Introduction

What are the best Josh Billings quotes? Josh Billings quotations on life, time, fools, advice, poverty are those, which make this comedian famous. Here you can read the most famous quotes by Josh Billings sorted by user likes.

Best Josh Billings quotes

Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They are a different breed of dogs.

  • Pleasure

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.

  • Exaggeration

Some folks are wise and some otherwise.

  • Wisdom

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his way.

  • Fools



A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

  • Animals

A good place to visit, but a poor place to stay.

  • Travel

Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected.

  • Advice

Pity cost nothing and ain't worth nothing.

  • Sympathy

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.

  • Forgiveness

I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.

  • Age

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.

  • Control

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.

  • Argument

Experience is a school where a man learns what a big fool he has been.

  • Experience

One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can.

  • Quality

In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us.

  • Age

I honestly believe it is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.

  • Knowledge

Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.

  • Power

The trouble with people is not that they dont know but that they know so much that aint so.

  • quotes

It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven.

  • Evil

A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates.

  • Friends

It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient.

  • Identity

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

  • Brevity

If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety.

  • Faith

There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won t.

  • Fools

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.

  • Forgiveness

There's lots of people who spend so much time watching their health, they haven't got time to enjoy it.

  • Health

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit.

  • Fools

To bring up a child in the way he should go -- travel that way yourself.

  • Parenting

If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.

  • Perfection

Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.

  • Time


Josh Billings quotes images

What are the best Josh Billings images quotes?


A dog is the only creature on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

A dog is the only creature on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.


Where is Josh Billings from? Josh Billings is American. A recognized comedian. The following quotations and images represent the American peculiarities embed in Josh Billings's character.

What Josh Billings was famous for? Josh Billings is famous comedian with many good quotes. Wise sayings can be accessed and memorized. Josh Billings is well-known and respected in American society.

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Josh Billings quotes about life

What are the best life quotations by Josh Billings?

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

  • Life

Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.

  • Life

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.

  • Life

There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins.

  • life

The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.

  • life

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Josh Billings quotes about time

What are the best time quotations by Josh Billings?

Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.

  • Time

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.

  • happiness

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.

  • fitness

I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time.

  • carefully

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Josh Billings quotes about fools

What are the best fools quotations by Josh Billings?

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his way.

  • Fools

There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won t.

  • Fools

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit.

  • Fools

There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.

  • change

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Josh Billings quotes about advice

What are the best advice quotations by Josh Billings?

Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected.

  • Advice

Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take.

  • Advice

When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.

  • advice

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take.

  • advice

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Josh Billings quotes about poverty

What are the best poverty quotations by Josh Billings?

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.

  • Poverty

Remember the poor, it costs nothing.

  • Poverty

Poverty is the step-mother of genius.

  • Poverty

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More quotes by Josh Billings

Want some more good quotations by Josh Billings?

Never work before breakfast. If you have to work before breakfast, get your breakfast first.

  • Work

It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.

  • Attitude

Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does.

  • Conscience

Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to.

  • Control



Always live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so.

  • Debt

Never run into debt, not if you can find anything else to run into.

  • Debt

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

  • Life

Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first.

  • Music

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design.

  • Poverty

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.

  • Shame

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.

  • Surprise

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

  • Truth

Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take.

  • Advice

There is a significant Latin proverb; to wit: Who will guard the guards?

  • Caution

Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.

  • Coffee

There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.

  • Experience

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.

  • Flattery

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.

  • Forgiveness

Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.

  • Life

Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got.

  • Men

Remember the poor, it costs nothing.

  • Poverty

I don't care how much a person talks, if they only say it in a few words.

  • Speeches

It ain't so much trouble to get rich as it is to tell when we have got rich.

  • Wealth

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.

  • adversity

Incredulity is the wisdom of the fool.

  • Belief

To enjoy a good reputation give publicly, and steal privately.

  • Charity

Experience increases our wisdom but doesn't reduce our follies.

  • Experience

The trouble with most folks ain't so much their ignorance as knowing so many things that ain't so.

  • Knowledge

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.

  • Love

As a general thing, when the woman wears the pants in the family, she has a good right to them.

  • Marriage

Every man has his follies -- and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.

  • Mistakes

Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.

  • Prejudice

Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.

  • Procrastination

As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.

  • Success

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.

  • Worry

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist -- it reduces him to his fighting weight.

  • Adversity

The happiest time in a man's life is when he is in the red hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.

  • Business

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.

  • Diets

Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.

  • Knowledge

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.

  • Life

Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

  • Persistence

Poverty is the step-mother of genius.

  • Poverty

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affection is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.

  • Pride

Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.

  • Relatives

Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.

  • intelligence

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

  • love

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

  • marriage

There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins.

  • life

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.

  • postage

The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

  • expense

I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am the most certain of the first time.

  • Certainty

When a man gets talking about himself, he seldom fails to be eloquent and often reaches the sublime.

  • Conversation

A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.

  • Happiness

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it as the old woman did her lost spectacles. Safe on her own nose all the time.

  • Happiness

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.

  • Honesty

The more humble a man is before God the more he will be exalted; the more humble he is before man, the more he will get rode roughshod.

  • Humility

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord it ain't the gout.

  • Medicine

I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money.

  • Money

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.

  • Plagiarism

Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it.

  • Prophecy

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

  • Youth

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.

  • funny

When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.

  • advice

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.

  • happiness

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.

  • fitness

The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so much that ain't so.

  • people

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.

  • feeling

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.

  • funny

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.

  • bring

Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe.

  • wisdom

Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return.

  • dollars

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout.

  • best

Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words.

  • hunting

I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time.

  • carefully

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take.

  • advice

Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.

  • confess

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.

  • best

There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.

  • change

The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.

  • life

Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since.

  • angels

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.

  • affectation

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

  • animals

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Comedians similar to Josh Billings

Which comedian has the best quotes? Top quotes from famous comedians like the following.


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Josh Billings favorite topics

Josh Billings is famous for his passion for life, time, fools, advice, poverty. Check out great quotations and affirmations.


Conclusion

That were all of the 112 Josh Billings quotes. Maybe some questions are in your head.

How to save Josh Billings quotations? Every single one can be saved to your Bookmarks for further reference. We rank the quotes by the number of bookmarks each one has. By bookmarking a quotation you increase its position in Quotlr rankings. Some of the top quotes are sent as affirmations in our daily quote iPhone app.

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When Josh Billings was born? Josh Billings was born on April 21, 1818.

Who is Josh Billings? Josh Billings biography. Josh Billings was the pen name of humorist born Henry Wheeler Shaw. He was perhaps the second most famous humor writer and lecturer in the United States in the second half of the 19th century after Mark Twain, although his reputation has not fared so well with later generations.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Part 1
Introduction

Part 2
Best Josh Billings quotes
Top 10 quotes by Josh Billings

Part 3
Josh Billings quotes images

Part 4
Life
Time
Fools
Advice
Poverty
All quotes

Part 5
Similar Comedians

Part 6
Favorite topics

Part 7
Conclusion

Quote
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