Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

— Matt Groening

The most cheerful Matt Groening quotes that will be huge advantage for your personal development

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.


Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.


America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!


Public transportation is for jerks and lesbians.


Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.


You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.


I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family.

Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.


You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.' Homer Simpson


A woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!


Weaseling out of things is important to learn.

It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.


English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England.


When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces.

..I just know they're about to jab me with something.


About Matt Groening

Quotes 117 sayings
Nationality American
Profession Cartoonist
Birthday October 16

You know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women.

You just have to read the manual and press the right button.


First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.


Homer no function beer well without.


Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.


I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.


I plead alignment to the flakes of the untitled snakes of a merry cow and to the republicrats for which they scam: one nacho, underpants with licorice and jugs of wine for owls.


I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming.


Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.


When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV!


No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you.


I pledge impertinence to the flag waving, of the unindicted co-conspirators of America, and to the republicans for which I can't stand, one abomination, underhanded fraud, indefensible, with Liberty and Justice.. Forget it.


Actually, I've been working on a plan.

During the exam, I'll hide under some coats, and hope that somehow everything will work out.


When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.


It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.


My standard comment is, If you don't want your kids to be like Bart Simpson, don't act like Homer Simpson.


You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on." Homer Simpson


This doesn't happen in America! Maybe Ohio, but not in America!" Homer Simpson


How can I be expected to love someone who tries such crude manipulations as bringing me breakfast in bed?


Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.


Lisa: 'Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?' Homer: 'Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.'


Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of. It's nothing to be particularly proud of, either.


How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?


I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer Simpson


I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.


Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it?


But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.


I'm presently incarcerated. Convicted of a crime I didn't even commit. Hah! "Attempted murder"? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?


I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.


The French are funny, sex is funny, and comedies are funny, yet no French sex comedies are funny.


I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!


For some reason, a lot of Hollywood big shots are curious to see how they'd be drawn with bulging eyes and no chin.


I think people who work in comedy and humor are hesitant to analyze it too much, because you feel like if you take it apart, you'll break it and not be able to put it back together again.


A woman knows all about her children.

She knows about dentist appointments, soccer games, romances, best friends, location of friend's houses, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


Fans think they want to see more than the 10 to 20 seconds of Itchy and Scratchy that we put on the show, but my feeling is less is more. Once you've skinned and flayed a cat, ripped his head off, made him drink acid and tied his tongue to the moon, there really isn't that much to say.


I didn't lie, I was writing fiction with my mouth.


Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known... then went crazy as a loon." Lisa Simpson


I've been deadline-driven for my whole grown-up life, and that hasn't gone away.

It is nice to be able to reflect about the big picture, about what kind of stories you want to tell, and how to take advantage of success.

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