationships than merely battling over opposed positions. — William Ury

People listen better if they feel that you have understood them. They tend to think that those who understand them are intelligent and sympathetic people whose own opinions may be worth listening to. So if you want the other side to appreciate your interests, begin by demonstrating that you appreciate theirs. — William Ury

As Martin Luther King Jr. once said, 'Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.' — William Ury

Life Lessons by William Ury

1. The power of empathy: Ury emphasizes the importance of understanding the needs and perspectives of others. By putting ourselves in their shoes, we can build bridges of empathy and create a foundation for productive dialogue.
2. The art of principled negotiation: Ury advocates for principled negotiation, which involves focusing on interests rather than positions. By separating people from the problem and seeking mutually beneficial solutions, we can achieve win-win outcomes. To learn more about it I recommend reading his books Getting to Yes and Getting Past No.
3. The significance of patience and perseverance: Ury encourages patience and perseverance in the face of difficult negotiations. He believes that taking the time to explore all possible options and remaining steadfast in our pursuit of resolution can lead to successful outcomes.