This is where we are at right now, as a whole. No one is left out of the loop. We are experiencing a reality based on a thin veneer of lies and illusions. A world where greed is our God and wisdom is sin, where division is key and unity is fantasy, where the ego-driven cleverness of the mind is praised, rather than the intelligence of the heart.

— Bill Hicks

The most colorful Bill Hicks quotes that are little-known but priceless

Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love.

The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.

91

Don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.

85

I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.

84

I'm tired of this back-slappin' "isn't humanity neat" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes.

83

I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me.

83

It's not a war on drugs, it's a war on personal freedom.

59

People are bringing shotguns to UFO sightings in Fife, Alabama.

I asked a guy, "Why do you bring a gun to a UFO sighting?" Guy said, "Way-ul, we didn' wanna be ab-duc-ted." If I lived in Fife, Alabama, I would be on my hands and knees every night praying for abduction.

56

I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative.

50

I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, 'My dad can beat up your dad.' I'd say 'Yeah? When?'

48

People tell me, 'Bill, let it go. The Kennedy assassination was years ago. It was just the assassination of a President and the hijacking of our government by a totalitarian regime - who cares? Just let it go.' I say, 'All right then. That whole Jesus thing? Let it go! It was 2,000 years ago! Who cares?'

40

I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution.

38

How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? ...Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?

35

About Bill Hicks

Quotes 239 sayings
Nationality American
Profession Comedian
Birthday October 16

I'm glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going, "My God! I love everything." Yeah, now if that isn't a hazard to our country... How are we gonna justify arms dealing when we realize that we're all one?

34

If you're so pro-life, do me a favour: don't lock arms and block medical clinics. If you're so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.

32

They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life.

What they haven't proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing. I haven't seen the stats on that yet.

32

Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.

31

There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue - those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS - but they remain strangely silent.

30

The waitress comes over to me like, 'What'chu readin' for?' I had never been asked that. Not 'What am I reading?' but 'What am I reading for?' Goddammit, you stumped me. Hmm, why do I read? I suppose I read for a lot of reasons, one of the main ones being so I don't end up being a... waffle waitress.

30

I don't care if you're obscene, filthy, horrendous -- as long as you're honest.

29

Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet.

Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit . . . unnatural?

28

I loved when Bush came out and said, 'We are losing the war against drugs.

' You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it.

24

Eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions god's infinite love.

22

It's an insane world, and I'm proud to be a part of it.

20

I ascribe to Mark Twain's theory that the last person who should be President is the one who wants it the most. The one who should be picked is the one who should be dragged kicking and screaming into the White House.

19

I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious.

18

How do I know the Bible isn't the word of God? Well if it was the word of God it would be clear and easy to understand...considering God was the creator of LANGUAGE!

17

You watch the news these days? It's unbelievable.

You think you just walk out your door, you're immediately gonna be raped by some crack-addicted, AIDS-infected pitbull.

17

It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like it was made by God, rolled by Jesus and moistened shut with Claudia Schiffer's pussy.

17

You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That's like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.

17

Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here's Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid.

15

The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one.

15

Pot is a better drug than alcohol. I'll prove it to you. You're at a ball game or a concert, and someone's really violent and agressive and obnoxious, are they drunk or are they smoking pot?

14

I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action folks! You know he's got God on his side.

14

They believe the bible is the exact word of God - Then they change the bible! Pretty presumptuous, hu huh? "I think what God meant to say..."

14

That's starting to depress me about UFOs.

The fact that they cross galaxies...and always end up in places like Fyfe, Alabama.

13

Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um - they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?

13

I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God.

And I say no, it's not, Dad. Well, I believe that it is. Well, you know, some people believe they're Napoleon. That's fine. Beliefs are neat. Cherish them, but don't share them like they're the truth.

11

It's really weird how your life changes.

Tonight I'm drinking water. Four years ago? Opium. Night and day, you know?

10

I used to drink, I did, I had to quit.

Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I'd get pulled over by the cops, I'd be so drunk I'd be out dancing to their lights thinking I'd made it to another club.

10

The Voice of Reason is in us all...and everyone can recognize it because it makes sense and everyone benefits from it equally.

9

People often ask me where I stand politically.

It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.

9

Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health-nut dude. The plot thickens.

9

I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman.

..come in the guise of a comic...to heal perception by using...'jokes'.

9

Man, the Beatles were so high, they let Ringo sing a coupla tunes. Tell me they weren't partyin'.

9

Courtroom for Ted Bundy's trial is packed with women, trying to meet him and give him love letters and wedding-fucking-proposals...and the first thought that enters my mind is, "And I'm not getting laid." What am I doing wrong?

9

What strikes me as funny about Elvis is that all the impersonators choose to do the Vegas Elvis; not the young, cool guy, always the bloated fool.

9

Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let's put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.

8

"Smoking may cause fetal injury or premature birth.

" ... I found my brand. Just don't get the ones that say, "Lung Cancer."

8

We are losing the 'War on Drugs,' which means there's a war going on and people on drugs are winning it.

8
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