Introduction

What are the best H. L. Mencken quotes? H. L. Mencken quotations on love, marriage, religion, democracy, politics are those that make this writer famous. Here you can read the most famous quotes by H. L. Mencken sorted by user likes.

Best H. L. Mencken quotes

Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of dilemmas.

  • Choice

Don't overestimate the decency of the human race.

  • Manners

On one issue at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.

  • Agreement

For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.

  • Problems



There is no record in history of a happy philosopher.

  • Philosophy

It is a sin to believe evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake.

  • Belief

The truth that survives is simply the lie that is pleasantest to believe.

  • DeceptionLying

If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.

  • Trust

The lunatic fringe wags the underdog.

  • Eccentric

Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse.

  • Temptation

To be in love is merely to be in a perpetual state of anesthesia.

  • Love

How little it takes to make life unbearable: a pebble in the shoe, a cockroach in the spaghetti, a woman's laugh.

  • Suffering

Time stays, we go.

  • Time

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.

  • Truth

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.

  • Cynicism

Alimony -- the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.

  • Divorce

What men value in this world is not rights but privileges.

  • Class

Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.

  • Conscience

It is hard for the ape to believe he descended from man.

  • Evolution

Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.

  • Marriage

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

  • Religion

Most people want security in this world, not liberty.

  • Safety

Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.

  • Voting

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

  • Age

Democracy is also a form of religion. It is the worship of jackals by jackasses.

  • Democracy

Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.

  • Family

A gentlemen is one who never strikes a woman without provocation.

  • Gentlemen

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

  • Love

Remorse is regret that one waited so long to do it.

  • Regret

Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.

  • Self


H. L. Mencken quotes images

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The most dangerous man, to any government, is the man who is able to think things out for himself... Almost inevitably, he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, and intolerable. - H. L. Mencken

The most dangerous man, to any government, is the man who is able to think things out for himself... Almost inevitably, he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, and intolerable.


Where is H. L. Mencken from? H. L. Mencken is American. A recognized writer. The following quotations and images represent the American peculiarities embed in H. L. Mencken's character.

What H. L. Mencken was famous for? H. L. Mencken is famous writer with many good quotes. Wise sayings can be accessed and memorized. H. L. Mencken is well-known and respected in American society.

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H. L. Mencken quotes about love

What are the best love quotations by H. L. Mencken?

To be in love is merely to be in a perpetual state of anesthesia.

  • Love

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

  • Love

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.

  • love

Love is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another.

  • Love

Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them.

  • Love

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

  • love

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia - to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess.

  • anesthesia

A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them.

  • begins

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence

  • definitions

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H. L. Mencken quotes about marriage

What are the best marriage quotations by H. L. Mencken?

Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.

  • Marriage

If I ever marry it will be on a sudden impulse, as a man shoots himself.

  • Marriage

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.

  • Marriage

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.

  • Marriage

For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe. Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end.

  • Marriage

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.

  • marriage

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.

  • marriage

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?

  • funny

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H. L. Mencken quotes about religion

What are the best religion quotations by H. L. Mencken?

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

  • Religion

Archbishop -- A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.

  • Religion

A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.

  • Religion

A nun, at best, is only half a woman, just as a priest is only half a man.

  • Religion

The truth is, as every one knows, that the great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom even ordinarily respectable. No virtuous man -- that is, virtuous in the Y.M.C.A. sense -- has ever painted a picture worth looking at, or written a symphony worth hearing, or a book worth reading, and it is highly improbable that the thing has ever been done by a virtuous woman.

  • Religion

All the political seers and sorcerers seem to be agreed that the coming Presidential campaign will be full of bitterness, and that most of it will be caused by religion. I count Prohibition as a part of religion, for it has surely become so in the United States. The Prohibitionists, seeing all their other arguments destroyed by the logic of events, have fallen back upon the mystical doctrine that God is somehow on their side, and that opposing them thus takes on the character of blasphemy.

  • Religion

The time must come inevitably when mankind shall surmount the imbecility of religion, as it has surmounted the imbecility of religion's ally, magic. It is impossible to imagine this world being really civilized so long as so much nonsense survives. In even its highest forms religion embraces concepts that run counter to all common sense. It can be defended only by making assumptions and adopting rules of logic that are never heard of in any other field of human thinking.

