A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility. — Lawrence G. Lovasik
There is a great need for a sarcasm font. — Darynda Jones
I grew up as a very sarcastic person. I was always the class clown, and to date girls I had to be really funny. I was really skinny growing up. — Kurt Fuller
Neither irony or sarcasm is argument. — Samuel Butler
At a time like this, scorching irony, not convincing argument, is needed. — Frederick Douglass
My dad is a very quick-witted, sarcastic, dry, humorous guy, whereas my mom's very silly, and that side of the family is very musical. — Tim Heidecker
The satirical direction I have chosen is an indication of my disappointment in man, which is the opposite way of saying that I have high expectations for the human race. — Jack Levine
Satire is, by definition, offensive. It is meant to make us feel uncomfortable. It is meant to make us scratch our heads, think, do a double-take, and then think again. — Maajid Nawaz
The laughter of the aphorism is sometimes triumphant, but seldom carefree. — Mason Cooley
Isn't it the sweetest mockery to mock our enemies? — Sophocles
Short Sarcastic Quotes
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you. — Groucho Marx
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed! — William Shakespeare
In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem. — George Carlin
What a fine weather today! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself. — Anton Chekhov
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well. — Mark Twain
Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? — Benny Hill
If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out. — Lawrence Ferlinghetti
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target — Ashleigh Brilliant
I'm not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells. — Richard Pryor
It's better to be a dictator than gay. — Alexander Lukashenko
If you think research is expensive, try disease! — Mary Lasker
The true God, the mighty God, is the God of ideas. — Alfred de Vigny
Friendship Sarcastic Quotes
I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. — Matt Groening
Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy. — Spike Milligan
He hasn't an enemy in the world - but all his friends hate him. — Eddie Cantor
I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones. — Oscar Wilde
We English are good at forgiving our enemies; it releases us from the obligation of liking our friends. — P. D. James
Friendship is far more tragic than love. It lasts longer. — Oscar Wilde
Family Sarcastic Quotes
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. — George Carlin
I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary. — Victor Borge
Marriage is meant to be more about your surrender than about your satisfaction. — Scott Means
I grew up in a family of ten. You had to have, like, a burst appendix to get the floor.... My brothers and sisters are very quick, intense, brilliant, very sarcastic people. And they were always right there with you, right there, missing not one little throat clearing. — Mary Robison
My whole family is very sarcastic and constantly making jokes. — Emily Deschanel
Sarcastic Humor Quotes
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? — George Carlin
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff? — George Carlin
I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity. — George Carlin
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? — George Carlin
Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes. — George Carlin
Political correctness is tyranny with manners. — Charlton Heston
There are no nudists in cold areas. — Tsugumi Ohba
Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? — Mae West
Everyone smiles in the same language. — George Carlin
People always tell me "Have a nice day." Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day? — George Carlin
Being Sarcastic Quotes
Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic. — Homer
This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever. — Sigmund Freud
For some are in the habit of carrying about the name in wicked guile, while they still practice things unworthy of God. You must flee these as you would wild beasts. For they are ravening dogs, who bite secretly, against whom you must be on your guard, since they are men who can scarcely be cured. — Ignatius of Antioch
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. — Steven Wright
Every single word you have spoken is sharp, sarcastic and twisted. When I thought you were abnormal you suddenly turned out to be normal. When I thought you were normal you turned out to be abnormal. — Jae Hee
McDonald's being the official restaurant of the Olympics is like smoking being the official medicine of cancer. — Robert Downey, Jr.
