The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor.— Margo Kaufman
The most fascinating Margo Kaufman quotes that are guaranted to improve your brain
We are living in the era of the busybody.
In ancient Greece, if a person wanted guidance, it involved a long, arduous expensive journey to consult the oracle at Delphi. Today, if you want guidance, all you have to do is unplug your ears.
Besides, the only thing you can control in life is your wardrobe.
Cars break down when you least expect it. Boats eat money and gas. Your house, your mate, your friends, your family, even your career, are beyond your control. However, you're in total command of what you put on your back each morning.
One person's mess is merely another person's filing system.
I asked my vet what kind of dog he'd get.
He told me, 'I'd get a Chihuahua, because when it died, I wouldn't care.
It seems to be a rule of life that the less qualified you are to give counsel, the more counsel you give.
I once complained to my father that I didn't seem to be able to do things the same way other people did. Dad's advice? 'Margo, don't be a sheep.People hate sheep. They eat sheep.'
House guests (I don't care who they are, how much I like them, or how long it's been since I last saw them) are pests, much like roaches and mice. But there are differences. You can trap roaches and mice. And they don't want you to drive them to Disneyland.
Call me an alarmist, but there are certain words I don't like to hear together: cheap fireplace, discount brakes, cut-rate surgery.
In my experience, Cupid's arrows rarely strike two people with the same definition of cleanliness. One partner usually feels like he or she is being asked to live in a furniture exhibit in the British Museum. The other partner remains convinced that he or she is forced to contend with the human version of Hurricane Gilbert.
I think bad taste should be a felony.
Probably is not a word I like to hear when I'm talking about our chances of recouping a huge investment.
But a hobby, like a habit, makes you forget about important things in life.
... blueprints are like pets and children -- difficult to appreciate or understand unless they're yours.
Anyone who believes that men and women have the same mind-set hasn't lived on earth. A man thinks that everything he does is wonderful, that the sun rises and sets around him. But a woman has doubts.
A book collection is a cross between a Rorschach test and This Is Y our Life.
It marks your life clearly like rings on a tree.
With a car there is always a problem.
I have never enjoyed an experience that begins at five A.M.
Remodeling is like pulling a loose thread on a cheap sweater - the job keeps unraveling.
Truth is funnier than most things you can make up.
At the beginning of a remodel, money is everything, but as you go along, it becomes secondary to the vision. You can't have the house looking like a glorious jewel and leave the cracked linoleum or the icky light fixture, so you spend and spend and spend. Then one day it suddenly occurs to you that all that play money you've been throwing around is real - and it's in someone else's bank account.
Los Angeles: A city I like because it's easy to tell who the strange people are.
... trying to control construction costs is like trying to control the cost of a hospital stay. You may not realize that when you sneeze and the nurse hands you a box of tissues, it generates a $5 charge on your bill. But you still have to pay.
Remarriage is an excellent test of just how amicable your divorce was.
My husband says that I'm afraid of heights, but that's not true. What I'm afraid of is falling.
... no effort based on love is wasted.
Show dogs and their handlers remind me of Brooke Shields and her mother: an incredibly disheveled person tethered to an impeccably groomed animal.