There has to be irony, both in design and in the objects. I see around me a professional disease of taking everything too seriously. One of my secrets is to joke all the time — Achille Castiglioni
Satirists gain the applause of others through fear, not through love. — William Hazlitt
Short Sarcasm Quotes
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you. — Groucho Marx
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well. — Mark Twain
If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out. — Lawrence Ferlinghetti
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target — Ashleigh Brilliant
I can fluently speak five languages: English, emoji, sexting, sarcasm and sass. — Tyler Oakley
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow. — Evan Esar
For every single dark night there is a brighter day. — Tupac Shakur
If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire. — George Carlin
I want either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it. — Ashleigh Brilliant
Random acts of kindness is the worst thing like f**k off honestly. — PewDiePie
Sarcasm Image Quotes
Work Sarcasm Quotes
Detection is, or ought to be, an exact science, and should be treated in the same cold and unemotional manner. You have attempted to tinge it with romanticism, which produces much the same effect as if you worked a love-story or an elopement into the fifth proposition of Euclid. — Arthur Conan Doyle
The world is divided into people who do things and people who get the credit. — Dwight Morrow
You know you're getting old when everything hurts. And what doesn't hurt doesn't work. — Hy Gardner
...Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel; at his worst he is unspeakable, unimaginable; and first and last and all the time he is a sarcasm. Yet he blandly and in all sincerity calls himself the 'noblest work of God.' — Mark Twain
Irish was a man of parts even if some of them didn't work too well. — Angela Carter
I always had to rely on humor and sarcasm. And when I started having kids, that doesn't work with kids. Kids don't understand sarcasm, and they certainly don't understand my humor. — Kurt Fuller
Few authors are so interesting as their work - they generally reserve their wit or trenchant sarcasm for their books. — Alec-Tweedie
His neighbor is a tooth-drawer. That bag at his girdle is full of the teeth that he drew at Winchester fair. I warrant that there are more sound ones than sorry, for he is quick at his work and a trifle dim in the eye. — Arthur Conan Doyle
Sarcasm doesn't appear to work on him. If that's true, I'm in trouble: It's my normal mode of communication. — Rick Yancey
Any game plan? Xypher asked Sin. Don't die. I like it. Simple, bold. Impossible. Works for me. Kat scoffed at his sarcasm. What are you bitching about, Xypher? You're already dead. He laughed. You know, for once, it's good to be me. — Sherrilyn Kenyon
Dark Sarcasm Quotes
How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat? — Roger Waters
For every dark night, there is a brighter day. — Harriet Morgan
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. — Ashleigh Brilliant
If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies? — Charlie Pierce
If you want to know the Correct term for me, I'm a Dark-Hunter." Nick digested that word slowly. "Which means what? You hunt darkness?" "Yes, Nick. That's exactly what I do. There's just not enough of it." Now, there was some sarcasm you could cut with a knife. — Sherrilyn Kenyon
Sarcastic Humor Quotes
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? — George Carlin
In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem. — George Carlin
What a fine weather today! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself. — Anton Chekhov
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff? — George Carlin
I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity. — George Carlin
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? — George Carlin
Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes. — George Carlin
Political correctness is tyranny with manners. — Charlton Heston
There are no nudists in cold areas. — Tsugumi Ohba
Sarcastic Quotes
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed! — William Shakespeare
Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? — Benny Hill
I'm not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells. — Richard Pryor
In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism. They have formed their own 4-H Club - the 'hopeless, hysterical hypochondriacs of history.' — Spiro T. Agnew
Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic. — Homer
Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? — Mae West
I grew up as a very sarcastic person. I was always the class clown, and to date girls I had to be really funny. I was really skinny growing up. — Kurt Fuller
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. — George Carlin
For some are in the habit of carrying about the name in wicked guile, while they still practice things unworthy of God. You must flee these as you would wild beasts. For they are ravening dogs, who bite secretly, against whom you must be on your guard, since they are men who can scarcely be cured. — Ignatius of Antioch
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. — Steven Wright
Every single word you have spoken is sharp, sarcastic and twisted. When I thought you were abnormal you suddenly turned out to be normal. When I thought you were normal you turned out to be abnormal. — Jae Hee
McDonald's being the official restaurant of the Olympics is like smoking being the official medicine of cancer. — Robert Downey, Jr.
