Quotes by American Comedian George Carlin

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin

No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. George Carlin

That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin

Think of a person of average intelligence, and then realise half of the fucking country is more stupid than that idiot. George Carlin

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. George Carlin

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. George Carlin
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Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin

Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it. George Carlin

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. George Carlin

Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.- George Carlin
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I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect. George Carlin

If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin

Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that. George Carlin
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The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. George Carlin

Rhetoric paints with a broad brush. George Carlin

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin

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