104+ Jeremy Clarkson Quotes On Electric Cars, Cars And Genius

Jeremy Clarkson is a British broadcaster, journalist, and writer. He is best known for hosting the BBC motoring show Top Gear from 2002 to 2015, and for co-hosting the Amazon Prime motoring show The Grand Tour with Richard Hammond and James May. Clarkson is also known for his outspoken views and his controversial opinions, which have often caused controversy. Following is our collection on famous quotes by Jeremy Clarkson on life, electric cars, cars.

Top 10 Jeremy Clarkson Quotes

1. Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you.
2. Multi-tasking is the ability to screw everything up simultaneously.
3. I'm sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch.
4. A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.
5. Being smarter than you look is better than looking smarter than you are.
6. I started to realise that being impolite saves an awful lot of time and costs you nothing.
7. Speed focuses the mind. It cuts through the fog of drab everyday living and keeps us on our toes. Speed works. Speed saves lives. Speed is good. And we should have more of it, not less.
8. This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory.
9. We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging.
10. I love Alfa Romeos and that [Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio] was tremendous.

Jeremy Clarkson Short Quotes

• The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite
• I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!
• I like to be loved by my children, and I quite like the Guardian hating me.
• The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!
• Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.
• All this health and safety talk is just killing me.
• Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what BEING STABBED?
• It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom
• I dish the dirt out and I can take it. But why should my mother and children have to take it?
• I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.

Jeremy Clarkson Quotes About Cars

You're a car, but most of all, what you are, what you've become, is a mate. And that's what makes a car special. That's what makes a car great. You start to think of it as a person. You start to love it. — Jeremy Clarkson

This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying “Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.” — Jeremy Clarkson

[on the BMW X3] If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and think you are an onion, here's your car. — Jeremy Clarkson

Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all! — Jeremy Clarkson

I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do? — Jeremy Clarkson

Asking the front wheels of a car to do their normal job of steering while handling more than 170 is like asking a man to wire a plug while juggling. Penguins. While making love. To a beautiful woman while on fire, on stage. In front of the Queen. It's all going to go wrong. — Jeremy Clarkson

No, no, no. There's no such thing as cheap and cheerful. It's cheap and nasty & expensive and cheerful. — Jeremy Clarkson

Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off. — Jeremy Clarkson

The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw. — Jeremy Clarkson

Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It's like making a hard core adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You'd just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke's sweaty face. — Jeremy Clarkson

Jeremy Clarkson Famous Quotes And Sayings

Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you've got the Ebola virus and you're about to sneeze. — Jeremy Clarkson

You have city centre pubs where men go to meet girls, not realising that all girls in city centre pubs have thighs like tug boats and morals that would surprise a zoo animal. — Jeremy Clarkson

I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper time. — Jeremy Clarkson

I mean its a weekly occurrence that somebody will complain that Top Gear was on last night - and you just sit back and wait for the complaints. But if you start to pay attention to everyones concerns, you end up with something bland and boring. So you sort of have to ignore everybody in order to do the show how we want to do it. — Jeremy Clarkson

Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves. All we know is he’s called the Stig. — Jeremy Clarkson

If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside. — Jeremy Clarkson

Let's be perfectly clear, shall we. The fox is not a little orange puppy dog with doe eyes and a waggly tail. It's a disease-ridden wolf with the morals of a psychopath and the teeth of a great white shark. — Jeremy Clarkson

She can take a year to read something, whereas I like a book that becomes more important in my life that life itself. When I was in the middle of 'Red Storm Rising' by Tom Clancy - which was not selected for the Man Booker shortlist - you could have taken my liver out and fed it to the dog. And I wouldn't have noticed. — Jeremy Clarkson

Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase, but this is like smearing honey onto Keira Knightley. — Jeremy Clarkson

I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating tw*t — Jeremy Clarkson

...it seemed appropriate that I should develop some kind of illness. This is a good idea when you are at a loose end because everything, up to and including herpes, is better than being bored. — Jeremy Clarkson

Biathletes need to eat 6.000 calories a day: six thousand! That's the equivalent of 2 pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 TWIX bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete! — Jeremy Clarkson

If the Scottish want to break away, I shall stand on Hadrian's Wall with a teary handkerchief, and say: 'Good riddance to the lot of you, and take your stupid bagpipes with you.' — Jeremy Clarkson

If a football official were to call for a slow-motion replay every time Didier Drogba fell over, each match would last about six weeks. — Jeremy Clarkson