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. — Ashleigh Brilliant
The harshest criticism may be the best words you ever hear. — Eric Yuan
When you're being earnest, people think you're being sarcastic and when you're being sarcastic, they think you're being earnest. The moral in all this, of course, is that people should never attempt to communicate. — Charlie Brooker
Sarcastic Love Quotes
If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire. — George Carlin
This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic. — Lorrie Moore
Love is like a booger, you pick and pick at it. Then when you get it you wonder how to get rid of it. — Mae West
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, he's probably LK Advani — Narendra Modi
I don't suffer from my insanity -- I enjoy every minute of it. — Sherrilyn Kenyon
America knows nothing of food, love, or art. — Isadora Duncan
We fall in love when our imagination projects nonexistent perfection upon another person. One day, the fantasy evaporates and with it, love dies. — Jose Ortega y Gasset
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. — Ashleigh Brilliant
Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven't fallen asleep yet — Steve Valentine
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. — Steven Wright
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. — Erma Bombeck
No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend. — Groucho Marx
Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an ass. — Stephen Hawking
Sarcastic Person Quotes
A modest little person, with much to be modest about. — Winston Churchill
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? — George Carlin
He has the attention span of a lightning bolt. — Robert Redford
I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead. — Mark Twain
Avoid using cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs as alternatives to being an interesting person. — Marilyn vos Savant
He never bore a grudge against anyone he wronged. — Simone Signoret
That I walk around calling people 'dummy' and 'hockey puck'. I do have a different life apart from being sarcastic on stage. I might kibitz around with my friends, but I'm nothing like the person who does stand up. Nothing like that. — Don Rickles
I can be a very sarcastic person, and sometimes people take every word I say literally. — Sasha Grey
I saw what a mess a lot of people could make of their lives when they're smitten. Some of them go temporarily insane. They find a person who they think holds the key to their happiness-the only key to their happiness... My work has always been my greatest happiness — Mae West
My father was a very unhappy person, very sarcastic, and my mother was very nervous and worried about what people thought. They weren't monsters, but it wasn't a good childhood. — Paula Danziger
Very Sarcastic Quotes
What are we doing here? Has something gone wrong?” “Oh no, Ron,” came Fred’s voice, very sarcastically. “No, this is exactly where we wanted to end up. — J. K. Rowling
I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. — George Carlin
Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today? — Russell Lynes
Most of the world's work is done by people who don't feel very well. — Winston Churchill
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head. — Margot Asquith
You know, when most girls say they want a big rock, they don't mean, you know, literally a big rock." "Very amusing, my sarcastic friend. It's not a rock, precisely. All Shadowhunters have a witchlight rune-stone. — Cassandra Clare
Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side — Thomas Sowell
Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own. — Russell Lynes
What you said hurt me very much. I cried all the way to the bank. — Liberace
The Australian sense of humor is very dry, sarcastic, and very undercover. Like if I tell any jokes in America, people just think I'm serious! So I just quit telling any jokes whatsoever. — Heath Ledger
Sarcasm Quotes
I can fluently speak five languages: English, emoji, sexting, sarcasm and sass. — Tyler Oakley
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow. — Evan Esar
For every single dark night there is a brighter day. — Tupac Shakur
I want either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it. — Ashleigh Brilliant
Random acts of kindness is the worst thing like f**k off honestly. — PewDiePie
Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem. — Woody Allen
Detection is, or ought to be, an exact science, and should be treated in the same cold and unemotional manner. You have attempted to tinge it with romanticism, which produces much the same effect as if you worked a love-story or an elopement into the fifth proposition of Euclid. — Arthur Conan Doyle
Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates. — Abbott Lawrence Lowell
How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat? — Roger Waters
Everyone who ever walked barefoot into his child's room late at night hates Legos. — Tony Kornheiser
In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism. They have formed their own 4-H Club - the 'hopeless, hysterical hypochondriacs of history.' — Spiro T. Agnew
The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. — Helen Rowland
Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious. — Oscar Wilde
I looked down at my clothes. They were slashed to pieces and full of bullet holes, but I was fine. Not a mark on me. Nico's mouth hung open. "You just . . . with a sword . . . you just—" "I think the river thing worked," I said. "Oh gee," he said sarcastically. "You think? — Rick Riordan
Curse the blasted, jelly-boned swines, the slimy, the belly-wriggling invertebrates, the miserable soddingrotters, the flaming sods, the sniveling, dribbling, dithering, palsied, pulse-less lot that make up England today. They've got white of egg in their veins, and their spunk is that watery it's a marvel they can breed. — D. H. Lawrence
The freedom of any society varies proportionately with the volume of its laughter. — Zero Mostel
I'll bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork. — Irving Brecher
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper. — Andy Rooney
In Conclusion
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