What are the best George Burns quotes?

Accurate and famous quotes by George Burns about made, fake, acting, life, cigar. George Burns is well-known American comedian with many wise quotes. You can read the best of all time and enjoy Top 10 lists. Share the best George Burns sayings with your friends and family.

  1. I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

  2. I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.

  3. Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

  4. You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

  5. Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

  6. Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.

  7. By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.

    • age

  8. When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

  9. Be quick to learn and wise to know.

  10. Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

  11. It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

    • age

  12. Life's but a day at most.

    • life

  13. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

  14. How can I die? I'm booked.

    • age

  15. I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.

  16. Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!

    • sex

  17. If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.

  18. If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.

    • age

  19. Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

  20. If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.

  21. At my age flowers scare me.

    • age

  22. Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

  23. I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.

    • age

  24. I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.

    • age

  25. Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.

  26. Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

  27. You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

  28. I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

  29. You know you're getting old when you stop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

    • age

  30. I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.

  31. First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

    • down

  32. Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

    • age

  33. I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

  34. Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

  35. I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the last one left.

  36. It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

  37. You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made.

  38. It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

  39. I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

    • age

  40. The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

    • acting

  41. Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

    • age

  42. The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

  43. I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

    • age

  44. Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.

    • bad

  45. This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.

    • bad

Top 10 quotes by George Burns

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George Burns image quotes

What are the best George Burns images quotes? Read and bookmark finest sayings from George Burns, embed as quotes on beautiful images. Those images have made quotes, fake quotes, acting quotes, life quotes, cigar quotes.

That are top sayings from George Burns as picture quotes. Access more quotations by George Burns with images on Pinterest.

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About George Burns

Where is George Burns from? George Burns is American who said awesome wise words. Well-known and respected in American society for wise sayings. The following quotations and images represent the American nature embed in George Burns's character.

What George Burns was famous for? George Burns is famous comedian with many good quotes. Influential and well recognized comedian all over the world. Browse a lot of George Burns books and reference books with quotes from George Burns on Amazon.

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Comedians similar to George Burns

Which comedian has the best quotes? Top quotes from famous comedians like the following.

George Burns favorite topics

George Burns is famous for his passion about made, fake, acting, life, cigar. Check out great quotations and affirmations on these topics.


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When was George Burns birthday? George Burns was born on October 16.

Who is George Burns? Some facts about George Burns from biography. George Burns, born Nathan Birnbaum, was an American comedian, actor, and writer.His career spanned vaudeville, film, radio, and television, with and without his wife, Gracie Allen. His arched eyebrow and cigar smoke punctuation became familiar trademarks for over three quarters of a century. He enjo... Read more about George Burns on Wikipedia or watch videos with quotes from George Burns on YouTube. Browse a lot of books about George Burns on Amazon to get more reference.


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