Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.— Wilson Mizner
The most revealing Wilson Mizner quotes to discover and learn by heart
If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.
God help those who do not help themselves.
Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
Always be nice to people on the way up; because you'll meet the same people on the way down.
The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong.
The first hundred years are the hardest.
The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork.
The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.
I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more.
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
What feeling is so nice as a child's hand in yours? So small, so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp.
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something.
To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him.
I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs.
The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
The most pitiful human ailment is a birdseed heart.
Money is the only substance which can keep a cold world from nicknaming a citizen Hey, you
You're a mouse studying to be a rat.
If you steal from one author, its plagiarism. If you steal from two, its research.
Failure has gone to his head.
Life is a tough proposition and the first hundred years are the hardest.
A fellow who is always declaring that he's no fool, usually has his suspicions.
He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup.
Easy street is a blind alley.
I never saw a mob rush across town to do a good deed.
I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets.
Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother.
I have known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, but never had a thought.
If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research.
It is criminal negligence to leave suckers lying around to tempt honest men.
A good party is where you enjoy good people, and they taste even better with Champagne.
The day which we fear as our last is but the bday of eternity.
- By SenecaThe first hundred years are the hardest.
Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor-unassisted.
When you steal from one author, it's plagiarism. When you steal from many, it's research.
Women can instantly see through each other, and it's surprising how little they observe that's pleasant.
Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.
Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
Count 10 over him - he'll get up
Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.