The newest Ferrari of them all, the 458, the Italia. The GT3 was good, but nowhen near as good as this... almost nothing on Earth is as good as this... Set that something I've just told, involving Cameron Diaz... and some honey... then it comes that even that isn't as good as this. — Jeremy Clarkson

I have a pathological terror of falling through ice. I nearly drowned once. I fell off a boat and got a cramp, and was rescued by an oil-rig diver, a great bear of a man who simply leant into the water and scooped me out with one finger. — Jeremy Clarkson

Some say his droppings have been found as far north as York, and that he has a full size tattoo of his face, on his face. All we know is he’s called the Stig. — Jeremy Clarkson

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was. — Jeremy Clarkson

When I was 16, I wanted to look like Lord Byron. It's not really a haircut so much as a hair-not-cut, but I've never changed it. It's a bit Byron, a bit Don Juan DeMarco and other things that I aspire to be. — Jeremy Clarkson

Selling through the internet seems to be a very good idea. There are a million areas that we can go to. — Jeremy Clarkson

Governments would rather spend their money on another bomber than education, and why do we fear black men when every bit of suffering in our lives has a Caucasian face attached to it? — Jeremy Clarkson

Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish Delight. All we know is he’s called the Stig. — Jeremy Clarkson

The problem is that television executives have got it into their heads that if one presenter on a show is a blonde-haired, blue-eyed heterosexual boy, the other must be a black Muslim lesbian. — Jeremy Clarkson

Like many men, I can never find anything that I'm looking for, even when I'm actually looking at it. In a fridge, I think milk is actually invisible to the male eye. And so, it turns out, are dirty great holes in the fence. — Jeremy Clarkson

Unlike furious thin-lipped feminists, I tend not to draw distinctions between men and women, apart from in bed where you really do need to spot the difference. — Jeremy Clarkson

Hollywood movies are designed for 15-year-old youths from North Dakota who, intellectually speaking, are on equal terms with a British zoo animal. — Jeremy Clarkson

I think it's a good idea to tie Peter Mandelson to a van. Such an act would be cruel and barbaric and inhuman. But it would at least cheer everyone up a bit. — Jeremy Clarkson

Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would. — Jeremy Clarkson

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sportscar in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President. — Jeremy Clarkson

God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place. — Jeremy Clarkson

There are many rules for the elderly in the Highway Code. I have one too, and here it is: get a bloody move on. — Jeremy Clarkson

Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you? — Jeremy Clarkson

That [Pagani] Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time. — Jeremy Clarkson

Extravagant is, I think, the word we all thought when we met ... A lot of money went into that [The Grand Tour's ]. I just thought it would be a good idea to have a bridge from the old to the new and that was a way of saying 'Right, well now look where we are.' — Jeremy Clarkson

Italy's youngsters complain, apparently, about having to live at home until they are 72 but that's because they spend all their money on suits and coffee and Alfa Romeos rather than mortgages. — Jeremy Clarkson

Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow. — Jeremy Clarkson

Like every big organisation these days, the BBC is obsessed with the wellbeing of those who set foot on its premises. Studios must display warning notices if there is real glass on the set, and the other day I was presented with a booklet explaining how to use a door. I am not kidding. — Jeremy Clarkson

Does anyone really imagine for a moment that my wife gives two stuffs about global warming? She certainly did not appear to be all that bothered on Thursday evening when, during the great carbon-saving switch-off, I ran round the house furiously turning on every light, hair dryer, dishwasher and toaster. — Jeremy Clarkson

You know what, I distinctly remember my boat blew up and I was killed! — Jeremy Clarkson

Nothing can prepare you for the yawning chasm of time that passes in Canada before the healthcare system actually does any healthcare. — Jeremy Clarkson

If we build three million new houses by 2020, where will we grow all the stuff needed to feed the people who live in them? — Jeremy Clarkson

I don't think I am particularly funny. In fact, I know I'm not. — Jeremy Clarkson

Ecologically speaking, a spilt tanker load is like sticking a safety pin into an elephant's foot. The planet barely notices. After the Exxon Valdez accident in Alaska the oil company spent billions tidying up the coastline, but it was a waste of money because the waves were cleaning up faster than Exxon could. Environmentalists can never accept the planet's ability to self-heal. — Jeremy Clarkson

It's just thinking of funny things that will amuse us and entertain us and we'll come and do it. — Jeremy Clarkson

I wore a groove in the kitchen floor with endless trips to the fridge, hoping against hope that I had somehow missed a plateful of cold sausages on the previous 4,000 excursions. Then, for no obvious reason, I decided to buy a footstool. — Jeremy Clarkson

