110+ Bill Hicks Quotes On Provocative, Insightful And Satirical

Bill Hicks was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, satirist and musician. He was known for his dark and controversial material, which often included topics such as religion, politics, and philosophy. He was a major influence on modern comedy, and his work has been praised by many of today's top comedians. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Bill Hicks on love, life, provocative.

Top 10 Bill Hicks Quotes

1. Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.
2. Don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.
3. I'm tired of this back-slappin' "isn't humanity neat" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes.
4. I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.
5. I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me.
6. It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom.
7. I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.
8. I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, 'My dad can beat up your dad.' I'd say 'Yeah? When?'
9. I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.
10. If you're so pro-life, do me a favour: don't lock arms and block medical clinics. If you're so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.

Bill Hicks Image Quotes

I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck. — Bill Hicks

I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me. — Bill Hicks

It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Short Quotes

• Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.
• I don't care if you're obscene, filthy, horrendous -- as long as you're honest.
• It's an insane world, and I'm proud to be a part of it.
• Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health-nut dude. The plot thickens.
• Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can't find your fags.
• Man, the Beatles were so high, they let Ringo sing a coupla tunes. Tell me they weren't partyin'.
• Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let's put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.
• I'm a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
• I smoke to fill the potholes in my soul
• Isn't that weird, we've made nature against the law. That's how un-natural we've become.

Bill Hicks Quotes About Love

Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, "And I'm not getting laid." What am I doing wrong? — Bill Hicks

I loved when Bush came out and said, 'We are losing the war against drugs.' You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it. — Bill Hicks

Eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions god's infinite love. — Bill Hicks

The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one. — Bill Hicks

Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here's Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid. — Bill Hicks

I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action folks! You know he's got God on his side. — Bill Hicks

I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit. — Bill Hicks

...love rather than fear...this radical philosophy is coming from me, an avowed misanthrope...surely there is hope for us all. — Bill Hicks

I love talking about Kennedy assassination...a great archetypal example of how totalitarian government...sorry, wrong meeting. — Bill Hicks

Oh--won't we party hard when L.A. goes kersplash?...L.A. fell in the ocean?... There is a God. He loves us all so much. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes About Life

They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven't proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven't seen the stats on that yet. — Bill Hicks

It's really weird how your life changes. Tonight I'm drinking water. Four years ago? Opium. Night and day, you know? — Bill Hicks

Oh sorry, I was taking life seriously. — Bill Hicks

I'm very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn't possibly think of yourself... Good evening! — Bill Hicks

Is it impossible to imagine Americans sneaking into Mexico en masse, seeking regular employment and a better way of life? — Bill Hicks

I love talking about the Kennedy assassination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it. — Bill Hicks

I believe the cost of life is Death and we will all pay that in full. Everything else should be a gift. — Bill Hicks

Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather. — Bill Hicks

Will there be titty? Sure. Boom! I'm a producer. Where you been all our life, boy? We been lookin for you in Hollywood. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Quotes About People

How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? ...Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor? — Bill Hicks

People are bringing shotguns to UFO sightings in Fife, Alabama. I asked a guy, "Why do you bring a gun to a UFO sighting?" Guy said, "Way-ul, we didn' wanna be ab-duc-ted." If I lived in Fife, Alabama, I would be on my hands and knees every night praying for abduction. — Bill Hicks

I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. And I say no, it's not, Dad. Well, I believe that it is. Well, you know, some people believe they're Napoleon. That's fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don't share them like they're the truth. — Bill Hicks

People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left. — Bill Hicks

We are losing the 'War on Drugs,' which means there's a war going on and people on drugs are winning it. — Bill Hicks

Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it. — Bill Hicks

I saw...a kid on a leash. You seen these people? Kid on a leash? How horrible. Put him in the pound where he belongs. — Bill Hicks

I find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply. — Bill Hicks

People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself. — Bill Hicks

As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people. — Bill Hicks

Bill Hicks Famous Quotes And Sayings

This is where we are at right now, as a whole. No one is left out of the loop. We are experiencing a reality based on a thin veneer of lies and illusions. A world where greed is our God and wisdom is sin, where division is key and unity is fantasy, where the ego-driven cleverness of the mind is praised, rather than the intelligence of the heart. — Bill Hicks

