54+ Graham Chapman Quotes On Death, Marriage And Funny

Graham Chapman was a British comedian, writer, actor, and one of the six members of the Monty Python comedy troupe. He was known for his roles in Monty Python's Flying Circus and the films Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Life of Brian, and The Meaning of Life. Chapman was also an author, with his memoir A Liar's Autobiography being published posthumously. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Graham Chapman on death, life, marriage.

Top 10 Graham Chapman Quotes

1. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
2. I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
3. Kilimanjaro is a pretty tricky climb you know, most of it's up until you reach the very very top, and then it tends to slope away rather sharply.
4. You know, there are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane. Some of them were born sane. Some of them became sane later in their lives.
5. I'm having Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam, Spam and Spam!
6. Always look on the bright side of life.
7. We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!
8. Stormy in love, stormy in interviews, breakfast in bed - that's me, love.
9. You see, I don't belive that libraries should be drab places where people sit in silence, that has been the main reason for our policy of employing wild animals as librarians.
10. Oh Lord please don't burn us don't kill or toast your flock. Don't put us on the barbecue or simmer us in stock. Don't bake or baste or boil us or stir-fry us in a wok.

Graham Chapman Short Quotes

• My philosophy, like color television, is all there in black and white.
• I fart in your general direction.
• When Beethoven went deaf, the mynah bird just used to mime.
• Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government.
• Exploding is a perfectly normal medical phenomenon.
• Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
• It's nice to see that look of alarm on the faces of the others.
• I hope I will have achieved something lasting.
• When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.
• I can't talk to a man who bears an undeserved animosity towards ferrets.

Graham Chapman Quotes About People

Death can really absorb a person. Lik most people, I would find it pleasant not to have to go, but you just accept that it's more or less inevitable. — Graham Chapman

World War II... did not happen to everyone, but it happened to most. There were people from Germany who were throwing bombs at us. — Graham Chapman

Health care does not worry me a great deal. I've been impressed by some wonderful old people. — Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Quotes About Person

I'm afraid I'm not personally qualified to confuse cats, but I can recommend an extremely good service. — Graham Chapman

John Howard Davies was not a very human person ... if you made a mistake of any kind, any sort of pause in speech, he would treat you rather as if he was a schoolmaster. — Graham Chapman

All ideas come about through some sort of observation. It sparks an attitude; some object or emotion causes a reaction in the other person. — Graham Chapman

An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a definite proposition... A contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says." No, it's not. — Graham Chapman

Graham Chapman Famous Quotes And Sayings

Nudge, nudge. Snap, snap. Grin, grin. Wink, wink, say no more? Could be, could be taken on holiday. Could be yes - swimming costumes. Know what I mean. Candid photography. Know what I mean, nudge nudge. — Graham Chapman

This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot. — Graham Chapman

I think that all good, right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are fed up with being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are fed up with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not, and I'm sick and tired of being told that I am. — Graham Chapman

When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out for the best... And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life. — Graham Chapman

McGough: I'm sorry. I'm afraid I've caught poetry. Mr Bones: Oh really? Well, don't worry, sir - I used to suffer from short stories. McGough: Really? When? Mr Bones: Oh, once upon a time... — Graham Chapman

We found that we didn't have much problem with him [J.C.], it was his followers we found questionable. — Graham Chapman

Oh, you're in television! That's interesting. No, I mean, the word television is interesting. It's a hybrid, you see: tele- comes from the greek, and -vision comes from the latin. It should have been either "telerama", or "procolvision". — Graham Chapman

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise, fear and surprise; two chief weapons, fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency! Er, among our chief weapons are: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and near fanatical devotion to the Pope! Um, I'll come in again. — Graham Chapman

Sir Beldevere: What makes you think she's a witch? Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt! Sir Beldevere: A newt? Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better. Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway! — Graham Chapman

I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away! — Graham Chapman

There is no cannibalism in the British navy, absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount. — Graham Chapman

We don't deliberately set out to offend. Unless we feel it's justified. — Graham Chapman

In 1945, peace broke out. It was the end of the Joke. Joke warfare was banned at a special session of the Geneva Convention, and in 1950 the last remaining copy of the joke was laid to rest here in the Berkshire countryside, never to be told again. — Graham Chapman

We come from nothing, we are going back to nothing-In the end what have we lost? Nothing! — Graham Chapman

I am known by many names, but you may call me...Tim. — Graham Chapman

One thing for sure - a sheep is not a creature of the air. — Graham Chapman

Tis but a scratch!" "A scratch? Your arm's off!" "No it isn't." "Then what's that?" "Oh come on, pansy! — Graham Chapman

WHAT is your name? WHAT is your quest? and WHAT is your favorite color? — Graham Chapman

You know, Python should have won a Grammy for our musical work on the show. — Graham Chapman

One, two, ... five!" "Three, my lord. — Graham Chapman

Dressing up as decrepit old ladies, and even decrepit young ladies, was one of our staples. — Graham Chapman

She turned me into a newt. ... But I got better. — Graham Chapman

A murderer is only an extroverted suicide. — Graham Chapman

Camelot is a silly place. — Graham Chapman

First you must find... another shrubbery! Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here, beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher so you get a two layer effect with a little path running down the middle. ("A path! A path!") Then, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forrest... with... a herring! — Graham Chapman

Bring out... The Comfy Chair!!!! — Graham Chapman

At that time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer, and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before. — Graham Chapman

Life Lessons by Graham Chapman

1. Graham Chapman taught us the importance of pushing boundaries and taking risks in comedy, as he was one of the founding members of Monty Python and was known for his wacky and unconventional style of humor.
2. He also showed us that it's ok to be silly and have fun with comedy, as he was known for his physical humor and often played the fool in his sketches.
3. Lastly, Graham Chapman demonstrated the power of collaboration, as he was part of a tight-knit group of comedians who worked together to create some of the most iconic sketches in comedy history.