There are shantytowns in South Africa that are built better than Renaults! — Jeremy Clarkson

Why is the forecast so bland? Why instead of 'stormy' don't they just say the sea's 'a frothing maelstrom of terror and hopelessness'? — Jeremy Clarkson

It was as relaxing as being tickled. — Jeremy Clarkson

Then there’s the biggest problem of them all – the problem of being in an Audi TT when you are not called Angela. I do not know why it can be driven by only people named Angela, but that’s a fact and there’s nothing we can do about it. If you have a TT and you aren’t called Angela, you have the wrong car. — Jeremy Clarkson

Because drug dealers shoot each other in London, Norfolk farmers can't have guns to defend their homes. I mean, no one wants a gun - except at 4am when they hear a strange sound in the kitchen. — Jeremy Clarkson

Boredom forces you to ring people you haven’t seen for eighteen years and halfway through the conversation you remember why you left it so long. Boredom means you start to read not only mail-order catalogues but also the advertising inserts that fall on the floor. Boredom gives you half a mind to get a gun and go berserk in the local shopping centre, and you know where this is going. Eventually, boredom means you will take up golf. — Jeremy Clarkson

I therefore have to use The Force. And weirdly, this doesn't work very well. I don't understand why, because on the last census, I put my religion down as Jedi Knight. — Jeremy Clarkson

Americans are good at herding Bison. The end. — Jeremy Clarkson

I'd just find a story in Canada and come and do it. Combine harvester banger - actually I've done that: banger racing up in Red Deer [in Alberta, for his 1998 doc series Extreme Machines]. — Jeremy Clarkson

My epiglottis is full of bees! — Jeremy Clarkson

Column writing is like gas - it fills the available space. — Jeremy Clarkson

The "public" seems to have bought into this belief that life can, and should, be run without risk, that all accidents are avoidable, and that death is something that only happens to people who eat meat and smoke. — Jeremy Clarkson

When we went to Canada [with Top Gear], I was staggered about how many people got in touch ... Before we finish with The Grand Tour, we'll definitely be appearing in Canada at some point. Nothing is more certain than that. — Jeremy Clarkson

Mix an anorexic body with a heart made of pure fire and you are going to go with a savagery that's hard to explain. — Jeremy Clarkson

I'm not only in touch with my feminine side, I'm in touch with my gay side as well. — Jeremy Clarkson

You take out an injunction against somebody or some organisation and immediately news of that injunction and the people involved and the story behind the injunction is in a legal-free world on Twitter and the Internet. It's pointless. — Jeremy Clarkson

The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler — Jeremy Clarkson

.. international hand of freindship. A cigarette — Jeremy Clarkson

We don't know how many people are watching The Grand Tour's - it's a closely guarded secret, we don't even know - the only thing we can do is make a program that we enjoy. And then hope that we're not so unusual that other people won't share our taste. — Jeremy Clarkson

I'm a horse of a man! — Jeremy Clarkson

I'm having a nice cold pint and waiting for this to blow over. — Jeremy Clarkson

Sometimes I stagger even myself with my genius. — Jeremy Clarkson

I'm not capable of having an affair. You can ask my wife. I'm not physically capable. — Jeremy Clarkson

Ambition is a very dangerous thing because either you achieve it and your life ends prematurely, or you don't, in which case your life is a constant source of disappointment. You must never have ambition. — Jeremy Clarkson

If I like somebody else's tribe I'm going to promote the hell out of it. The whole thing is a democracy, and if somebody's more popular then good luck to them. — Jeremy Clarkson

Cows eat grass and silage. This is melting the ice caps and killing us all. So they need a new foodstuff: something that is rich in iron, calcium and natural goodness. Plainly they cannot eat meat so here is an idea to chew on. Why not feed them vegetarians? — Jeremy Clarkson

This is perfect for India because everyone who comes here gets the trots. — Jeremy Clarkson

Planet Earth thought it had £10. But it turns out we only had £2. Which means everyone must lose 80% of their wealth — Jeremy Clarkson

Looking good in Italy is even more important than looking where you're going. — Jeremy Clarkson

Life Lessons by Jeremy Clarkson

1. Jeremy Clarkson has taught us the importance of having a strong work ethic and the power of determination. He has shown us that it is possible to achieve success through hard work and dedication.
2. He has also demonstrated that it is possible to remain successful and relevant in a constantly changing industry, by staying up to date with the latest trends and developing new skills.
3. Finally, Clarkson has highlighted the importance of taking risks and pushing boundaries in order to stand out from the crowd and make a lasting impression.