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. — Ashleigh Brilliant
The harshest criticism may be the best words you ever hear. — Eric Yuan
When you're being earnest, people think you're being sarcastic and when you're being sarcastic, they think you're being earnest. The moral in all this, of course, is that people should never attempt to communicate. — Charlie Brooker
Sarcastic Person Quotes
A modest little person, with much to be modest about. — Winston Churchill
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? — George Carlin
He has the attention span of a lightning bolt. — Robert Redford
I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead. — Mark Twain
Avoid using cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs as alternatives to being an interesting person. — Marilyn vos Savant
We fall in love when our imagination projects nonexistent perfection upon another person. One day, the fantasy evaporates and with it, love dies. — Jose Ortega y Gasset
He never bore a grudge against anyone he wronged. — Simone Signoret
That I walk around calling people 'dummy' and 'hockey puck'. I do have a different life apart from being sarcastic on stage. I might kibitz around with my friends, but I'm nothing like the person who does stand up. Nothing like that. — Don Rickles
I can be a very sarcastic person, and sometimes people take every word I say literally. — Sasha Grey
I saw what a mess a lot of people could make of their lives when they're smitten. Some of them go temporarily insane. They find a person who they think holds the key to their happiness-the only key to their happiness... My work has always been my greatest happiness — Mae West
Very Sarcastic Quotes
My dad is a very quick-witted, sarcastic, dry, humorous guy, whereas my mom's very silly, and that side of the family is very musical. — Tim Heidecker
What are we doing here? Has something gone wrong?” “Oh no, Ron,” came Fred’s voice, very sarcastically. “No, this is exactly where we wanted to end up. — J. K. Rowling
I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. — George Carlin
Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today? — Russell Lynes
Most of the world's work is done by people who don't feel very well. — Winston Churchill
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head. — Margot Asquith
You know, when most girls say they want a big rock, they don't mean, you know, literally a big rock." "Very amusing, my sarcastic friend. It's not a rock, precisely. All Shadowhunters have a witchlight rune-stone. — Cassandra Clare
Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side — Thomas Sowell
Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own. — Russell Lynes
What you said hurt me very much. I cried all the way to the bank. — Liberace
Sarcastic One Liners Quotes
I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots. — Ron White
I don't suffer from my insanity -- I enjoy every minute of it. — Sherrilyn Kenyon
Marriage is meant to be more about your surrender than about your satisfaction. — Scott Means
And they'd [the Death Eaters] love to have me," said Harry sarcastically. "We'd be best pals if they didn't keep trying to do me in. — J. K. Rowling
In Lubbock, we grew up with two main things: God loves you and he's gonna send you to hell, and that sex is bad and dirty and nasty and awful and you should save it for the one you love. — Butch Hancock
For hearts that are kindly, with virtue and peace, and not seeking blindly a hoard to increase; for those who are grieving o'er life's sordid plan; for souls still believing in heaven and man; for homes that are lowly with love at the board; for things th — Walter Mason Camp
That’s the American Dream: to make your life into something you can sell. — Chuck Palahniuk
Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem. — Woody Allen
Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don't take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates. — Abbott Lawrence Lowell
Everyone who ever walked barefoot into his child's room late at night hates Legos. — Tony Kornheiser
My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain. — Jeff Ross
Somebody says, 'Do a Tom Bodett, a folksy kind of thing,' and it sounds like something out of 'Hee Haw,' very insulting. They turn wry humor into disparaging sarcasm, and you get what amounts to insulting advertising. — Tom Bodett
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper. — Andy Rooney
The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremendous boredom. — Dave Barry
About time," Christian said. "Lissa and Adrian get the market share on worrying about you, but they're not the only ones. And someone needs to put Adrian in his place, you know. I can't do it all the time." "Thanks. It kills me to say this, but I missed you too. No one's sarcasm compares to yours in Russia. — Richelle Mead
Malachi scowled. "I don't remember the Clave inviting you into the Glass City, Magnus Bane." "They didn't," Magnus said. "Your wards are down." "Really?" the Consul's voice dripped sarcasm. "I hadn't noticed." Magnus looked concerned. "That's terrible. Someone should have told you." He glanced at Luke. "Tell him the wards are down. — Cassandra Clare
Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the sex: "Girls girls, ooo". Naturally you want to look your best, and God says "No! You will look the worst you've ever looked in your life!" — Eddie Izzard
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. — Groucho Marx
Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy. — Spike Milligan
Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. — Oscar Wilde
Humor does not include sarcasm, invalid irony, sardonicism, innuendo, or any other form of cruelty. When these things are raised to a high point they can become wit, but unlike the French and the English, we have not been much good at wit since the days of Benjamin Franklin. — James Thurber
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception. — Oscar Wilde
Sarcasm is not the rapier of wit its wielders seem to believe it to be, but merely a club: it may, by dint of brute force, occasionally raise bruises, but it never cuts or pierces. — Rex Stout
He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary. — William Faulkner
I have only one ambition left: I should like to have a good epitaph. — Otto von Bismarck
How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them. — Groucho Marx
Can the sarcasm,' he said. 'Please, I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned. — Laurell K. Hamilton
My natural-born sarcasm, when it's unimpeded, can be a bit overbearing at times and I'm the first to admit that. — Tom Bergeron
Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt. — Cassandra Clare
In Conclusion
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