  • Religion

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

  • Religion

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H. L. Mencken quotes about democracy

What are the best democracy quotations by H. L. Mencken?

Democracy is also a form of religion. It is the worship of jackals by jackasses.

  • Democracy

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what They want, and deserve to get it good and hard.

  • Democracy

The cure for the evils of democracy is more democracy.

  • Democracy

I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing.

  • Democracy

Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven.

  • category

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

  • government

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

  • democracy

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

  • belief

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H. L. Mencken quotes about politics

What are the best politics quotations by H. L. Mencken?

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.

  • Politics

A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.

  • Politics

In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.

  • politics

Nothing is so abject and pathetic as a politician who has lost his job, save only a retired stud-horse.

  • Politics

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

  • Politics

Civilization, in fact, grows more maudlin and hysterical; especially under democracy it tends to degenerate into a mere combat of crazes; the whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary. Wars are no longer waged by the will of superior men, capable of judging dispassionately and intelligently the causes behind them and the effects flowing out of them. The are now begun by first throwing a mob into a panic; they are ended only when it has spent its ferine fury.

  • politics

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More quotes by H. L. Mencken

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It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull.

  • Certainty

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what They want, and deserve to get it good and hard.

  • Democracy

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.

  • Faith

Honor is simply the morality of superior men.

  • Honor



Adultery is the application of democracy to love.

  • Infidelity

JUDGE, n: A law student who marks his own papers.

  • Justice

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.

  • Knowledge

I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone.

  • Liberty

The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false face for the urge to rule it.

  • Power

There are two kinds of books. Those that no one reads and those that no one ought to read.

  • Reading

War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.

  • War

No matter how long he lives, no man ever becomes as wise as the average woman of forty-eight.

  • Wisdom

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.

  • love

I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time.

  • believe

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

  • Coffee

The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.

  • Crime

The only cure for contempt is counter-contempt.

  • Cruelty

The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.

  • DeceptionLying

The cure for the evils of democracy is more democracy.

  • Democracy

I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing.

  • Democracy

Jealousy is the theory that some other fellow has just as little taste.

  • Envy

In war the heroes always outnumber the soldiers ten to one.

  • HeroesHeroism

Historian -- an unsuccessful novelist.

  • History

Man is a beautiful machine that works very badly.

  • Humanity

Injustice is relatively easy to bear what stings is justice.

  • Justice

Love is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another.

  • Love

If I ever marry it will be on a sudden impulse, as a man shoots himself.

  • Marriage

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.

  • Men

Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on.

  • Men

The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.

  • Money

Morality is the theory that every human act must be either right or wrong, and that 99% of them are wrong.

  • Morals

Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country, it is a sign that he expects to be paid for it.

  • Patriotism

The average man does not get pleasure out of an idea because he thinks it is true; he thinks it is true because he gets pleasure out of it.

  • Pleasure

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.

  • Politics

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.

  • conscience

A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.

  • crazier

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.

  • ashamed

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

  • almost

A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.

  • children

I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs.

  • Actions

A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank.

  • AlcoholAlcoholism

I write in order to attain that feeling of tension relieved and function achieved which a cow enjoys on giving milk.

  • Authors

The curse of man, and the cause of nearly all his woe, is his stupendous capacity for believing the incredible.

  • Belief

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.

  • Conscience

Imagine the Creator as a stand up comedian - and at once the world becomes explicable.

  • Creation

Criticism is prejudice made plausible.

  • Criticism

Let's not burn the universities yet. After all, the damage they do might be worse.

  • Education

We must be willing to pay a price for freedom.

  • Freedom

A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendurable.

  • Innovation

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.

  • Marriage

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.

  • Marriage

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.

  • Men

No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.

  • Men

Man weeps to think that he will die so soon; woman, that she was born so long ago.

  • Men

An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it is also more nourishing.

  • Perception

Women have simple tastes. They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in love.

  • Pleasure

A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both ears to the ground.

  • Politics

After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.

  • Quotations

The chief knowledge that a man gets from reading books is the knowledge that very few of them are worth reading.

  • Reading

Archbishop -- A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.

  • Religion

A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.

  • Religion

The fact that I have no remedy for all the sorrows of the world is no reason for my accepting yours. It simply supports the strong probability that yours is a fake.