I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck. — Bill Hicks

I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me. — Bill Hicks

It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom. — Bill Hicks

I'm glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going, "My God! I love everything." Yeah, now if that isn't a hazard to our country... How are we gonna justify arms dealing when we realize that we're all one? — Bill Hicks

People tell me, 'Bill, let it go. The Kennedy assassination was years ago. It was just the assassination of a President and the hijacking of our government by a totalitarian regime - who cares? Just let it go.' I say, 'All right then. That whole Jesus thing? Let it go! It was 2,000 years ago! Who cares?' — Bill Hicks

The waitress comes over to me like, 'What'chu readin' for?' I had never been asked that. Not 'What am I reading?' but 'What am I reading for?' Goddammit, you stumped me. Hmm, why do I read? I suppose I read for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being so I don't end up being a... waffle waitress. — Bill Hicks

Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit . . . unnatural? — Bill Hicks

There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue - those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS - but they remain strangely silent. — Bill Hicks

It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy. — Bill Hicks

I ascribe to Mark Twain's theory that the last person who should be President is the one who wants it the most. The one who should be picked is the one who should be dragged kicking and screaming into the White House. — Bill Hicks

I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious. — Bill Hicks

You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That's like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on. — Bill Hicks

You watch the news these days? It's unbelievable. You think you just walk out your door, you're immediately gonna be raped by some crack-addicted, AIDS-infected pitbull. — Bill Hicks

How do I know the Bible isn't the word of God? Well if it was the word of God it would be clear and easy to understand...considering God was the creator of LANGUAGE! — Bill Hicks

Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I'll prove it to you. You're at a ball game or a concert, and someone's really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot? — Bill Hicks

I don't know what you all believe, and I don't really care ... but you have to admit that beliefs are odd. Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks ... you really think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a fucking cross? — Bill Hicks

They believe the bible is the exact word of God - Then they change the bible! Pretty presumptuous, hu huh? "I think what God meant to say..." — Bill Hicks

Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um - they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right? — Bill Hicks

That's starting to depress me about UFOs. The fact that they cross galaxies...and always end up in places like Fyfe, Alabama. — Bill Hicks

I used to drink, I did, I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I'd get pulled over by the cops, I'd be so drunk I'd be out dancing to their lights thinking I'd made it to another club. — Bill Hicks

What strikes me as funny about Elvis is that all the impersonators choose to do the Vegas Elvis; not the young, cool guy, always the bloated fool. — Bill Hicks

The Voice of Reason is in us all...and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally. — Bill Hicks

I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman...come in the guise of a comic...to heal perception by using...'jokes'. — Bill Hicks

"Smoking may cause fetal injury or premature birth." ... I found my brand. Just don't get the ones that say, "Lung Cancer." — Bill Hicks

Just one thing I know for sure, chicks dig jerks. — Bill Hicks

I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your f-kin' mouth. — Bill Hicks

They tell us "Rock'n'roll is the devil's music." Well, let's say we know that rock is the devil's music, and we know that it is, for sure ... At least he f-kin' jams! If it's a choice between eternal Hell and good tunes, and eternal Heaven and New Kids on the f-kin' Block ... I'm gonna be surfin' on the lake of fire, rockin' out. — Bill Hicks

Oh my God. Lift me up out of this illusion, Lord. Heal my perception that I might know only reality and only you. — Bill Hicks

All day long you see those commercials: 'Here's Your Brain, Just Say No'...and the next commercial is: 'This Bud's For You.' — Bill Hicks

Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To make marijuana against the law is like saying that God made a mistake. — Bill Hicks

I was just down in Dallas, Texas...the Assassination Museum...it's really accurate, you know, 'cause Oswald's not in it. — Bill Hicks

What did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn't it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, It's gonna be worth it!. — Bill Hicks

The whole image is that eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions God's infinite love. That's the message we're brought up with, isn't it? Believe or die! Thank you, forgiving Lord, for all those options. — Bill Hicks

