quote by Lewis Grizzard

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

— Lewis Grizzard

Bashful Baptist quotations

There is no success without sacrifice.

If you succeed without sacrifice it is because someone has suffered before you. If you sacrifice without success it is because someone will succeed after.

Our religion seems foolish to you, but so does yours to me.

The Baptists and Methodists and Presbyterians and the Catholics all have a different God. Why cannot we have one of our own?

God never takes away something from your life without replacing it with something better.

My prayer today is that we will feel the loving arms of God wrapped around us, and will know in our hearts that He will never forsake us as we trust in Him.

We should not pray for God to be on our side, but pray that we may be on God's side.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

You see, I was the son of a baptist minister.

I enjoy being Jewish, but I'm an atheist.

.. I hate fundamentalism in all its forms. Jews, Catholics, Baptists, I think they are all potty and capable of destroying the world.

The Southern Baptist Church is a specific culture in itself.

So, I had to study, talk to people, watch tape and go to performances to see how Gospel artists move compared to secular artists.

You might say that Lyndon Johnson is a cross between a Baptist preacher and a cowboy.

Baptists are very strong believers that the civil magistrate is ordained by God to punish those who do evil.

I sang with Anita Bryant in the Southern Baptist churches.

I was raised Baptist, and I like the fact that I got my conscience installed early.

I'm from the South. I'm a Southern Baptist. I have a conservative point of view. I'm a Republican.

I have my own religion. I'm sort of one-quarter Baptist, one-quarter Catholic, one-quarter Jewish.

And, for instance, Baptists, Adventists, Lutherans, Pentecostals - let them exist on line with others.

Convictions are not merely beliefs we hold; they are those beliefs that hold us in their grip.

John the Baptist was supposed to point the way to the Christ.

He was just the voice, not the Messiah. So everybodys calling has dignity to it and God seems to know better than we do what is in us that needs to be called forth.

But, yea, I grew up in a strong Baptist background.

You should approach Joyce's Ulysses as the illiterate Baptist preacher approaches the Old Testament: with faith.

My ordination in the Church of God in Christ was at age 9, and I later became a Baptist minister, which I am today.

I'm Southern Baptist, not a meteorologist.

The world's greatest need is preaching preachers.

The Gospel is our emancipation proclamation: let's take it to the slaves of sin.

If you surrender yourself, and do not rush, but meditate on the Word of God, you will find prayer forming in your heart. It is a prayer inspired by the Holy Spirit, a prayer that God will be pleased to hear.

Becoming a Christian is the work of a moment; being a Christian is the work of a lifetime.

The Bible in the memory is better than the Bible in the book case.

One cannot help asking sadly, why is love of gold more potent than love of souls? The number of men mining and prospecting for gold in Shantung is more than double the number of men representing Southern Baptists! What a lesson for Southern Baptists to ponder!

Loving the Second Amendment while opposing the NRA is every bit as natural as loving Jesus while opposing Westboro Baptist Church.

I have never been brought up a Catholic - I mean, a Roman Catholic - we're all Catholics, aren't we? We're Protestant Catholics, whether we're from Methodist or Baptist or what.

John the Baptist never performed any miracles.

Yet, he was greater than any of the Old Testament prophets.

Use me, God. Show me how to take who I am, who I want to be, and what I can do, and use it for a purpose greater than myself.

When I see guys huddling up after the game, to pray, that’s what scares me about the game. I’m a Baptist, but I’m also a quarterback killer, and I ain’t praying with you. But I will give you 30 seconds to ask your Lord and master to keep me from killing you.

And they would ask, well, now, are you one of those narrow-minded Baptists who think only Baptists are going to heaven? To which I enjoy replying, now actually I'm more narrow than that, I don't think all the Baptists are going to make it.

Three more saves and he ties John the Baptist.

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