66+ Ron White Quotes On Education, Politics And Prayer

Ron White is an American stand-up comedian and actor, best known as a charter member of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. He is recognized for his cigar smoking and drinking, as well as his stories about growing up in a small town in Texas. He has released six major-label comedy albums, and has written two books: I Had the Right to Remain Silent But I Didn't Have the Ability and Ron "Tater Salad" White: Business Class. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Ron White on education, politics, leadership.

Top 10 Ron White Quotes

1. If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a party.
2. You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take, or a class you can go to.
3. I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
4. I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
5. In Texas, we have the death penalty, and we use it. That's right. If you come to Texas and kill somebody, we will kill you back.
6. I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.
7. Diamonds - that'll shut her up... for a minute!
8. I was so in love with the idea of making people laugh for a living that I didn't care what I had to do to get there. Or how much money I was going to make when I did get there.
9. My only goal is to make you laugh, not tell you the truth.
10. When life hands you lemons make lemonade. Then find someone who's life gave them Tequila and have a party.

Ron White Short Quotes

• When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
• I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
• They call me Tater Salad
• Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane.
• My goal is just to become a better comedian.
• Naw, man, I like big, hard, throbbing co- (stunned pause) ...I did not know that about myself.
• The next time you have a thought... let it go.
• Everybody I know is a joke writer.
• You can't ride home on a bowl of goat.
• You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.

Ron White Quotes About Life

Barbara was actually Jeff Foxworthy's interior designer when we first met. So, not only was Jeff responsible for my success in my career, he also introduced me to the woman who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, which, I think, makes us even. — Ron White

There have been times in my life that I've had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years. — Ron White

You can only do two things with your life: give it away or throw it away. — Ron White

I don't have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I'm going to keep talking. I can't imagine a life without doing standup. — Ron White

Ron White Famous Quotes And Sayings

Years ago, while I was watching a baseball game between the Baltimore Orioles and the Texas Rangers, I remember staring in awe at Cal Ripken. I realized during this game that 'you don't have to be flashy' or have 'power numbers' to be great. It's about the simple things that are the hard things. It's about leadership, work ethic and commitment. — Ron White

The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper. — Ron White

We have hearing aids in order to fix our ears. We have lasik surgery in order to fix our eyes. People ... you can't fix stupid! — Ron White

People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic. — Ron White

I only like the live audience. I don't even like to do standup where it's being filmed. Because it affects the way the audience responds to what you say, because it makes them uncomfortable. You have to perform in a light room, and I prefer a dark room. But I love to perform, and I don't really see myself doing any television at all. — Ron White

You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out. — Ron White

I'm a comedian, and I like to work on my live show, and if I'm doing television, I don't have time to work on my live show, and I can become a lame comic, and that sucks. — Ron White

I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine. — Ron White

I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em. — Ron White

I quit smoking cigarettes and with the $70 a month I am saving not smoking cigarettes I'm smoking $700 worth of cigars. — Ron White

I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers. — Ron White

But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It's like anything else. It's a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever. — Ron White

I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there. — Ron White

There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong. — Ron White

I smoke really good cigars, I don't smoke Cuban cigars. I would never do anything as Un-American as smoke a decent cigar. — Ron White

From the very beginning I started with a beer and a cigarette because I couldn't figure out what to do with my hands. So usually I have a beer and cigarette and that's what I was doing with my hands because that looked natural and felt good. — Ron White

If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it's being true to their nature... that's what takes a long time to learn. — Ron White

If you kill someone in Texas, we'll kill ya back. — Ron White

Star Wars Episode Three (And One Quarter): Revenge Of The Hicks — Ron White

The biggest piece of advice that I give young comedians is: If it's your goal to get where I'm at, go do something else. Because you'll never get here. Never. The odds are so bad. Because not only do you have to be a really, really strong comedian but you also have to be lucky. And most people don't get that combination. — Ron White

I'm definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won't. Then three years later I will finally try it and it'll kill them. I got to give them more credit. — Ron White

You can't fix stupid. — Ron White

There are a million really good cigars, you gotta really float around cigars. It's not like being locked into a brand of cigarettes; at least to me it's not. — Ron White

I have had a front row seat to observe Darren's success over the last few years and never fully knew the keys to his achievement. He has unselfishly revealed his secrets with The Compound Effect so that others can learn from his success. In my eyes, it is more valuable than gold! — Ron White

The bulk of my fans are my age, and I'm aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it's addicting, really. — Ron White

It's something that's really fun to do. It's a family business. — Ron White

There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between. — Ron White

I'd like to start off this show by asking you all a question, cause I don't know the answer. Uh, I lost my sunglasses and yesterday I went to the Sunglass Hut. Here's the question: Why does a pair of sunglasses cost more than a 25-inch color television set? I go to the Sunglass Hut. I see a pair that I like. I don't love them. I don't. I like 'em. $309. — Ron White

I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. — Ron White

I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow. — Ron White

I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you're a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level. — Ron White

I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He's probably the best comedian who ever lived. Although you can't say that because of Carlin, Cosby and Pryor. — Ron White

The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off. — Ron White

I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child. — Ron White

I don't do any corporate work. — Ron White

I did have a deal for a little while a cigar company that never really materialized that much, except that I ended up with 100 boxes of my own cigars with my signature on them. Which is great, they are wonderful cigars but they never really fulfilled out so now I'm out of it. I can sign up with somebody else or go pick a blend or whatever. I probably will, there is no sense in not doing it. — Ron White

Everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you're a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level. Ultimately I'm the writer for me, but also anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me and I'm pretty good at helping them get there. I think we all work together on some level, but for the most part, we're on our own. — Ron White

Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin. — Ron White

In my Comedy Club sets, I just work on what is fresh and try to build that show as long as I can. I don't like to do burnt material on stage. Even though my crowd loves to hear me do old stuff, I don't like to do old stuff. — Ron White

Apparently I ain't the only cat on the block digs cheetos. — Ron White

I don't even plan things until later, so no I got no plans. — Ron White

I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling. — Ron White

Life Lessons by Ron White

1. Ron White's comedic style emphasizes the importance of being true to oneself and not taking life too seriously.
2. His material often involves stories of his own experiences, which can be a great source of inspiration for others to find humor in their own lives.
3. Ron White's comedy also encourages people to be open-minded and to think outside the box when it comes to problem-solving.