I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust. — Bill Hicks

You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian Gulf war those intelligence reports would come out: "Iraq: incredible weapons - incredible weapons." How do you know that? "Uh, well... we looked at the receipts." — Bill Hicks

Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both sexes I don't listen to. — Bill Hicks

That's why I always recommend a psychedelic experience because it makes you realize that all you've learned is in fact just learned and not necessarily the truth. — Bill Hicks

They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer — Bill Hicks

A Christian will say... "I believe God created me in one day" Yeah, looks liked He rushed it. — Bill Hicks

Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up. — Bill Hicks

I was always 'awake'...Some part of me clamoring for NEW insights and NEW ways to make the world a better place. — Bill Hicks

I'll tell you how to solve this abortion thing...Those unwanted babies...? Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps. — Bill Hicks

Truly, the only stupid people I've ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television. — Bill Hicks

Writing, acting, music, comedy. A deep love of literature and books. Thank God for all the artists who've helped me. — Bill Hicks

Be yourself on stage. Nobody else can be you and you have the law of supply and demand covered. — Bill Hicks

What before seemed a...frustrating wall, the comic deftly and fearlessly steps through, proving the absurdity of it all. — Bill Hicks

Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick--'You hate this country'....I have to tell him...I just hate being lied to. — Bill Hicks

I wish I could meet a Christian who would proselytize to me, but they keep running away from me. I wanna talk to you all. — Bill Hicks

If I thought the Jews killed God, I'd worship the Jews. — Bill Hicks

I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight. Guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now. Watching an empty stage. — Bill Hicks

If ur going to have a war on drugs, have them against ALL drugs, including alcohol, the number one offender. — Bill Hicks

The war on drugs to me is absolutely phoney, its so obviously phoney, ok? It's a war against our civil rights, that's all it is. They're using it to make us afraid to go out at night, afraid of each other, so that we lock ourselves in our homes and they get suspending our rights one by one. — Bill Hicks

Ultimately, it is in fun. It is supposed to be highly entertaining. — Bill Hicks

But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It's no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass. — Bill Hicks

I...am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light...in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required. — Bill Hicks

What's gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we're all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It's gonna fuck up the economy! The economy that's fake anyway! Ha ha ha! Which would be a real bummer. You know. You can see why the government's cracking down... on the idea of experiencing unconditional love, ah. — Bill Hicks

We really are All One....this is the very philosophy that has kept me virtually anonymous in America for fifteen years. — Bill Hicks

How about a positive LSD story? Wouldn't that be news-worthy, just the once? To base your decision on information rather than scare tactics and superstition and lies? I think it would be news-worthy. — Bill Hicks

I saw a sign on the side of the road in Tennessee once that said 'dirt for sale'... what a great country we live in. DIRT for sale. How would you like to get inside that guy's mind and look around for a hour? That guy sees opportunity at every glance, doesn't he? — Bill Hicks

I wouldn't give Satan a snowball's chance in Hell against a woman's ego. — Bill Hicks

The world's like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it's real, that's how powerful our minds are — Bill Hicks

I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine! Let's go over those numbers again, they're a little baffling at first: Iraq: 150,000, USA: 79. Does that mean we could have won with only 80 guys there? Just one guy in a ticker-tape parade, "I did it! Hey!" — Bill Hicks

I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, "Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest." This guy was reaching. I figure, if he could overcome being nailed to a cross, I don't think a Marlboro Light's gonna faze him that much. — Bill Hicks

I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York... Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye! — Bill Hicks

To me, Texas is Austin, a bunch of cool people trying to make a difference. — Bill Hicks

Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! ... That's the story of Jesus. — Bill Hicks

Humanity is just a virus with shoes. — Bill Hicks

To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake. — Bill Hicks

Life Lessons by Bill Hicks

1. Bill Hicks taught us to be true to ourselves and never compromise our beliefs or values, even in the face of adversity.
2. He encouraged us to be open-minded and challenge the status quo, while also being mindful of the consequences of our actions.
3. He also reminded us to be kind to one another and to appreciate the beauty of life and the world around us.