33+ Lewis Grizzard Quotes On Yankees, South And Humorous
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Top 10 Lewis Grizzard Quotes (BEST)
- God bless Merle Haggard. He did all the things that Johnny Cash was supposed to have done.
- It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.
- I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.
- The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.
- There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
- Money doesn't grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard.
- If soccer was an American soft drink, it would be Diet Pepsi
- Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.
- I finally figured it out, I finally figured out how to find some peace and happiness. I sure would hate for the man upstairs to take me now. But at least I did figure it out.
- Today's sensitive male has learned to share in open frank discussions about relationships like, "Where the hell did you get a crazy idea like that? You been reading Redbook again?"
Lewis Grizzard Image Quotes
They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat. — Lewis Grizzard
Lewis Grizzard Short Quotes
- On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing.
- Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
- They tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.
- Spring time is the land awakening.
- Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.
- I'd much rather sit next to a smoker in a restaurant than a nose-blower.
- When My Love Returns from the Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old to Care?
- I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.
- Let's all start walking more and driving less.
- Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good for myself.
Lewis Grizzard Quotes On House
I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married. — Lewis Grizzard
Instead of getting married again. I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house. — Lewis Grizzard
I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house. — Lewis Grizzard
Lewis Grizzard Quotes On Lead
Mama had an appreciation of the language. She taught me a love of words, of how they should be used and how they can fill a creative soul with a passion and lead to a life's work. — Lewis Grizzard
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. — Lewis Grizzard
If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes. — Lewis Grizzard
Lewis Grizzard Famous Quotes And Sayings
The only way that I could figure they could improve upon Coca-Cola, one of life's most delightful elixirs, which studies prove will heal the sick and occasionally raise the dead, is to put bourbon in it. — Lewis Grizzard
Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing. — Lewis Grizzard
There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago. — Lewis Grizzard
If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground. — Lewis Grizzard
I get letters from people who say, 'What have you got against women?' What could I possibly have against women? I've married three of them. — Lewis Grizzard
If Love Were Oil, / I'd Be About a Quart Low. — Lewis Grizzard
In the south there's a difference between 'Naked' and 'Nekkid.' 'Naked' means you don't have any clothes on. 'Nekkid' means you don't have any clothes on and you're up to somethin'. — Lewis Grizzard
Life Lessons by Lewis Grizzard
- Lewis Grizzard taught us to never take life too seriously and to always find the humor in everyday situations.
- He showed us the importance of cherishing relationships and the people we love, and to never take them for granted.
- He also reminded us to be kind to ourselves and to always strive to be the best version of ourselves.
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