110+ Josh Billings Quotes On Education, Being And Funny

quote by
Josh Billings inspirational quote

Top 10 Josh Billings Quotes (BEST)

  1. Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.
  2. A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
  3. Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They are a different breed of dogs.
  4. Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.
  5. The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.
  6. The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
  7. Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.
  8. There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
  9. Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
  10. Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

Josh Billings Image Quotes

Go to table of contents

quote by Josh Billings

Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They are a different breed of dogs. — Josh Billings

 quote A dog is the only creature on earth that loves you more than
A dog is the only creature on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
quote by Josh Billings

Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. — Josh Billings

quote by Josh Billings

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope. — Josh Billings

quote by Josh Billings

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. — Josh Billings

Josh Billings Short Quotes

Go to table of contents

  • The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his way.
  • Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.
  • The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.
  • As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
  • Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.
  • A good place to visit, but a poor place to stay.
  • The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout.
  • Remember the poor, it costs nothing.
  • Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.
  • As a general thing, an individual who is neat in his person is neat in his morals.

Josh Billings Quotes On Life

Go to table of contents

Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough. — Josh Billings

There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins. — Josh Billings

The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large. — Josh Billings

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. — Josh Billings

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb. — Josh Billings

My advice to those who are about to begin, in earnest, the journey of life, is to take their heart in one hand and a club in the other. — Josh Billings

Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined. — Josh Billings

Experience is a grindstone; and it is lucky for us, if we can get brightened by it, and not ground. — Josh Billings

The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm. — Josh Billings

As the flint contains the spark, unknown to itself, which the steel alone can awaken to life, so adversity often reveals to us hidden gems, which prosperity or negligence would forever have hidden. — Josh Billings

Josh Billings Quotes On Love

Go to table of contents

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. — Josh Billings

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do. — Josh Billings

Adam invented love at first sight, one of the greatest labor-saving machines the world ever saw. — Josh Billings

Friendship is like earthenware, once broken, it can be mended; love is like a mirror, once broken that ends it. — Josh Billings

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. — Josh Billings

Jealousy is one of love's parasites. — Josh Billings

It ain't because lovers are so sensitive that they quarrel so often; it is because there is so much fun n the making up. — Josh Billings

Love is like the measles; we can't have it bad but once, and the later in life we have it the tougher it goes with us. — Josh Billings

Josh Billings Quotes On Funny

Go to table of contents

Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland. — Josh Billings

When a young man begins to go down hill everything seems to be greased for the occasion. — Josh Billings

I've never known an auctioneer to lie unless it was absolutely necessary. — Josh Billings

Josh Billings Quotes On People

Go to table of contents

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying. — Josh Billings

Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected. — Josh Billings

There are only two qualities in the world: efficiency and inefficiency; and only two sorts of people: the efficient and the inefficient. — Josh Billings

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it. — Josh Billings

The trouble with people is not that they dont know but that they know so much that aint so. — Josh Billings

There's lots of people who spend so much time watching their health, they haven't got time to enjoy it. — Josh Billings

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. — Josh Billings

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors. — Josh Billings

When good-natured people leave us we look forward with extra pleasure to their return. — Josh Billings

Selfish people, with no heart to speak of, have the best time of it. — Josh Billings

Josh Billings Quotes On World

Go to table of contents

If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself. — Josh Billings

Take the selfishness out of this world and there would be more happiness than we should know what to do with. — Josh Billings

In the whole history of the world there is but one thing that money cannot buy...to wit--the wag of a dog's tail. — Josh Billings

If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety. — Josh Billings

Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn't be any fun living in it, or profit. — Josh Billings

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread. — Josh Billings

Contentment is a kind of moral laziness; if there wasn't anything but contentment in his world, man wouldn't be any more of a success than an angleworm is — Josh Billings

Take the humbug out of this world, and you haven't much left to do business with. — Josh Billings

I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am the most certain of the first time. — Josh Billings

The fools in this world make about as much trouble as the wicked do. — Josh Billings

Josh Billings Quotes On Wisdom

Go to table of contents

Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe. — Josh Billings

Some folks are wise and some otherwise. — Josh Billings

Incredulity is the wisdom of the fool. — Josh Billings

Wisdom deprives even poverty of half its power. — Josh Billings

True wisdom is plenty of experience, observation, and reflection. False wisdom is plenty of ignorance, arrogance, and impudence. — Josh Billings

There is gravity in wisdom, but no particular wisdom in gravity. — Josh Billings

Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has. — Josh Billings

Experience increases our wisdom but doesn't reduce our follies. — Josh Billings

A man cannot learn to be wise any more than he can learn to be handsome. — Josh Billings

Wisdom that don't make us happier ain't worth plowing for. — Josh Billings

Josh Billings Quotes On Trouble

Go to table of contents

I don't never have any trouble in regulating my own conduct, but to keep other folks' straight is what bothers me. — Josh Billings

It ain't so much trouble to get rich as it is to tell when we have got rich. — Josh Billings

The trouble with most folks ain't so much their ignorance as knowing so many things that ain't so. — Josh Billings