  • Solutions

Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

  • Taxation

I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave. And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.

  • Truth

It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods.

  • imagination

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.

  • cabbage

All government, of course, is against liberty.

  • against

Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

  • happy

No one in this world has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby.

  • anyone

Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven.

  • category

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

  • funny

Morality is the theory that every human act must be either right or wrong, and that 99 % of them are wrong.

  • act

In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.

  • politics

The world always makes the assumption that the exposure of an error is identical with the discovery of truth--that the error and truth are simply opposite. They are nothing of the sort. What the world turns to, when it is cured on one error, is usually simply another error, and maybe one worse than the first one.

  • Assumptions

No man could bring himself to reveal his true character, and, above all, his true limitations as a citizen and a Christian, his true meannesses, his true imbecilities, to his friends, or even to his wife. Honest autobiography is therefore a contradiction in terms: the moment a man considers himself, even in petto, he tries to gild and fresco himself. Thus a man's wife, however realistic her view of him, always flatters him in the end, for the worst she sees in him is appreciably better, by the time she sees it, than what is actually there.

  • Character

Communism, like any other revealed religion, is largely made up of prophecies.

  • Communism

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics and chemistry.

  • Conformity

It is impossible to think of a man of any actual force and originality, universally recognized as having those qualities, who spent his whole life appraising and describing the work of other men.

  • Criticism

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

  • Cynicism

Lying is not only excusable; it is not only innocent; it is, above all, necessary and unavoidable. Without the ameliorations that it offers, life would become a mere syllogism and hence too metallic to be borne.

  • DeceptionLying

The Belief that man is outfitted with an immortal soul, differing altogether from the engines which operate the lower animals, is ridiculously unjust to them. The difference between the smartest dog and the stupidest man

  • Dogs

Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.

  • Doubt

School-days, I believe, are the unhappiest in the whole span of human existence. They are full of dull, unintelligible tasks, new and unpleasant ordinances, brutal violations of common sense and common decency. It doesn't take a reasonably bright boy long to discover that most of what is rammed into him is nonsense, and that no one really cares very much whether he learns it or not.

  • Education

The aim of public education is not to spread enlightenment at all: it is simply to reduce as many individuals as possible to the same safe level, to breed a standard citizenry, to put down dissent and originality.

  • Education

And what is a good citizen? Simply one who never says, does or thinks anything that is unusual. Schools are maintained in order to bring this uniformity up to the highest possible point. A school is a hopper into which children are heaved while they are still young and tender; therein they are pressed into certain standard shapes and covered from head to heels with official rubber-stamps.

  • Education

A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.

  • Fame

No one hates his job so heartily as a farmer.

  • Farming

The movies today are too rich to have any room for genuine artists. They produce a few passable craftsmen, but no artists. Can you imagine a Beethoven making $100, 000 a year?

  • Film

God is the immemorial refuge of the incompetent, the helpless, the miserable. They find not only sanctuary in His arms, but also a kind of superiority, soothing to their macerated egos: He will set them above their betters.

  • God

The objection of the scandalmonger is not that she tells of racy doings, but that she pretends to be indignant about them.

  • Gossip

Government is actually the worst failure of civilized man. There has never been a really good one, and even those that are most tolerable are arbitrary, cruel, grasping and unintelligent.

  • Government

The legislature, like the executive, has ceased to be even the creature of the people: it is the creature of pressure groups, and most of them, it must be manifest, are of dubious wisdom and even more dubious honesty. Laws are no longer made by a rational process of public discussion; they are made by a process of blackmail and intimidation, and they are executed in the same manner. The typical lawmaker of today is a man wholly devoid of principle

  • Government

As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft.

  • Heart

Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and missing? That's the way the mind of man operates.

  • Humanity

The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line.

  • Humanity

Hygiene is the corruption of medicine by morality. It is impossible to find a hygienist who does not debase his theory of the healthful with a theory of the virtuous. The true aim of medicine is not to make men virtuous; it is to safeguard and rescue them from the consequences of their vices.

  • Hygiene

It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods. If such a board actually exists it operates precisely like the board of a corporation that is losing money.

  • Imagination

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

  • Justice

One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is also vastly more intelligent.

  • Laughter

Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.

