Garrison Keillor (born Gary Edward Keillor on August 7, 1942 in Anoka, Minnesota) is an American author, storyteller, humorist, columnist, musician, satirist, and radio personality.
Let this list of 36 quotations by the American writer Garrison Keillor lead you to an inspirational day. Recharge yourself with motivational humor, people, life sayings, and satisfy your hunger for a better life.
What are the best Garrison Keillor quotes?
We've made this hand-picked collection of quotes to show you what is Garrison Keillor truly willing to say and leave for generations. Whether an inspirational quote or a motivational message about giving your best, we can all benefit from the wisdom, captured within these words.
They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.
I used to think that kid might become a preacher.
Now I don't see how he's going to stay out of prison. Nobody in this family ever went to prison for sex crimes. He'd be the first.
Yes, says Jesus, you never know about these things.
He and Grandpa are drinking cups of coffee and eating ginger snaps. Grandpa says, When are you planning to return to earth?
Soon as I finish this coffee, say Jesus. Pretty good, isn't it.
All fiction comes from a little bit of reality, otherwise it would have no relevance. The fun is in innovation, take something real like this fair, and make it something larger than life.
When you come to expect humor of people, you will never get it.
Ralph Stanley is like an uncle to us and now that all my uncles are gone, Ralph's singing is even more precious. This album of classic folk songs is one of his best.
A boy wrote me once to say that he loved it when the news from Lake Wobegon came on the radio because it meant that his parents stopped arguing. That was an eye-opener for me. You work hard to polish your act and then you find out that it does people good in ways you couldn't predict.
A person does feel sheepish picking on journalists, a class already so richly despised that if a planeload of them crashed in flames, most people would smile from pure reflex.
In romance, as in life, you only learn when you're losing.
No matter what time of year I come here, people always say the same thing: Its not usually like this.
You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy.
I hear a little firecracker go off when you come up with a good rhyme.
In the end, all solutions are temporary.
If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun.
Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster.
The problem with paradise is that it's temporary: You don't belong here and the neighbors are nobody you care to know, so it's only blissful for a week or so.
We English majors...need to promote public libraries as a tool in the war against terror. How many readers of Edith Wharton have engaged in terroristic acts? I challenge you to name one...Do we need to wait until our cities lie in smoking ruins before we wake up to the fact that a first-class public library is a vital link in national defense?
Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels.
It's not the point of the thing, is it?
Where I come from, when a Catholic marries a Lutheran it is considered the first step on the road to Minneapolis.
I was brought up imagining that cream rises to the top, merit wins out, the race is to the swift and riches to men of understanding, but it ain't necessarily so. The swift stand a better chance if they are also beautiful.
Freedom doesn't mean aimlessness. We can't just sleepwalk through life.... Freedom demands structure.
The fundamental religion of most of mankind is the faith that God has revealed Himself to us and not to the barbarians. Our tribe is the one God chose and so if we vanquish the other tribes and rain fire and destruction on them, we're only carrying out God's Will.
Your car, comfort though it be, this little den and dining room on wheels, is a prison that deadens your senses, and to feel wholly alive you must go for a walk.
Librarians, Dusty, possess a vast store of politeness.
These are people who get asked regularly the dumbest questions on God's green earth. These people tolerate every kind of crank and eccentric and mouth breather there is.
This is a great country, and it wasn't made so by angry people.
We have a sacred duty to bequeath it to our grandchildren in better shape than however we found it. We have a long way to go and we're not getting any younger.Dante said that the hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who in time of crisis remain neutral, so I have spoken my piece, and thank you, dear reader. It's a beautiful world, rain or shine, and there is more to life than winning.
Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and we will go to great lengths to prove it.
Humor needs to come in under cover of darkness, in disguise, and surprise people.
I have taken so many wrong turns and been so careless with precious things and managed to lose, or break, or leave out in the rain so much that I loved.
... I never was one to get upset about a few scratches on a motor vehicle, it is meant to be used, not saved.
Winter: It's not just a season, it's who we are.
Bad things don't happen to writers; it's all material.
It's confidence; it has to be something good about getting old. One of the things is that you just don't stress about some stuff that made you so worried.
I'm of an age when if I started to do eulogies, I'd be doing nothing else.
You don't want to be remembered? I don't want them to be told to remember me.
We carry adolescence around in our bodies all our lives.
We get through the Car Crash Age alive and cruise through our early twenties as cool dudes, wily, dashing, winsome . . . shooting baskets, the breeze, the moon, and then we try to become caring men, good husbands, great fathers, good citizens.
Children can find other children to be pals. Children need fathers to be fathers.
I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness.
...opening up a newspaper is the key to looking classy and smart. Never mind the bronze-plated stuff about the role of the press in a democracy - a newspaper, kiddo, is about Style.
I am a cheerful man, even in the dark, and it's all thanks to a good Lutheran mother. . . . Mother was well composed, a true Lutheran, and taught me to Cheer up, Make yourself useful, Mind your manners, and above all, Don't feel sorry for yourself.