110+ Matt Groening Quotes On Education, Politics And Time

Matt Groening is an American cartoonist, screenwriter, producer, animator, author, and voice actor. He is best known for creating the famous cartoon series The Simpsons and Futurama. He has also written several books including Life in Hell and the Akbar and Jeff comic strip. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Matt Groening on life, education, politics.

Top 10 Matt Groening Quotes

1. Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.
2. Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.
3. Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.
4. America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!
5. Public transportation is for jerks and lesbians.
6. Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
7. I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
8. You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.
9. You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.' Homer Simpson
10. A woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!

Matt Groening Short Quotes

• English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England.
• No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you.
• Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of. It's nothing to be particularly proud of, either.
• Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
• I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman. Homer Simpson
• But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.
• I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!
• The French are funny, sex is funny, and comedies are funny, yet no French sex comedies are funny.
• I didn't lie, I was writing fiction with my mouth.
• Ned, have you considered any of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same.

Matt Groening Quotes About Life

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. They're on TV! — Matt Groening

Lisa: 'Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?' Homer: 'Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.' — Matt Groening

Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it? — Matt Groening

I've been deadline-driven for my whole grown-up life, and that hasn't gone away. It is nice to be able to reflect about the big picture, about what kind of stories you want to tell, and how to take advantage of success. — Matt Groening

Keep your expectations tiny you'll go through life not so whiney. — Matt Groening

A lot of people believe that if everybody just did what they were told - obeyed - everything would be fine. But that's not what life is all about. That's not real. It's never going to happen. — Matt Groening

Today is the first day of the rest of your short, brutish existence as a sentient creature before being snuffed out into utter nothingness for all eternity. — Matt Groening

My life changed when I was able to not only get seated in nice restaurants, I was given free appetizers. That was like, "Oh, my God, I've arrived". — Matt Groening

Matt Groening Quotes About Time

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? — Matt Groening

It's just hard not to listen to TV: it's spent so much more time raising us than parents have. — Matt Groening

The amazing thing about Freak Out! was that there was nothing quite like it in rock 'n roll at the time. It was really simultaneously crude and ugly, and incredibly sophisticated. The Beatles were funny, but there was nothing with the kind of sneer that you could feel in the music of Frank Zappa. — Matt Groening

Matt Groening Quotes About Future

I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now. — Matt Groening

With 'Futurama,' I was just worried that somebody would beat us to it; it seemed so obvious that there should be an animated science fiction show set in the future. And one of the reasons why it's not, I learned, is that it's really, really difficult. — Matt Groening

You've got to embrace the future. You can whine about it, but you've got to embrace it. — Matt Groening

Matt Groening Quotes About Love

Homer no function beer well without. — Matt Groening

Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun. — Matt Groening

I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming. — Matt Groening

How can I be expected to love someone who tries such crude manipulations as bringing me breakfast in bed? — Matt Groening

I love the idea that we put in jokes the kids don't get. And that later, when they grow up and read a few books and go to college and watch the show again, they can get it on a completely different level. — Matt Groening

If people only knew how much I secretly hated them, they'd love me for holding it in. — Matt Groening

Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless. — Matt Groening

Matt Groening Quotes About Simpsons

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel. — Matt Groening

When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces...I just know they're about to jab me with something. — Matt Groening

First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women. — Matt Groening

You know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button. — Matt Groening

I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich. — Matt Groening

Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. — Matt Groening

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day. — Matt Groening

My standard comment is, If you don't want your kids to be like Bart Simpson, don't act like Homer Simpson. — Matt Groening

You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on." Homer Simpson — Matt Groening

This doesn't happen in America! Maybe Ohio, but not in America!" Homer Simpson — Matt Groening

Matt Groening Quotes About Humorous

I think people who work in comedy and humor are hesitant to analyze it too much, because you feel like if you take it apart, you'll break it and not be able to put it back together again. — Matt Groening

Anxiety and hostility seem to be a great part of good and bad humor. Examining humor too closely does seem to destroy it. — Matt Groening

Humor does depend on surprise, and the things that people remember as the funniest things in the world, you look at later and you go, "What? What was that all about?" — Matt Groening

One of the great things about the Internet is that you can read what everybody has to say about everything. It is fascinating to me, the critiques about humor by people who have no sense of humor. — Matt Groening

Matt Groening Quotes About Learned

When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities. — Matt Groening

When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities. — Matt Groening

When will people learn? Democracy doesn't work!" (Homer Simpson) — Matt Groening

Matt Groening Famous Quotes And Sayings

I plead alignment to the flakes of the untitled snakes of a merry cow and to the republicrats for which they scam: one nacho, underpants with licorice and jugs of wine for owls. — Matt Groening

Actually, I've been working on a plan. During the exam, I'll hide under some coats, and hope that somehow everything will work out. — Matt Groening

I pledge impertinence to the flag waving, of the unindicted co-conspirators of America, and to the republicans for which I can't stand, one abomination, underhanded fraud, indefensible, with Liberty and Justice.. Forget it. — Matt Groening

I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff. — Matt Groening

I'm presently incarcerated. Convicted of a crime I didn't even commit. Hah! "Attempted murder"? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they? — Matt Groening

For some reason, a lot of Hollywood big shots are curious to see how they'd be drawn with bulging eyes and no chin. — Matt Groening

A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, soccer games, romances, best friends, location of friend's houses, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. — Matt Groening

Fans think they want to see more than the 10 to 20 seconds of Itchy and Scratchy that we put on the show, but my feeling is less is more. Once you've skinned and flayed a cat, ripped his head off, made him drink acid and tied his tongue to the moon, there really isn't that much to say. — Matt Groening

Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known... then went crazy as a loon." Lisa Simpson — Matt Groening

Being a good embalmer is a thankless job. — Matt Groening

You know, I've been thinking. Everyone makes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches but usually the jelly drips out all over the side and the guy's hands get all sticky. But your jelly stays right in the middle where it's supposed to. I don't know how you do it? You just got a gift, I guess. I've always thought so. I've just never mentioned it. But it's time you knew how I feel. I don't believe in keeping feelings bottled up. Goodbye, my wife. — Matt Groening

I think in daily newspapers, the way comic strips are treated, it's as if newspaper publishers are going out of their way to kill the medium. They're printing the comics so small that most strips are just talking heads, and if you look back at the glory days of comic strips, you can see that they were showcases for some of the best pop art ever to come out. — Matt Groening

Think beer; drink beer. — Matt Groening

Buy Space Ghost cereal, but don't eat the prizes. — Matt Groening

Let's face it, all the good stuff happens after midnight. — Matt Groening

When you're as important as I am, getting your feelings hurt by me is almost an honor. — Matt Groening

I'm not going to stop torturing myself till I figure out the cause of my pain. — Matt Groening

I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me. — Matt Groening

You know, the courts may not be working any more, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else, justice will be done. — Matt Groening

You just have to keep in mind that the important relationship is the relationship with the audience. That's what I try to do. Everything else is secondary. — Matt Groening

I have to say that The Simpsons comes from a huge number of great writers headed by Al Jean, the show-runner, and the work that they do is really fantastic. It's a blast just to sit around with them in the writers' room and listen to all the filthy jokes that will never get on the air. — Matt Groening

Eat my shorts! — Matt Groening

Don't have a cow, man. — Matt Groening

Of course I’ve gone mad with power! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It’s boring and no one listens to you! — Russ Cargill — Matt Groening

Me fail English? That's unpossible. — Matt Groening

If something is too hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV. — Matt Groening

A lot of American shows don't last for as long as 12 episodes. They get cut after one. But certainly one of the great things about The Office in particular was that there was a beginning, a middle and an end. — Matt Groening

When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all. — Matt Groening

I think human beings probably resonate with audiences more than bunnies, but who knows? — Matt Groening

I personally like the idea of newspapers. It's a good format. You can read it in whatever order you want. You can glance at it. There is something about a single screen and scrolling through pages that just doesn't have the same appeal. — Matt Groening

I'm a fan of animation and so, the more stuff that doesn't look like the other stuff that's out there, I'm in favor. — Matt Groening

NEVER! Never, Marge! I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles! Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called 'City Fathers' who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?! — Matt Groening

I don't mind sharing the blame if she'll just admit she started it. — Matt Groening

If at first you don't succeed - give it up. It isn't worth the pain. — Matt Groening

I would prefer to listen to a French classical composer like Olivier Messiaen than to the pop hits of the day. — Matt Groening

I'd be vegetarian if bacon grew on trees — Matt Groening

If God didn't want us to eat cows, why are they made out of meat? — Matt Groening

When DVDs finally disappear, I'm going to be sad. I'll miss the commentaries. — Matt Groening

Everybody is clever, just in their own ways — Matt Groening

You toyed with my heart, like it was a toy heart. (Lisa Simpson) — Matt Groening

American culture has a lot of great moustaches in its history. Mark Twain had a great moustache, Charlie Chaplin, Ben Turpin ... but Zappa, he's got the best moustache in American history. Got the moustache, right, and he's got that little thing on his chin, I think it's called an imperial, that is, like, the coolest thing. That's like one of the great icons of the twentieth century. — Matt Groening

I was very disturbed when Jesus found a demon in a guy, and he put the demon in a herd of pigs, then sent them off a cliff. What did the pigs do? I could never figure that out. It just seemed very un-Christian. Technically, I'm an agnostic, but I definitely believe in hell -- especially after watching the fall TV schedule. — Matt Groening

I'm a level 5 vegan, I don't eat anything that casts a shadow. — Matt Groening

Did you hear something?" "No." "Did I hear something?" "...I don't know. — Matt Groening

The entire world of grown-ups is corrupt and stupid. — Matt Groening

Science fiction and comedy are generally a pretty bumpy mix. — Matt Groening

Welcome to Suckersville, man. — Matt Groening

I promise I'll do anything for you, especialy if it's easy. Homer Simpson — Matt Groening

One of the things I would like to do is make up stories that I would have enjoyed when I was a kid. So, if I'm thinking about an audience, it's usually a younger version of myself. — Matt Groening

The world ends when I die. And as far as I'm concerned, the rest of the universe might as well call it a day too. — Matt Groening

The tendency in comedy is to have a character who's stupid get more stupid, because you're trying to top yourself and not just repeat. — Matt Groening

The next time you are contemplating a decision in which you are debating whether or not to go for the gusto, ask yourself this important question: "How long am I going to be dead?" With that perspective, you can now make a free, fearless choice to do just about any goddamned sneaky thing your devious little mind can think up. Go ahead. Have your fun. You're welcome. Go on. See you in hell. — Matt Groening

Part of the fun of being alive is knowing that you're annoying the hell out of someone else. — Matt Groening

Life Lessons by Matt Groening

1. Matt Groening teaches us to never give up on our dreams, no matter how difficult the journey may be. He persevered through years of rejection and failure before finally achieving success with The Simpsons.
2. He also encourages us to be creative and take risks, as he was willing to take a chance on an unconventional idea and make it into a beloved classic.
3. Finally, Matt Groening reminds us to stay true to ourselves, as he has never compromised his artistic vision to please others.