The funny thing about stop signs is that they're also start signs.

— Maureen Johnson

The most revolutionary Maureen Johnson quotes that are simple and will have a huge impact on you

I sleep better knowing that a naked cork-eater is not sneaking around at night, stealing my underwear.

13

Writing is one of the few careers for which you essentially train yourself, the other two major ones being juggling and pickpocketing.

9

It took about three minutes for the unassuming Waffle House to become the new offices of the law firm of Amber, Amber, Amber, and Madison. They set up camp in a clump of booths in the corner opposite from us. A few of them gave me an "oh, good, you are still alive" nod, but for the most part, they had no interest in anyone else.

8

i miss you so much it's giving me a pain in my pancreas.

8

Spicy food and I have a close relationship—an obsessive one, in fact.

If it’s spicy, I want it. I want to sweat and shake and go half blind from the searing pain . . . which, now that I put it that way, seems really suggestive. But spicy stuff is addictive. That’s a known fact of science.

8

Ah," he said. "I had an . . . artistic disagreement with the director of the panto. As it happens, I take issue with the objectification of women in Cinderella, and the reliance on shoes as a means of identification. Surely you understand.

7

Sometimes I even felt like he dated me as part of his plan, like they were going to have a checklist on the application, and one of the things to tick off was going to be, "Do you have a reasonably intelligent girlfriend who shares your aspirations, and who is fully prepared to accept your limited availability?

5

She was standing in the airport of Copenhagen, staring at a doorway, trying to figure out if it was (a) a bathroom and (b) what kind of bathroom it was. The door merely said H. Was she an H? Was H "hers"? It could just as easily be "his". Or "Helicopter Room: Not a Bathroom at All

5

It's always easier to say good-bye when you know it's just a prelude to hello.

5

Fear can't hurt you," she said. "When it washes over you, give it no power. It's a snake with no venom. Remember that. That knowledge can save you.

5

You can never visit the same place twice.

Each time, it's a different story. By the very act of coming back, you wipe out what came before.

4

I like you because you were mad. And you're pretty. And pretty sane for a mad person.

4

About Maureen Johnson

Quotes 169 sayings
Profession Author
Birthday February 16, 1973

There is no normal. I've never met a normal person. The concept is flawed. It implies that there is only one way people are supposed to be, and that can't possible be true. Human experience is far too varied.

3

I have no phobias. Phobias are irrational. My fears are rational and CAREFULLY CULTIVATED, like roses.

3

This pool is a triumph of imagination.

That's how you win at life, Gin. You have to imagine your way through. Never say something can't be done. There's always a solution, even if it's weird.

2

I may have been a complete lunatic, but I was a complete lunatic with manners.

2

You don't know me yet," I said. "Rory was telling me she lives in a swamp," Charlotte said. "That's right," I said, turning up my accent a little. "These are the very first shoes I've ever owned. They sure do pinch my feet." Jerome gave a little snort.

1

I dumped out the bag and found what had been inside was a bunched-up police uniform, complete with the vest. "Where did you get this?" Boo asked. "It's Callum's," he said. "What's he wearing?" "At the moment, not much of anything. Put it on." I noticed Book perk up a bit at this piece of information.

1

Claim whatever you want. Say you only want a happy family or a successful career or a big house. I say: no, that's not what you want. You'll settle for those things, but you really want a monkey that does your evil bidding. Pullman is a genius just for this.

1

Something about this boat screamed, "I am a very popular model in the world's oil-bearing regions. I cost more than your soul!

0

Being an author means, almost by definition, that you make up characters and then complicate their lives. That's it, really. You make up characters and give them problem after problem after problem.

0

I read two mysteries a day when I was a kid.

All of Agatha Christie, all of 'Sherlock Holmes.' I've seen every single British detective show ever made.

0

Can I tell you something you really don't want to hear? He's going to break up with you. - Stuart

0

Walk really, really carefully. It's not complicated, but if you mess up, you'll die, so pay attention.

0

We're going to die," Keith said, the moment he was gone.

"This man is a serial killer. We're going to die, and he's going to bury us in his garden and build a shed on us.

0

One of them hung a pink bra from our lighting fixture. I left it there. It was a nice bra

0

Hey! Jack the Wanker! Over here! I want your autograph!

0

One question," I said. "Did you tell me all that because you think I'm going to die?" "No," he said. "It's because you're doing something brave, and I felt I should too." "I'll take that as a yes," I said.

0

It was almost funny. Life seemed downright accidental in its brevity, and death a punch line to a lousy joke.

0

Hot tea," he said, holding the cups. "It's just wrong.

0

It rang and it rand and it rang. I looked at the screen one last time, then at Stuart, and then I reached my arm back and threw the phone as hard as I could (sadly, not that far), and it vanished into the snow. The eight-year-olds, who were truly fascinated with our every move at this point, chased after it. 'Lost it,' I said. 'Whoops.

0

Braiiinnnnssss," we said in unison. "It's both sad and incredibly impressive that you were all ready with that one.

0

Tell me what you want, what you really, really want," he said. "Braiiinnnnssss," we said in unison.

0

because talent alone doesn't make an artist

0

Sometimes I feel like I've been waiting for someone to tell me when I can be normal again,' she said. 'I keep thinking I'll get a letter. Or a call. When does it happen?' Pete looked like he wanted to walk toward her, but then he fell back against the car. The staring contest between them for almost a minute, and finally Pete exhaled loudly. It's okay,' he said.

0

Some nutter's gone and pulled a Jack the Ripper.

0

The English play hockey in any weather.

Thunder, lightning, plague of locusts... nothing can stop the hockey. Do not fight the hockey, for the hockey will win.

0

Mouth guard. And I think we'll start you in goal." Goal sounded like a special job. I didn't want a special job, unless that special job involved sitting on the side under a pile of blankets.

0

They weren't pressed together as closely as normal, but his shoulder bumped hers, then remained there. It was very subtle, and possibly even accidental, but it was enough.

0

She couldn't take her eyes off the boxers.

Mostly, she had a view of the back, but he turned halfway when he looked over. She commanded herself not to look at the front flap, which, of course, was exactly what she honed in on. He spit and put his mouth under the tap to get some water. All while just wearing underwear. All while she just stared at the crucial spot of the Action Pants.

0

Having your back scratched is not the only reason to be married, but it is a good one, especially for those spots that are so hard to reach by yourself.

0

We learn that many great thinkers were convinced that the Bible contained the Ancient Mysteries, but not in the literal words—that the words on the pages were codes, and that the Bible is comprised of heavy-handed and useless story covering up something much more important and interesting. I get the feeling that [Dan Brown] is trying to tell me something, but I am not biting, reader.

0

Although it was very cold, he wore no coat.

I think some English people think coats are for the weak.

0

It was like the entire world was colluding to make me feel insane, and it was doing a really good job.

0

What are you?" I asked. "I'm the Ghost of the Night Before Exams." "And how long did it take you to come up with that?" Jazza asked. "I'm a busy man," he replied.

0

Sometimes people graduate but they don't leave.

They hang around for years, for no reason. I would think of ghosts like that, I decided.

0

A pause while my mother made high-pitched sisterly devotions of gratitude.

0

We heard her come halfway up the stairs, where she must have seen the bedroom light on. Again, the normal parent reaction would have been to say something like, "You had better come out this moment or I am releasing the tiger!" But Debbie was not a normal parent, so we heard her gigle and creep away, saying, "Shhh! Rachel! Come with Mommy! Stuart is busy!

0

What tinfoil?" he asked.

0
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