The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

— Bill Watterson

The most practical Bill Watterson quotes that are glad to read

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.


Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.


What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?


We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.


The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.


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Quotes about Humor

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.


There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.


I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?


Selling out is usually more a matter of buying in.

Sell out, and you’re really buying into someone else’s system of values, rules and rewards.


County library? Reference desk, please.

Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that's the problem. I don't know how to spell it and I'm not allowed to say it. Could you just rattle off all the swear words you know and I'll stop you when...Hello?


I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.


Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?


About Bill Watterson

Quotes 333 sayings
Nationality American
Profession Cartoonist
Birthday October 16

I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!


Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.


You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet.

You have to be in the right mood. What mood is that? Last-minute panic.


If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.


Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!


It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.


They say the secret of success is being at the right place at the right time, but since you never know when the right time is going to be, I figure the trick is to find the right place and just hang around.


You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.


Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?


I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long.

If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.


Calvin: Know what I pray for? Hobbes: What? Calvin: The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference.


I wish people were more like animals.

Animals don't try to change you or make you fit in. They just enjoy the pleasure of your company. Animals aren't conditional about friendships. Animals like you just the way you are. They listen to your problems, they comfort you when you're sad, and all they ask in return is a little kindness.


The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!


It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.


What's the point of wearing your favorite rocket ship underpants if nobody ever asks to see 'em?


I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.


Hobbes: What are you doing? Calvin: Being "cool.

" Hobbes: You look more like you're being bored. Calvin: The world bores you when you're cool. Hobbes: Look, I brought a sombrero! Now we can both be "cool." Calvin: A sombrero?! Are you crazy?! Cool people don't wear sombreros! Hobbes: What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?


You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure.


Calvin: The more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action.

Once you are informed, you start seeing complexities and shades of gray. You realize nothing is as clear as it first appears. Ultimately, knowledge is paralyzing. Being a man of action, I cannot afford to take that risk. Hobbes: You're ignorant, but at least you act on it.


Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.


If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?


Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.


Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!


If people looked at the stars each night, they'd live a lot differently.

When you look into infinity, you realize that there are more important things than what people do all day.


A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.


Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.


A box of new crayons! Now they’re all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they’ll be a bunch of ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic.


I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life.

..procrastinating and rationalizing.


Calvin: They say the world is a stage.

But obviously the play is unrehearsed and everybody is ad-libbing his lines. Hobbes: Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce. Calvin: We need more special effects and dance numbers.


Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems.


It's a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it's light out.


You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!


We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.


The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.


It's surprising how hard we'll work when the work is done just for ourselves.


They can't chain my spirit! My spirit runs free! Walls can't contain it! Laws can't restrain it! Authority has no power over it!


I've been interested in cartooning all my life.

I read the comics as a kid, and I did cartoons for high school publications - the newspaper and yearbook and soon. In college, I got interested in political cartooning and did political cartoons.