  • Law

There is nothing worse than an idle hour, with no occupation offering. People who have many such hours are simply animals waiting docilely for death. We all come to that state soon or late. It is the curse of senility.

  • Laziness

Life is a dead-end street.

  • Life

Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them.

  • Love

Man is never honestly the fatalist, nor even the stoic. He fights his fate, often desperately. He is forever entering bold exceptions to the rulings of the bench of gods. This fighting, no doubt, makes for human progress, for it favors the strong and the brave. It also makes for beauty, for lesser men try to escape from a hopeless and intolerable world by creating a more lovely one of their own.

  • Mankind

For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe. Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end.

  • Marriage

To the best of my knowledge and belief, the average American newspaper, even of the so-called better sort, is not only quite as bad as Upton Sinclair says it is, but 10 times worse

  • Media

It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards celibacy as an actual sin.

  • Men

A man's women folk, whatever their outward show of respect for his merit and authority, always regard him secretly as an ass, and with something akin to pity. His most gaudy sayings and doings seldom deceive them; they see the actual man within, and know him for a shallow and pathetic fellow. In this fact, perhaps, lies one of the best proofs of feminine intelligence, or, as the common phrase makes it, feminine intuition.

  • Men

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later, for another thing, they die earlier.

  • Men

The most valuable of all human possessions, next to a superior and disdainful air, is the reputation of being well-to-do.

  • Money

Time is the great equalizer in the field of morals.

  • Morals

The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught.

  • Morals

Moral certainty is always a sign of cultural inferiority. The more uncivilized the man, the surer he is that he knows precisely what is right and what is wrong. All human progress, even in morals, has been the work of men who have doubted the current moral values, not of men who have whooped them up and tried to enforce them. The truly civilized man is always skeptical and tolerant, in this field as in all others. His culture is based on I am not too sure.

  • Morals

The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral.

  • Music

Opera in English, is about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

  • Opera

A metaphysician is one who, when you remark that twice two makes four, demands to know what you mean by twice, what by two, what by makes, and what by four. For asking such questions metaphysicians are supported in oriental luxury in the universities, and respected as educated and intelligent men.

  • Philosophy

Philosophy consists very largely of one philosopher arguing that all others are jackasses. He usually proves it, and I should add that he also usually proves that he is one himself.

  • Philosophy

Nothing is so abject and pathetic as a politician who has lost his job, save only a retired stud-horse.

  • Politics

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

  • Politics

So few men are really worth knowing, that it seems a shameful waste to let an anthropoid prejudice stand in the way of free association with one who is.

  • Prejudice

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When H. L. Mencken was born? H. L. Mencken was born on September 12, 1880.

Who is H. L. Mencken? H. L. Mencken biography. Henry Louis "H. L." Mencken (September 12, 1880 – January 29, 1956) was an American journalist, essayist, magazine editor, satirist, critic of American life and culture, and scholar of American English. Known as the "Sage of Baltimore", he is regarded as one of the most influential American writers and prose stylists of the first half of the twentieth century. Many of his books remain in print. Mencken is known for writing The American Language, a multi-volume study of how the English language is spoken in the United States, and for his satirical reporting on the Scopes trial, which he dubbed the "Monkey Trial". He commented widely on the social scene, literature, music, prominent politicians, pseudo-experts, the temperance movement, and uplifters. A keen cheerleader of scientific progress, he was very skeptical of economic theories and particularly critical of anti-intellectualism, bigotry, populism, fundamentalist Christianity, creationism, organized religion, the existence of God, and osteopathic/chiropractic medicine. In addition to his literary accomplishments, Mencken was known for his controversial ideas. As a frank admirer of German philosopher Nietzsche, he was not a proponent of representative democracy, which he believed was a system in which inferior men dominated their superiors. During and after World War I, he was sympathetic to the Germans, and was very distrustful of British propaganda. However, he also referred to Adolf Hitler and his followers as "ignorant thugs." Mencken, through his wide criticism of actions taken by government, has had a strong impact on the American left and the American libertarian movement.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Part 1
Introduction

Part 2
Best H. L. Mencken quotes
Top 10 quotes by H. L. Mencken

Part 3
H. L. Mencken quotes images

Part 4
Love
Marriage
Religion
Democracy
Politics
All quotes

Part 5
Similar Writers

Part 6
Favorite topics

Part 7
Conclusion

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