Quotes by Irish Comedian Spike Milligan

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy. Spike Milligan

I'm a hero with coward's legs. Spike Milligan

Contraceptives should be used on all conceivable occasions. Spike Milligan

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion. Spike Milligan

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. Spike Milligan
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. Spike Milligan
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And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. Spike Milligan
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How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven. Spike Milligan
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I can speak Esperanto like a native. Spike Milligan
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I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge. Spike Milligan

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it. Spike Milligan
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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke. Spike Milligan
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It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't. Spike Milligan

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine. Spike Milligan
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My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic. Spike Milligan
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Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs? Spike Milligan
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Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order. Spike Milligan

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