The trouble with people is not that they don't know but that they know so much that ain't so. — Josh Billings

There's one good thing about tight shoes; they make you forget your other troubles. — Josh Billings

It is not much trouble to doctor sick folks, but to doctor healthy ones is troublesome. — Josh Billings

It AIN'T so much the things we don't know that get us into trouble. It's the things we know that just ain't so. — Josh Billings

I never knew a man troubled with melancholy, who had plenty to do, and did it. — Josh Billings

Josh Billings Famous Quotes And Sayings

Go to table of contents

quote by Josh Billings

Don't mistake pleasure for happiness. They are a different breed of dogs. — Josh Billings

quote by Josh Billings

Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. — Josh Billings

quote by Josh Billings

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope. — Josh Billings

quote by Josh Billings

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. — Josh Billings

There is a sort of charm in ugliness, if the person has some redeeming qualities and is only ugly enough. — Josh Billings

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time. — Josh Billings

A slander is like a hornet; if you cannot kill it dead at the first blow, better not to strike at it. — Josh Billings

I hate to be a kicker, I always long for peace, But the wheel that does the squeaking, is the one that gets the grease. — Josh Billings

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess. — Josh Billings

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal. — Josh Billings

Economy is a savings-bank, into which men drop pennies, and get dollars in return. — Josh Billings

Pity cost nothing and ain't worth nothing. — Josh Billings

I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else. — Josh Billings

If you would make yourself agreeable wherever you go, listen to the grievances of others but never relate your own. — Josh Billings

Experience is a school where a man learns what a big fool he has been. — Josh Billings

Wise men have but few confidants, and cunning ones none. — Josh Billings

It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven. — Josh Billings

Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something. — Josh Billings

It's a wise man who profits by his own experience, but it's a good deal wiser one who lets the rattlesnake bite the other fellow. — Josh Billings

There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply. — Josh Billings

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment. — Josh Billings

Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done. — Josh Billings

A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug. — Josh Billings

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing. — Josh Billings

A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates. — Josh Billings

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. — Josh Billings

I honestly believe it is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so. — Josh Billings

It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient. — Josh Billings

Every man has his follies -- and often they are the most interesting thing he has got. — Josh Billings

One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can. — Josh Billings

There is a significant Latin proverb; to wit: Who will guard the guards? — Josh Billings

I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design. — Josh Billings

Keep a cow, and then the milk won't have to be watered but once. — Josh Billings

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit. — Josh Billings

The man who ain't got an enemy is really poor. — Josh Billings

There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won t. — Josh Billings

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got. — Josh Billings

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight. — Josh Billings

As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for. — Josh Billings

In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us. — Josh Billings

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together. — Josh Billings

I would much rather always look forward to the time when I am going to ride in a carriage, than to look back on the time when I used to. — Josh Billings

Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at. — Josh Billings

The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it. — Josh Billings

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. — Josh Billings

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite — Josh Billings

Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today. — Josh Billings

Never work before breakfast. If you have to work before breakfast, get your breakfast first. — Josh Billings

Politeness is better than logic. You can often persuade when you cannot convince. — Josh Billings

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place. — Josh Billings

It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us; we can dodge a elephant, but we can't dodge a fly. — Josh Billings

A witty writer is like a porcupine; his quill makes no distinction between friend and foe. — Josh Billings

When a man gets talking about himself, he seldom fails to be eloquent and often reaches the sublime. — Josh Billings

Habits are like the wrinkles on a man's brow; if you will smooth out the one, I will smooth out the other. — Josh Billings

Always live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so. — Josh Billings

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affection is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs. — Josh Billings

To bring up a child in the way he should go -- travel that way yourself. — Josh Billings

The dog that will follow everbody ain't worth a curse. — Josh Billings

Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does. — Josh Billings

Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to. — Josh Billings

When the truth is in your way, you are on the wrong road. — Josh Billings

Poverty is the step-mother of genius. — Josh Billings

When I see a man of shallow understanding extravagantly clothed, I feel sorry - for the clothes. — Josh Billings

Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first. — Josh Billings

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs. — Josh Billings

Better make a weak man your enemy than your friend. — Josh Billings

Life Lessons by Josh Billings

Go to table of contents

  1. Josh Billings taught that life is too short to take too seriously, and that we should strive to find humor in the everyday.
  2. He also taught that it is important to have a positive attitude and to keep a sense of perspective in the face of adversity.
  3. Finally, he encouraged people to be kind to one another, and to never forget the importance of friendship and connection.

In Conclusion

Which quote resonated with you best? Did you enjoy our collection of Josh Billings quotes? Or may be you have a quotation about Josh Billings to suggest. Let us know using our contact form.

About the author

This collection is managed by , with an extensive background in quote curation. They have meticulously gathered, researched, and compiled the quotes featured on this page. Every quote has been diligently cross-verified for its origin, its authenticity, and its potential influence on our readership.

Citation

Feel free to cite and use any of the quotes by Josh Billings. For popular citation styles (APA, Chicago, MLA), go to citation page.

Embed HTML Link

Copy and paste this HTML code in your webpage