It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

— Al Yankovic

The most colossal Al Yankovic quotes that will add value to your life

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.

47

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

24

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

24

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.

22

At this point I've got a bit of a track record.

So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.

21

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

16

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs.

You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

14

You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

13

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab.

You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

12

My hobbies just sort of gradually became my vocation.

12

I've learned how to use my spam filter pretty effectively.

12

I have very mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I’m concerned that the rampant downloading of my copyright-protected material over the Internet is severely eating into my album sales and having a decidedly adverse effect on my career. On the other hand, I can get all the Metallica songs I want for FREE! WOW!

9

About Al Yankovic

Quotes 150 sayings
Nationality American
Profession Comedian
Birthday October 16

I'm an ugly girl, My face makes you hurl, Sad I have it, I should bag it.

Acne everywhere, Unwanted facial hair. I'm a relation to Frankenstein's creation.

8

People that were a little nerdy in high school would look up to me and know it gets better.

7

Didn't have Nintendo, we just poured salt on snails.

6

I can't say enough good things about my band.

I feel very fortunate that I found them when I did, very early in my career. Not only are they just great, nice guys; they're some of the best musicians you're likely to find. They do everything from gangsta rap to polka music and every genre in between. It's amazing.

6

Probably 90 percent of my albums have polka medleys.

5

My process for the parodies is that I get an idea for a song and then get approval from the artist and then go in and record it and probably try to get it out as soon as possible.

5

That's something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.

5

I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use the self service pump.

5

I'll bet every great thinker and leader we've got Could see all kinds of things other people could not! So then why get upset if somebody like me Tries to look at the world just a bit differently?

5

I'm just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of slime.

4

There are probably a few library fines I haven't paid yet, but I'm a pretty clean-cut guy overall.

4

I cut my teeth playing rock songs on the accordion when I was a teenager and my friends always thought that was extremely amusing. I think that was the genesis of my polka medleys, because every rock song I played on the accordion just sounded like a polka and my friends thought it was funny. So that was a joke that I continue up to this very day.

4

What kind of morons do you have working at newspapers in Austin that would base an entire review of an artist's performance on whether or not they had a good seat?

3

Some people want to advertise their weirdness, and spread it out, that's not me.

3

There aren't that many superstars around anymore.

3

I was a huge fan of 'Mad' magazine when I was 11, 12, 13 years old.

I'd scour used bookstores trying to find back issues, and I'd wait at the newsstand for a new issue to come out. My life revolved around it.

3

He died a long painful death. However, you'll be happy to hear that just a few years later he was reincarnated as Shirley MacLaine.

2

Maybe I'll make a huge color tapestry from my belly button lint.

2

I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend one more minute with you.

2

I can bend paper clips into the shapes of small animals.

1

He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.

1

I'll be mellow when I'm dead.

1

I think my chances of ever making it into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame are about as good as Milli Vanilli’s.

1

I don't really look at myself as the kind of person who craves attention, but I've never been to therapy so there's probably a lot of stuff about myself that I don't know.

1

It was difficult to get into my friends' rock bands when I was a teenager.

They somehow didn't see the need for an accordion player. That's when I realized that I had to find my own path in life.

1

I make charts of songs that are good candidates, good targets, so to speak.

Then I try to come up with ideas for parodies. And 99% of those ideas are horrible.

1

I knew we were having problems when you put those piranhas in my bathtub again.

1

By the time I'm in the studio recording my parody, 10,000 parodies of that song are on YouTube.

0

A lot of artists have really been supportive over the years.

0

Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue.

0

Kind of wish I was dead. Maybe, I'll blow my brains out, mama, or maybe I'll go bowling.

0

My wife went off with Elvis.

0

A lot of rap songs don't usually have a lot of melody per se.

0

I like to think that I've gotten better at what I do.

I spend more time and pay more attention to detail album after album. But pretty much it's stayed the same.

0

I'm free to do what I please, I'm probably not going to do albums.

Just because I think releasing tracks as singles is a better way for me to stay topical.

0

My own personal tastes don't really have an effect on whether song is a parody target or not. But having said that, I try to pick songs that I actually like because I realize that I have to live with these songs for a long time, from when I'm working on them in the studio to possibly playing them onstage for the rest of my life. So I try not to pick songs that I know would drive me crazy.

0

I think that nerds, if you want to call them that, have only gotten more hip and assimilated into the culture.

0
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